„Why do you think you have to take care of me," Addison asked him and somehow he looked astonished.

"You now that I didn't mean that you have to be taken care of …," she tries to say lou enough. Too well he knows that there is no need for it, he knows that she is good on her own but maybe she was wondering. He didn't mean it like she needs him, no way, but maybe he had his hopes up. Maybe Derek really hoped that she would need him.

"Hey … don't be shocked," she said softly, caressing his chin with her fingers, "I was just curious."

Curious usually means that she wants to know what was up with him, why he said things.

Together they move upstairs to go to bed. When Addison pushed him playfully on the bed, he smiled. Slowly she straddled him. There is a sexy smile on her lips. He studied her face. She seems to be happy, really happy. Her lips looked so soft, so soft and pink. Her outgrowing hair is caressing her neck. Her eyes were greenish this time, pupils dilated. He always loved her Roman nose. She wasn't wearing makeup anymore and he loved her so naturally.

"So," she said with a smile on her lips, her hand pressing softly against his chest. He was on his back, she was sitting over his pelvic. "So, you love me?"

"Of course I do," he replied with a smile on his lips. He loved her that way, playful. Sexy. Arousing.

Softly she unbuttoned the first button of his dress shirt she was wearing. They had eye contact the whole time. He didn't know where to look first – her eyes or the revealing chest.

When she had the shirt unbuttoned to her belly button, his hands still on her hips, she softly caressed his chest through the t-shirt.

"And you like those," she said later on, pulling his hands towards her exposed breasts.

"No…"

"No?"

"I do not like those, I love them. They are still like when we first met. I love the way your nipples …"

"God, Derek …," she chuckles and blushes. It always happened when he said something naughty towards her and those words haven't even been really naughty.
Derek pushed the shirt from her shoulders and made her lean towards him so he could unfasten the bra. She sat up and had to feel his erection pressed against her butt.

"Those are perfect, you know. Round and heavy, the perfect nipples on top which I love to pucker… like now. And there is still the small birth mark under your left breast," he said and let his fingers dance towards it. "You are so sensitive there." He could watch her close her eyes and take a deep breath when his fingers outlined her breasts.

"You are so beautiful."

"Derek, you want to make me blush."

He longed to be in her in this very moment. He wanted to watch her rise above him and sink down again. He wanted to see her heavy breathing, feel her hands on his thighs when she bent backwards so he would move over her g-spot. He wanted to tuck her nipples before she came to push her over the edge.

"No, I don't want to make you blush beautiful, I just want to make you mine."

"I am already yours, Derek. I am and will always be."

"You make me so hard."

"I can feel it," she said and let his hand dance over his erection before she grabbed him harder. "And I love it. I love the idea that I can still make you hard."

"I am dancing around you in a state of arousal day by day."

She smiled and let his lips brush against his in a soft and slow kiss, passionate. Derek's hands cupped her breasts slowly, kneading them. She moaned into his mouth.

"You know," he said when they parted, "that you have the most perfect back, I love your muscles, the way the play when you hover over me." His hands were now outracing her spine.

"You are wearing too much, Derek."

Within seconds he was out of his shirts and trousers and she was sitting in her lace panties. His erection was hot and he didn't know how long he could handle this whole situation. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to give her much time to orgasm before him because he needed release soon.

"I want to be inside too."

"Derek, you already have been …"

"I cannot get enough of you. I want to be inside you day and night. I cannot think straight around you. And today you saved us, you saved our family."

"Derek," she said as tears welled into her eyes.

"Don't cry Addie, it was the most …. I cannot describe it. I love you so much."

"I love you too Derek."

"You were so hot when I saw you with the ultra sound, proving your point. So hot …."

Derek could feel her move over his erection, "Addie you have to stop."

"I don't want to," she said with girlish voice. "I want to be naughty."

"God …" were the only words he could say when she let her breasts brush over his chest and slowly moved southward. She pushed his boxers down, licked her lips before she let her tongue swirl over the top of his penis. "God, Addie … I won't last …," were the only words he could mumble. She was taking him in all the way, he could feel the roof of her mouth against him. She was sucking him in while her hands were playing with his testicles. He wouldn't last, not another second.

"Addie, please, I want to be inside you." But she wasn't giving him any hope to stop her torture. It was sweet torture. Her next move gave him the rest – he came hard and she didn't stop the licking, sucking and swirling her tongue over him. He screamed her name more than once while he cam

After a few minutes she was situated next to him her arm around his chest. "I love you so much, it nearly broke my heart."

"Addie?"

"You and Meredith … when we came back from New York."

"You never talk so open about your feelings."

"Maybe this was the mistake the first time. I want things to work out. I want us to be a family."

"God, Addie," he said and pulled her towards him. Slowly he started to kiss her but she broke away.

"Not everything is about sex Derek. I love to have sex with you, it is incredible but … I want more. I want you."

"But you have me."

"I want to be held."

"I will hold you."

"Will?"

"I want to be inside you."

"You have been inside me."

"Again."

"You are ready again," she whispered softly into his ear.

"Always."

"But at your age," she said with a giggle and a second later he was tickling her, they rolled from one end of the bed the other and laughed.

"Hey, you are not that much younger than I am," he replied with a full belly laugh.

They fell asleep without sleeping together another time in each others arms. He held her like she would run away during the night but she wasn't. He watched her sleeping form for hours; he loved her face, her hands and the way her breasts were pressed against his chest. So perfect. Too perfect. Derek loved to sleep with her but their relationship shouldn't just be about sex, it should be a trustful relationship in which you can talk about everything or just cuddle up on the sofa for a night.

~*~

"Mama," Oliver giggled while spitting out his breakfast again.

"Honey you have to eat this."

"Mama," he said again and refused to open his mouth afterwards.

Derek watched the scene from the door. His wife was dressed in a flimsy silk robe which had already fallen open a little but wasn't reveling much – unfortunately he thought. Just watching the top of her breasts made him already slightly hard and he asked himself how was going to work around her.

"Sweaty open your mouth and eat something…. I can't wait the moment to come when you eat on your own."

"Hopefully this wont be too soon because I love watching you …" Then she turned around and noticed Derek in the doorway.

"I think that this isn't that thrilling."

"But I love watching you, especially in a slight furious state like this."

"I am not furious."

"No but shortly before telling him that he won't get breakfast at all."

Her look said that he was right, she was shortly before telling the little boy that this was his last chance to get something to eat before lunch.

"You know Addie, sometimes I feel like I could wake up every minute and all this had been a dream."

"I know what you are talking about."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I don't think that the time is right for some intimate talk. They are having breakfast and …"

"If it is that what you want to push it to dinner."

"Thanks. So, handsome, can you try your smile on him and make him eat because I have to get dressed."

Derek walked towards her, let his hands rest on her shoulders. "I like what you wear," he whispered into her ear and let his breath touch the skin under her hear, let his hands softly wander around her waist. "I like the way robes can fall open."

"Derek," she said with a deeper voice than usually, her breathing slightly enhanced.

~*~

The tension at Seattle Grace's was bearable but not much more. Cristina wouldn't talk to Derek nor ask to scrub in on any of his surgeries. There were seconds he felt like the things that happened to Meredith had been his fault but he knew that it wasn't like it. This hysterical pregnancy was not his fault. He told her to back off, he told her that he wanted (and still wants) his marriage to work. Didn't he even say that he is in love with Addison?

"Have a minute," he heard Baileys voice and suddenly fell back to earth from his state of trance.

"Sure."

"Addie isn't herself today."

"How do you mean?"

"The interns … I think it was Cristina who talked to them and make her bully Addison. You know not high school bullying but well, get out of her way, not work with her …"

"And does she care?"

"Think so."

"She feels bad about it too but it was the only way to get the truth."

"You don't have to tell me," she said in her typical Nazi tone, "I never believed in that pregnancy at all but it wasn't mine to say something."

Derek nodded. Maybe some others had noticed it too. Just not him, in the beginning. "Shall I go upstairs and talk to her?"

"I think she already left."

"But it's …" he looked at his watch and it was already 3pm, of course she had left. "Maybe I should leave earlier today too."

"You cannot. Big car accident coming in ten. We'll need a neurologist."

"There are others."

"But you are the best and there are two kids involved."

Kids. Derek told himself that Bailey always knew what made him stay. He wanted to be home, talk to Addison but eventually he would be home late, if at all. He told himself that there was no chance he would sleep in an on call room, if there was his wife waiting at home.
He wanted to talk to her about a baby. He wanted to ask her if there were any chances, if they could try something but for sure this wasn't the right moment to push her into this corner she might not be able to escape because he didn't any details about her medical conditions.

And it was midnight when he came out of the OP and he had lost the fight against a bleeding this time. Of course this was more than bugging him, he hated to lose, especially if it was about kids, innocent kids.

In a hurry he changed out of his scrubs and into street wear.

"You leaving," Karev said annoyed.

"Yep, going home to my wife."

"Ruining another life."

Derek stared at him for a second. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Meredith. You ruined her life, her career, everything."

"I didn't do a fucking thing."

"You were engaged and married another woman. You married your ex-wife and didn't even ask how Meredith was feeling! You had a married wife at home and fucked her at her house."

"Watch your mouth."

"You haven't been there with her, endless nights of crying because you abandoned her for Addison, again. You used her to have sex, even at your fucking family home, while the kids were upstairs. You have a wife; it's your matrimonial right, if you need somebody to fuck."

"I don't think that this is any of your business."

"It is because I care for Meredith. She had always been there for us and you, if I remember correctly. After you tried again with Addison years back, she was there, she took you back. She took care of you every fucking minute and didn't care what people might think, engaged to her boss for years. She didn't say a word about you being married to Addison again, playing family. She only cried, days and nights."

"I told her about the marriage."

"Telling … I mean you left in a hurry for Los Angeles, rescued two babies in New York and got married … within what? … Three days?"

Derek knew about it. He knew that this wasn't easy on him at all because his marriage could have failed too.

"Nevertheless, Dr. Karev, this is none of your business and I please you to excuse me now because I have a wife and two kids waiting for me."

At home he crawled into bed towards his wife. She hadn't been waiting but he could see that she had set the table for two and cooked. He had been hungry but in this very moment it broke his heart. He wanted to feel her body against his and show her that they weren't going to end like in New York, he came home. He knew where his home is.

"You are home," she mumbled in sleep.

"Of course I am home, honey." Derek said and pressed his naked body against his wife's. He was able to feel the warm silk against his skin.

"It's late …"

"I want to feel you."

"Derek…."

"We haven't …"

"Derek we have had sex yesterday."

"And?"

She rolled over to face him. She was smiling at him but not the sexy, you seduced me smile, but the one that says – I am glad that you are with me.

"I am still sore," she whispers softly.

"I have been too rough."

"No, no … I liked it … a lot. My body just isn't used to have sex that often with such …," not finishing the sentence she pulled his lips towards her and plunged her tongue into his mouth. Immediately his hands were on her but, pressing her body against him.

"You are insatiable," she said.

"God, Addie … I get a hard-on as soon as you are in the same room with me."

She laughed. "I don't think so."

"Why not believing me?"

"Because I can remember times …"

"I have changed. I want you. I wanted you from the day I headed to Los Angeles to get you. You have been so vulnerable. But you trusted me. You didn't even say a word when I changed you into dry cloths."

"You did …"

"Yes … I saw you naked and you didn't care. I wasn't looking at your beautiful features in this moment and this didn't arouse me but being next to you, smelling your remarkable sent, knowing that your soft skin was just a millimeter away from me … "

"Derek, don't …"

"I am addicted to you. I cannot sleep somewhere else anymore. I need to have you near me."

"God…" She probably could feel his erection pressed against her center because he could feel the wetness which was increasing.

"I need you like I need to breath."

"Hm…"

"I cannot believe that I was ever able to exist without you. That I worked without you."

"You did well, as far as I have been told."

"Crap."

"Okay …"

He slowly let the tip of his penis find its way. He rolled them over, so he was on top of her. "I cannot think straight anymore." And with that he trusted into her and she moaned. Loud.

"God you are big."

"Don't …"

"I always liked that. You can reach points in me nobody ever has been able to touch."

"My ego is blooming."

"Nothing wrong with that. Give me a second, Derek."

"I cannot move now at all if you don't want this to be over in two seconds." She laughed. "Stop it, Addie."

In the beginning his trusts were soft, long, building up tension. But she begged him to do her harder, begged and writhed under him to give her more. This was the old Addison, this was the Addison he fell in love with.

"Derek …. More … faster … harder…" How is a man about to think straight in a situation like this? Her legs had long found their way over his shoulders; his lips were locked with his while he was banging into her. It wasn't making love anymore, it was sex. Hard, real life sex.

Afterward her face was on his shoulder, her arms slung around him and a leg resting over his. His favorite position.

"I cannot remember the time we didn't have sex."

"So everything is about sex for you," Derek joked back.

She sat up and looked at him. He thought if he said something wrong, wasn't funny enough. The blanket was around her hips exposing her naked chest. He wanted to touch but he was able to tell his hands not to have a brain on their own and let her say what she had to say before touching her.

"Maybe in the beginning," Addison said staring against the opposite wall. Derek remembered the words his mother said to him, she might offer herself. "Maybe in the beginning I hoped that sex would …"

"You don't need to say anything Addie."

"I want you to know it. I want to be honest with you and not swallow things down."

"Okay … but I really don't need to know."

"I thought that with giving you sex … I didn't think that this would be so hard … I thought that if I offer you sex you will stay with me."

"I would have nevertheless."

"You don't know what I mean Derek … you touched me but I kind of pushed you away all the time but I realized that a husband has sex on a regular base, it is one of the benefits being married."

"I don't think that this is some right I have. I love you that's why I want to have sex with you."

"Now," she said and hugged her knees up to her chest.

"Always. My mom said that you would maybe offer sex but for me it was no offer. I wanted to sleep with you, I wanted to make love to you."

"Are you saying that at Christmas …"

"It was making love."

She stared at him and he could read in her eyes that she didn't believe him.

"I was glad that you finally allowed me to touch you. I wasn't sure why so suddenly but we had touched back in Seattle than too, shared a bed and fell asleep cuddled up there. I mean I really needed to touch you and if you wouldn't … I mean … I am not sure how much longer I would have survived. You going out with Callie or alone, meeting other guys, probably kissing, letting him touch you …"

"I never …"

"But it was your intention."

She didn't reply. He knew that he was right on this but also knew that she couldn't go through with her plan because she, even then, loved him.

"Don't Addison, just forget it. I love you, I always have and this wont change anything between us. Back at Christmas we made the first step to the point we are now and I don't want to miss a single second of it because everything was important, meant to be. You are the rock in my life, my constant."

"Derek…," she said, turned towards him, leaned forward and kissed him. His hands quickly found their way into her hair, holding the curtain back to study her eyes better. But those were closed.

"Look at me," he softly whispered and she opened her eyes. "Forget what happened Addison. I love you and I always will. Forget what happened, forget about the fights at work – things will smooth down again."

"They really blame me and I am about to blame but I couldn't watch her destroying my family."

"I know. And I really thank you because you have been so brave to make this step."

"Brave? I was completely out of my mind. I couldn't think straight, only that I will lose everything as soon as the baby is born."

"You really thought I'd leave you?"

"You would have and I couldn't have blamed you, your own flesh and blood."

"You can give me my own too."

"I cannot."

"There are ways."

"I don't want to talk about it now, Derek. Let's sleep."

They fell asleep together in each others arms and the following days Derek didn't dare to ask her about having a baby but he wanted to. He was waiting for the right moment to come and he knew that things wouldn't get easier if they may start with some treatments. Addison on extra hormones could complicate their marriage, her relationship to the twins and influence her work. But he told himself that it would be worth it. She always wanted a baby. Of course they had two wonderful children but those weren't his flesh and blood. He loved Oliver and Lilian but he longed to hold a newborn in his arms, see her grow with the baby over the weeks and be there for her during labor. He wanted the whole package and he knew that maybe he wouldn't be able to get it because it had to be her baby and no surrogate.