CHAPTER 21: Alice In Wonderland

"A sleepover."

"A sleepover?"

"Yes. A sleepover."

Alice looked at me expectantly.

"But, what about, I mean, I don't think Charlie will go for that knowing Edward will be there."

"But Edward won't be there."

Alice spoke in a matter-of-fact voice that made me laugh.

"And where will Edward be?"

I tried to match Alice's enthusiasm in my tone with my playful question, but I knew I didn't quite hit the mark. Her excitement was hard to compete with.

But, I did have some excitement of my own building for other reasons. My Junior year of high school was coming to an end and I couldn't believe how few days we actually had left before our summer break started. Alice was already in full celebration mode it seemed and was gearing up for what she called a weekend of fun.

Alice answered my question about Edward by rolling her eyes at me and tilting her head toward the end of the hall. My gaze followed the direction of her head and I saw Edward's copper hair above the other students moving toward us. Warmth spread through my entire insides, and I had to wonder if that would ever stop when my body was expecting Edward's proximity, but I had a sneaky suspicion (and complete hope) that it never would.

It had been almost a month since our perfect day at the meadow. Since that day, Edward and I were closer than ever. I didn't have to be telepathic to read his emotions and the majority of his thoughts, despite his remarkable ability to keep his face straight and free of expression. And although I knew Edward's mind-reading didn't work on me, he demonstrated quite a proficiency in understanding how I felt under most circumstances. Of course, that might have something to do with our mutual overwhelming happiness with each other. But even so, our bond had become so strong that it was hard for me to imagine my life before him. It wasn't until this week that I fully understood the expression better half. While I didn't necessarily agree with that idea completely, I did feel that Edward was my other half, and he certainly brought out the best in me. So, sure, better half would work.

Speaking of my better half, Edward wound his way through the students with ease and walked up right next to Alice. I took in a deep breath letting my gaze linger on his body before meeting his eyes, knowing as soon as I did my eyes would get lost there. Saying Edward looked dapper would be an understatement, but that was the best word for it. Today he was wearing dark jeans and a crisp white button-down. His sleeves were cuffed up and he had his hands tucked down into his jeans pockets, looking absolutely irresistible I might add.

"Someone said my name."

His eyes were twinkling at me as he crinkled his face into a mischievous smile. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and before I could take a breath he had his hands wrapped around me and had me pulled into a bear hug.

He whispered a soft, "I've missed you" in my ear as I hugged him tightly back. His lips danced like feathers on my ear lobe before landing on my lips ever so sweetly. I looked up at him and gave him my own megawatt smile.

"I've missed you too." And it wasn't a lie. I loved him too much to feel ridiculous for telling him I missed him after I just saw him the night before. Besides, he said he felt the same, so what was there to be embarrassed about?

"Riiiiight. Okie dokie. Could you two tear yourselves away from each other for one minute and bring the focus back to what I was saying?"

I could hear Alice's tapping foot on the school's terrazo floor and quickly stole a glance in her direction. If I didn't know her at all, I would have immediately interpreted her body language as being highly annoyed, but if you took just a second to look more closely, you could see the happiness lined in her eyes. I knew Alice had been an early champion of mine and I felt an immense sense of gratitude toward her that quickly reminded me why I was looking at her to begin with.

"So, Alice has hunted me down before first period to tell me that my presence is required at the Cullen home for a sleepover tonight. And, from what I'm guessing, it's a girls sleepover that you will not be present for."

I poked him playfully in the chest to make my point.

"No I will not."

Edward sounded more relieved than anything else as his answer was combined with a soft chuckle and a shake of his head. I had to wonder what he was hearing in Alice's head about what the night's agenda was calling for to warrant that reaction.

"So where will you be?"

"Emmett, Carlisle, and I will be going out for a nice long hike followed by a night of camping. But, I'll be there when you wake up in the morning."

Hiking was the word for hunting when speaking in range of human ears. I tried to not show any disappointment. I mean, I really tried. An evening without Edward could still be fun, don't get me wrong, but being at his house for an entire night without him seemed unfair. I planted a wide smile on my face, concentrating on the idea of at least waking up in the same house as Edward, which was definitely worth smiling about.

Edward's body softly rippled as he shook his head in silent laughter, letting me know I failed at hiding my true emotion. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and walked with me down the hall toward my first class. Edward and I had different first periods, but his class wasn't far, and I knew he'd have no problem getting to his class in time. I enjoyed every single day that I could just walk with him like this during brief moments at school. It felt so nice, and I sometimes had the urge to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't in a dream. And to be quite honest, I was actually somewhat disappointed that we were about to run out of these days since school was almost over. But I remained optimistic that I would still get to see Edward just about every day over the summer. At least, I hoped.

We were at my classroom door when he leaned in for a light kiss on my cheek, squeezed my hand, and then told me he'd see me at lunch.

I went to class not being able to concentrate. What does a sleepover with Alice involve anyway?

….

Honestly, with so few days left in the school year, it was remarkable that teachers thought us students had the capacity for the amount of concentration required - but I was oddly thankful for the two quizzes, a test, and a final group project to keep my mind from thinking too hard about the upcoming night's activities. Now that it was almost time for Alice to pick me up, I started to get a little more anxious.

It wasn't that I would be in a house of vampires for an entire night that had me on edge. To be truthful, it hadn't even occurred to me to care about that. I had been over to Edward's house a few times since our day in the meadow, and it was too beautiful of a home to not feel completely comfortable in, no matter who was inside. But what wasmaking me anxious was knowing they didn't sleep. I'd never been invited to a sleepover when I lived in Phoenix, but I heard the stories. Wasn't the first person asleep usually tortured in some way? I had visions of Alice and Rosalie dipping my hand in warm water and freezing my underwear when a knock brought me back to the present.

Alice had assured me that Esme already got the requisite okay from Charlie - apparently she had made a phone call to the station while we were all at school. A message left for me on the answering machine from Charlie confirmed this. I knew he had planned on working late tonight and I also knew he would welcome the idea of me spending time with friends, but I felt oddly relieved that he wasn't here to watch me carry an overnight bag, a pillow, and a blanket out the door. I felt like a twelve year old. What high schoolers had sleepovers, anyway?

I opened the door to my very excited and smiley friend. Alice grabbed my stuff from my arms in one fluid motion and began chastising me for the contents she was now holding.

"Bella, honestly, do you think I would have invited you over for a sleepover if I didn't have the necessary equipment for you to actually sleep?"

"If by 'equipment' you mean blankets and pillows - well, why would I assume that you guys have those?"

Alice rolled her eyes at me and then started laughing.

"Well, what's funny about that?" I asked as we got into her car.

I didn't know what I was missing, but Alice seemed to think it would've been obvious.

She snickered for a second more before pulling herself together and answering the question.

"Well, Edward might not have ever had any use for a bed, but the rest of us certainly have."

"Oh. Oh."

It didn't take long for Alice's words to sink in. Of course, how could I have been so clueless? They were all coupled except Edward. But, I thought back to the times I've been over to their house. I didn't remember seeing a bed in her room the few times I'd been in it.

Before I had a chance to speak, Alice answered my question.

"Oh, that's because we just thought they took up too much space in our rooms, so Rosalie and I made Emmett and Jasper get beds in theirs instead. Besides, it just makes more sense - their rooms are on opposite sides of the house while me and Rosalie share a wall. Of course, we don't need a bed, and we've gone through more than I can count, but beds are still nice for snuggling. Even vampires like to snuggle."

She managed to answer about three of my unspoken questions andover-share in one breath.

"Alice, can you do me a favor? I know you can see or hear what I'm about to do or say, but can you try to not answer a question until I've had the chance to actually vocalize it?"

I smiled at her to let her know I wasn't annoyed, because I honestly wasn't, but I just wanted to make sure she didn't get into a habit of answering questions I hadn't planned on actually asking. That had the potential for serious embarrassment, depending on what was going through my head at any given time, especially if we had an audience.

"Oh! Sorry, I do have a habit of doing that with my family. I just forget sometimes. But if it makes you feel better, I can only see you asking something once you decide to actually ask it. It's not like I can see or hear everything in your head like some people in our family can. Although, I guess you are the one person in the family that doesn't work for, so I'm the one at an advantage in your case."

Before I had a chance to linger on her including me as part of her family, she followed it up with a quick wink and an even quicker, "I'll try to be more conscious of it though. Promise."

Alice's energy had me at ease in a matter of seconds and her display of playful rivalry with Edward had me laughing. I told her she was just too much as we pulled into the Cullen driveway.

…

"I feel like a Barbie doll."

My voice came out whiny and it was Rosalie that answered me first, "Well, what did you expect? How often do you think we get to play 'dress up the human', anyway?"

I laughed, and since my shaking caused Rosalie to skim the lipstick across my cheek - resulting in her giving me quite the angry pout - I just laughed even harder.

"Aren't you a vampire with, like, amazing reflexes? Shouldn't you be able to put lipstick on me without any problem even if I'm talking, laughing, walking, dancing? I just thought that was something y'all could do."

Rosalie's pout turned up into a smirk instantly. "Don't test me, Isabella. Or I'll feel obligated to show you just what my reflexes are capable of."

Rosalie started opening the eye make up and while still smiling, I closed my eyes and let her do her thing while Alice was behind me still working on my hair.

The night had so far been pretty fun. I was a little anxious about coming partly because of Rosalie. Sure, she had been a lot easier to be around since the events after that awful night at the dance. But in the back of my mind, I knew Rosalie still had reservations about my being with Edward. Or, at least I thought she had. She wasn't showing any reservations about me being here tonight, in fact, she was just as easy to be around as Alice was. And that was saying something.

Alice of course had the night's activities planned out in full detail. We started the night by having a movie marathon of three chick flicks - Alice had us each pick out one. Alice chose Grease, Rosalie's movie was Some Kind of Wonderful and mine was Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. During our "intermission" between the last two movies, Esme insisted that Alice allow me to actually eat a meal. I'm not sure what I had been expecting - maybe a frozen dinner they picked up for me - but I was incredibly surprised and appreciative that Esme had taken the time to actually make a delicious chicken and mushroom pasta dish for me, and said I could take the leftovers home with me for dinner with Charlie one night.

It was after midnight when the last movie finished. Because the last movie was mine and it was a movie that had a lot of dancing in it, it seemed a natural progression for us to turn the living room into a dance club. Alice was the perfect DJ, and while the three of us all had fun shaking it, it was hard not to envy Rosalie's ability to move. I enjoyed dancing when heels or an audience weren't involved, but I wished I had half the rhythm of Rosalie so I could enjoy dancing even more. The two of them could have kept going all night, but around 2 a.m. I was hiding yawns as best as I could from them. That's when Alice decided it was time to play dress up the human.

I tried to protest - pointing out that Alice already had this opportunity a couple of months ago, but she wouldn't take no for an answer reminding me that Rosalie wasn't there to join in the fun.

Rosalie was just finishing up the last touches with my eyes when I felt the stinging heat of the curling iron on my head, "Ouch! Alice - the iron!"

"Sorry!" She smiled sheepishly at my reflection as my eyes flew open.

I gave her a quick roll of my eyes with a smile to let her know it was fine. I had done that to myself plenty of times before, and it was a burning pain that thankfully went away as soon as you moved the heat source.

Alice released the last strip of hair from the iron and let the curl naturally fall by my face. With a quick "ta-da!" she gave me a hand held mirror so I could see the finished product from all angles. I had to admit, they did a great job. Rosalie fixed the lipstick mistake on my cheek thank goodness, and I was pleasantly surprised to really like what they did. Despite feeling like Rosalie had spent hours on my face, it didn't actually look like I had a lot of make up on. And Alice gave my hair so much body with loose curls cascading down my back and more curls spilling over my shoulders to frame my face in the front. I felt beautiful. As soon as I told them as much Alice decided it was time to move on to her next planned activity.

"Time for 20 Questions!"

Oh no.

Rosalie and I exchanged a look and I wondered if she was feeling as uneasy about this game as I was.

"Alice - ummm, why don't we play another game? Like a board game or something? Do you guys have Life? Or Monopoly? Oooh! What about Scattegories?"

I was feeling a little desperate. It's not that I didn't want to dig deeper into their lives, I just knew from playing my own game of 20 Questions with Edward on a few different occasions that it could become heavier than what you want for almost four o'clock in the morning.

But since neither Alice or Rosalie were showing any signs of boredom or wear, I refused to ask to be allowed to go to sleep. I was determined to stay awake for the 'fun' as long as I could.

"Fine. Do you have the book, 20 Questions or are we just taking turns asking whatever we want?"

Alice let out a sigh of glee at my resignation to play.

"No silly!" She reached for a bowl that was sitting on her dresser and brought it down to the floor where Rosalie and I were now sitting. I was wrapped in a blanket and lounging on pillows with Rosalie lying beside me. Alice joined us and brought our attention to the bowl.

"I spent all day today at school coming up with good questions. I've written a bunch down and put them on slips of paper in the bowl. The way we play is to take turns picking out a question. We get to choose who gets to answer the question, but then it's that person's turn to ask the question once they've answered. To take your turn, you can either decide to redirect the question you just answered to the person who asked, or you can pick a new question out of the bowl to ask anyone. Got it? Great! I'll start!"

Her explanation sounded a little confusing, and I got the sneaky suspicion she went through that explanation so fast for that reason. For some reason Alice couldn't wait for us to play this game.

She picked out a slip of paper and began reading aloud.

"Name someone famous you'd give up your prized possession to spend one night with."

Alice looked from me to Rosalie and then finally settled on Rosalie.

"Alice, he would have to be a very damn good looking man for me to give up my Charlotte. Hmmm...and only for one night? I know! Remember that miniseries we watched awhile back? What was it called? About the war in Iraq? Kill something..."

Alice chimed in without missing a beat, "Oh! Generation Kill. Yes I remember - Jasper made me watch it at least half a dozen times. Ooohh, you mean that Alexander guy, the one who played Iceman? He was super hot..."

Rosalie started laughing, "No not Iceman. The other guy - the one that played Lilley or something? I think his name is Kellan? He's really cute. I bet he's a movie away from being a major sex symbol. He was hot. I'd spend a night with him for Charlotte."

I watched the exchange between Alice and Rosalie with amusement. So maybe these questions wouldn't be so bad. But I had one I needed to ask without taking a turn.

"Wait. Who or what is Charlotte?"

Rosalie chortled out her answer, "My car!" Then went on to say it was her turn.

The game continued along a more silly line for several more turns. Among other things, I was asked to describe in detail my first kiss. Alice had to tell us her most embarrassing moment with Jasper and Rosalie had just finished telling us what job she would be the most miserable at if she was forced to get one.

"I'm just saying, waitresses deal with a lot of b.s. I could never serve people on a daily basis and I could never force myself to be nice to people who behaved like jackasses. My turn."

She stopped cold as she opened the folded paper. She looked hard at Alice, not saying a word, but just waiting.

I started to feel a little uneasy and then Alice finally spoke.

"Just read it Rosalie. It's 20 Questions. Not all the questions are meant to be light. It's meant to help us get to know one another. Sometimes that means asking harder questions."

I could tell Alice was somewhat second-guessing her list of questions in the bowl because she cowered - ever so slightly - under Rosalie's glare.

"Fine. But then this question is for you."

Alice simply nodded and my stomach immediately tightened.

"Describe in detail what you love most about being a vampire, or if this question is asked of Bella, being with a vampire."

I felt a slight whoosh get expelled from my tightened lungs. That wasn't that bad of a question - why was Rosalie reacting that way?

Alice started speaking softly, directing her answer to Rosalie at first.

"I just...you had a chance to tell Bella about what you didn't like about being what you are. I wanted her to have the chance to hear what you do like about it. Or if I got asked the question - why I love being what I am. It's only fair she hears both sides."

Rosalie, to my surprise, just nodded at Alice to go ahead and continue.

Alice took my hands in hers and without any further hesitation, opened up about her entire story.

"I'm not sure how old I am. I mean, I know how long I've been a vampire, but I'm not entirely sure how old I was when I turned. I don't remember anything about my human life. Before I saw Jasper in my thoughts the only real thing I remember is darkness and fear. I was alone and scared and I had no idea how I came to be. The only thing I could remember was hearing a name, like a whisper getting lost in a long dark tunnel, the name 'Alice' just kept playing like a record in my mind. I took the name as my own, but to be completely honest, I'm not even sure that's who I was. What I do know is that is who I am now."

She took a brief break to smile reassuringly at me, knowing her story was starting out as dark and sad as Rosalie's, before continuing to what she loved most.

"I have no idea what I lost, unlike Rosalie, I don't have memories of a life I could have lived. I don't know if I had a family or anyone that loved me. The past was empty. But I kept having visions of a future that kept me going. A future I could hold on to. I kept seeing his beautiful face, and in a moment I would see it again in a new vision but beaten and scarred. I didn't know how I was going to find him, but something inside of me knew I had to, for both of our sakes. I knew he was like me, although I still didn't entirely understand what that meant. I only knew from my visions that I had to stay out of the sun, I didn't have to wonder what people would do if they saw me for what I was. I saw what they would do, and I am so thankful for having that power - to see what I needed to do to stay alive. I did what I could to train my visions on him. I just knew I had to find him, that somehow once I did we would both be okay."

Alice's voice trailed off slightly as I imagined her recalling that heartbreaking memory - knowing she had to find someone but had no idea where to start.

"I finally heard his name being called by a woman. Jasper Whitlock. And after what felt like forever, I finally had a vision that led me to him. He was walking into a diner and I knew I had to be there when he did. So I found the diner and I waited for him. It felt like hours of electric anticipation until finally he walked through the door. I immediately went up to him and told him that I've been waiting for him, and instead of thinking I was crazy, he just simply smiled at me - that adorable smile of his. I told him my story and how I saw the two of us living a different life, a happier life with a family named 'Cullen'. And amazingly enough, he left his life and walked out of that diner with me and never looked back. We found our new family together and we've been with them ever since."

Alice looked from Rosalie to me and then finally said what I knew she was building up to.

"So, what I love most about being a vampire is that I get to spend the rest of my life, I get to spend a real forever living 'happily ever after' with the man I love. The man that saved me from a cold and lonely existence that I wouldn't have survived a month in on my own. It was the vision of him coming into my life that kept me moving. And it has been his love since that has made me thankful every day that I am what I am. I don't know what kind of life I had as a human, but I do know that no amount of memory loss or whatever it was that has kept my past hidden could have suppressed the memory of that kind of love if I had known it as a human. The kind of love I have with Jasper transcends darkness. I couldn't imagine a world in which he didn't exist. And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with him. I wouldn't want to bewith anyone else but him. And I would never want either one of us to leave the other in death. It would be an unfair and cruel joke to play on someone like me. I would see it coming, it would play out in agonizing detail over and over again - either my dying and leaving Jasper alone or him leaving me to despair - a broken record of heartache that would drive me into madness..."

Alice trailed off again, this time she took a few moments to shake the depressing thoughts from her head before continuing.

"But I don't have to imagine any of that. And it's great not being vulnerable to illness or accident. We have each other, we have our family, I have everything I could ever want, and as long as I get to spend eternity with my soul mate, I shall never curse my existence. Instead, every single day, I have felt complete joy at knowing just how lucky I am. I will always feel that way. I am lucky for the life I've been given. And that's what I love."

I smiled at Alice and gave her a hug - a small token of gratitude for orchestrating this whole night just to tell me that story. Despite its depressing undertones, it was still a love story. Her love story. And I was glad she shared it with me.

Rosalie and Alice finally - now that it was 5 a.m. - conceded that they had kept me up late enough and would let me get some sleep. They took me down the hall to Edward's room and before I could protest, opened the door, gently pushed me inside, said "good night" and shut the door behind them.

I looked around in awe. I had been in Edward's room a few times before, but this was the first time he had a bed in the middle of it. I saw that one of the girls had put my overnight bag by the foot of the bed, and too tired to let myself fantasize about where I was about to sleep, put on my night shirt and crawled under the covers.

…

"Bella? Are you awake?"

I was starting to come out of a very pleasant dream involving me, Edward, and a very sturdy bed. "No...not awake...dreaming..." I tried to fight the inevitable, desperately wanting to go back to the world where I was lying in Edward's arms in his bed...cuddling up to him after experiencing a blissful night of passion...and then suddenly I was aware of my surroundings.

"Edward?"

His laughing subsided as he angled his head down so he could kiss my forehead.

"Good morning, Bella. Or, I should say, good afternoon. I hope you slept well, it certainly sounded as if you did."

Oh god.

"I was having a very good dream, thank you very much. You'll be happy to know that I slept very well after Dream-Edward was through with me."

If he could have blushed, I might have said the perfect thing to get that response, but Edward never missed a beat.

"Hmmm... well maybe real Edward will have to show you just how lame Dream-Edward can be."

And with that, he rolled over on top of me, tickling my ear with a light flick of his tongue, before feathering kisses over my eyes, nose, and then my lips. He inhaled deeply before pulling me into a kiss that left me gasping for air. I grabbed a fistful of his hair causing him to sit up, but this time instead of breaking the kiss, he put his hand behind my back and pulled me up to him, tearing away from my mouth to kiss the side of my neck, my throat, letting his tongue slowly taste the salt of my skin. He took another deep breath before bringing his lips back to mine, kissing me ever so softly before whispering a "How did real Edward do?" into my parted mouth.

He did fantastic. Simply fantastic.

Chapter End Notes:

No music in this one - the chapter felt a little lost without it, but there will be plenty of music in the remaining chapters to make up for it here.