Chapter 20: The Chapter That Explains Everything
Aroramage: Hello, readers, and welcome to Chapter 20! Now I know how excited all of you are in your anticipation of the final battle between good and evil coming up in the next chapter or so, but there are some questions beforehand that have yet to be clarified, such as:
What happened to the other Power Stars that have seemingly gone unnoticed during this entire time?
What happened to all the cameos who appeared in the previous chapters?
What goes on in the lives of characters like Hokempokemweh of the Desert, the Touhou characters, and the actual bosses from the games who appeared maybe once or twice, now that they've returned to lives of semi-normality?
Well, that's why there's this chapter, The Chapter That Explains Everything!
We'll start with something easy and what-not: the characters!
Hokempokemweh, the ancient revived pharaoh who was thought to have gone AWOL, has gone back to his eternal rest in the tomb back in Shifting Sand Land. After his experiences in the new world, he spent some time exploring it, and, realizing how much has changed, decided to give up his plans for world domination in favor of having fun at Disney World. He now sleeps soundly and eternally with a stuffed Mickey doll next to him for comfort. It's specially wrapped for him.
The Eyerok guardians also went to eternal sleep. They didn't really have much else to do after serving Hokempokemweh, and as he went to eternal sleep, so did they. They each got themselves their own dolls too: Righty took Goofy while Lefty holds onto Donald. They trade off every couple thousand years or so.
The Touhou characters went on to create more games and live out their lives over and over again by trying to prevent the hero from succeeding. On their breaks, they occasionally invade other stories but have recently run into the Interdimensional Firewall that sprung up in recent years. Since then, they have tried to break through the wall. They're still working on that.
Monkey D. Luffy, Admiral Razorbeard, Tetra, Cortez, Ridley, Cecil, and Jonathan Jones have come together and recently formed the League of Extraordinary Pirates, consisting of all different kinds of pirates from all walks of life. Their activities usually have been to get together and talk about all sorts of swashbuckly things and rewatch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. They eagerly await the latest sequels.
Awkward Pause Sr. and his family founded the Awkward Pauses Family Business, set-up on being paid by sponsors to come in and be active at various moments in stories. Now, every time he appears, Awkward Pause Sr. gets a small bonus for his years of service: a free coupon for ice cream. Awkward Pause Jr. loves his father very much.
Goomboshi and Shrawful managed to get their own talk show on NPR, where they discuss such heated debates as remembering those who were used for one or two cameos in any story. They usually take a moment of silence on their Thursday show for this remembrance. The show runs on a channel people can't find easily, though, save for those who get the specially marked say you only need to appear in a story once to get it.
Jeff and Sue would continue to date each other after their encounter on the ships. Three years would go by before Jeff asked Sue to marry him. She said yes. The wedding is next spring.
Harrison Ford went on to star in many more badass roles, eventually getting inducted into the Hall of Badasses. He is now immortalized as one of the greatest, alongside such names as Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee.
Someone has been sent to the local mental hospital after his delusions for being Mario and Luigi's father got out of hand. He is still somehow convinced that he's their father. Nobody can change his mind yet otherwise.
The Paradox Brothers eventually gave up on their tag-team dueling and continued their rhyming with a younger audience group. They would eventually found the group known as the Bald Duo, but they soon fell flat in the face of The Wiggles. They've retired in China to grow crops for Honest Town and Liarsburg.
Nowhere continues to exist, but his loneliness has become more apparent. After paying for a few therapy sessions, he decided to take up a life of crime, assimilating all sorts of crazy phenomenon and unusual things. The events that occurred as a result of this are all recorded in the popular TV show, Courage the Cowardly Dog.
Ten2One appears every now and again to remind people of his unusually proportioned self. People have since decided to abandon using the phrase "ten to one" in order to-
Ten2One: I'M DESTITUTE, GET ME A JOB!
...eh-hem. Yes. Ten2One needs a job now. He's applying to Burger King.
Gawd managed to recover from his incident with the ships, as we all know, and he has found a new assistant to replace the one lost. He continues to reside in Heffawn, doing what he does best: damning everybody. He's obtained a new vigor for his job, with the help from his son Geezus. And he loves his job.
Unlucky disappeared into the nethervoid, never to return to plot the demise of his real world counterpart. In fact, he's just not bothering with villainy anymore and has decided to open a retirement home for the dark counterparts. Anti-everyone is anti-happy about this decision.
King Boo and his fellow Boos started up a chain of haunted hotels, complete with dysfunctional elevators, creaking floors, slamming doors, flickering lights, rattling windows, and free laundry services. Their services have given them a fortune, which King Boo has spent on the construction of Castle Boo. The castle is currently under construction.
V.V. Argost died as he lived, screaming in agony as he was blown apart. Granted, this blowing apart that led to his death was really part of using power and anti-power from a young boy gifted with the ability to deal with cryptids, but I suppose being set ablaze and turned into a giant fireball is kinda the same thing.
Team Sandwich continued to walk the paths of attempted heroism and villainy before deciding to retire. They rested upon the Great White Plate, awaiting their ascension into the Great Consumer. They still await the Day of Grabbing.
The Big Bob-omb, Goomboss, and King Chilly founded the Villains R Us toy store where all the latest evil gadgets and technologies can be found. Their best customer in particular shows up quite often, a strangely egg-shaped mustachioed man. The three co-owners get along well with their best customer.
The Clockmaker still thrives to this day, doing what he's always done. He maintains Tick Tock Clock's scenery just as well as he did before anyone showed up to take it away. He's also relying on powering the clocks through a curious means, somehow using the energy of the space-time continuum to power the clocks. It still needs some testing after the incident involving a telephone box in London.
The Wiggler of Hearts continues to rule the tiny island world of Tiny-Huge Island. Granted, she's really not that big or threatening. In fact, she's rather small when you get right down to it! Which on Tiny-Huge Island basically equates to nothing...
His pride shattered into a million pieces, Colonel Bogey has ventured out with the Hazard Boys in search of a world they can fit in. So far worlds that have refused them include the NBA, the WNBA, the MLB, Wimbledon, the NHL...
Koopa the Quick eventually managed to get out of jail. Nowadays, he spends his time participating in marathons across the world. He uses it to raise money for the Koopas Without Shells Foundation, a non-profit organization for those Koopas without homes to go to. Bowser doesn't like charity work, but then again he doesn't know.
PrinceShroob and Mesprit/Shroob have settled their differences and have since become at peace with their one-ness. They've gone on to create such contradictory things as the Dark Lightbulb, the Frozen Fire, and of course the Electrified Stone.
BM/Crystal King/MSM1 became MSW1 and announced herself as a woman.
TRC: *laughs* Oh, Magey, MSM1 isn't a woman!
Aroramage: Actually, Chao, she's...well, she is.
TRC: Huh?
Aroramage: MSW1 is actually a girl.
TRC:...HUH?!
Aroramage: Well, not biologically speaking, more mentally speaking...it's kinda complicated.
TRC:...does this change anything?
Aroramage: Huh?
TRC: DOES THIS CHANGE ANYTHING?!
Aroramage:...what are you getting at, Chao?
TRC: I'M GETTING AT CHAPTER 11! THE PART WHERE WE FUSED TOGETHER!
Aroramage: Oh yeah, you guys did that didn't y-
TRC: Have I been mind-f*cked?
Aroramage:...what.
TRC: HAVE I BEEN MIND-F*CKED?!
Aroramage: Uh, I don't think this is the best place for-
TRC: OH MY GOD, I'M NOT A MENTAL VIRGIN ANYMORE!
Aroramage:...I don't think...why would you...WHAT?!
TRC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
...so, uh, yeah. The Red Chao ran out the office window just now. I hope he didn't fall down, there's supposed to be a group of spike-layers down th-
TRC: YEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
...huh.
The Breakfast Brigade, on the other hand, has a very different story:
The ship docks at a small landing, and the mighty captain steps off of his vessel. He looks up towards the shining hill and climbs up to it slowly, his pace off-centered from his various battle scars. A toucan flies by above him over to the hill and settles down near a trio of statues as the captain reaches the top.
Sam: They were so young...
Crunch: Aye, they were.
Captain Crunch continues past several statues, looking upon the faces of fallen comrades. He looks across at them all and sighs deeply. As the duo stand near the statues, another humanoid being walks up to them as well. He looks down at the statues.
Omega: Are these the others you mentioned?
Crunch: Sadly so. They fought bravely for our side, alongside the others.
Omega: I'm sorry for your loss.
Crunch: Don't mention it.
The group continues down a pathway leading from the memorial and into a large shrine. Before them is a sitting statue of a mustached man wearing glasses, looking regal in his simple business suit.
Omega: Who is that?
Crunch: Kellogg, the one who gave us life. One might say he's a lesser deity, but he is our greatest protector.
Omega: And what do you hope to do with this?
Crunch nods over at Toucan Sam, who brings out a small pouch. He opens it up to reveal several Power Stars inside.
Crunch: With these Power Stars as an offering, we may be able to reverse the damage done to our comrades. We may even be able to reverse the damage caused by Krillen.
Omega: So that's why we gathered these Power Stars.
Crunch: Indeed. Even if it was difficult to do, we needed to find a suitable amount to allow the ritual to work.
Crunch then takes the Power Star pouch away from Toucan Sam. The two nod to each other, and Crunch heads up to the statue of Kellogg. He kneels down before the statue and holds up the pouch.
Crunch: O Mighty Kellogg, born April 7, 1860 and deified October 6, 1951, worshipper of the Seventh-Day, founder of the Company and the Ranch and the Foundation, bringer of joy and nutrition, grant unto us your favor in light of this offering and bring forth your divine power to make our wish come true!
The Stars twinkled brightly as Crunch said his prayer, though at first it appeared that such a thing did nothing. Then the statue of Kellogg began to move its mouth in a talkative way.
Kellogg: Behold, true disciple, for I am the Founder. Please deposit 1 Power Star to continue.
Crunch looked up with some mild confusion as the statue held out its hand. A slight pause occurred before Crunch took out one of the Power Stars and handed it to the statue. The statue then took hold of the Star and placed it behind the back of the altar.
Kellogg: Thank you for your kind donation. Please feel free to use our services for whatever means you deem of them.
Crunch: Are you well Kellogg?
Kellogg: Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not. Please deposit 1 Power Star to continue.
The statue held out its hand again. Now the trio exchanged suspicious looks with each other as Crunch handed over another Power Star.
Kellogg: *placing the Star behind the altar* Very good. Now your request as to my health is answerable, but I think that's not really the most important thing on your mind right now, is it?
Crunch: Not particularly, no.
Kellogg: Well then, let's see what we can do about that. In fact, let's bring in some associates of mine to help out!
Crunch: Associates?
Suddenly out of the shadows appeared three figures, one of a portly stature, one of a regal manner, and the last of a hulking monstrosity. Toucan Sam and Omega then took arms against these mysterious figures just as Crunch looked to see a couple of spidery limbs come out from behind the altar.
Kellogg: Maybe you remember your old pal, Mr. L?
Crunch: You're not Kellogg's statue!
Kellogg: Oh good, he caught on, I was so worried I wouldn't have the chance to pulverize him myself!
And just like that the statue of Kellogg transfigured itself into a much different form, one with a sinister monocle, a diabolical cane, and two thin chicken legs.
?: ROOSTER legs, thank you very much.
Crunch: You! How dare you make a mockery of our Founder!
KR: Oh pish-posh, it's not like he was doing anything other than gathering dust anyway. So I thought I'd do you all a favor-
At this point, Krillen tossed the stone head of Kellogg down in front of the trio.
KR: -and turn him into dust!
Crunch: I suppose you want the Power Stars!
KR: My goodness he's smart! Wouldn't you say Mr. L?
The Green Thunder popped out of the back of the altar, attached to Brobot L-Force and carrying two Power Stars.
Mr. L: I don't know, who can say who's brilliant when you just hand over a couple of Power Stars?
Crunch finally drew out his sword and wielded it in front of him.
Crunch: If it's a fight you want, I best warn you it's a fight you'll get!
Mr. L: Oh and there's no doubt of that! But why fight us when you can just as easily fight our new allies?
KR: Yes, best to get rid of them now and grab the Power Stars.
Sam: You can have the Power Stars when you pry em from our cold dead hands!
KR: That's the idea.
Krillen snaps his fingers together, and the figures lunged forth! Toucan Sam worked hard to fight off the dazzling royalty shadow, but it was too quick, dodging his attacks until it plunged a deadly parasol into his back! Meanwhile, Omega worked to hold off the shadowy monstrosity as it breathed fire down upon him, and Crunch fended off the portlier shadow as it bombarded him with punches and fireballs!
Crunch: You! How could you bring out these people to fight us!
Mr. L: Biologically engineering, a couple Power Stars, and lots of free time.
Soon it became clear that Omega and Crunch were no match for these two beings. Beaten down to the ground, the shadows claimed the pouch of Power Stars and brought them over to Mr. L.
Mr. L: Very good. It seems the test run is a success!
KR: Goodie! Now then...
Krillen walked up to the fallen duo, his talons clicking against the ground as he approached.
KR: Looks like I get to have the great pleasure of annihilating the two of you personally. And believe me, it's well worth the wait.
He stepped down on Crunch's throat as he drew out the blade in his cane.
KR: *bending down* I want you to pay close attention, Crunch. I want you to watch as I skewer this friend of yours right in front of your eyes. I want you to see him die, just as I had to sit on the sidelines and watch as all of you gained popularity in the hearts of children while I was left alone as a bland and tasteless cereal brand.
Crunch: *chokes out* And a bland and tasteless mascot.
KR: Believe me, when I'm done here, bland and tasteless won't even describe my shoes.
Crunch: You wear shoes?
KR: Only on Sundays.
Krillen then plunges his blade into Omega's heart. Being composed of mostly robotic parts, this in turn causes Omega to sputter and fry electrically. Crunch can do nothing as he watches Omega's writhing in agony until eventually the power source pops and Omega falls back on the ground, no longer meant to run.
KR: And that's exactly what I hope you'll do.
Crunch: Shame that, seeing as I'm not a robot.
KR: I've got my ways.
Krillen electrifies the blade and plunges it through the captain's chest, electrifying him while also stabbing him at the same time. A gurgly popping sound is heard as Crunch loses his last breath, coughing up blood on Krillen who simply wipes it off with a handkerchief.
KR: I'd say rest in peace, but why would I ever want that for you?
He then turns and wipes off the blood from his blade.
KR: Shall we be off then?
Mr. L: My pleasure.
And so the two villains walk away from the scene, followed only by their shadow allies. All that's left at the altar is the head of a statue and three corpses. One sputters out his last few words.
Sam: Lucky...Yoshi...Mario...you are our last hope...