A/N AHHHH Happy Belated Holidays! And Happy New Year! My New Year's resolution is to try and post on a schedule! Like every thursday or something! Not like once a month... But that's okay because this chapter takes us more then half way through the fourth book, which leaves me only a book and a half, to spoof before the new book comes out in March! By the way the first like 3 chapters of FANG are in the 2nd book of the Maximum Ride Manga series. I went to Borders the other night, just to read them. (I'm such a crazy fan...) Anyways it seems like it's going to be an okay book, but then again I only read three chapters... So it could possibly the best book ever! Anyways here's chapter three of the spoofed Final Warning!!!! (I apologize in advanced if this isn't all that funny, I've just finished almost three hours of english homework hell...)
DISCLAIMER~ I'm totally not James Patterson, so how could I own Maximum Ride? I also don't own: Elmo, religion, Disney World, or Antarctica.
Chapter Three~ Contains MR chapters 27 to 40
On a Plane!
Max: I still don't understand why we couldn't fly to .... where are we going again...
Dr. Martinez: Do not make me repeat my evil rant from the last chapter! You're going to Antarctica!
Brigid: *looks at Fang* Hey Fang!
Fang: *melts into a puddle of goo, mumbling* The hot girl knows my name...
Max: *jealousy*
Dr. Martinez: MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING!
Iggy: ... is Antarctica nice this time of year?
Max: SHUT UP!
Angel: Iggy, Antarctica is never nice anytime of the year... It's a bunch of ice and snow and the only thing that lives there year round are penguins...
Nudge: I love penguins! There like funny birds in black and white tuxedos, I wonder if they tell jokes...... o_0
Later!
(Dr. Martinez has mysteriously disappeared off the plane due to the writer of the fanfic putting her on the plane for fun...)
Total: *whiny voice* Are we there yet?
Max: Nooo....
(Plane Lands)
Gazzy: *Throws open the door to the plane and jumps out*
(Sirens go off and a life boat pops out of the plane)
Max: Every time we go somewhere you just have to set of some loud annoying alarm!
Gazzy: I don't understand why a plane would have an alarm! Who would steal a plane!
Fang: I'd like a plane...
Max: You have wings you emo-doofus!
Fang: -_- I'm not emo...
Nudge: What's emo?
Angel: I think it's like Elmo, but you know without the L....
Iggy: No, its not like that at all...
Nudge: ... is it a song?
Iggy: *facepalm* no.
Brigid: *escapes off the plane*
Gazzy: Look a boat!
Iggy: Lets go blow it up!
Max: NO! That's the boat we're going to The Magically Wonderful Land Of The Penguins in!
On The Boat That's On It's Way To The Magically Wonderful Land Of The Penguins!
Max: *nudges Fang* look this section of the chapter is named after what I just said...
Fang: Great... maybe later you could say, 'Fang starts dating Brigid the hot scientist', and that'll end up happening.
Max: I HOPE BRIGID DIES !
Fang: *screams* NO! What's wrong with you! *runs off to go make sure Brigid is still alive*
Max: WITH MY NEW FOUND POWER I COULD RULE THE WORLD!... or maybe just this fanfic...
Voice In The Sky: No Max! That's my job!
Max: *screams* A VOICE FROM THE SKY! I BEG YOUR EXTREME FORGIVENESS... Yahweh, God, Allah, ermm Zeus?
Voice In The Sky: No Max it's just the writer of this story...
Max: Oh... sorry...
At A Meeting With Scientist And Junk!
Max: *whips out her wings*
Random Scientist: 0_o Why aren't they attached to your arms?
Fang: ...because that would be weird...
Total: I can talk! I would also like some food!
Scientists: *pass out*
After The Scientists Wake Back Up! (and get the flock some food!)
Brigid: The world is in danger because of global warming!
Iggy: Why do you need us though?
Brigid: *looking at Fang* Because we need your super special world saving abilities!
Fang: *nudges Max* she called me special!
Max: #^*&!
Nudge: Guys Max invented a new word!
Iggy: Fang is in looooooooovvveeeeee.....
Gazzy: *holding up a bagel* Does this smell funny to you?
Total: Gross!
Max: I want to get off this boat!
Fang: I'm still hungry...
Brigid: Oh, Fang! Let's go and get some more food for you!
(Brigid and Fang leave.)
Max: I'm going back to my cabin and then I'm going to crawl into bed and die...
Total: Take me with you!
Later! (After Max dies and comes back to life!)
Fang: *stops Max in a hallway*
Max: What do you want...
Fang: I heard you died and came back to life... So are you like Jesus now, or a zombie?
Max: -_- Run away Fang I'm going to eat your brains...
The Next Day!
Max: Hey Nudge, where are Angel, Fang and Iggy?
Nudge: Playing Poker with a few scientists...
Max: Angel is playing poker! ....how much is she winning by?
Nudge: We almost have enough money to buy a house right next to Disney World, so we can go to Disney everyday!
Max: 0_o I love Disney!
Fang: *poofs in out of no where* More then you love me?
Max: Yes!
Fang: *depressed, poofs back to poker game*
Angel: *runs on deck with a wad of cash and points at a random wave* Look a whale! *dives into the ocean*
Later!
Scientist: We should be able to see land soon!
Iggy: I don't see anything!
Nudge: *asks Max* Can I hit him this time?
Max: Yes.
Nudge: *whacks Iggy* That was fun!
Everyone: *starts to whack Iggy until he is unconscious*
In Antarctica!
Fang: ....it's so white here.....
Max: ...and.
Fang: And I like black, white is the opposite of black... and black isn't white and white isn't black and there's a lot of white, to much white....
Angel: I think he's going to have a melt down...
Max: *gleefully* Maybe he'll explode!
Fang: Brigid wouldn't keep wishing me painful deaths!
Max: Then why don't you go hang out with the currently blonde Brigid!
Fang: Fine, I think I will!
Iggy: I CAN SEE!
Max & Fang: SHUT UP!
Total: *to Iggy* I think it's cool that you can see again...
Iggy: *sighs* Thanks Total...
NEXT TIME! IGGY CAN'T REALLY SEE! THE EVIL GUYS COME INTO THE STORY! MAX HELPS TO SAVE THE WORLD! AND ANGEL WANTS A BABY PENGUIN!
~Gabby