Two chapters in one day. There was an overwelming responce to the last chapter. That was to be expected. Because i don't want you to be left hanging, I will combine chapter 22 and 23 into one, and send it off to my beta's tonight. this way you don't have to wait as long for your answers.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~MDE~

Chapter 21

I wake from a fitful sleep, hoping and praying that it was all a nightmare. The letter that is still in my hands tells me otherwise. The pain comes rushing back as I realize he will never come home. He won't be here for my birthday, or any other day. When it becomes too much, I scream. It's the only way I can seem to let go of all the emotions that are building in me. The noise, however, brings Alice and Rose.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asks before she even has the door open. Once the girls look at me, they are instantly on the bed with me, holding me.

"It will be okay," Rose whispers softly in my ear.

"How can you say that? He's gone. Why did this have to happen?"

"I don't know, sweetie. It will take some time, but it will get better."

"I don't think it can. I love him. I love a man that I will never meet in person. It's not fair."

I spend the rest of the day in bed. I manage to evade the girls' questions, and once they realize I'm in no mood to talk, they leave me be. I know they are still here; I can hear the noise from downstairs, but they leave me alone. They know what I need right now. They both understand that I need them close but need to be alone at the same time. They are the best friends a girl could have.

~MDE~

I should be in class right now; teaching and molding young minds, but I can't bring myself to do it. It's been two weeks since I got Edward's letter, and I still can't seem to accept it. I was hoping it was a mistake; that he would show up on my birthday with some crazy explanation, but as my birthday came and went, I realized he wasn't coming. It took me four days to get out of bed, and even then, Rose and Alice had to drag me out. They stayed that first night and held me as I cried. They told me how much they loved me, how sorry they were, and dried their tears along with mine. I managed to eat small amounts, and they convinced me to take a hot bath. It did help relieve some of the tension in my body, but it still didn't make things better.

I called the school and took some time off. I just can't go back; not yet anyway. I have tried to get in contact with his family, but he never gave me their contact information. I tried searching, but so far, I have come up empty. That hurts the most. I can't even find out when and where his funeral will be. I have watched the news to see if there is any information, but I have heard nothing. I have no way to get closure or to say goodbye, but that's just it; I don't want to say goodbye. I know now that I love him. I knew I felt so much for him, but I know it's love. I love that man with every cell in my body, and he will never know it. He will never hear me say the words. The letter has not left my side; if it's not in my hand, it is in my pocket somewhere. I can't help but read it over and over again. He loved me, he felt the same way, and now it's over before it really had a chance to begin.

Why did this happen? Why did I finally find the man I want forever with, only to have him taken away? It's not fair. I can't eat, sleep, or even think right. There is so much pain in my body, and I don't know how to cope. So, I don't. I hardly leave my bed, and I don't go out unless it's needed. The girls are worried, but they don't understand. How could they? They have never lost anyone like I have. How could they even begin to fathom the pain I feel?

I want to write to Jasper and see if he will give me his family's contact information, but I'm scared. Will they want to hear from me? I can only imagine the pain they feel. I decide it won't hurt to ask. Maybe this way I can go to him; if only to say goodbye.

September, 24, 2011

To:

Subject: Hi.

Dear Jasper,

I hope it's okay that I reach out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't even know what happened or if you are okay. I pray that you are. I wish I had some way of knowing, but I'm not sure the answers will ever be there. I am writing to you for a few reasons. One, I needed to make sure you are okay and safe. Two, I needed to tell you I'm sorry. I feel the need to tell you that I love him, and I know that you are hurting as well. I wish I could take that pain away. The final reason is that I have a question for you. I was wondering if you may be able to provide me with his family's contact information. I would love to get in touch with them and give them my condolences. I would also like to know where he will be laid to rest so I can talk to him. I need to tell him how I feel, and I hate knowing I can't. If this is too much to ask, I understand, but I just needed to know.

I hope to hear that you are safe,

Bella.

I send off the email with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart that he will respond. I look up from the computer and notice the sun is shining today. I see the front yard where I dreamed of a family playing. Only now, I see nothing. His letter said to move on, but how can I? This isn't like it was with Jake. Deep down, I guess I always knew he wasn't the one, but this time, this time I know without a doubt he was it for me, and now he's gone.

A/N

Please stay with me, next update will be with in the week.