Ghost watched the small waves play upon the dark surface of the ocean below him as he flew overhead. They were headed east of the oilrig, where they would find the Gulag. It was about an hour flight and it was deathly quiet inside the chopper. Ghost raised his head and gazed inside. Cannibal was staring blankly at the ground, Worm was asleep, Roach, who was seated across from Ghost, was gazing out at the dark sky, and as Ghost turned to look at Soap who was seated beside him, the Captain looked up and met his gaze. Ghost turned away and pulled his balaclava off, sighing as the cold breeze ran across his face and through his short hair. The action stole everyone's attention, except for Worm who was lost in dreamland. Ghost was such a mysterious asset to the team, that whenever he revealed his face they all wanted to take as much detail of his features in as quickly as possible. Ghost turned away from them and gazed back out at the long stretch of water. He was heading towards another challenging mission, a mission that could possibly be his last, and it was times like this he couldn't help but to think of his family. Would today be the day he saw them again? Thoughts like these ate at his will to live. But what exactly did he have left to live for? Those responsible for his family's murder were dead; he had made sure of that two and a half years ago. He had always valued his family especially after his father tore them apart and sent his younger brother on the path of a drug addict. Ghost can still remember coming home after the SAS gave him some recovering time from the torture he endured in Mexico. He couldn't believe how old his mother had looked even though she was only in her forties. And when he found his brother Tommy lying on a couch in one of his so called friend's apartment; he had looked like a skeleton with skin. His eyes were sunken into his skull and he had been deathly pale. Ghost had remembered the terror well up inside him because he had believed his little brother was dead until he rushed over and checked his pulse. There had been bottles of pills and needles lying about, and Ghost had to lift him gently for fear he would hurt him. Ghost closed his eyes as he remembered.
"Your getting cleaned up. Mom needs you and I need you."
"You don't need me! You left to go kill Arabs." Tommy growled as he struggled against his older brother's grip on his arms.
"I kill killers Tommy, not Arabs. There's a difference. I'm on absence and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Tommy stopped struggling as tears filled his eyes.
"Oh God Simon….what have I done?" he whispered.
"I'm going to help you make this right Tommy. I'll stay with you, even if it takes forever." he said softly as he pulled his younger brother close.
Ghost opened his eyes again and blinked back the tears. His brother had cleaned himself up, got married and had a beautiful baby boy, and Ghost had never been more proud of his brother than when they were at that hospital while Beth gave birth to little Joseph. Everything had been so perfect then, until it was all so suddenly stolen from him. Violently stolen by the evil that continued to haunt him to this very day. Ghost's eyes hardened. He had never truly forgiven himself for what happened. If he hadn't run into Sparks that night his family would have been safe. They would still be alive today. He wished he would have gotten the chance to torture Sparks how he would have liked to. To make him feel the same pain he had felt until the pain turned into emptiness. Like an empty hole where his heart should be. For a while the hole was filled with a violent rage, and now…
Ghost wasn't entirely sure what filled it now.
"Ghost?"
Ghost lifted his head and gazed up at Roach when he heard his name. Roach was almost stunned into silence. The moonlight was glaring off of Ghost's blue eyes so they almost seemed to glow, but there was darkness behind them, a fury that was begging to come out. The right side of Ghost's face was shrouded in moonlight which succeeded in highlighting the long scar that ran down his face. For a moment he looked like some sort of evil villain in a movie until his eyes softened at the obvious worry in Roach's expression. The fury Roach had seen, was gone in a flash.
"Everything alright mate?" Soap said softly in Ghost's ear.
Ghost gave a slight smile and nodded when he felt that comforting hand on his shoulder. Was this what kept him going? Again he scanned over his comrades sitting around him. Roach and Soap were still watching him curiously and finally he gave them both a reassuring smile before laying his head back and closing his eyes. For a moment he tried to imagine losing these two, and realized he couldn't. Soldiers and Captains were easily replaced when killed in action, but it was different here. Ghost remembered what Roach told him on the way to the oil rig.
"I'll do what I can. We're family remember? We look out for each other."
This is what filled that hole. That hole of pain, emptiness, and rage. This was the plug. Without Roach and Soap, Ghost would have no one. No one to turn to for comfort or help. Everyone, regardless if they were bad or good, weak or strong, needed comfort from somewhere. Everyone needed to know they were cared about. Ghost had known that loneliness before. He had known that mind splitting numbness in your heart that made you want to put a bullet in your head. The only thing that kept him from doing so was revenge, and after that it was Soap. Soap was the one who weeded his past out of him and made him face it. Ghost owed that man his life. Without Soap he would probably be a pile of bones, lost to everyone's memory. Whatever was happening now, with the hallucinations and such, Ghost knew it was all in his head. He had managed to repress his memories and be happy in the Task Force until his injury brought everything back. But as he felt the two pairs of eyes on him he knew for a fact everything would be okay. There would always be an empty place in his heart for his family, but the majority of that hole was filled now. Filled by the brothers watching over him as he fell asleep.