Here is some cracka doodly stuff, cuz I'm a freak. Plus, smut, cuz dirty reasons.
"Confidence is a plant of slow growth."
...
"How did I let you talk me into this?" Iruka mumbled more to himself than his lover as they walked through a neighboring village some time later. "I don't care what happens in Icha Icha, you're never getting me into a skirt," he added.
Kakashi merely snickered in response, tugging Iruka along. He had convinced him to go to a sex shop. Yep. A sex shop, the closest one being in a village a few hours away. They were in a more remote part of town when Kakashi paused.
"There it is," he said eagerly.
Iruka pulled him behind the nearest building. "Fine… Let's put our disguises up."
Kakashi grinned as they both disappeared into clouds of smoke. Iruka came out looking like a young man with short brown hair and a scar free face. Nothing unusual.
"K-Kakashi! What the hell?!" He sputtered when the smoke cleared.
Kakashi had transformed himself into a girl with long silver hair, dressed in a mini skirt. He did a little spin and gave him his most innocent smile as he tugged his mask off.
"What? You don't like it?" He asked in a girl's voice.
Iruka snorted, unsure whether to laugh, be angry, or embarrassed. He opted for just shaking his head and taking a hold of Kakashi's now slender hand. He marched them up to the doors, but then faltered. He had never been to one of these places before. Kakashi nudged him forward and he pushed through the door. He could feel his cheeks burning as he looked around, barely managing to speak to the worker that greeted them. The place was small, but jam packed with every kind of dirty toy he could imagine and ones he had certainly never even heard of.
Where do I start?
Kakashi grabbed a little shopping basket and immediately started walking through the shop with no hesitation, so Iruka stumbled after him. "Come on, Akuri-kun. We have lots of shopping to do~" He cooed in the same feminine voice.
Iruka slumped.
Akuri? Oh, geez. Couldn't he come up with something better than that?
"You can't go wrong with more lube," Kakashi hummed as they stepped up to a huge display of different flavors and colors. "You like raspberry, don't you, honey?"
Iruka tried not to cringe. "Y-Yeah, sure."
"Too bad they don't have eggplant flavored…" Kakashi muttered as he picked out several bottles he deemed useful and moved further into the store.
"We definitely need one of these," Kakashi said, grabbing a vibrator with a little string attached to it.
"Kaka-"
"Kashika-chan," he corrected him, eyes sparkling.
Iruka resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Kakashi was clearly having quite a bit of fun with this. He shook his head and continued to follow him. Kakashi suddenly gave a feminine gasp and pulled Iruka along quickly.
"Ne, Ne, Akuri-kun, can we get these?" He asked, turning to Iruka and batting his long eyelashes.
"There's no way I'm letting you tie me up!" He hissed as he saw the handcuffs he was pointing at.
Kakashi slumped a little and grew flustered, having hoped they could just grab some without explanation. "N-No. They're for me…" He said quietly, sounding more like himself.
I did a lot of thinking after that time I had you get rough with me and it's embarrassing some of the things I've come to realize about myself…
Iruka's eyes widened. "You want me to… tie you up?"
The disguise couldn't hide the way Kakashi's cheeks turned bright red. "Y-Yes…"
Iruka couldn't help grinning. "You're willing to give up that much control?" He asked, his cock twitching at the idea of it.
Kakashi put a hand over 'her' face. "O-Only with you…" He said softly. "So can we…?"
"Of course," Iruka said, deciding not to tease him about this, seeing how embarrassed and distressed he looked, even with the disguise up. Though he made a mental note to check into it later. "Which ones?"
Kakashi gave a quiet sigh of relief. "Um… Which ever ones are the strongest would probably be best…"
They picked out a pair and moved on to cock rings.
"Now you won't be able to cum until I say~," Kakashi said, back to the feminine voice, and seeming much more excited again.
"Ah. Wonderful…" Iruka muttered, not happy at all with the idea.
They kept looking around, with Iruka wary of anything Kakashi was putting in their basket.
"How about-" Kakashi began.
"I said no sex swing," Iruka snapped and Kakashi whined.
"Wait. What are these for?" He wondered as he came up to a display of feathers.
Kakashi's eyes widened and he quickly started tugging at Iruka's hand. "That's nothing-"
"Erotic tickling?" Iruka read aloud. "Is that really a thing?"
"Not a good thing," Kakashi said, still trying to pull him away.
Iruka tapped his chin thoughtfully, refusing to budge. "We should get one," he said.
"No!" Kakashi squeaked.
Iruka smirked. "Why not? You're the perfect person to try it out on."
Kakashi shook 'her' head frantically. "I-I'm not! It's really-"
"It's decided," Iruka said happily. "We're definitely getting one."
He picked out a large white feather and Kakashi recoiled.
"Relax," Iruka laughed. "It hasn't even been unwrapped yet."
Kakashi still shuffled away from him with a watchful eye. "Akuri-kun is cruel," he said pouting.
Iruka snorted. "Is there anything else you wanted?" He asked. "Everyone's already going to think we're huge perverts."
"One thing," Kakashi said, waiting for the feather to be put safely into the basket before venturing to the back of the store. "And there are plenty more things here that are much kinkier than what we have."
Iruka glanced around at all the different sex toys as they walked and silently agreed.
"Which do you think?" Kakashi asked him.
Iruka's eyes widened as they stood before a wall covered in fucking dildos. "Holy… There are so many…"
Kakashi snickered.
"Shouldn't you choose, anyway?" Iruka said. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"No. This is mainly for you," he said. "For when I'm gone for so long."
"But…"
"Don't you recall the last month long mission I had?" He asked.
Iruka frowned. "I could hardly forget."
Kakashi smirked. "You were quite deprived without me, remember? You came within the first five minutes of me getting home."
"S-Shut up!" Iruka hissed. "You were touching my cock and-"
He blushed, remembering. Kakashi had come home, pinned him against the wall, stuck a hand down his pants, and proceeded to kiss him like his life depended on it. What other reaction was there?!
"-And you were pretty deprived too!" He reminded him. "It didn't take you long to cum either! You were humping my leg like a dog."
Kakashi snickered sheepishly. "I'm not saying it was a bad thing," he shrugged. "It's just the idea of you using one of these while I'm gone is really, really hot."
Iruka blushed even more and turned towards the wall of absurdities. "F-Fine… I'd prefer one about your size…"
Kakashi grinned as they looked, eventually settling on one.
"What about…I mean…" Iruka began uncertainly. "Do you want…?"
Kakashi quickly reached for one. "This one," he said. "It looks the most like yours."
Iruka sputtered quietly. "Accept mine's not purple…"
Kakashi grinned even more. "So, is there anything else?" He asked.
"N-No. Definitely not," Iruka said. "We have plenty of stuff to try already."
"Okay. We can always come back."
"Not anytime soon!" He hissed.
"Aww, Akuri-kun…"
They made it back to the village in the evening after eating dinner on the way, disguises gone.
"You know, you make a really cute girl," Iruka said as they went through the gates.
Kakashi started laughing, the outburst loud enough to turn a few heads. It was a rare thing to actually hear the Copy Ninja express any emotions, let alone laugh. People were actually starring at him.
"I copied Naruto's sexy jutsu," he admitted. "I saw him trying to use it on you after school."
Iruka cringed.
Thankfully I was ready for it that time!
"Yo, Iruka!" Someone called.
They looked up to see Kotetsu and Izumo at the guard stand.
"Hey guys," Iruka said as they approached.
"Hello, Kakashi-san," Izumo said.
"Ah, domo."
"What's in the bag?" Kotetsu asked.
They both froze, Kakashi's hand tightening on the black bag.
"Um, chocolate," Kakashi said without thinking.
Iruka's eyes widened.
No!
"But I thought you didn't like-" Kotetsu began.
"We- We have to go!" Iruka said quickly, starting to push Kakashi away from them. "Uh, Kakashi has a mission!"
Kotetsu and Izumo watched them with raised eyebrows, seeing how flustered the couple looked.
"Okay… See you later," Izumo said.
Kotetsu was trying really hard not to laugh.
"Those liars," Izumo mumbled as they retreated. "Like we don't know where that bag came from…"
"Pfft- Hahaha!"
...
"They're laughing at us…"
"Chocolate?" Iruka hissed. "That's the best you could come up with?!"
Kakashi gritted his teeth beneath his mask in embarrassment. "How was I supposed to know you told them I didn't like it?"
"It just came up the other day," Iruka defended, shaking his head. "They were trying to make me eat brownies, so I told them why I couldn't."
They hurried the rest of the way back to Iruka's apartment; afraid of running into anyone else they knew.
Please let none of my students see me right now!
They were barely inside the door when they heard tapping on the window. Kakashi frowned and went to slide it open. Iruka sighed upon seeing the ANBU member sitting there.
"Hello, Iruka," the masked man said with a little wave.
"Um, h-hi," he said uncertainly. None of the ANBU had spoken to him directly before, accept for their leader on those two past occasions.
Kakashi shoved at the man's head. "Don't talk to him," he growled. "What do you want?"
Genma snickered. "Oh, come on. At least introduce us."
"He's not allowed to know who you are, you fucking-"
"I knowww," Genma sighed dramatically. "You could tell him my code name."
Kakashi turned back to look at Iruka who shrugged at him. He sighed.
"Fine. This is Sutā," he said briskly. "Now-"
"It's nice to finally officially meet you, Iruka," Genma said, smirking beneath his mask. "I can't believe you're still putting up with this guy. I mean, how long has it been? A year now-?"
"What are you here for?" Kakashi demanded, ready to push the other ANBU from the tree he was crouching in.
"A mission of course," Genma said smoothly. "We need to meet by the gates in an hour."
"How long will this take?"
Genma shrugged. "Few weeks probably."
Kakashi groaned.
"See ya," Genma said, about to hop down. "Don't be late," he added.
Kakashi all but slammed the window shut. He turned back scowling as he tugged his mask down.
"How can I concentrate on a mission right now when we have all this new stuff to use?" He grumbled. "My brain is all fuzzy."
Iruka blushed and wrapped his arms around his annoyed lover. "We'll make time for all of it when you get back," he reassured him.
Kakashi huffed. "I wanted to see you use 'Kashi Jr.' before I left. I need the image in my head."
"You named the thing already?" Iruka deadpanned.
Kakashi kissed his neck. "I figured it was better than dildo," he sniggered. "You hate even saying that word."
"Hn," Iruka grunted in agreement.
"Mine will be Ruka-chan," he beamed.
"Right… Well, you have an hour…" Iruka couldn't believe he was saying this. "I could, you know…"
Kakashi gave him a big grin. "You'll let me watch?"
Iruka could feel his cheeks burning. "Y-Yeah," he said.
Wahhhh! What am I thinking?! Letting him watch me masturbate with that thing?!
His cock seemed to twitch at the idea.
Oh, god. I'm turning into a pervert too, aren't I?!
Kakashi kissed him. "You're the best and I love you," he said, grabbing the bag and leading him down the hall.
"Wait," Iruka said. "Has it been a year already?"
Kakashi paused to think, his heart fluttering. "I don't remember the date of when we officially got together," he admitted.
Iruka winced. "I don't either…"
Kakashi laughed.
"It was in March wasn't it?" Iruka said.
"Yeah…" Kakashi said slowly, racking his brain for information. "Yeah! It was."
"It's April now… -Ah! W-We missed it!"
They both couldn't help laughing.
"Well, whatever," Iruka giggled and kissed him. "I love you."
Kakashi grinned. "I love you too. I'll take you on a date when I get back. Now come on~"
…
Iruka took a shaky breath after they were all set up. He was naked and laying in bed, lube and 'Kashi Jr.' at the ready. Kakashi sat shirtless at the foot of the bed.
"S-Should I start?" He asked nervously.
How do I even begin?!
Kakashi gave him a quick nod, his Sharingan open, ready to memorize his every move. Iruka took another breath.
Here we go.
He let a hand slide down his chest to circle a nipple. He gently played with each one in turn, his back arching slightly into his own touch. Kakashi wasn't complaining about his actions, so he continued. His hand slid down his flat stomach to run through the hair at the base of his cock, his hips shifting at the contact. He took a hold of his awakening cock with a breathy gasp and moved his hand slowly up and down. His hips bucked upward as he rubbed circles with his thumb over the head of his cock, shuddering as he rubbed at the slit. He could already feel pre-cum dripping forth and tightened his grip as he moved his hand back down the shaft.
His legs spread subconsciously, as if expecting Kakashi to move between them. He groaned quietly as he reached for the lube, chancing a quick peek at his lover. He felt his body heating up at the way Kakashi was watching him so intently. Iruka didn't get many opportunities to see the Sharingan, since it was usually closed, but damn was it hot. It darted around some, taking note of every move he made and he could feel himself shivering. He lubed up his fingers and slowly moved them down between his legs. He lifted his hips slightly as he slipped the first finger in.
"Kakashi," he said breathily.
Kakashi gripped the sheets, his jaw tight. It was all he could do to keep himself still. Iruka slid the finger in and out, soon adding a second finger and then a third, his legs spreading further as he tried to get deeper. He let out a frustrated sound.
"I miss your fingers," he half whined. "They can always reach so much further than mine."
Kakashi let out a choked sound, his cock straining against his pants. Iruka watched him with hazy eyes, hips bucking, wanting friction. He moaned as he gripped his cock with the other hand and squeezed.
"Kakashi," he called and Kakashi's eyes quickly shot up to meet his. "How… How can you just watch?" He asked, now panting. "I want- ahhh… to see you t-touch yourself."
Kakashi groaned and started palming his erection through his pants, keeping his eyes on his lover. Iruka seemed pleased by the action, both his hands starting to work himself faster. His cock was throbbing, but he knew his fingers would never be enough. He slid them free and reached for 'Kashi Jr.' with a shaky hand.
I can't believe I'm doing this!
He coated the blue toy with lube and glanced towards Kakashi as he was unzipping his pants and pulling his own cock out. His eyes never left Iruka's body and Iruka could feel his own cock twitch. He placed 'Kashi Jr.' at his entrance and started pushing it in. His eyes widened at the strange feeling and he could hear Kakashi hiss in pleasure.
He took several deep breaths when he had the toy all the way inside him. He could feel his legs quivering as his body tried to adjust. He glanced at his lover again, feeling his cock throb at the way he was looking at him. He moaned quietly and Kakashi's breath hitched as he slowly pumped himself. He looked completely mesmerized with Iruka's actions and it made him suddenly feel oddly powerful. The feeling was probably more satisfying than it had any right to be, but he wasn't used to so much attention.
He took another breath as he slowly started moving the dildo in and out, letting out a few moans as he went. The toy was certainly nothing like Kakashi's hot, erection inside him, but it was still pleasurable. His toes curled as he bumped his prostate. He aimed for that spot as he moved his hand faster and found himself wanting more.
Wait… It has a vibrator too.
He reached down to click it on and Kakashi's eyes widened as Iruka cried out loudly at the sudden feeling. His back arched and his legs clamped shut around his arm.
"Oh, god," he gasped. He could feel his passage spasming under the new sensation. He had never felt anything like this before.
Kakashi found himself scooting closer to his lover, eager for a closer look. His cock was pulsing excitedly in his hand. Iruka's body shivered uncontrollably and it was a few minutes before he could calm himself enough to start moving the toy in and out. He found himself whimpering as it made contact with his prostate, nearly cumming on the spot.
"Ah- hah, Kakashi," he moaned, reaching down to touch his cock again.
Kakashi groaned in return, his hand stroking his own cock faster. Iruka's fingers slid lightly over himself, knowing he was close.
"Nngh- Kakashi," he panted. "I'm gonna cum."
Kakashi bit his lip, trying to hold back. Iruka gave himself a few easy pumps and that was all it took to send him over the edge.
"Kakashi!" He cried, spilling out over himself. Even more moans escaped him as the vibrator continued to tease his now overly sensitive insides. "Ah! Ah! Fuck-" It was too much. He yanked the dildo free, though his body protested the sudden emptiness and he turned it off.
He slumped weakly against the bed and turned to Kakashi who was panting heavily, having just cum himself. Iruka ran his fingers through the cooling mess on his own chest and abdomen, feeling drained.
"I wish you could see yourself right now," Kakashi said, voice a little hoarse as he removed his now soiled pants and tossed them to the floor. "You're so fucking sexy."
Iruka could feel his cheeks burn and he shook his head.
"I'm serious," Kakashi said, crawling closer. "I just came all over my pants from watching you."
Iruka smiled slightly as he pulled him down for a brief, heated kiss. Kakashi closed his Sharingan and leaned down to lick the mess off of Iruka's body. He shuddered under his tongue, whining quietly.
"Thanks for letting me watch," Kakashi said tapping at his closed eye with a grin and sucking at Iruka's dirtied fingers.
"I can't believe I just did that," Iruka said, starting to feel quite mortified.
"It was amazing," Kakashi assured, climbing over him. "Though I still really want to fuck you."
Iruka gave a breathy laugh. "Good, 'cause I still want you inside," he said. "'Kashi Jr.' did a great job, but he's just not the same as you."
Kakashi gave a little growl and pressed their lips together, his cock rubbing at his entrance. Iruka moaned and had to resist the urge to pull him closer.
"But," he said, panting. "As much as I want your throbbing hot cock inside me, you have a mission you're supposed to be getting ready for. You can't be late."
Kakashi groaned before giving a little whimper. "How can I leave you when you're saying and doing such dirty stuff?"
"Hmm," Iruka hummed, glancing up at the clock. "You need to get cleaned up. I suppose if we hurry we could do it in the shower…"
Kakashi scrambled up, nearly falling over as they hurried to the bathroom. They turned the water on and Kakashi soon had his lover pressed against the shower wall. They kissed fiercely, Iruka's hands tugging at his hair. Kakashi had to pull back for air and he flipped Iruka around, rubbing his cock against his opening.
"Can I…?" He asked, gruffly.
"Yes," Iruka panted. "Do it hard."
Kakashi growled as he entered him, Iruka nearly screaming. Kakashi gripped his hips tightly and started an even, harsh pace. Iruka gasped and moaned against the onslaught of pain and pleasure, the pleasure being much more prominent since 'Kashi Jr.' had already stretched him.
"Ahh! Ah, Kakashi!" He cried. "You feel so much better than it does!"
Kakashi let out a snarl against the back of his neck and bit harshly into his skin. His thrusts sped up, feeling himself on edge. He reached around to pump Iruka's cock, knowing he wasn't going to have much time to get all of his weapons together if they didn't hurry.
"Fuck, fuck," he hissed, the coil in his abdomen about to spring.
"Nngh! Kakashi! Ah- hah- ah! Kakashi!" Iruka yelled, as he came.
"Iruka!" Kakashi cried as he came soon after.
They both slumped forward, their breaths coming out in wheezy gasps. Kakashi had to hold his lover up as his knees buckled. He nuzzled against the back of Iruka's neck, his hands running over his wet skin.
"Kakashi," Iruka whimpered and shuddered. "You're going to get me hard again."
Kakashi slid out with a sound between a groan and a whine. Iruka turned on shaky legs and pushed Kakashi gently back into the spray.
"Let's get you clean," he said.
Kakashi shivered as Iruka ran soap over his body while he washed his hair.
"Fuck, Iruka," he grunted as he brushed over his nipples. "You're going to get me going again too."
"Ah, sorry," Iruka said. "Who knew going to a sex shop would get us both so riled up?"
Kakashi groaned. "Who knew I would be going on a mission right now? I'm seriously thinking of quitting."
Iruka smiled. "Sex isn't a good reason for quitting," he said.
The idea of him leaving the ANBU makes me happy… But I can't be selfish!
"Che. It's the best reason," Kakashi grumbled, as he rinsed his hair.
"You should hurry back though," Iruka said, reaching for his nipples again. "I haven't topped in a while and I really want to play with you."
Kakashi shuddered under his touch. "Nngh… O-Okay," he said. "Anything you want since you've gotten so good at it."
Iruka grinned and leaned down to suck on his nipple.
"Ah- Wait. No- S-Stop," he whimpered. "Fuck!"
Iruka pulled back with a snicker. "Get out of the shower then," he said. "You're clean."
Kakashi groaned again and slipped out, leaving Iruka alone to clean himself up. He dressed and scrambled about to get all of his stuff together, thankful that he had been leaving so many things over at Iruka's place all this time. He wouldn't even need to go home. He sheathed his sword against his back and yanked his boots on.
Iruka slipped on a new pair of boxers when he was done washing and went to the living room to watch his lover shoving his gear on. Kakashi went over to Iruka when he was finished and gripped his waist tightly, pulling him close. He rested their foreheads together.
"I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, reaching back to do a quick healing jutsu on the huge bite he had left on Iruka's neck.
Iruka smiled and kissed him. "Don't be too reckless," he said, placing another kiss over his scarred eye. "And when you're in a safe place make sure you remember me and 'Kashi Jr.'"
Kakashi growled. "I won't forget," he said, pulling back. "I'm going to have a damn hard-on in front of my team."
Iruka snorted. "Don't forget one of your books too, pervert."
Kakashi's eye widened in realization and he dashed to grab his most current Icha Icha. "You're a life saver, Iruka," he said and kissed him firmly. "I love you."
"I love you too," he said.
Kakashi gave him one last grin before pulling his mask up, then his ANBU mask on over it, and leaving. Iruka slumped against the kitchen chair with a heavy sigh. His backside was already starting to hurt.
Two weeks…
Iruka lay back against the couch reading one of Kakashi's Icha Icha's, absently fingering at the bruises he had left behind on his hips.
What's this?
He turned to a marked chapter curiously. Kakashi had already finished reading this one, so there shouldn't be any marked places. He started reading and his cheeks flushed bright red. It was a sex scene. Nothing unusual about that, but this one was filled with dirty talk. He paused at a particularly raunchy line.
The hell? Who… Who would say something like that?!
He felt himself squirm a bit.
Did Kakashi purposely mark this page? Does he like dirty talk?
He felt his cock twitch at the idea of it.
Maybe I'll have to test it out when he gets back…
Oh, man… The next chapter is going to be dirty as hell.
And thanks for the reviews!