Chapter 21 - Space

I know, that I can do better
My loyalty with you is forever
I suppose, that you should know that baby
'Cause you the one that got me going crazy
Yeah, stop acting like it's okay

Ryvre POV

It was Tuesday, December fifteenth. I had been here for nine days now. My therapist was optimistic about my recovery, he believed I should be able to go home next Monday. I was thrilled. And terrified.

My father had found a therapist in Forks for me to go to. Her name was Doctor August O'Connor. Dr Conway had arranged for her to visit me this week as well. He wanted to talk to her and help with my plan of care. Either way, it was one step closer to being home.

The clock on the wall said it was almost three. I blinked and looked at it again. Paul had been coming visit me every day at two. He was never late.

Paul came to see me every day for the first week of my stay. I even started to look forward to his visits. When my parents came I almost got upset with my dad for telling the others to stay away but then I decided it was probably for the best. I could see Emily and the girls when I got home. Right now is my time to recover. I needed to focus on me for once. Paul didn't judge me or force me to talk about anything that I didn't want to. He let me ramble. He didn't treat me like I was a doll that was going to break, like my mother did. That's what I liked about his visits. He still teased me.

"Ryvre, you have a visitor," nurse April called from the doorway.

About time, I thought. I followed her to the family room. "You're late," I said as I entered, then stopped. "You're not Paul."

Jared was standing awkwardly by the couch. He gave me a pained smile. "No, I'm Jared," he joked.

I didn't move from the doorway. "What are you doing here? Where's Paul?"

"He couldn't come today, something came up," Jared said. "Will you sit with me?" He pulled a chair out and motioned to it.

Reluctantly, I crossed the room and sat down. Before I could speak, Jared blurted, "I'm sorry. That's what I came to say. I'm sorry about what I said to you at Thanksgiving. I was upset that my friend was hurt and I blamed you. I was feeling his pain as well, you know. And I lashed out when I shouldn't have, it really wasn't my business. Paul was actually so proud of you for doing what you wanted and following your dream and trying to make something of yourself but you were hurting him. And you came in Emily's house like you were a rock star or something and it pissed me off to see you so happy when Paul was in so much pain. I had no idea what you were going through and I'm sorry. I just hope you can forgive me."

He wrung his hands, staring intently at the table.

For a long time I didn't say anything. "I forgive you, Jared."

He looked up at me.

"You hurt me. I'm not going to lie. What you said really stung. Maybe I did need to hear it, I don't know. Someone needed to knock me down a peg or two. But I get why you said it," I told him quietly. "You were just looking after him. But I didn't know. No one told me what would happen. Sam tried to but Paul didn't let him. I would never do anything to hurt him on purpose."

Jared smiled at this. "He's kinda growing on you, isn't he?"

"Like mushrooms on cow shit." I scrunched my face up. "Probably not the best metaphor."

Jared just laughed, shaking his head. "I'm glad to see you're still a firecracker."

I just smiled back. "So, are you going to tell me what was so important that Paul didn't come today? He comes every day."

Jared shifted in his chair. "Pack business."

I raised an eyebrow. "What aren't you telling me?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'll tell you, but please don't freak out."

"Yeah, because those words alone aren't enough to make me freak out," I shot back.

"Ryvre, breathe. You can't get upset."

"So help me, if you don't spit it out right now I'm going to choke you, Jared."

"There were some vampires in the area last night," he said quickly. "They were looking for the Cullens or something, I don't know, Sam is still talking to Carlisle to work out the details. Anyway, Paul, Jake and Embry were on patrol. The vampires caught their scent and ambushed Embry. There were five of them. Paul got to them first and killed two of them. They had Embry on the ground but Paul showing up made the vampires focus on him. By the time Jake and Sam got there Paul was hurt pretty bad. He killed another one before he went down. Sam and Jake took out the other two. He's got some broken bones but nothing serious. Carlisle checked him and Embry out to make sure there was no internal bleeding. They're going to be fine but Sam ordered them both to rest until the bones were healed. Paul's been asleep all day as far as I know. Carlisle gave them both some sedatives to keep them from getting up too soon."

I sat staring at him in shock. "Were you going to tell me at all?"

"Sam didn't want me to. He knew it would just upset you."

Tears started to burn my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Jared was too busy staring at the table to notice them anyway. I stood up. "I'm going back to my room now," I said quietly. "Thanks for coming."

I sat in the lounge all day the next day, staring at the clock, trying to will time to move faster. After lunch, I tried reading a book but I couldn't focus on a single word.

"Ryvre," the nurse said from the doorway. "You have a visitor."

I was already out of my seat and heading toward the door. She walked me to the family room.

Paul was waiting for me. He smiled when I entered the room. "Still not a zombie, I see," he quipped.

Without replying, I walked right up to him and threw my arms around him. At first he was too stunned to move but he finally wrapped his own arms around my shoulders. "Jared told you, didn't he?"

"Yes," I said, my reply muffled.

He sighed but didn't move. Finally I pulled away and sat down at the table. "What happened?" I asked, looking him over for scratches. Of course, there were none.

Paul took the seat across from me. "They came out of nowhere and rushed Embry. I got there as fast as I could. He was on the ground, not moving. I thought he was dead. Then they attacked me but I was ready for them. I killed two of them. One of them had a mate, though. He went ballistic and I got tripped up somehow. If it weren't for Jake and Sam I might be dead by now." He went quiet for a minute. "I'm sorry I didn't visit yesterday. Sam wouldn't let me. He had the vamp doctor drug me so I would stay in bed."

I laughed. "You were injured and you're still going to apologize for not visiting me." I shook my head. "Jared was probably the worst person to send in your place. He couldn't keep a secret for shit. I would have rather not known at all. After he told me what happened all I wanted to do was leave and come see you but of course, they wouldn't let me."

"You were worried about me?" he asked. He grinned as if he were teasing but I could detect the seriousness in his eyes.

"Yes," I said honestly.

"You shouldn't be. I'm pretty tough, you know," he teased again.

I shook my head. "You're an idiot."

He smiled. "What did you do yesterday? And today? Catch me up."

"Well, let's see yesterday I woke up and had breakfast. I ate French toast and orange juice. And then we went to group. And then we went to art again. I painted a picture of you, actually."

"A picture of me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, you're in wolf form fighting a squirrel." He laughed. "The squirrel is winning."

This made him laugh harder. "I can't wait to see it."

I grinned. "We went outside for a little while. We did some yoga. It's supposed to be relaxing or whatever. Then we had lunch. I ate a salad because the chicken casserole they were serving looked like vomit. Then Jared came. I saw my therapist and we watched t.v. Then we went to bed. And then this morning I woke up and had eggs for breakfast. We played bingo. I didn't win, again. Then I did a puzzle. For lunch I had meatloaf which was actually more like a block of baked hamburger with zero flavor at all. Then I read a book and then you were here. And that's it."

Paul smiled, shaking his head. "Sounds like you had an action packed day."

"Will there ever be a time when you don't turn into a werewolf?"

He seemed caught off guard by my question. "Eventually, I guess? Why?"

"I just hate that this threat of vampires is constantly looming over us."

Paul stared at me, seeming to pick up on what I wasn't saying. "The Cullens will be gone soon enough."

"What about after?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. We didn't have vampires here for years until the Cullens showed up again. They brought all the trouble with them. If they leave, maybe we'll be left alone again but maybe not. Why are you so worried about it?"

"I just don't want anyone getting hurt anymore. I can't live in constant fear that one day you'll walk out the door and never come back," I finally admitted.

Paul studied me for a long time. "Is that what really scares you about the imprint?"

"I'm not talking about the imprint right now," I snapped. "It's not what this is about."

He backed off. "I know how to take care of myself."

"Is that why you spent all day yesterday sedated, recovering from injuries?" I shot back.

"I protected my family. They would have killed Embry if I hadn't showed up. Or invaded the town. Who knows how many people would be dead if they had decided to ravage La Push. That's why we turn into wolves. We protect our people, Ryvre," he said harshly. "I got hurt on the job but I'd rather it be me than someone else."

"What about me?" I asked, the words escaping my lips before I could stop them.

"What about you?" he snapped.

"What happens to me if something happens to you?"

This seemed to knock the wind out of him and he calmed down. "I don't know."

We stared at each other in silence until the nurse poked her head in. "Time's up, Ryvre."

"Come back tomorrow?" I asked, hopefully.

"Yeah," he agreed, standing up. "See you tomorrow."