A/N: Hi! *Waves* I just kinda, sort of, had a writers block. And when that cleared I had trouble finding an ending to the chapter... So it kinda grew a bit. Couple that with my roomie being home and it took me this long to actually publish. Sorry about that.
Anyways: Happy belated birthday to AssassinLover and SummerSkins :D WOOOO!
Let the rambling begin!
Chapter 20: A delicate balance.
*Flicker* "How can you drink that?" The husky voice makes her jump a little, the content of her coffee cup nearly spilling on to the table. She looks up quickly, almost surprised to see her there. She closes her eyes for a second, Emily is still there when she opens them.
"Drink what?" She manages to squeeze out from a throat that suddenly fells like she's been swallowing sandpaper. Her eyes are firmly on the coffee in front of her, not daring to look up into those eyes. The surface is swirling slightly under her intense gaze, reflecting the light right above her head.
"That!" Emily is pointing to the cup, she's so close to her now that she can clearly smell the distinct scent that is Emily. It makes the hairs on the back of her neck try to stand up. Puzzled, she looks back down from the outstretched hand and in to the cup again.
"It's coffee?" Her resolve breaks and her eyes finally snap up to Emily's face. The grin is evident on it, her eyes glimmering. It both calms and terrifies her, being so close. The more she looks into her eyes, the more she feels the need to slam her walls back down.
"Coffee in a coffee shop, I would have never guessed. I meant, how can you drink it black? It tastes like crap." The playfulness of the statement isn't lost on Naomi. She arches an eyebrow at the smaller girl, taking an almost defiant sip. The liquid feels good as it slides down her throat, she lets out a contented sigh.
"I guess some of us are just more grown up then others." She grins insolently at Emily who lights up at the banter, obviously getting what she wanted. It makes Naomi want to laugh, she looks like a little kid who just got told that their best-friend can come out to play after all. Without asking, the other sits herself down on the seat across from her. "By all means, sit." She tells her in her most sarcastic voice, she's rewarded with a smile that could have lighted up a black hole. It makes her breath catch and her heart skip a beat.
"Thanks." She says, breaking the trance Naomi is in. "So you seriously drink your coffee black?" Naomi nods, not trusting her voice. "I don't really like coffee." Emily whisper conspiratorially, making Naomi's lips twitch.
"You obviously came to wrong place then." She quips back. "Nothing but coffee here." She lets the smile come out at the huff she gets in return.
"Not true, Naoms." Naomi almost flinches at the nickname, but manages to keep a straight face. "They also have a killer hot chocolate." Emily beams at her, raising her own cup, oblivious to the fact that Naomi is struggling not to lean over and kiss the smirk right off her face. That she's wondering if Emily would like coffee if she tastes it on someone else's lips. *Flicker*
"NEXT!" The voice makes her jump. She looks up and sees that the girl behind the counter means her. "What are you having?" The irritated voice ask her, the answer comes out before she knows what she's about to say.
"I want Emi… I mean…" She stammers, trying to get her head together. "I'll have a hot chocolate." The girl behind the disk gives her a puzzled look.
"Hot chocolate? In this weather? Your funeral I guess." The girl shrugs, not noticing the glare on her back. "Funnily enough, you're not the first one in the hot chocolate brigade today. Mike! Another hot chocolate!" She screams to the guy by the coffee maker. "To go?" Naomi nods, not quite knowing why she ordered the damn thing in the first place.
She groans when she gets back out on to the street, the sun is beating down even more relentless then what it did before she went in to the coffee shop. She takes a sip of the hot chocolate and grimaces. She really just wanted some coffee, not this crap at this time of the day. Not to mention in this heat. It's not even 9.00 yet and it feels like a bloody oven.
Growling, she tosses the hot chocolate in the nearest bin, before continuing down the street towards the grocery store. "Get breakfast, she says. Go now before the heat melts you into a puddle." She snorts in the middle of her rant. "I swear I'll kill the demented cow one day." She's still grumbling when she gets to the shops, feeling like she could murder for something to eat. Something was making her stomach feel a bit funny.
It's been two days since the disastrous dinner, she hasn't seen Emily since then. Not in real life at least. It's been driving her up the walls, combined with the heat she's been snapping at everyone stupid enough to cross paths with her. Effy had almost given up on her too, or at least finally snapped back and told her to get her act together. She didn't blame her, she knew that she had been especially moody, throwing insults around like they were candy at a kid's birthday party.
The weather had been gruelling the last few days too. She'd tried staying inside as much as possible, but the lack of food and the fact that her mother had insisted that she get out of the house had forced her hand. So here she was, dripping with sweat, t-shirt sticking uncomfortably to her back, trying to remember all the stuff she was supposed to get. Tossing food unceremoniously into her shopping cart, looking at the crows feet her mother had scribbled onto what she claimed to be a shopping list.
"What the hell is this supposed to be? Does it say kilt? That can't be right." Still talking to her self and trying to read her mothers handwriting, she rounded the corner not really paying attention to anything in front of her. Of course she thumped into a person right on the other side of the stacked beans, of course it was who she was trying to ignore. Who was the reason for why she had been going out in the middle of the last two nights, only to stare at the windows of her house trying to catch a glimpse of her. She still didn't know why she was doing it, still reeling from the one time she had met her in the last year. She knew that gnawing feeling in her stomach hadn't been hunger when she thought about it.
"Are you blind? Watch where you're fucking going!" If it wasn't for the furious look on Emily's face, she would have laughed at the hilarity of running into someone she'd spent the last few days both ignoring and trying to catch a glimpse of. Food was everywhere, she had obviously managed to tip Emily's shopping cart over as she barrelled around the corner. Emily was on the floor too, scrambling to get back up.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry." Emily's face came up in a blur, eyes trained on her, going wide as she recognized her. At least Naomi hoped she recognized her. "I was trying to read what my mother had written on here." She waved the list a bit half heartedly, trying to smile in an apologetic way, she was sure it came out more as a grimace. "Are you ok, are you hurt? I was trying to figure out if she really wanted me to pick up a kilt from the grocery store, which doesn't make any sense, and I didn't see where I was going and…" She took a deep breath and stopped her rambling. "The point is, I'm sorry. And are you alright?"
Emily was still looking at her, her face unreadable. Naomi nervously looked around at all the food, not daring to meet those eyes anymore. They always had a way of drowning out whatever was around and of telling her exactly how the other felt. Or at least they had in her flickers, not now though. Brushing herself off, Emily finally got to her feet.
"I'm fine." The statement was clipped, annoyed. "It's Naomi, right?" Naomi almost flinched at the question, but managed to keep her face still. She nodded instead of trusting herself not to start rambling like an idiot again. "Could you give me a hand?" Emily indicated to the mess on the floor.
"Sure." It came out like more of a squeak, she had just seen what the other was wearing. She quickly leaned down picking up the nearest object she could find, trying desperately not to look at the bare legs in front of her. The way the muscles were moving in her thigh, the tank top riding up a bit, exposing a small strip of skin on her back. She thanked her lucky star that Emily was now facing away from her and never saw the look she was sure was on her face. They picked up the rest of it in silence, Naomi not daring to let her eyes linger anywhere near the red head for long.
"Thanks." Emily was staring at her again. "I mean for helping me clear this up. Obviously not for bumping into me." She laughed, making Naomi smile back at her. If she ever had the chance she would spend the rest of her life trying to make her laugh again.
"Sure, no problem." She was still smiling. "I should probably go get the rest of what's on here." She plucked the list out from her back pocket, waving it at her again. "You know, get back to knocking people over while looking for kilts." The grin on Emily's face was breathtaking, she could feel her chest ache at the sight of it.
"Here, let me have a look at it, maybe I can make sense of it." Emily stretched her hand out towards the list, Naomi handed it over without question. The tips of their fingers brushed and she could have sworn she heard the breath catch in Emily's throat, she wasn't sure though because her own breath had caught at the same time.
She watched as Emily frowned at the piece of paper, biting her lip, hair falling in front of her eyes. She moved closer to her, standing next to her to look at the paper too. "See?" She reached over and pointed to the word. "It says kilt, I'm sure of it." She was so close now that goose bumps started to form on the arm closest to the red head. She clasped her hands behind her back to try and prevent them from rising up to tuck the strand of hair, still falling in front of Emily's face, behind her ear.
"Hmm, it actually does look like it says kilt" Emily absentmindedly brushed the strand of hair away from her eyes, Naomi swallowed. "I'm afraid I can't make it out either." With a shrug she passed the paper back, smiling up at Naomi.
"Ah well, I'll just get yelled at then. Maybe if I bring back a lime and say I thought that was what it said?" She said jokingly as she took the paper back, smiling back at Emily. "Thanks for trying to help, even if I did have to knock you over to get your attention." She winked at her, feeling pleased with herself as she saw a faint blush creep up the red heads face. It only lasted a second though, both the blush and the pleased feeling.
"Right. I have to go." Emily started to push the cart towards the check out. "It was nice running into you… Erm… have you run into me?" She gave another of those heart stopping smiles and was gone before Naomi could think of an answer. The eyes had been the same though, cold, uncaring. She stood staring at the spot she had disappeared for a while, willing her to come back. Sighing softly, she turned to finish her shopping.
Effy gave her a look that promised that they would talk later when she got home. "Yeah yeah, don't start." Naomi replied before she could even open her mouth, dropping the shopping bags on the table. "Mum! I'm not sure what you wanted with a kilt, but I picked one up on the way home!" She bellowed up the stairs at her mother.
"No need to yell, dear." Her mother ducked in from the backyard, scaring the living daylights out her. "And I never wrote kilt on the list?" Naomi just waved the list in her face, pointing out the line. "Oh, maybe I did." Her mother grinned, when Naomi rummaged in another bag pulling out a kilt.
"Figured it was a reason you put it on there?" She smirked at her mother. "Present for Kieran maybe? Some kinky new crap you're in to?" She raised an eyebrow at her "Besides, it was your credit card that paid for it." She shrugged and moved to put away the groceries. She was holding a pack of Garibaldi's when her mother threw her arms around her in an awkward hug.
"I'm gonna miss you, even if you are too grumpy and sarcastic for your own good." Her mother steeped back and wiped away some stray tears running down her cheeks.
"Fucks sake, mum." She replied softly, surprising her by giving her a hug back. "It's only for a year, right? And besides, I have Effy here. We'll be alright." She looked over at her friend who was sitting on one of the chairs, looking slightly uncomfortable by all the obvious affection shown by the other two. "Come on you lump, come hug it out." She grinned at the look of horror briefly displayed in Effy's eyes.
After what she was sure was the most awkward group hug in the history of all group hugs, Effy finally spoke up. "So Mrs. Campbell, what time is Kieran coming to pick you up?" Naomi's mother looked up from the drawer she was rooting around in, withdrawing her hand with a little triumphant wave as she finally found her passport.
"What have I told you to call me, Elizabeth?" Her mother put emphasis on Effy's given name, almost making the girl blush. Naomi just chuckled, sipping her ice tea as she watched the conversation.
"Yeah, what did she tell you to call her, Elizabeth?" Naomi smirked at her, grinning when she received a pointed stare back. She stuck her tongue out at her friend and promptly felt her mother smack the back of her head. "Oi! What was that for?"
"Be nice Naomi." Her mother just said, winking conspiratorially to Effy who was suddenly sporting a half shocked smile of her own. "Sometimes you just have to smack her over the head to make her see the error of her ways." Her mother continued as Effy's smile got wider.
"Oh, I will smack her as many times as it takes." Effy said, her trademark mysterious smirk back in place. Naomi groaned. "So Gina…" Effy flashed another smile towards the older woman. "When is that enthusiastic Irishman of yours coming?"
Gina laughed at the comment. "Oh, he'll be here any minute now. I thought we could order in some lunch, have a farewell meal of sorts. What do you girls think?" She was beaming at the both of them, a sudden wave of sadness spread through Naomi.
"Sounds perfect, mum." She said, looking over at Effy who nodded before leaning over and putting her hand on top of Naomi's. She drew a shuddering breath, trying to keep the pangs of sadness at bay. A familiar flutter in the back of her mind made her look up, her mind letting go of the thoughts of being without her mother for a year. The conversation started up again between her mother and Effy, they're not paying any attention to her. Perfect.
*Flicker* "That's disgusting!" Naomi frowned at Emily who was still munching happily on her sandwich, only shooting her an amused grin when she heard the blonde speak. Naomi saw the eyebrow rise up slightly, breadcrumbs was falling on the bed as she ate. She tried hiding her smile at the sight, but failed miserably.
"I thought you said you'd love to eat breakfast in bed with me? And you didn't seem to mind me eating naked in bed last night." There was an unmistakeable glint in the redhead's eyes, a swirling torrent of emotions, mostly amusement, but there was a dark undercurrent in them too. The mischievous smile didn't go unnoticed either. Naomi's eyes glazed over for a moment, reliving parts of the night before.
"Hmm. No, didn't particularly mind that." Naomi grinned back at Emily who now had forgotten all about the food. "I do mind this though." She lifted the hand still holding her own sandwich. "What the hell is this abomination you call food?"
"It's honey and marmite." Emily shrugged. "I think it's the best thing ever." Another playful grin spread across the redhead's face "Well, I used to think it was the best thing ever."
"Oh?" Naomi asked, eyebrow cocked. "And what do you think the best thing ever is now?" She loved this, the playfulness in Emily's eyes, the way she licked her lips. Her own heart was starting to beat painfully in her chest. She licked her own lips and shifted a bit in the bed.
The answer was simple, just one word. "You." It was husky, predatory. It made Naomi's spine tingle and a smile spread on her face. *Flicker*
A few hours later, she stood in the driveway and watched the dinged up car drive out of sight. The sun was still beating down, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Effy laid a hand of her shoulder, making Naomi turn around to face her.
"Do you want to call the gang over? We could make a night of it." She heard her say, but her own mind was still on the car driving away.
"No, I think I need some time for myself. Maybe take a bike ride or something." Effy's face fell a little. "Tomorrow though, for sure." She added as she caught the disappointment in the others face. She added a little smile, she could feel it not reaching her eyes.
"Take your phone." Effy said as Naomi passed her on her way back inside. "Your mother made me promise to take care of you. She can be quite scary when she wants to." Effy was smirking when she looked back at her. Naomi grinned too.
"I know. Everyone always dismisses her as a hippie cliché, but when it comes to the people she loves…" She trailed off as she saw Effy look away, trying to hide the emotions fluttering over her face. Naomi cleared her throat. "She probably said the same thing to you about me, that she did to me about you."
"She told you to take care of me?" Effy asked, surprised. Naomi smiled softly at her.
"Of course she did. She thinks of you as family, we both do." The genuine smile on Effy's face suited her, it made Naomi walk over to her and give her a hug. "I'll be back late, I just need to get my head around a few things. I'll call you if I'm not back by midnight." She said.
"Emily?" Was the only question.
"Emily." Naomi agreed. "And mum." She added after a moment.
"Don't spend another night outside her house, it's getting creepy." Effy said. Naomi just laughed at the statement, shaking her head a bit. She knew it wasn't her mum Effy was talking about.
About a half hour, one packed bag and a change of clothes later, she was on her way. The heat had been the reason why she had thought of the place she was headed to, she needed somewhere to cool down and that wasn't packed because of the heat. The lake she'd stumbled once before, would be perfect. The fact that it was really Emily's place, had very little to do with it. Nope, nothing at all to do with why she was currently racing along the roads, enjoying the breeze on her face. Or why she felt relaxed and a bit jittery at the same time.
The sun was a glowing ball low in the sky when she finally reached the lake. She parked her bike in some underbrush, pulled out a towel from her backpack and placed it besides it. Not really wasting any time, she pulled off her clothes and stood for a moment in the bikini she had put on underneath. She looked out over the lake, watched how the sun glinted of the surface making it seem like it was glowing too. It really was lovely, the words she had spoken to Emily in her flicker echoed through her head as she dove in.
*Flicker* "It's lovely, it's a lovely place." *Flicker*
The water felt amazing, warm and just heaven sent. She could feel herself relax, the tension draining away. "Best idea, ever." She mumbled as she closed her eyes and floated peacefully on her back. The world was shut out for a few glorious moments, her thoughts only circling on how good the water felt washing over her. She floated out to the middle, lazily flicking her arms back and forth to propel her backwards. Dipping down, she swam back to the shore under water. The water closed over her head, she felt a fluttering in her chest. A sense of anticipation that didn't make any sense. As soon as her head broke the water, she knew though.
A pair of brown eyes was looking straight into her own, the surprise in them made her smile a bit. It was the first emotion she'd seen in them other then anger or coldness. Slowly, she got out of the water. She saw the way those eyes followed her dripping wet body for a second, before hastily looking away. So Emily wasn't as immune to her as she thought, her smile grew a bit.
"Twice in one day." She stated as she brushed past Emily and headed for her towel. "Had any more people bump in to you since I last saw you?" She shot over her shoulder, grinning when she caught the other girl's eyes glued to her back. She didn't quite know where her sudden courage had come from, or the lack of incessant rambling she usually spouted when Emily was around.
"I didn't know anyone was here." She heard a quiet voice behind her say. "Didn't see your bike." It muttered. Naomi turned around, drying her hair now, still smiling. The smile faltered slightly when she saw the sun illuminate Emily's red hair from behind, making it shine in a million shades of red. Swallowing, she forced herself to look away for a moment. She wanted to run her fingers through it, to hear Emily say her name as she embraced her. She pushed the thoughts out of her head and looked back at the red head, smile back in place.
"I just thought I'd cool down a bit, with the weather and all." She gestured with an arm, the other one still clutching her towel. "This was the first place I thought of that might not be all that crowded. Did you come for the same reason?" She took a step towards Emily, trying desperately to keep her features open and friendly, to not let the tension get the better of her. It must have been working, she decided, when she saw the other's shoulders relax just a fraction.
"I didn't bring a swimming costume." She looked up and finally met Naomi's eyes. The walls were back, it made Naomi's heart drop a little. The statement did give her an opening though.
"So? That's never stopped y… anyone before." She hoped her slight slip up went unnoticed. She would have bashed her head against the nearest tree, but she thought Emily might have noticed that, maybe have some questions about why she was doing it.
"Sun's almost down." Emily just answered, obviously not noticing the internal struggle Naomi was having. Naomi sighed in relief and wrapped the towel around her. She needed to put on her underwear, but she wasn't sure what the etiquette was in these situations. Should she just change as if it was nothing out of the ordinary? As if the person she was madly in love with wasn't standing right in front of her? She'd never really worried about these kinds of things before, always just changed under her towel no matter who was looking.
"Right." She said, reaching a decision. She started tugging off her bikini bottoms. Emily's eyes went wide and she quickly turned around. Well, that solved that problem, she thought as the bottom got tangled around her legs somehow. Hopping madly on one foot to try and get her balance back under control she suddenly crashed into Emily's back, sending the other girl flying into the water while she flopped down painfully on the ground herself.
"What the hell, Naomi?" A very angry shout came from the water. Naomi lifted her head off the ground and took a quick look at her self, the towel was miraculously still wrapped firmly around her. She sat up a bit gingerly, ignoring the swearing from the water as she flexed her limbs. Apart from a nasty gash on her left leg, she was unharmed. It was bleeding pretty badly though. She got up on her feet and looked down at the water, wincing as she saw Emily struggling to get back up.
"Here, let me help you." She grasped one Emily's arms, trying to bend so the towel wouldn't gape open. She was painfully aware of not wearing anything other then a bikini top underneath it. A pair of furious eyes met her own, she gulped at the sight of them.
"I don't need help, thank you very much." The red head spat at her, but still used the arm Naomi had offered to heave herself out of the water. Reluctantly, Naomi dropped the grip when it was clear Emily was on dry land. Her whole arm was still buzzing from the contact.
"I'm sorry, I lost my balance. If you hadn't been there it would have been me in the water, towel and all." She said quickly as Emily turned her back on her, following as the other stepped away from her, trying to make fun of the situation at the same time.
"Great, that's just great." Emily threw up her arms, obviously not amused. She turned around so fast that Naomi took a step backwards, loosing her balance again. With a yelp, she let go of the death grip she'd had on her towel and grabbed on to Emily's arm. A look of shock flew over the red heads face, before she gripped back and yanked her forward instead. The change of direction took Naomi by surprise and she stumbled into Emily again, this time falling on top of her.
She could feel the small form under her shaking. Scared that she had actually hurt Emily, she quickly tried to get her weight off the other girl. Leaning on her arms, she looked down, fearing the worst. Expecting a look of pure agony, she was surprised to find that the other girl was shaking with suppressed laughter.
"Jesus, I shouldn't be allowed to leave my house." She muttered to herself, trying to get up. At her words, Emily completely lost it and started laughing out loud. "I'm glad you're finding it funny." She said, feeling a bit annoyed at the obvious delight the red head was taking in this.
"The look… on… your face… when you… grabbed me." Emily managed to squeeze out in-between fits of laughter. "Priceless!" She continued laughing until Naomi accidentally kneed her in the stomach, still trying to get up. Emily opened her eyes, tears still shining in them from laughing so hard. She finally realized how close they were. Something Naomi had become increasingly aware of over the last few seconds.
"Erm… I should… ehh… get up now." Naomi managed to croak out, her heart was beating like crazy. The look in Emily's eyes flashed from warm amusement to stone cold in the blink of an eye. It made Naomi just decide to roll over and off the now very serious looking Emily.
"You're bleeding." Emily stated as they both finally had managed to get to their feet. Naomi looked down at the wound she had gotten the first time she went down.
"It's just a scratch." She answered, shrugging. She looked at her leg and realized she was still just wearing a towel. "Erm, I think I'll just go put some clothes on." She looked up at Emily who was still frowning at the wound on her leg. "I think I should probably sit down while putting on my underwear, probably safer for the both of us." She tried grinning at Emily, but the red head seemed to be lost in thought. "Right, I'll be over here then." She pointed at a rock a little into the forest.
"What?" Emily's head snapped up. "Oh, yes. Probably better to sit down." She nodded to emphasize her words and turned her attention to the lake. Naomi stared at the way her still soaking wet t-shirt was sticking to her back. Shaking her head to get rid of the thoughts that suddenly popped up in her head, she turned, walked to the rock and sat down.
She can't see Emily from where she's sitting. "Just as well, or you'd just be perving at her the whole time instead of getting dressed." She mumbles softly to herself as she puts her shorts. The gash in her leg has started throbbing, but the bleeding had stopped. Carefully, she dabs the towel over the wound, mopping up some of the blood. It isn't as deep as she first thought. She runs her fingers through her hair a few times, trying to get it to flatten down a bit, make her look a little more presentable. When she's satisfied it's not sticking out in all sorts of weird angles, she takes a deep breath and walks back to the lake.
"Hey Emily!" She said as cheerily as she could. "I have a spare shirt and a pair of pants in my backpack, if you want to you can borrow it." The grin on her face faltered as she saw the place where she left Emily is empty. "Emily?" She tries, a little louder this time. Still no answer, no sign of her. "Perfect." She exclaims softly, feeling disappointment wash over her. "Just bloody perfect."
The sun had set, she noticed with a start. It was still light out, but the air was suddenly not as warm as she remembered. "And your clothes are all wet." She said to herself, making her mind up before she had even thought it through. Stepping over to her bike, intending to race after Emily to give her some dry clothes, maybe even yell at her a little for leaving without saying goodbye, her eyes fell on the back tire. It was flat.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She shouted, kicking a nearby tree in anger. Pain shot up her leg from her toes, making her swear some more. She concluded after a while that standing there swearing at the tree didn't help the situation much. Throwing her hands up in defeat, she grabbed the bike and started wheeling it down the road. She was going to call Effy or Cook as soon as she got to the main road, not wanting either of them to pick her up here. This was Emily's lake after all.
She never noticed the brown eyes following her every move from where they were hidden. The way they burned into her back. She only felt the slight prickling between her shoulder blades as she walked away. The feeling was gone when she rounded the bend in the road.
So... *grins* Everyone still here, still following? *shuffles feet*
I'll try not to take this long with the next one.
Oh, and thanks for reviewing, for the story alerts and for the favourite alerts. I appreciate it :D