Over the years, my wheelchair had created a few paths over the lands and it made it a lot easier than off-roading on grass. I followed the path Edward would take me up every week, and it was certainly a struggle, but I managed to get much further before I began to tire. Over the years, my muscles had build well in my arms and I could go much further, and faster, that I had originally hoped.
In the last few metres, it was difficult, but I eventually reached the warn-out part of grass that Edward usually placed me in. Wiping the sheen of sweat from my brow, I placed the canvas on my lap and removed my paints from their box. I couldn't help running my fingers over the carved letters again. Smiling to myself, I began working.
Abaccus was grazing in the pen, which now had a gate built into it, and I took him as my inspiration, as I had as a child. He didn't come to me, which I liked. He was always best to paint when he was natural, unassuming of the world around him. I drew his long legs and his strong body, making sure to keep his markings clearly visible as I worked. I hummed as I worked. It was a tuneless noise, but it seemed to compliment my brush strokes.
The amount of time I painted, I wasn't sure, but the sun was still high in the sky when I finished…looking at it, I felt a swell of pride that I had not lost the knack for colours.
Setting it down beside me, on the grass, I sat back in my chair to enjoy the warmth of the sun for a moment. I was very rarely alone these days, what with Mrs Cove ensuring that I had a chaperone at all times. Not that it mattered much; I was not what anyone would call marriage material. I had my own mind, and I was highly educated; that alone would drive many a man off…and it had, despite my father's best efforts.
Be that as it may, I saw no sense in pursuing a love that didn't exist. In my books, the men were handsome and strong, yes, but they were also kind and sweet…they would give their last mouthful of food to anyone in need. They would lay down their life for their country, for their friends and their family…for their lady. I smiled at the thought of such a love, it did not exist, and that was why I would not marry.
Eventually, yes, my father would probably lose his temper. I was already twenty with no children, not even a husband…I was beginning to lose my prime and it wasn't appropriate. I couldn't have cared less; the world I lived in was mine and it took me as I was. As usual, I was in a world of my own when I felt someone nuzzle in my pocket and then I heard the crunching of munching.
I chuckled as I opened my eyes, seeing Abaccus's wide, beautiful eyes looking at me guiltily. He lifted his nose to my face and left a lovely wet stain in my hair. I let out a laugh and gave him the attention he desired. Abaccus had remained my friend for all these years, and I didn't see a day coming where we would part ways for good. He was a solid anchor for me, the only constant in an ever-changing world. God knows I needed it, what with the War going on.
The War had taken its toll on everyone. Where the original few years had been less physical – more of a political battle and hushed arguments – it had evolved into something more just before Renee was born. I furrowed my brow thinking of all that had changed…of all the people who had been drafted. So many men had left for the War, thankfully I had not personally known anyone that perished, but the list of fatalities always drew my attention in the newspapers. The rationing really was neither here nor there when what we had was sent to those defending us at home. In an ideal world, there would be no war, and no brother's fighting brother's, but this world was twisted and dark in places…I had known that for some time now.
Sighing, I turned my attention to Abaccus.
"So, you've finally noticed me, have you?" I said, pulling on his reigns to hold him close to me as I stroked his face as I thought. He seemed rather content with my affection and didn't seem to mind.
I often talked to Abaccus about what was going on in my mind, and sometimes it felt like he was speaking back to me…though I knew it to be an absurd notion. He seemed to be the only one, beside Alice and Edward, who I could really talk to and felt like I was being listened to at the same time. Renee was too young to understand the issues I had in my life, they were adult…and Abaccus was that now. At seven years old, he was the perfect stallion and would often bother the mares in the stables, should Edward ride him around the grounds.
"Do you wish to find love?" I asked him, letting go of the reigns. He stayed where he was, though, enjoying the feel of my hands on his face. "Would you say it exists? The kind people write about?" I asked him.
Did we ever really find love, or did it find us? Sure, there was the rare love that Edward and Alice shared…and they had their fairytale happily ever after playing out right in front of me. I watched it with a proud, yet heavy, heart. Though I would never speak of it to anyone. Edward would do anything for Alice, and I could see the devotion she had for him. It was their love that reassured my faith in the world and its people.
An immeasurable amount of time passed where I talked to Abaccus, and it jolted me slightly when he pulled away and whinnied. I chuckled at myself, clutching my chest where my heart was pounding.
"You scared me." I told him, shaking my head. "No more apples for you, the sugar must be getting to you." I sighed, looking down at my painting of him. It was fully dried now and I was probably better off heading back soon, as travelling under my own steam was somewhat slower than being pushed…it helped that it was a slight decline, though.
Loading up my lap, I turned my chair – with a little difficulty – to face the house again. I couldn't see it, but I knew where I was going…I knew these fields like the back of my hand. As I turned, however, I spotted Abaccus walking down the road. I shook my head, where was he going? Naughty horse.
I lifted my fingers to my mouth, despite the paint on them, and whistled to him. He didn't come back, though, and I furrowed my brow. Strange. Abaccus rarely ignored me anymore and it confused me that he did so now...there were no distractions about the field today.
"Abaccus!" I called him, clicking my tongue and clapping my hands. Once again, he ignored me. "Silly beast." I muttered under my breath as I rolled my eyes, gripping the wheels with each of my hands and pushing myself forwards. He had disappeared over the hill now, and it made me uncomfortable. You are in big trouble, Mr.
As I rolled, however, he came into view and I spotted someone standing with him, holding the reigns. I let out a sigh of relief and picked up the pace, calling out.
"Thank you, I apologise…he wouldn't come when called!" I said, raising my voice so that the gentleman could hear me. It was difficult, considering I was slightly out of breath from pushing the chair as fast as I had. I couldn't see his top half, but he looked to be wearing military boots and trousers.
Strange…why would an Officer be here?
WHO COULD IT BE? Emmett, perhaps?