Warnings and triggers: suicide ideation, sebastian's potty mouth.
Kurt hangs on an amazing fifty-five hours when his heart falters and stutters once...twice...
The machines surrounding him start wailing and a nurse hurries into the room, followed by a doctor.
"There's a DNR.", Burt says quietly.
Sebastian snaps around and shoots him a hateful gaze. "I didn't agree to that!"
"It's not your decision to make, he's underage, he still falls under my responsibility and after talking with the Ummia.."
"Fuck the Ummia!", Sebastian turns to the doctor; "I'm his Bondmate, ask the Ugala, I trump family. I revoke the DNR, so fucking HELP him!"
"He's suffering!"
"He's fighting!"
While Burt and he are pretty much shouting at each other, the doctor has gone to work on Kurt. Legally, Sebastian does overrule Burt; every lawsuit concerning medical proxy has always been judged in favor of the Bondmate and no doctor will contest that.
Ignoring everyone working around Kurt, Sebastian places himself at the head of the bed, out of the way, and bends close to whisper in Kurt's ear.
"Le ciel bleu sur nous peut s'effondrer
Et la terre peut bien s'écrouler.
Peu m'importe, si tu m'aimes
Je me fous du monde entier
Tant que l'amour inondera mes matins
Tant que mon corps frémira sous tes mains
Peu m'importent les problèmes
Mon amour, puisque tu m'aimes"
He's weeping openly now, his trembling lips try to form the words of the love song but the language that is otherwise so familiar is making him stumble.
"Please, Kurt."
The doctors and nurses are working hard to help Kurt survive, at one point injecting adrenaline straight into his faltering heart and Kurt hangs on, hangs on.
"J'irais jusqu'au bout du monde
Je me ferais teindre en blonde
Si tu me le demandais
J'irais décrocher la lune
J'irais voler la fortune
Si tu me le demandais"
"I'll go as blond as the twink for you, Tinkerbell. Would that make you laugh? I'll smear some lemons on my head and go sit in the sun for a few hours. Just wake up and I swear I'll do it. I don't care if bees come live in my hair, just please Kurt. Please."
He wipes at his face, at the tears dripping down his chin and in Kurt's hair, the snot running down his nose and he knows Kurt would be so disgusted right now at the pitiful spectacle he's making of himself but this is his heart and he's dying.
Suddenly, the action around the bed stops and everyone seems to be holding their breath. Through the silence, a slow weak beep reverbates. Fifteen beats, thirty, forty. The machines have stopped wailing, the situation - Kurt - stabilizes. He's still clinging to life. Sebastian hides in face in Kurt's soft hair and sobs.
He's exhausted but unable to sleep, curled around his Bondmate in the hospital bed. Burt is snoring heavily on the cot in the corner, sleeping the dreamless sleep of the sedated. Finn and Carole have returned to the motel across the street, unwilling to be as far away as home 'in case of'.
In case of...
Sebastian knows. God, he knows too much but Kurt is so strong and still alive in his arms even if he remains absent in the Bond and even as cynical as he is, he wants to hope that this is not the end, that all their troubles and pain were not for nothing.
He tightens his hold on Kurt and presses a kiss to the boy's temple. It's unreal to him now, how angry he was at Kurt before. He remembers his rancor and drive to hurt Kurt and it breaks his heart because they lost so much time. If this is really the time they'll be granted together, to have wasted two months in pettiness hurts.
Ever since he got to hold Kurt's soul in his there's been nothing but love in his heart for Kurt, sweeping away all childish resentments and dislike. 'All masks disappear for the Bonded', it's said. He hopes that wherever Kurt is, if he still is, he knows Sebastian loves him and he hopes that Kurt felt the same before he disappeared.
Again, he allows himself to sink in the Bond and drifts to where Kurt should be and where there is only a gaping maw of emptiness now in which the connection loses itself.
Maybe.
Maybe, he should just go with it and see where it ends? Dive into the black with Kurt and if he gets lost, what will it matter? If Kurt dies, he dies too. Maybe, he can just touch Kurt's hand way down there in the deep and they can go together. Better now when they're entwined in the same bed, than Kurt in a morgue and he in a cold car in a dark parking lot with the bitter taste of gunpowder on his tongue.
He opens his eyes one last time and gazes his fill of Kurt, he lets his fingers trail along the soft lines of the boy's face and caresses Kurt's hair. He hesitates a moment before he gives in, leans forward and kisses Kurt's lips. Their one and only kiss, probably.
He inhales shakily, closes his eyes to the world and lets the Bond carry him away.
tbc
Author's Note: Yes, I am aware these last two chapters (and several before that) are short. I would like to apologize and explain; the thing is that normally I write drabbles and ficlets so I'm kinda set in my ways and it's not easy for me to change that. I beg for patience and understanding. Thank you.
Secondly. I love you guys. Your enthousiasm, awesome reviews that make me laugh and cry and blush, faithful tagging and favorite-ing and everything else is flattering, stunning and all-round fantastic. Kisses and internet hugs to all of you.
The song referenced is Edith Piaf's 'Hymne à l'amour'. It's on youtube and intensely beautiful.