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Chapter 21 . . .

The Doctor couldn't help being a bit tickled as he navigated his way through the time vortex. He was currently on his way to Martha's mum's house. For the tenth time in three weeks, Martha was 'at her wits end' with her mother. She and Francine had been grating on each other from almost the moment she had returned from Cardiff. Francine had been in full mothering mode, whereas Martha had no interest in being treated like an invalid. He knew both women had strong personalities which didn't bode well for the situation. Though she had made remarkable progress in less than a month, Martha was still on the mend and the stress couldn't be helping.

Martha phoned him while he was in the midst of an intergalactic chess tournament appearing to have finally had enough. She requested that he come and get her before she did something "unpleasant" to her mother. As much as he missed having her with him, he knew she still wasn't well enough to resume traveling fully again. He did contemplate a compromise he hoped would soothe both mother and daughter.

When he arrived at the Jones' home, he was tepidly greeted by Francine.

"Ah, Mrs. Jones, how are things?"

"As if you don't already know," she replied curtly.

"I'm sure she's been giving you the play by play of her version."

The Doctor guiltily hesitated, "Well . . . she did mention you two were a bit at odds."

Francine rolled her eyes, reminding him so much of Martha when she was frustrated, "She's just being a pill. It's true what they say about doctors making lousy patients. She ignores half of the doctor's instructions and the other half she tweaks whenever the mood strikes her. It's a wonder she's made as much progress as she has."

She paused and dramatically threw up her hands before concluding, "God knows I love my daughter but honestly, I'm nearly at the end of my rope here."

The Doctor could sense the frustration from both women but was convinced he had a solution he hoped both would find amenable. He decided since he already had her ear to try and sell it to Francine first.

"What if I said I could help remedy this situation?"

She raised a brow, "Short of drugging her pudding?"

The Doctor raised a brow at that comment to which Francine promptly replied, "Believe me, in my weaker moments I thought about it."

"Well it's nothing as dramatic as that. I was just thinking that maybe I could take Martha out for a bit."

Francine's eyes immediately widened into saucers, "No. No, she is definitely not ready for that . . . not yet."

The Doctor could see the fear of him whisking Martha off planet into more danger seep in instantly. He was also sure she was less ready than Martha but he shook his head, trying to calm her concern.

"You have my word we will not set foot off this planet. I know she is still recovering and wouldn't think of rushing that. I was thinking more like a walk through the park and maybe even a bite to eat."

Francine narrowed her eyes at the Time Lord with skepticism clearly etched there. He tried to answer her doubts firmly, "Mrs. Jones, I promise I won't take her anywhere further than the immediate neighborhood, alright? There will be no alien hunting, running or strenuous activities of any kind. I just think you could both use the breather. Wouldn't you agree?"

Now she began to look a bit less anxious. The truth was she knew a small break might do both she and Martha some good.

"And I have your word she doesn't leave this planet?" she pressed.

The Doctor instantly threw up two fingers and proudly stated, "Scout's honor." He paused and looked at his fingers and then back at Martha's mum, "That is the proper gesture, right?"

Francine shook her head with a bemused look etched on her face and was about to interject how strange he was when Martha appeared at the top of the stairs and glared at them both fiercely.

"Well, it's nice to see that you two can get along," she coolly commented.

"Martha. . ." the Doctor started.

Martha, though, didn't give him a chance to finish his thought as she tersely continued, "Too bad it's at my expense. I don't appreciate you two discussing me as if I have no mind of my own. I'm not some wayward child that needs handling by anyone. I am a trained medical doctor who knows my own body. I will do as I damn well please, so there is no need for these "back alley" deals to keep me in line."

As both the Doctor and her mother stood mouth slightly agape at her heated outburst, Martha frostily finished, "Now if you'll both excuse me, I'm going back to my room and you can both just go if I'm such a bother." She then promptly turned and disappeared back into the shadows.

Francine returned her gaze to the Doctor after her daughter's tirade and pointedly replied, "See what I'm dealing with here? No matter what I say or do it's wrong."

She sighed before preparing to head up the stairs in an attempt to smooth things over with her overwrought child when the Doctor moved to impede her progress.

"Let me try."

She offered a strained smile at his offer and reluctantly yielded the stairs to him with a wave. He returned the smile before slowly taking the stairs up.

He was greeted, as he expected, with a closed door and silence from the other side. So the Doctor proceeded to do what he did best . . . talk.

"Martha, your mum and I were not making plans for you. We both know you're very capable of making your own choices. We were simply thinking of ways of getting you out of here for a while that wouldn't exacerbate your recovery. I had every intention of coming to talk with you about it after . . ."

"After she gave you her blessing . . . like I'm some child," she hotly fired through the door.

He sighed inwardly, thinking that her present attitude was belying her protests to the contrary, "Not her blessing, just common courtesy. I thought she should know what I was thinking of doing. How would it look for me to swoop in and whisk you off without so much as a word?"

Martha scoffed, "I don't know . . . maybe like the first time we met."

That comment gave him pause. It was true that back then he hadn't even given her possible family concerns a second thought but now things had changed.

"Fair enough but things are different now, yeah?"

This time instead of a facetious reply he heard a sigh on the other side of the door. He sensed from that gesture that she was starting to lose some of her ire so he gently pressed, "May I please come in so we can talk about this face to face?"

There was another long silence after his request that made him think she might still be unwilling to relent. Just as he was about to let out his own sigh of frustration, the door before him slowly opened just a crack and then stopped. The Doctor figured this was as close to an invitation as he was going to get at the moment, so cautiously he pushed the door open wider and stepped inside. He glanced around briefly, with his eyes eventually falling on her diminutive frame sitting in an overstuffed plush chair just off to the side of her bed. Her gaze was fixed outside the window as she sat huddled with her feet tucked in the chair and her arms gingerly wrapped around herself. He noticed her countenance now appeared less angry and more irritated. The Doctor sighed as he moved further into the room and studied her for a long moment.

For her part, Martha knew she was being a bit ornery and had been for a while but she was a person used to taking care of others and not having the reverse be true. She didn't like depending on others to do things, especially basic ones like brushing her teeth or putting on makeup. She'd also been shot and nearly killed. As much as she wanted to just bounce back from that, the thoughts of how vulnerable she actually was would not dissipate. He physical wound had been healing nicely but her mental recovery was not going so smoothly.

Unfortunately, she had been taking out her anxiety and frustration on any one within earshot, which was usually her mum. Martha knew she wasn't being fair, after all her mum had taken time off of work to care for her and all she had done from day one was give her grief. However, seeing and hearing Francine and the Doctor discussing her like some unruly teen tweaked all her current emotions and she again spoke through her emotions. She knew she owed them both apologies but she was finding it hard to make herself do that.

Surprisingly, the Doctor beat her to the punch. She was stunned when she heard his voice so close. She glanced to her side just as he lowered himself to her side and gently said, "I'm sorry if you felt I was overstepping. I just wanted to make things better for you."

The gentleness of his tone coupled with the humility and caring of his words proved too much for her conscious to bear.

"I'm the one who's sorry. My mum is right. I have been behaving like a cantankerous child. She's been doing everything she could to help me out and I have done nothing but complain and criticize."

She paused and sighed before turning to look at him more fully.

"It's just hard . . . not being able to do things for myself," she softly concluded before turning her gaze back out the window as though embarrassed by her admission.

The Doctor, though, was happy to hear her admit what this was really about. He knew it would be hard for Martha to not be the caretaker. She was always the one people depended on and now having to be the dependent one was a change she was struggling with. He lightly touched her arm, causing her to return her eyes to him as he gently tried to soothe, "I get that. Better than most, in fact. You're so used to taking care of everyone that when the shoe's on the other foot you don't know how to react. But, Martha, sometimes you have to let someone take care of you too. Having you with me, both times, taught me that. It's not a sign of weakness to need help every now and then."

Martha inhaled deeply as she held his gaze and then slowly released that breath and gave him a grateful smile before quietly responding, "I know you're right and I'm really sorry for biting your head off earlier."

He responded with a reassuring smile that soon morphed into that more familiar, manic grin, "So does that mean you will be joining me for that stroll after all?"

Her smile brightened as she borrowed one of his favorite lines, "Oh yes."

After summoning Francine for an apology and assistance in getting dressed, Martha and the Doctor set off on foot. Their first stop was a little bistro in the neighborhood. There they shared light conversation mostly about the places the Doctor had visited in her absence. He assured her he had done nothing too amazing—stopped a few wars, rescued some natives from a vengeful despot—same old same old. Martha could only chuckle at his assessment of the "mundane". By the time they exited the restaurant, she, though, was completely at ease. The pair then silently strolled, arm and arm, over to a neighborhood park.

It was a balmy autumn evening and for a while each was content to quietly observe the brightly colored leaves on the ground as they gently danced about and the playful pups out for a stroll with their owners in tow. Martha eventually broke the silence, "Thanks for doing this."

He glanced over at her and playfully quipped, "I'm all for gratitude but you really don't need to thank me for visiting. You're my . . ." He hesitated to complete the sentence causing Martha to meet his gaze and wait, expectantly. Inside, a hundred adjectives raced through the Time Lord's mind but all seemed loaded with potential complications. Knowing he needed to complete the thought, he pulled out something he thought safe but also meaningful.

"My dearest companion."

Martha raised a brow at his declaration but otherwise didn't react outwardly. Inside, however, she was caught between being heartened and wondering if companion would be all she would ever really be to him. As much as things had changed, she still felt there was calculated distance between them. She sighed and attempted to push those thoughts aside for the moment. He was here with her now and obviously trying to affirm that their relationship was significant. So instead of lingering on what wasn't said she returned to his previous point, genuinely replying, "I just don't want you to think that I take it for granted that you will come when I call."

His smile brightened, "The thought never crossed my mind."

He paused again and leaned in closer to her as he concluded, "And for the record, I will always come when you need me."

That admission warmed Martha immensely and finally brought her own smile to light.

As another companionable engulfed them and the pair comfortably walked on, the Doctor's thoughts drifted to how satisfying it felt to be with Martha like this, doing nothing in particular. He was usually so busy looking for the next adventure but since Martha had been out of commission, he found he would linger more, notice things he might have overlooked in the past.

For instance, he caught sight of a young couple walking towards he and Martha wrapped in each other's hold, laughing easily. At another point in time, such a thing would never have registered with him . . . just humans being humans. But now being with Martha and having nearly lost her, things like that seemed to take on more significance for him. He found himself more willing to entertain feelings of connection because she made it so easy. Just a smile or a quirk of her brow seemed to make him do things he would not have thought to do, not since Rose . . .

He sighed inwardly. Rose Tyler. She had been his everything once. She came into his life when he felt he had nothing worth living for. He was so raw and lost when they found each other. But like a ray of light, she broke through his darkness and opened him up again and made him enjoy life once more. For so long after he lost her, he believed nothing and no one could ever fill that void. Then he met Martha Jones. She was only training to be a doctor when they met but he knew from the instant they first spoke she would be a brilliant one eventually. He also knew she would be someone dear to him. And even as he did everything he could to dissuade her from caring for him, she never wavered in her affection. Yes, she moved forward but never beyond the eccentric old Time Lord.

As he walked arm and arm with her, he smiled inside, contemplating how another human woman had managed to worm her way into his hearts so fully, this time almost without him knowing. By sheer force of will and refusing to settle, she forced him to share some of who he was . . . things that he hadn't even shared with Rose. The tiny woman became a match for in numerous ways including intellectually and in determination.

And it was because of her that after Rose he did not wallow in his despair but recaptured his love of exploring the universe again. Her inquisitiveness, her compassion and willingness to make whatever sacrifices was necessary for others, especially him, made him adore her all the more. It was with these thoughts swirling in his mind that he was finally ready to acknowledge, at least to himself, that he had crossed the line he never thought he would with her.

He abruptly paused their walk, causing Martha to look up at him in confusion. The Doctor turned and studied her perplexed features for a tenuous moment before gently pulling her into a sudden, lingering hug. Martha was surprised at the unexpected contact but easily melted into his embrace. He placed a soft kiss on her hair and ruminated on what he knew without question now . . . he had fallen for Martha completely. The feel and the warmth of her were like a home he never thought he'd have again and that idea both excited and frightened him. He loved feeling this way. The rush of wanting and having someone who felt the same way was nearly overwhelming. Instinctively, he began to tighten his hold on her as they stood in each other's arms, unconsciously attempting to hold on to something he knew could be gone in an instant. It wasn't until he caught a soft hitch in her breathing that he came back to the moment itself.

"Too tight?" he softly inquired.

Still unsure of what prompted this amorous interlude, Martha had no interest in having it end yet. So she lightly shook her head against him as she replied, "Never."

He smiled at her response but still loosened his hold a little. And like a splash of reality, he was reminded of the frailty that went along with that feeling. She had nearly died less than a month ago and as a human one day she would succumb to death one way or another. It could all be so fleeting like the last time. He hadn't been sure, at the time, he would ever recover from losing Rose and now that he found himself harboring similar feelings for Martha, he was again left wondering how he would respond when he lost her too.

The Doctor knew he only had two options. He could either lay it on the line and love her for as long and as hard as he could, giving her more power than he'd ever given to anyone or continue to dance around his feelings for her and miss an opportunity, again, to let the person he loved know just how much she meant to him.

He gradually pulled away from their hug and sincerely looked into her questioning eyes, "Martha. . ."

She held his gaze and waited for him to continue. She could sense that there was something momentous compelling him along this more intimate course and she didn't want to disrupt his flow. She shuddered slightly when he brought his hands up to her face and gazed at her with such longing. He tenderly caressed her skin with his thumbs as he began again, "Martha, I . . ."

As she gazed up at him hopefully, his head started to war with his hearts again. His reason was telling him stepping across this threshold was the point of no return. Once he told her what he was feeling there would be no turning back. He knew Martha would take that admission and run with it and while his hearts longed for that reaction his more practical side hammered away at the idealization of what would come after his profession. He wanted so much to tell her those three little words he knew would mean so much and change everything for them both, to embrace what he felt and her and never let either go. But because of memories of past hope and loss he just couldn't prevent himself from reverting back to old habits.

He gave her a heart melting grin and restrained his impulse to declare his feelings, for now he told himself.

"I think we should be heading back. Don't want to get on your mum's bad side or, in my case, remain on it."

Martha could not help feeling a bit deflated by his ultimate words. The hold, the look, the moment seemed to scream of something more significant begging to be said but as he was prone to do, the Doctor shifted emotions and demeanors like a light switch. She sighed inwardly, wondering when or if those final barriers of his would ever come down. Or would she always be competing with his past . . . with Rose? Though things have been better than in the past there were still moments when she could almost sense him hesitate, as if the specter of the blonde was holding him back from her. She sighed audibly this time before giving him a halfhearted smile in return, "Yeah, I guess we should."

She gently removed herself from his hold and turned back towards the entrance they came in. Then gazing towards the coming and going traffic, she absently uttered, "Thanks again for the break."

"Oi!" was his short reply which caused her to chuckle in spite of the previous moment.

"Sorry. I forgot."

The Doctor joined her in the chortle, "Alright then, I'll let that one pass."

He then gently took the hand of her uninjured arm and began them back towards her mum's. Their journey back was a quiet one with both lost in their own thoughts which surprisingly both centered on whether they would ever fully get to where they wanted to be.