Buried Alive – Chapter 20: Cut a Line
A/N: Happy chapter 20! Despite possibly doing damage to my health, I am updating. Because I love you. Not you specifically, but you as a reader base. That was a general 'you', not a specific 'you', you see how that works? Yeah. So, as I mentioned before, there will likely not be an update tomorrow because I will probably be literally unable to move and I'll probably just crash the minute I come home. It's my school open evening where little children from the local primary schools come and look around and decide if they want to come to my school, and I'm working in the chemistry department, which means repeating titrations over and over again to people who have no idea what I'm doing and do not appreciate how hard it is to do accurately. It's really frustrating. Song of the chapter is 'I want to kill myself by shooting myself in the face' by me. Oh, no, actually, it's something completely different. It's 'Kissing You Goodbye' by The Used. Oh dear, oh dear, my taste has gotten far too emo…
This is thinking/dreaming.
This is regular story.
This is author's note.
This is title
Warning: None, except Sasuke being emo and Suckura Whoreno being annoying. Dude, except dream sequences, there won't be any lemons until for a little while. Unless I decide to throw in a Madara x Itachi lemon…how much do you love me?
Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would be fabulously rich and probably not dying of exhaustion because school is a bitch and I do too much. So don't sue me, please! I can't fit a lawsuit or any court hearings into my schedule! It's already pretty full! The only days off I have anymore are Tuesdays and Sundays…grumblegrumble…
oO..Oo..oO..Oo
Trust to take the right to leave me
Waiting under dark clouds for the rain
Praying lightning strikes a change
As history gets lost
And as I took that final breath I felt alive
Meeting God to stand in line
oO..Oo..oO..Oo
I must have blacked out at some point, though I vaguely recall the rhythm of Kakashi's footsteps as he carried me and the voices of various other people, usually calling my name or talking too quietly for me to hear. I didn't really want to hear anyway.
The next coherent point was waking up to a pair of big green eyes, a little too close to my face for comfort. I hated to think what the owner of those eyes was doing so close to my face in the first place.
"Sasuke-kun! You're awake!" Sakura squeaked, blushing and moving her face away from mine, a sickly sweet smile plastered across her face
"Thanks for pointing that out, Sakura," Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "Welcome back, Sasuke,"
I sat up, looking around. I was back in my bedroom in Konoha. The walls were still white, the Uchiha fan was still stuck to the wall, and my furniture was all in the same place. It was like waking up from a very odd dream.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, scanning the room with drowsy eyes. Sakura was perched next to me on my bed, hands clasped in her lap and a blush still visible on her cheeks. Kakashi leant against the far wall, little orange book still in hand.
"A few hours. It's almost midnight," I glanced at the window. True enough, a waning moon rose above the trees in the not so distant forest. For a moment I wondered if Itachi was somewhere in those trees, watching and waiting for me to-
What could I do? Did I want to go back to him, or did I try to rebuild my life here in Konoha? Abandoning me again and barely fighting Kakashi before retreating gave the impression he was leaving me for Konoha on purpose. Knocking me out made me a victim rather than a villain, even though if they knew what I had done I would be locked up in a flash.
"You should both head home; you don't need to stick around. I'll just go back to sleep," I yawned for emphasis, suddenly anxious for them to go away again. These were the people I had robbed the worst. I felt guilt claw at my heart being near them, especially when they were being kind to me.
"You have a slight concussion from the shuriken. I'm here to wake you every four hours, and Sakura insisted on coming with me. I thought you'd want to wake up to a familiar face in your own bed rather than in a hospital," Kakashi said, turning a page, though his eye didn't follow the writing. "Sakura, you should go home. I need you awake tomorrow,"
"Alright," she pouted. "See you tomorrow, Sasuke-kun!" She practically skipped out of the door, banging it shut on the way out. When the front door slammed, Kakashi shut his book. He was going to say something serious, and it could only be about Naruto. Was he about to accuse me of killing him? No, or I would be locked up in a cell or dead in a ditch somewhere. Was he about to ask me for information on Akatsuki? It's not like I knew anything of importance, anyway.
"Sasuke. Since you have been gone, something happened. Something that affected you, me and Sakura very personally," Oh gods, he didn't know I knew. I had to fake it, or dredge up all the broken emotions I hadn't let myself feel at the time, or he'd know something was wrong. "Naruto – Naruto's dead, Sasuke. He was killed on a mission looking for you. A kunai to the heart, we don't know who, but whoever did it is going to pay. Slowly," A glint of something truly terrifying appeared in his eye, accompanied by intense sadness.
"B-but it's Naruto. How can he die?"
"Even he wasn't indestructible,"
"I don't want to believe it,"
"I'll take you to the memorial stone when you're all clear on the head injury,"
"But it's Naruto,"
"Even Naruto wasn't immune to death, no matter how alive he was. It's death, Sasuke. It catches up with all of us eventually. We're ninja; we're living on borrowed time. One of these days I won't dodge an attack fast enough or I'll fall into the wrong trap and I won't come out again. So will you. So will every ninja in this village, except the lucky few who live long enough to retire. For all the power we have, we're only human, in the end," Kakashi spoke softly, philosophically, staring at the wall above my head. "I'll let you get some sleep. See you in four hours,"
He walked out of the room, and I closed my eyes, willing myself to go back to sleep, but it wouldn't come. Instead, I lay there half awake with images of Itachi and Naruto, melding and forming into a blob of regret that weighed heavily on my psyche.
Yes, death was a part of me as a ninja. It was my job to complete missions, and if killing was a part of it, then so be it. But when it was Naruto, and when I specifically went against orders and killed him, it was different. Death was a part of me, murder wasn't.
I briefly wondered how other murderers managed to conceal their crimes. They dug holes and buried the body, or took it far away and burned it and scattered the ashes to the wind, or threw it into a river or ocean, or fed it to wild animals. Then they went home and continued to live their lives like normal.
Yes, that's what I would do. I'd try to live my life normally, going back to being a member of team seven, even if Naruto was gone. I'd work hard because Itachi had given me the opportunity to go back, even at the cost of having any kind of relationship with him. If it was what he wanted, I would do it. It would be good for me, too. Provided no one found out about my brief stint in a criminal organisation, my murders or my sexual relationship with my own brother, I would be fine.
Four hours of brooding later, Kakashi stuck his head round the door to check that I was still alive. I almost wished I wasn't, but death by concussion was a terribly feeble way to go.
The collection of gifts was gone from the top of my dresser. Someone had removed them, possibly taken away for evidence or something. I missed their presence. It was like Itachi had never come back, and like the last few days never happened.
But I knew they happened. I could feel it, a perverse longing to be back outside the walls of Konoha with Itachi, to be back underground or over ground, anywhere so long as I could be near him. Although the betrayal still stung, I still wanted to be near him. He was magnetic. And I couldn't help but crave him, crave his body.
Once again, I felt guilt pierce my heart. It was because of Itachi that I had left, and that I had killed Naruto. Still, I was the one wholly to blame for Naruto's death. I was the one holding the kunai, and I was the one standing over the corpse. I was the one that had benefitted from his death in obtaining the Mangekyou Sharingan, and once again I was dependant on Itachi. I needed him to train me to use the Mangekyou Sharingan. I was horribly unsafe to be around without the training.
But regardless of training, orders or guilt, I would stay in Konoha for Itachi and live.
Although death was sort of preferable, it was all for Itachi. It was always all for Itachi.
oO..Oo..oO..Oo
A/N: Yes, it's terribly feeble and pathetic, but I'm dying over here. I have to memorise a whole bunch of French and there's no way in hell I'll be able to because my brain shut down about four hours ago and I've just been kind of grinding this out. I can't manage a full chapter, sorry! Not a great excuse, but at least I moved the plot along a bit. And we got an appearance of our favourite pink haired character, Sakura! Yay! *shoots self in head*. Still, I want to take this author's note to remind you that there will not be any updates tomorrow because I will be sleeping, likely covered in acid burns and probably with metal embedded in my fingers again, which I will have to dig out with a knife or a razor blade at a later date with much pain because I'm just that hardcore. That is, if I don't kill myself first by stabbing myself through the eye socket with a burette. I would also like to take this opportunity to ask you to review :3 reviews make me a happy little bunny!