Isobel had been delighted to hear of Mary and Matthew's plan. She had given them the names of quite a few charities that she had worked with in the past, and Mary and Matthew had looked over them and investigated what the easiest and best way for them to proceed would be.
They decided to go to an orphanage that Isobel had named for them in London. It had been a while since Mary had been to London, and so she was happy to have an excuse to go there. They chose to wait a few weeks after returning from Ireland, to prepare themselves and prepare a nursery. It was also, partially to give the family time to get used to their proposal; of course it was odd, but they were both so firm in their choice that there was no talking them out of it. For a few weeks, they waited to go to London. It was nice, they had to admit, to have the rest.
Although rest was not exactly what they had in mind.
He was sweaty, though pleasantly so, and he held Mary in his arms after some enjoyable exertions.
"That was fun," Mary murmured pleasantly. "It seems to get better and better."
"Well it's always better when I don't have to ruin it when I'm in pain," Matthew replied. His tone was light enough, but a bitterness was barely concealed underneath.
Mary brushed his hair away from him face. "You didn't, today, though. How is it?"
"I can hardly feel it today."
She smiled and bent down to kiss him. "And it'll only get better from here. Now, I guess we'll have to face them again, once they've had time to think about our announcement."
"Do you think they support us?"
"I think so," Mary said.
Matthew pushed himself up on his elbows. "Then we'll go soon?"
"You're eager."
He blushed. "I've always wanted to be a father. I suppose I never dreamed it would happen this way, but I certainly don't mind." He stared at the ceiling, a distant smile on his face. "Mary?"
"Yes?"
"What... what kind of a child do we want? I know if we were having a biological one, we wouldn't get to choose, but we kind of have to choose. So how old, what gender, all of that?"
Mary pressed her lips together. "It's probably easier when you don't have to choose."
Matthew rubbed her shoulder tenderly. "Probably, but we do have to choose. And so we'll take advantage of our choices. I want an infant, but perhaps not a newborn infant. What about that?"
"Six to ten months, about," Mary decided. "Old enough to sleep through the night, young enough to always know us as their parents."
"And gender?"
Mary blinked. "I don't know."
She was thinking about George, he knew. How they were replacing George, in a way. And maybe she was thinking about the earldom, how it could never belong to their child. "I've always wanted a little girl," Matthew said.
"Perfect," Mary replied, her voice soft. "A little girl."
"And a war orphan," he added. "There are so many and..."
"I understand," Mary said.
Matthew didn't have to say anything else. He just pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I love you. So much. The mother of my future child."
"Well, father of my future child," Mary said, and to her surprise, she felt no bitterness in her voice, "shall we sleep? Or will you pleasure me again?"
He grinned. "We don't need to sleep quite yet."
Back in Ireland, Sybil and Tom embraced each other warmly in their new flat. They had both fallen asleep in the middle of the day. No one would care. It was, after all, their honeymoon. Sybil had refused an expensive honeymoon, instead telling Tom she just wanted to be with him.
Tom gratefully agreed.
They barely left the bed in the week they had given themselves, and they certainly never dressed properly. It wasn't so much that they were making love at every moment, although they did plenty of that. It was just the intimacy of being with each other, totally exposed and totally happy.
Sybil began to blink as she noticed the light streaming in through the dirty window in their room. Tom was still asleep. She peered at their clock. It was three in the afternoon. It was an odd time to be sleeping, but she didn't put much stock into it.
Tom's arm was around her, so tight that she could barely escape his grasp. She was so comfortable, she didn't want to.
This wasn't the honeymoon she had dreamed about. No, she had heard Mama's tales of a lavish honeymoon in Greece, where her parents had gone out ever night to the beaches or to beautiful historical sites. They had actually made it out of their hotel room, and Sybil assumed she would do the same.
No, this was not the honeymoon she had anticipated.
This was so much better.
It was a part of London Mary most certainly had never been to, and by the look on Matthew's face, she figured he'd never been there either. It was much poorer, obviously. Soot covered the rickety buildings and the children in the streets were dressed in little better than rags. They didn't seem to notice or care about the cab driving toward them.
The cab reached a brick building that would have been nice enough were it not dilapidated and covered in soot. "This is it, ma'am, sir," the cab driver said. "Would you like me to wait out here?"
Mary glanced around the area. There were no other cabs in sight. "Yes, please," she said. She felt out of place, in her elegant clothes and probably holding more money in her purse than several of the families had at all.
She came around to the other side and helped Matthew get out. He almost bristled at it, murmuring that it should be the other way around, but Mary knew the height of the car made it hard to exit, and she didn't want her husband hurting himself anymore.
"So this is it?" he asked, stepping beside her.
Mary sighed. "I don't suppose there were any nicer places in London."
"You can hardly hear orphanage and believe it to be something akin to a five star hotel," Matthew said, rolling his eyes.
"Part of me can't believe I'm here. The old me would never have even come to this part of London, let alone think about adopting a child from here. Maybe taking in the child of a deceased friend as a ward, but certainly not.."
"Do you really miss the old you?
Mary pursed her lips. "Sometimes. Very rarely though, especially now."
"I'm glad to hear it, because I love you as you are," Matthew said. He motioned to the steps at the front of an orphanage. "What are we waiting for?"
They made their way up the front steps and rang the doorbell. They waited a good two minutes before a frazzled looking woman, with a young child on her hip and another hiding behind her skirts, opened the door. "Hello?" she asked. She appraised her visitors critically. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen people dressed so elegantly, not out here.
"We're here to adopt a child," Mary said gently.
The woman's eyebrows raised. "Really?"
"Didn't Isobel Crawley write to you? To arrange it?" Matthew asked.
"Ah, yes. Of course. Well in that case, come into the sitting room. I'll be with you in just a second, Ann has to be put down for a nap and I think Winifred slipped outside again. I'll get my helper to wrangle the rest of them." She led Mary and Matthew to a small sitting room, much cleaner than the rest of the place, with a shabby but neat couch and a few straight backed chairs. "Thank you for being patient," she said, and she rushed off again.
Matthew carefully sunk down onto the couch, letting out a sigh of relief. Mary glanced over him critically. He held up a hand in response. "I'm fine. The jolting on the train didn't help me any, but really, I'm alright."
"I wish I could believe you," Mary said softly. She slipped her hand into his. "At least this won't last forever. I just wish it wasn't so hard."
He cast his eyes down to the floor. "Believe me, so do I. But pain is far better than not being able to feel at all."
The door to the sitting room opened and the frazzled woman entered. "I'm so sorry about that. I'm Jane Collier." She held out a hand for Matthew to shake, and then Mary, and introductions were spread all around. "We don't get many people looking to adopt. Most of these kids either age out of the orphanage or get taken in by distant family. Why did you decide to come here?"
"I'm infertile," Mary said quietly.
Matthew reached for her hand. "It's possible that I am, too. But we both thought that instead of longing for a child, we should take action and give a better life to one who has no parents. Especially if they were... orphaned because of the war." Matthew gripped his cane that was propped by his side. "I fought, which is why were were hoping to adopt a war orphan, if you would happen to know."
Ms. Collier's eyes fell to Matthew's cane. "Will you be able to provide for your family, Mr. Crawley?"
"This isn't permanent," Matthew said. "I'm still in recovery. But I am a lawyer, and that profession doesn't require anything strenuous."
"He's the heir to the Earl of Grantham as well," Mary pointed out. She knew Matthew didn't like that connection being used, but it was unavoidable at would put to rest any fears that Ms. Collier might have.
Ms. Collier, unsurprisingly, was impressed. "I'm sure any of the children here would be happy to find a home with you. I know it's difficult to choose a child because they're real humans, with feelings, but do you have any idea what age or gender you might want?"
"A girl, and we were hoping six to ten months old?" Matthew said.
Ms. Collier nodded. "I think I know who. I'll go get her."
Mary and Matthew waited again, and shared a silent laugh at Ms. Collier's obvious unease with them.
"I'm sorry she made you feel... inadequate in any way," Mary said softly
Matthew fiddled with his cane. "I'm used to it at this point. But I'm looking forward to the day when I'll no longer be so. Anyway, that doesn't matter now."
Just then, Ms. Collier returned with another baby on her hip.
"This is Emily," she said, entering the room. "Her father and mother were quite young, they got married in the last year of the war. Her mother got pregnant on the same leave and her father died in battle soon after. Her mother gave birth to her and died a month or so later of the flu. Emily is eight months old. That's all I know about where she comes from, but she's a perfectly sweet girl so far."
Matthew reached out for the little girl and Ms. Collier tentatively allowed him to hold her. To her surprise (and Mary's), he seemed to be quite the natural with the little girl. She settled down in his arms and immediately laid her head against his shoulder.
"She likes you," Ms. Collier said, looking almost relieved. It was the happiest Mary had seen her.
Matthew looked into Emily's eyes. They were bright blue, like his own, but her downy hair was a lovely light brown. "Hi, Emily," Matthew said softly. "I'm Matthew. But you won't call me that. You'll call me Papa, because I'm going to be your Papa."
Emily babbled something in apparent approval.
"She's quite the talker right now," Ms. Collier commented.
Matthew took Emily under her arms and turned her so that she was facing Mary. "And look," he whispered into her ear. "That's your Mama now. Isn't she beautiful? And we'll both love you very much."
He looked at Mary and she was starting to well up.
"Is Emily alright or..." Ms. Collier began
Mary shook her head. "I think Matthew is in love with her already."
To prove her point, Matthew was already bouncing the little girl on his lap and making faces at her.
"I'm glad. It's always nice to see these kids go to loving homes. I just hope..."
"What?"
Ms. Collier sighed. "I hope the 'shine' of having a new baby doesn't wear off. I hate to see any of them neglected."
"Emily will never be neglected," Mary said.
Matthew heard Mary's comment and turned his attention from the little girl for one moment. "No, she'll never be neglected." He immediately began to play with Emily again.
Ms. Collier nearly smiled. "Good."
"I'm glad Anna is here," Mary said, lounging on the bed of their London hotel room. "I know we don't want a nanny all the time, but you have to admit, neither of us know much about childcare."
Matthew sat in the chair by the window, cradling a sleeping Emily in his arms. "Does Anna know much about childcare?"
"She took care of a few younger siblings," Mary said. "She certainly knows more than you or I do."
He conceded to this, and put a hand on the head of the sleeping baby. "She's so beautiful," he whispered softly. "I'm so glad she's ours."
Mary sat up. "Is she really ours, though? Is she ever going to wonder why she isn't ours? I don't know what to tell her when she asks. And I wish..."
"She's ours, Mary. As much as any child of yours and mine could be. I knew it the minute I laid eyes on her, and I already love her so much, as soppy as that sounds," Matthew said, leaning down to kiss Emily's forehead. "I know you wish that things were different, and while I do too, mostly for your sake and for your father's, I don't care about all that. Not when I have this. Not when I have my two beautiful women."
She rolled off the bed and made her way to where Matthew was sitting. Matthew moved Emily to one arm and invited Mary to sit in his lap.
"Can you handle the both of us?" she asked tentatively, referring to him physically.
Matthew laughed, understanding the spirit and the underlying meaning of her words. "Of course I can. I've learned my way around Crawley women."
"Is Emily a Crawley woman now?" Mary asked, gently sitting on his lap.
"Of course she is," he replied gently. He moved Emily into Mary's arms. "There. See, she's happy to be with her mama."
Mary looked down at Emily and began to break into a smile. "At first, I didn't understand how you could love her this much already, since you barely knew her. But looking at her, holding her in my arms, I understand."
"My beautiful girls," Matthew murmured, and he kissed both of the women in his life.
All the servants lined up to greet Mary and Matthew and Emily as they came home. Some were excited, some had doubts, but they were all there, in front of the house.
The car pulled up and Mary got out, holding Emily in her ams, and waited patiently for Matthew to get out. "This is quite a grand welcome for such a little one," Matthew said, patting Emily's head.
"She is our daughter," Mary replied, smiling. She took Emily to greet Carson first. "Emily, this is Carson. He loves me very much, and I love him very much, and I'm sure you'll both love each other very much."
Carson wasn't sure what to make of Mary's unorthodox method of becoming a mother, but of course he couldn't resist smiling at Emily, raising his eyebrows and making the little girl laugh. "She's quite adorable, milady," Carson said with assent.
Mary grinned and led the way inside, with her husband and the rest of the servants and the family trailing after her.
Once everyone was seated in the library, Mary allowed her father to hold the little girl. Both Emily and Robert were quite uncomfortable with the arrangement, and Emily began to cry. Cora also tried to hold Emily, but she wouldn't stop crying. Finally, Mary took Emily back and gave her to Matthew.
"Matthew seems to have the magic touch with her," Mary said. Sure enough, Emily's tears were drying. "She'll get used to all of you in a while, it just takes a little time. She wasn't sure about me at first either."
Matthew bounced his daughter on his lap. "She really likes being held, so once she trusts you, she won't let you put her down."
"Have you found a nanny yet?" Cora asked.
Mary pursed her lips and glanced at her husband. "We were just thinking we wanted a nanny who worked nights and maybe a little bit in the day. It was our compromise. Matthew didn't want a nanny at all, but I'm afraid he doesn't realize that our sleep will suffer if she's in our room. So just someone to stay with her during the night, and watch her in the day when we need her."
"That's quite unconventional," Robert said.
Matthew shrugged. "We've never been conventional, and I don't want our daughter raised entirely by nannies and governesses."
"I'm afraid people will see such an adoption as rather odd..." Robert said.
Mary shook her head. "I don't care. We want children, I'm fairly certain most people are aware that there's some sort of infertility problem between us, and we want to break the entail."
Robert's eyes opened wide. "You what?"
"We want to break the entail," Matthew repeated after his wife. "I told you we'd have to do a private bill in Parliament, and it would only be passed if the estate was in danger. Well, the estate is in danger. There are no heirs after me. The title will die, yes, but what about the estate. We're proposing that uncertainty as the danger of the estate."
"I wish you had consulted me."
"Of course, I was going to, but it was just something Mary and I had discussed at length. But having Emily here... It suddenly seems much more important."
Robert looked as his daughter and his heir with uncertainty. "We'll discuss it."
The library door opened and Robert could hear the sound of a voice inside. He was unsurprised to see it was Matthew, reclined on the couch, a book in one hand and Emily snuggled against his chest. He was reading to her, his voice soft, then suddenly louder, higher, then lower, and different accents made appearances.
Robert observed this for a minute, not wanting to spoil Matthew's time with his daughter. He felt, however, that he must interrupt. "Cymbeline. Not one of Shakespeare's more popular plays," he commented.
"I didn't quite appreciate at first, but the resolution is something quite astounding," Matthew replied, looking up. A faint blush lit his cheeks.
"She's a little young for Shakespeare, don't you think?" Robert motioned to Emily, who stared at him with dark, stoic eyes.
Matthew put the book on the table beside him and groaned as he sat up on the couch, all the while keeping Emily firmly in his grasp. "You're never too young for Shakespeare. My parents started giving them to me when I was three."
Robert sat down with a laugh. "Quite highbrow for a girl who's all of nine months."
"She likes it when I do the voices," Matthew defended. He brought his arm closer around Emily and kissed her head. "You like it, darling, don't you."
Emily beamed up at him with a toothless grin. If anything, she just loved it when Matthew gave her loving attention, but either way, she was content.
"She's very sweet," Robert observed.
Matthew smiled and glanced at Emily again. "Yes, she is. Would you like to hold her?"
Robert nodded hesitantly. "Of course, if you..."
"Take her," Matthew replied. He held Emily upright, and Robert stood to take her from him. "Thank you," Matthew breathed, and he sat back against the cushions of the couch. "I didn't want to get up while holding her, I don't trust my balance enough yet."
Robert smiled weakly and began to bounce Emily up and down. She stared at him, unsure if she liked him or not. "Everything is getting better, though?"
"I should be as back to normal as it gets in the next few months," Matthew answered. "So, yes."
Robert nodded and managed a smile at Emily, who gave him a shy smile back. "You really love her, don't you?"
"Which her?"
"Emily, Mary, both of them, I guess."
Matthew blinked. "More than anything in this life."
"I can see that," Robert said. He shook his head. "I'm sorry about... what I said to you. About Mary, and about having children. I was so sad for both of you, that you could never... But now, seeing you with Emily, and loving her so much, I realize that you and Mary have made the right decisions and this is what is right for you."
"I quite agree. And I'm glad you see it as such."
"Break the entail," Robert said. "I never wanted to, but I know you're capable of it. And I know it's important to you."
Matthew smiled. "It is important. I'm glad you support us."
Robert once again glanced at Emily, and kissed her forehead gently. Emily beamed. "I have the most beautiful granddaughter, don't you agree?"
Matthew grinned at Emily. "Only if you agree that I have the most beautiful daughter."
Sybil bounced up the stairs to the flat, her sweater pulled tight around her. Tom wouldn't be home for a few hours yet, but she couldn't wait to see him.
Life in Dublin hadn't been easy; Sybil had struggled to find a job as an English aristocrat with very little nursing training. Her practical experience had finally convinced a hospital for wounded veterans needing longtime care to take her on. The work was hard and unrewarding, and it didn't pay well, but Sybil loved it and she worked as hard as she possibly could. In three months, she had already become well respected among the staff
It was her day off, on Wednesday, and so she was at a loss for what to do with herself after her doctor's appointment.
She sat on the couch, simply waiting, and thinking.
After what seemed like forever, the door to their flat opened and Tom walked in. He barely had a chance to set down his briefcase before Sybil bounded into his arms. "I have the most wonderful news to tell you," she said excitedly.
Tom raised an eyebrow. "Go for it, then."
"Well, I've suspected it for quite a while, but I wasn't totally sure, so I went today and..."
"Sybil," Tom said gently, "just tell me what it is."
Her eyes began to well up. "I'm pregnant."
He drew in a sharp breath and his own eyes grew wide. "You are?"
"Yes," Sybil said, a laugh escaping her lips. "I really am. I'm about ten weeks gone, they said. The baby should come in April, they think."
Tom put his hand to Sybil's stomach, still unchanged. "Our child is in there."
Sybil grinned. "Yes. Our child."
Neither of them could hold it in any longer, and their lips touched almost instantly.
Mary was somber that gray October day, and everybody knew why. Except, of course, for Emily, who was irate that her mother wasn't responding to anything she did. She babbled on in her own language to Mary, but Mary hardly took notice.
Matthew came home early that day, to a quiet wife and a sobbing daughter. "Emily," he said softly, picking his daughter up and bouncing her in his arms, "your mama is very sad today. Don't you worry, she'll be happy again."
"Actually," Mary said, her voice hard, "I want to show her something."
"Of course." Matthew kept Emily close to him and followed Mary out into the gardens. It wasn't quite raining, but the gloom was threatening a downpour and Emily shivered. Matthew wrapped his arms tighter around Emily.
Mary stopped in front of a tree and stared at a carved stone under it. It just had the date on it. October 12, 1911.
"This is your big brother," Mary whispered. She didn't look at Emily, keeping her eyes trained on the stone as they began to fill. "This is George. He would have been eight today. He only lived for two minutes, but I loved him very much, the same as I love you very much. I'm the only person who remembers him, so I'll tell you all about him so that you can remember him when I am gone. And then you will love him as well. Does that sound right, Emily?"
Emily, of course, didn't know exactly what Mary was talking about, but she saw the sadness in her mother's eyes. She squirmed in Matthew's arms, reached toward Mary, and said, "Mama." It was faint and somewhat garbled. but she said it.
Mary was not one for crying, but this made her sob, and she took Emily and held her close. "Her first word," she murmured.
Matthew patted his wife's back and rubbed his daughter's head. "I'm so proud of both of you."
"It's just... I never thought I would hear that, not after George," Mary explained, through her sniffles. "It's real, I really am a mother."
"And you're sure you're fine with having the baby here?" Tom asked, his arm around Sybil as they relaxed on the couch of their flat. "I mean, of course I would love to have the baby born in Ireland but if you'd feel more comfortable doing it back at Downton..."
Sybil rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm certain. I want to have the baby here. Besides, you know Mary and Matthew are coming, because I did want some family here."
"Good," Tom said. "Good. But are you sure you didn't want family with more... experience of childbirth?"
"Mary has experience." At Tom's confused look, she explained, "Her first husband, Patrick, who died on the Titanic? They had a little boy, but he died a few minutes after he was born and Mary couldn't..."
Tom nodded in understanding. "Don't worry, I won't bring it up." He paused. "Will we get a chance to meet Emily when they come?"
"I certainly hope so. I know it was something they were undecided on. Matthew wanted to bring her, but Mary wasn't so sure. I encouraged her to bring Emily, but then again, it might be a challenge if they're staying here, which I want them to."
"A challenge for Mary, perhaps, but I'm certain the rest of us won't find it too difficult."
Sybil was about to protest, but she had to concede. "Mary is better about such things, but as much as I love her, she's not... exactly adaptable. She's proven herself more adaptable than I ever would have imagined, though."
"And you've proved yourself adaptable beyond anyone's wildest dreams."
Sybil snuggled up to Tom, who placed a large and gentle hand on her stomach. "I love it here."
"I'm glad. Because I love it even more with you."
Turns out this chapter is on time for many reasons, but anyway, you didn't have to wait an extra day or so like I was thinking would happen. So anyway, next chapter will be the last one! I almost can't believe it! Thanks for all the support you've given me, and I'd absolutely love it if you could continue that support and drop a review to tell me what you think. Thank you so much!