Chapter 21

The long trip to London was mostly silent. Darcy was thinking about Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He was replaying their many conversations in his head. He came to reflect upon their interrupted discussion about the kings of England. The last thing Miss Bennet had said played in his mind. "Whether great or not, there is no time to reflect. But I must tell you that I admire Richard the Lionhearted." Was she merely trying to answer his question? If so it seemed a little strange. She had described a great king as one who was faithful to his responsibilities. Richard I had showed bravery in the wars he fought, but he left his people behind so often that he was barely a king to them. Darcy did not think that Miss Elizabeth would favor a king who chose to spend vast resources on foreign wars and who let his people suffer while he was away. Though, of course, she could admire the king for his bravery and not believe him to be a great king. For a brief instant, Darcy worried that Miss Elizabeth had been using a play on the name Richard, and a pang of jealousy surged through him. No! He was sure that was not what she meant.

Mr. Darcy then remembered the day he had come upon Miss Elizabeth in the grove singing beginning a new line of thought. That day, she had referred to him as the king in the tower. The first time she had played on the piano for them she had called him lionhearted. Mr. Darcy was then confident that Miss Elizabeth's statement was praising him, but what more was she trying to say. She is telling me that she admires me, but she does not know me well enough to assess my character. It had not previously occurred to Darcy that Miss Elizabeth would needed to be persuaded to him, or that she would need to learn more of him. He had not dwelt on the matter, but had assumed that if he made her an offer, she would accept. How could he have been so presumptuous? The woman who told him that increase of wealth and lands did not make a great king would not choose to marry a man simply because of his large estate and great wealth. If their discourse on kings was telling, she would prefer a man who honored his responsibilities and cared for his family. Moreover, had she not early in their acquaintance spoken plainly saying that she would not marry a man she did not both love and respect? If he wanted to marry her, he would have to win her love and her respect. Did he have either? Should he even want to marry her anyway?

Fitzwilliam Darcy thought to his list of qualities of an ideal wife. Miss Elizabeth Bennet certainly possessed a great many of those qualities. After all, had it not been thoughts of her which made him think on the subject at all. Nonetheless, she had neither wealth nor connections. Did that matter? A great king, would not needless seek after wealth and increase in estate; he would seek to use what he had wisely. Shouldn't a great man live by the same principle? Darcy realized that he could marry a woman like Caroline Bingley, who would bring a large fortune to the marriage, but Caroline never stayed within the allowance Bingley provided for her. If she was spending beyond her means now, the fortune she provided would not be a true increase, for she could not be expected to spend wisely as mistress of her own home. Marrying a woman who increased his estate suddenly did not seem so desirable as a woman who would stand beside him and help him care for his estate. Would Miss Elizabeth be that woman? Darcy was determined to learn, and while he was learning, he would endeavor to show her he deserved her. Did he deserve her?

"You have a pensive expression, cousin. May I trouble you for your thoughts?" Colonel Fitzwilliam had a pretty good idea of whom Darcy was thinking, but he was still surprised by the response.

"I was wondering if I was worthy of her, and if I am not what must I do to make myself worthy?" The Colonel was now convinced that Miss Elizabeth Bennet was the best thing that had ever happened to Darcy.

"You are a good man, Darcy. Just make sure she sees who you really are."

"I will try." Darcy replied and then changed the subject.

While Darcy was traveling and thinking about Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Elizabeth was staying behind and thinking of Mr. Darcy. She thought over all the time that they spent together, and felt it was dreadful that he should have to leave so soon. She thought of his statements about the water moving swiftly passed the rocks in the stream, and she saw the metaphor to their relationship. As they grew to know one another, they could be moving toward marriage and a future together. Darcy's need to leave Rosings was certainly an obstacle in their path, but it would not cause him to make a hasty decision or rush a proposal from him. Elizabeth appreciated his wisdom in not rushing. Nevertheless, she did not see how they could proceed since they were no longer together. Had Mr. Darcy not indicated that they would meet again? Yet, when would circumstance bring them together?

Mrs. Collins saw her friend's sour mood, and guessing the cause sought to cheer Elizabeth, "Colonel Fitzwilliam, told me that he and Mr. Darcy and looking forward to spending time with you again when you are in London in a fortnight." A fluttery feeling settled in Elizabeth's stomach. Mr. Darcy did have a plan to see her again. She did not understand how he had such a plan. She could not remember his asking about her uncle's place of dwelling. How could he plan to see her? Maybe the Collinses had given him some information. Elizabeth decided she would not worry about the how and gave herself over to daydreaming on what the time in London might bring.