Author's Note: This chapter takes place in season 7 somewhere before episode 6, and it looks at some of the more lasting impacts of the shooting. I know I've already done two chapters related to the shooting, but I really felt like this story needed one more. Some of the characters, such as Meredith and Cristina, are shown trying to deal with it in the long time. When it came to Lexie, however, the issue was never really mentioned that much after her breakdown in the ER. I really wanted to see how it might have affected her a few months down the line. Hence this chapter. Enjoy!

Musical Inspiration: "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors

Times You've Fallen

It's the middle of a busy afternoon, and Meredith has just sat down in the hallway to catch her breath when Cristina comes looking for her.

"Lexie needs you," Cristina says with no preamble whatsoever.

"Why?" Meredith asks in confusion. "What happened?"

"Some idiot kid in the waiting room," Cristina says angrily. "He was playing with a plastic gun from some space movie. Very clearly not real. Anyway, Lexie asked his father to have him put it away, and then the kid pointed it at her and she lost it. Froze up, started hyperventilating. Classic PTSD."

It's understandable that something like that might be triggering. The shooting at the hospital may have been just over four months ago, but the psychological wounds are still raw.

"Is she okay?" Meredith asks quickly.

"She's hiding in an on-call room," Cristina says. She sounds highly sympathetic, which makes sense considering her struggle with her own PTSD. "Kepner's standing guard. I would've gone in after her, but… I think it should be you."

"Take me to her," Meredith says, pushing herself to her feet.

Neither of them says a word as Cristina leads the way through a short maze of hallways. It doesn't take long before they run into April. She's standing outside a closed door looking extremely nervous, but her tension seems to ease a little when she sees Cristina and Meredith coming her way.

"There you are," April says in relief. "She hasn't come out. I think something's really wrong."

"Of course something's wrong," Cristina says irritably. "She almost got shot."

"How long has she been in there?" Meredith asks, ignoring Cristina's comment.

"About ten minutes," April says. She's fidgeting. Apparently she's worried about Lexie too.

"Can you make sure nobody else comes in?" Meredith asks. April immediately nods.

"We got it," Cristina tells her. "Go."

Meredith pushes the door open and slips into the room beyond. It's dark inside, but there's just enough sunlight filtering through the closed blinds for Meredith to see Lexie sitting on the bottom bunk. She has her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her head jerks up when the door opens, and her hand flies up to her face as she quickly tries to erase the evidence. But by then it's too late. Meredith has already seen that she's crying.

"Lexie?" she asks softly as she closes the door behind her. The only response she gets is a choked back sob.

Meredith walks over to the bed and carefully sits down. Lexie immediately turns her face away. She's gasping ever so slightly as she fights to get herself under control.

"Cristina told me what happened," Meredith says. "Are you okay?"

Lexie nods, and she turns her head a bit so she's facing straight ahead instead of directly away from Meredith. But it only takes one look at her to know she's lying. Meredith reaches out and lays a comforting hand against Lexie's back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

Lexie glances briefly at Meredith and then away again as a shaky exhale escapes her.

"I don't know what happened," she says, her voice hoarse from crying. "There was a little boy, and he had this stupid toy gun, and then suddenly I was looking at Gary Clark, and I just…" She holds up her hand and turns it into a fist before dropping it against her knee. "I couldn't breathe, Meredith."

"It's okay," Meredith tells her gently.

"It's not okay," Lexie insists. "It's been four months. I should be fine. Everybody else is fine."

"Everybody is not fine," Meredith says.

Lexie finally turns her head to look over at Meredith. Her pleading eyes are red and her face is streaked with tears.

"None of us are fine," Meredith continues. "Cristina's legs still get shaky before she goes into an OR. Jackson has nightmares half the time. Alex still tenses up in the elevator. The other day April accidentally walked into the closet where she found Reed, and it took her almost fifteen minutes to stop hyperventilating. Jackson thought she was gonna pass out. Derek still drives way too fast sometimes just to make sure he's still alive. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and he's so still that I can't breathe for a minute because I'm scared that he's dead. Callie can barely let Arizona out of her sight, sudden noises make Owen panic, Arizona can't stand to hear the word 'gun', and Bailey has to leave the room whenever anyone mentions Charles. None of us are okay, Lexie. And that's fine. Healing takes time. We don't have to be okay yet. You don't have to be okay. Alright?"

Lexie forces herself to nod. Meredith smiles sadly at her in the dim light.

"Do you want a hug?" she asks.

Lexie wipes her eyes before nodding again. Meredith complies, scooting over and putting her arms around Lexie in a warm embrace. Lexie drops her legs off the side of the bed so she can lean into Meredith and rest her chin on her sister's shoulder. Her arms wrap themselves tightly around Meredith's waist. The pace of her breathing has started to pick up as she tries to hold back her tears. Meredith brings her left hand up to the back of Lexie's head and starts running her right hand up and down her sister's back.

"It's okay," Meredith says softly. "I'm right here."

The words seem to serve as some kind of catalyst. Lexie's head shifts so her face is pressed into Meredith's shoulder. Her arms tighten reflexively around Meredith's waist as her shoulders begin to tremble. And then come the tears. Meredith doesn't say a word as Lexie cries silently into her shoulder. It doesn't last for very long. Lexie must have used up most of her emotional energy before Meredith got there. It can't be more than a few minutes before her ragged breaths begin to even out. Meredith can feel the tension slowly seeping out of Lexie's body as the feeling of safety begins to sink in. Finally Lexie tilts her head back up so her chin is once more resting against Meredith's shoulder.

"You okay?" Meredith asks. Lexie nods wordlessly into her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Lexie says. Her voice is hoarse, but steady. Her arms release Meredith's waist as she pulls back. Meredith studies Lexie's eyes in the dim light, trying to determine whether she means it.

"You ready to go back out there?" Meredith asks. Lexie hesitates.

"Can we stay here a little longer?" she asks timidly.

Normally, Meredith is all for dusting Lexie off and pushing her back out into the world. But this time it isn't just about a simple break-up. What Lexie went through, what they all went through, was beyond traumatic. And aside from the incident with the psych ward, Lexie has been coping remarkably well. So if she needs a few minutes to catch her breath, Meredith is more than willing to give it to her.

"Sure," Meredith says.

She scoots back a bit so she can lean against the wall. Lexie does the same, and her head comes back to rest on Meredith's shoulder once more. Meredith tilts her own head to rest atop Lexie's. Then she reaches over into Lexie's lap and takes hold of her sister's hand, intertwining their fingers.

"We can stay here as long as you want," she says.

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