Dave was in agony. His father had not said a word to him since they had left the principal's office and that was a good fifteen minutes ago now. Sat in the passenger's seat of his father's SUV, Dave was trying to keep himself from hyperventilating, both from fear of his father and panic about his expulsion. His father seemed to be remaining silent on purpose, deliberately letting Dave stew in his own shame and regret. He was clearly trying to keep Dave in a state of terrified anticipation and it was working. Dave was, indeed, terrified.
As they pulled into the driveway of their two-story colonial, Dave could feel the time for reckoning was imminent. He waited until his father turned off the car engine and unbuckled his seat-belt before following suit, exiting the car with an appropriately shame-faced expression. He followed his father up the brick walkway and waited demurely while he unlocked the front door. Dave then walked in the older man's wake as he made his way along their center hallway and into their living room.
Almost as soon as they crossed the threshold, Paul Karofsky issued his son a single word command: "Sit."
Dave did as he was told, lowering himself on to the edge of their sued sofa. With his hands placed awkwardly on his knees, and his head bent, Dave stared at the carpet beneath his feet while he waited for his father's impending explosion of fury. As the man took a few deep, highly audible breaths, Dave could tell he was trying to keep his anger in check, something for which he was exceedingly grateful. Although his father prided himself on being a generally restrained and understanding person, he did posses quite a temper; to be sure, it was a trait they two had in common. Finally, he spoke.
"Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on with you?"
The voice that asked this of him was quiet, clearly infuriated but also strangely pleading. Dave could tell his father was just as concerned about him as he was angry at him for this whole mess. And he knew he was not just being rhetorical with his question. Dave could tell he genuinely wanted to be let in on the secret that lay behind all of this. It was as if his father suspected, but he did not want to have to be the one who actually voiced the suspicions he was harboring.
Dave strongly sensed his father was giving him an opening, trying to ease the way for the inevitable; and he was, indeed, grateful. But something in him just could not take the offering, well-meaning as it was. To be sure, there was a part of Dave that had screamed 'YES' to his father's question almost as soon as it had been asked. Dave did want to tell someone what the hell was going on with him; in some ways, that was his fondest wish. But it simply was not that simple. The minute Dave fessed up, his whole life would be completely upended and he just wasn't ready for that. So much about his life had already been upended today, he just did not think he could handle yet another colossal upset to his world. One emotional drama at a time.
So instead of giving his father the confession he was looking for, Dave simply replied, "Dad, I'm sorry," his voice dripping with every ounce of regret he was feeling.
"What are you apologizing to me for? You should be apologizing to Kurt! Did you really threaten to kill him?"
"No, Dad, I swear it wasn't like that. I mean, I did say that to him, but I didn't mean it for real."
"Well, David, he certainly thought you meant it. So whatever you were trying to cover up with that threat, it must have been pretty bad. What have you been saying or doing to that poor boy that would make him think you would actually kill him if he told on you?"
"I…" Dave really had no idea what he could possibly say to that inquiry. He couldn't tell the truth, but he didn't think his father would allow the question to simply go unanswered, either. Dave tried to think up a plausible lie, but his brain simply would not cooperate. He remained mute while his father stared intimidatingly at him, arms crossed, face growing redder the longer he was silent.
"You've already been expelled and you're going to be grounded for a very long time no matter what you tell me, so you might as well tell me. What could possible compel you to say such a thing to him and why would he think you were serious about it, if you weren't?"
"Dad, it was just teasing that got way out of hand," Dave said, wondering if that explanation sounded as lame to his father as it did to him.
"And why were you teasing him the first place?"
This loaded question was posed to Dave in a tone of great significance. He could tell his father already knew exactly why Kurt, in particular, had been his target and he seemed determined to make Dave say it, own to it out loud. It was another opening, Dave realized, another plea for him to come out...another plea that would have to go unheeded.
"I dunno," Dave said unconvincingly, shrugging his shoulders nervously as he did so.
"Is it because he's gay?" Paul asked, his tone making it clear that this question was not really a question at all, but a statement.
The moment his father said the word 'gay' Dave could feel his face flush and his heart beat quicken. So far, today, that word had been deftly avoided, despite the fact that it was precisely what this whole mess was, and always had been, about. His father suddenly making the word explicit felt a bit to Dave like a violation of some kind, the breeching of a tacit, yet deeply solemn agreement.
"I'll take that as a yes," his father huffed a moment later, when Dave continued to avoid his gaze and remain mute. "I don't know where you got the idea that that is a good reason to make fun of someone, but you certainly didn't get it from me or anyone else in this house. I can only assume this has something to do with your friends, in which case, you might want to consider that they are not really good friends to you, if you have to pick on other people in order to impress them."
Dave felt a strange resentment for his father at this pronouncement. While he could not deny that his friends were a driving force behind many of the incidences which had gotten him into trouble of late, he also still felt a genuine camaraderie with them. They made him feel cool and included, and he did share many interests with them, including football. Dave, by and large, liked his friends, even though he knew they could sometimes be quite mean, and sometimes made him quite mean. For his father to suggest that it was as simple as just deciding they were not good influences, and subsequently withdrawing his friendship from them, was, Dave felt, overly simplistic. That was not how friendship worked; it was more complicated than that.
"In any event, you won't have worry about that much longer because we'll be enrolling you in a new school by the end of the week. You're also grounded for at least the next two months," he continued, almost absently.
Dave whipped his head up to look at his father, as the older man turned to leave the room. Not able to contain his acute panic at this pronouncement, Dave stood up quickly and pleaded, his voice infused with emotion, "Wait!"
His father turned back to look at him, and Dave dropped his gaze briefly before hedging, cautiously, "The principal said we could appeal to the school board – overturn the expulsion."
"And why should your mother and I go to the trouble of a pleading your case at a school board hearing when you've already quite clearly demonstrated that you don't deserve it?"
Dave knew this was the breaking point. If he did not manage to make his case adequately to his father right here, right now, the chance would be lost to him forever. He had one shot, and somehow, far from making him nervous, that simply made his mind very calm and clear.
"Dad, I'm really, really sorry about what happened with Kurt. I swear to God I am. It won't ever happen again, I promise. I feel awful about threatening him and making him feel scared. What I did to him was horrible and it made me feel horrible and I don't want it to be that way anymore. I want to make it up to him. Please. Please."
Dave meant it, too. Every last word. For the first time that whole afternoon, he had been allowed to be totally honest, and he could tell his father saw the statement for the bald truth that it was. Everything from his face, to his voice, to his pleading hands communicated nothing but genuineness and Dave knew his father could see the difference. Whatever Paul thought about the reasons for his son's bullying behavior, one thing he knew without a doubt was that his son felt deeply, earnestly sorry about it.
"Fine," Dave's father said, after a long moment of silent consideration. "I'll make an appointment with the school board tomorrow and you can tell them what you just told me. I hope, for your sake, they believe you."
Dave let out a huge sigh of relief at this pronouncement, and almost smiled.
"But don't think for a second that you feeling sorry just lets you off the hook. You're still in big trouble and you're still grounded. And David - "
His father broke off his statement to walk back across the room towards him, his index finger pointed in Dave's face to add further emphasis to his forthcoming oath.
"I swear, if I ever hear of you harassing or harming so much as one hair on that boy's head ever again, I will pull you out of that school myself, so fast that it will make your head spin. And that will be the very least of your punishments. Do you hear me?"
Dave nodded, his face the very picture of sincerity.
"I don't want to go through this with you ever again. So whatever is going on with you, you better figure out some way to deal with it that doesn't involve bullying other people. Are we clear?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Now go upstairs and unplug your X-Box and your TV and bring them down here. I'm confiscating them until further notice."
Dave simply nodded and walked purposefully towards the stairs to do as his father asked. He wasn't even particularly upset about it. He still had a fighting chance at staying enrolled at McKinley. Everything else in his life was gravy compared to that. He would gladly give up his video games, his TV, his socializing privileges, hell, he would even have given up football without too much fuss if that had been what his father demanded as recompense for his misdeeds.
Dave needed to be near to Kurt. Everything else in his life was expendable. The thought of being separated from the other boy had been a horrific prospect for Dave to contemplate, and he would have given up pretty much anything his father asked in order to remain near to the object of his obsession. Kurt was the only thing in his life that Dave truly could not bear to part with. Next to the beautiful, magnetic boy, his TV was nothing.