A/N: Hiatus is over! Hooray! Turns out my laptop was less busted than I thought. It just wouldn't charge for some reason. I'm still planning to buy a new one anyway. Sorry it took so long, but I promise to have the next chapter up much quicker. It seems my chocolate sauce metaphor broke a few brains. I apologize for that as well, I didn't mean to upset anyone. I only did it, as they say, 'for the lulz'.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There's lots of Ianto, and very little of anyone else. It's not particularly funny, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.
Amelia McDermid: Glad you enjoyed it. Tosh's death nearly made me cry. It actually did make a friend of mine cry, but he's even more of a girl than me (uh...no offense to all you girls).
HuckingHarkness: Alright, you caught me. The plot has been advancing, just, very, very slowly. I'm having trouble getting everything in place, but this chapter marks the beginning of some significant story advancement. I hope...
canadianskick: Oh, do't get me wrong. I have a much bigger idea for your character, have no fear.
Bewildered butterfly: I don't want to give everything a way. The mindlink doesn't play an especially big part in this installment, but you'll get an idea of it's potential in this chapter.
elretardo-69: Thanks, I think. I'm not really sure what you wrote, but I get that it was a positive comment.
hotflower901: That's okay. I'm pretty sure I don't wanna see you covered in sauce either. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
scigirl382: Luckily, your big question, and then some, gets answered in this very chapter! Hooray!
DISCLAIMER:
Torchwood ain't my property,
Although I wish it were so.
As much as I hate to admit it,
It's a copyrighted T.V. show.
WARNINGS:
To ensure that your parents,
Don't get to bitch and moan,
I have to warn you readers,
Don't try this shit at home.
TWENTYONE: ESPIONAGE FOR DUMMIES
"Ianto?" Gwen asked "is something wrong?" He seemed almost frozen, gripping the mobile so tightly his knuckles had gone white. "Who was on the phone?"
"That" Ianto replied, falsely nonchalant "was Graeme."
"Oh. Okay." There was a long pause "Who's Graeme?"
"Graeme Greene." Ianto slipped the phone into his pocket "The former chief archivist of Torchwood One."
"Wow." Gwen blinked, taken aback "A former employee of Torchwood turns up dead, and now a girl with connections to the chief archivist is murdered. That's quite a coincidence."
"Maybe that's all it is?" Kathy asked "You did say Torchwood One disbanded. It could be a fluke." Ianto shook his head.
"I knew Graeme." He replied "If there's even the slightest chance he's involved, you can bet he organised the whole thing."
"How did you know Graeme?" Owen asked.
"He was my boss." Ianto shrugged "I worked under him."
"I'll bet you did."
"Owen!" Gwen turned to give him a sharp retort, but Ianto merely blushed.
"We did have a sort of thing…but that was before I met Lisa."
"God, you never let up do you?" Owen asked "You just roll over for anyone."
"I'm attracted to powerful men." Ianto replied.
"Well that counts you out." Gwen told Owen "Now Ianto," She continued, turning to him "Do you know Graeme's address?"
"Yes, I think so, unless he's moved. Why?" Ianto asked, not liking the look on her face. It was like a devious villain from a cartoon, right before he tied the beautiful heroine to the train tracks.
"I think I have an idea."
"Why does that sound so horrible when it comes out of your mouth?"
"So," Alex flopped onto the bed, next to Nina "now what happens?"
"Well, your minds are going to slowly bleed into each other, becoming as one. You'll share memories, secrets, and thoughts. You'll see what he sees, hear what he hears, feel what he feels. You'll know each other even more intimately than you know yourselves."
"How do you know all this?"
"I've done it before."
"With who?" Alex asked, sitting up, surprised and shocked by the idea that there was someone out there that Nina would trust with the contents of her mind.
"Leif," she replied, "William, and a few others." She shrugged at Alex's disbelieving stare "It's the most effective way of communicating. No cost, no wait time, no static or miscommunications."
"But what about what you just said?" Alex asked "About feelings and stuff?"
"Well, I don't have to worry about that." She picked at her nails. "Or at least, I never used to; your stupid emotions have really messed me up. I hate feeling ways about stuff, at least when I bonded with people, I only copped the physical pain, not the emotional baggage."
"So, when I killed Leif…you felt that?"
"Yep."
"What was it like?"
"Choking on hot tar?"
"Um…yeah…"
"It hurt. A lot."
"Oh."
Toshiko returned to the room, exhausted. She'd searched every inch of her half of the building, and was hoping to get in a short nap before delivering her second lecture. The building was huge, and had divisions for just about everything you could imagine from Weapons Research to Microwave Dinners. She opened the door to find Jack lying on the couch, head thrown back and snoring lustily. Enraged, she stormed over and smacked him in the face with her handbag.
"Huh, wha- Toshiko?"
"What the hell, Jack?" She ranted "I've been going over this place with a fine-tooth comb, searching for secret passages and all that crap, and you've been up here doing…well, I don't particularly want to know what you've been doing, but I bet it wasn't helpful!"
"I searched for a bit," Jack replied "but then it got boring, so I went to the front desk and asked for a map."
"Oh, he asked for a map!" Toshiko raged to the otherwise empty room. "Well isn't that just…a map? Let me see that." She snatched the folded paper from Jack's outstretched hand and spread it out on the coffee table. The map was divided into twenty-five sections, one for each floor, with each room clearly marked. Finding Doctor Worth's office didn't take long. It was on the ground floor, and Jack had already circled it with red pen. "That doesn't make any sense. You'd think she'd be in Weapons Research, on the eighth floor, or maybe in the Psychology Department; but that's on the twelfth."
"Maybe Doctor Worth has her own department; one that doesn't show up on the map."
"Well, wherever she is, that's where we'll find Alex."
"Gwen, I'm really not comfortable with this." Ianto squirmed uncomfortably. He felt positively naked without his tie, and Owen's jeans were starting to ride.
"Man up, pussy-boy!" Gwen ordered from her position in the front passenger seat. "The fate of the world depends on you reuniting with your old boyfriend!"
"Can't Owen do it?" Ianto asked "Or how about Kathy? I bet Graeme's down with the 'swirl'."
"Sorry, pretty boy," Kathy gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder "but you're the only one who has any history with him. He wouldn't let some stranger in his house. Besides, you're the hottest one here."
"Why don't we just let him keep the orb?"
The next thing he knew, Ianto was on his hands and knees in front of an apartment block, his ears still ringing from the screech of tyres as the SUV raced around the corner and out of sight. With a sigh of resignation, he picked himself up and dusted off his knees. He made his way up the stairs, finally stopping at apartment seventeen. He caught sight of his slightly distorted reflection in the doorknob.
His 'disguise' was a plain white dress shirt with the top buttons undone, and Owen's baggiest jeans, which on him were still so tight that the button-fly was threatening to pop open any minute. There certainly wasn't any room to hide a gun. At least not without Jack's remarkable talent, a display of which had scarred the young Welshman for life.
He spent a few seconds finger-combing his hair, before straightening up and tugging on the jeans, which were trying to crawl up his arse again. He pressed the doorbell. He waited exactly a minute before pressing it again, wincing at the harsh chirp.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" A muffled voice bellowed from within. "Keep your hair on!" The door swung open. "What the fuck do you- Ianto?"
Ianto looked Graeme up and down. The man had aged extremely well. He was still sporting a thick head of dark hair, with slight greying at the temples, which actually did make him look distinguished, instead of just old. He had obviously been working out more since they'd last met, as evidenced by his well-defined muscles and an impressive six pack. He was clad in nothing but boxer-briefs, the bulge of which held a package that would be the envy of any mailman. Ianto was struggling to remember why they'd ever broken up. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware that he was drooling slightly.
"Uh…H-hi, Graeme," he stammered, finally dragging his eyes back up to the man's face. "I was just in the area and I thought I'd…" he swallowed thickly before continuing, "drop in."
"Right, right. Well…uh, come in." Graeme moved to the side and waved Ianto in "The place is a bit of a mess I'm afraid. I don't get many visitors. Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?"
"Just a glass of water, thanks." Ianto replied, suppressing a shudder at the memory of Graeme's coffee. Graeme hurried to comply. He returned from the kitchenette with a small glass of tap water. Ianto downed it quickly, though it did nothing to help the sudden dryness of his mouth. They stood together in awkward silence, Graeme's arms swinging back and forth.
"So, I should probably shower and get dressed. After all it's nearly…"
"Three o'clock." Ianto finished for him.
"Right. Well, you make yourself at home and I'll go do…that."
Graeme vanished into the bedroom. Ianto waited until he could hear the shower running before he began scouring the apartment. He opened every cupboard and drawer, knocking things over in his haste. He overturned couch cushions, even checked the thickest novels on the bookcase. Just as he was beginning to grow desperate, his gaze settled on a rolltop desk standing in the corner of the lounge room, partially obscured by the television. He crouched down in front of it, opening every drawer, rifling through tax forms and receipts, glancing at every page, checking for false bottoms. The partition at the top sported a large padlock. Ianto turned back to the kitchenette, where a set of keys was hanging from a small hook by the phone. He dashed to it, stumbling over an ottoman.
Just as his hand closed around the keys, the shower stopped with a squeak. Ianto froze, panting heavily, heart beating so fast it was almost a constant hum. As soon as it became clear that Graeme was not about to burst out, naked and dripping (a scenario that had as many pros as cons), Ianto ran back across the room.
After much fumbling with the keys, he found the one that fit the padlock. Ianto lifted the partition of the rolltop, only to have it get stuck after an inch. He jiggled and shook the desk frantically, it screeched in protest as he forced it open the rest of the way. Lying there, open, was a manila folder with a sheaf of paper. Ianto grabbed it and flicked through the pages. He only skimmed the contents, but what he read was enough to ensure him of the folder's importance.
"Ianto?"
At the sound of Graeme's voice, Ianto slammed the rolltop shut and turned around; shoving the folder down his already tight pants, while his other hand struggled to replace the padlock.
"Hi Graeme." Ianto squeaked, just as the lock snapped shut with a click. "I was just admiring your desk. It's very beautiful. The wood is mahogany, yes?"
"PVC with a maple veneer, actually." Graeme corrected "Listen, I was wondering if you aren't busy, maybe you'd like to go and-"
"Oh, I just remembered!" Ianto interrupted before Graeme could finish. "I have to go see my sister. She's in…hospital…with termites."
"Termites?"
"She has a wooden leg." Ianto replied, running to the door. "It's very serious. Can we do it another time?"
"Uh, sure. How about-"
"Fantastic," Ianto slammed the door shut behind him. "I'll call you! Bye!"
A/N: Okay, so this probably raises more questions than it answers. I wanted to have the contents of the folder revealed in this chapter, but it would've been twice as long, and so you would've had to wait twice as long to get it.
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