We're backing up again. And wait, why is Vincent randomly so important?!
Chapter 21: The Parting of the Ways (Tamara's chapter)
A Few Days Ago
Tamara collapsed against a tree, clutching her calf. It was maybe a mile to the others' camp. Not those others. Tears and dirt streaked her face. If she could have, she would have done some creative bandaging technique to make her wound hurt less, but she wasn't that creative, so whatever. She leaned her head back against the tree and groaned. Tamara had been running non-stop for a day or so now, and, surprisingly, she hadn't gotten lost yet.
With a sight, Tamara got to her feet. Or, at least, she tried to. Her (at this moment) annoyingly long brown hair was caught on the tree bark. "Damn it," she sighed as she tried to pull her hair loose. It was really stuck on there. After a few vigorous pulls, her hair finally came free, and she stumbled to her feet, rubbing the back of her head.
Tamara continued the trying journey to the beach, pondering what she was going to do once she got there. Kate, being the bitch she is, had probably taken her tent back by now. She supposed she could always room with Desmond. Or Juliet.
Tamara's thoughts were interrupted by a deafening explosion and the sound of a tree crashing on the ground. She froze. Then, eager to see what the commotion was, she rushed forward and found herself face-to-face with the following people: Jack (naturally), Kate (bitch), Juliet (she's nice), Sun (okay, then), Jin (well, if Sun's there…), Charlie (fine), Claire (huh?!), Sawyer (of course), Danielle (that explains the explosion), Hurley (why was he always included?), and Desmond (yay!).
"Tamara?" Jack demanded incredulously.
Tamara gave a little wave, unsure of what to say.
"What happened?" Desmond demanded, going to her.
Tamara looked into his eyes and then turned to Jack. "Ben," she said dramatically.
"Ben did that to you?" Juliet asked.
Tamara nodded. She debated briefly on whether or not to tell them of John, but she re-considered. Jack seemed to have an unexplainable hatred of John Locke. Perhaps it was because Jack was jealous. He never got to see George.
"This is the exact reason why I brought you out here," Jack said, taking his "leader" position.
"How'd you know I'd be out here?" Tamara asked, confused.
"No, he's talking about Rousseau blowing up a tree," Claire told her.
Tamara looked at Claire. What was missing about her? Oh. Of course. "Claire, where's your baby?"
"I gave him to Sun to look after," Claire said.
Tamara pointed at Sun. "Then why is sun here?"
"I gave Aaron to Rose to look after," Sun told Claire.
"Well, let's hope Rose doesn't decide to come along," Tamara muttered to herself. Turning her attention back to important matters, Tamara said, "So, why did you need to blow up a tree?"
"My people are coming tomorrow," Juliet said, as if that was a perfect answer.
"So, you're going to…oh!" Tamara said as she realized what they were about to do.
"We're gonna blow 'em all to hell," Jack said dramatically.
Tamara sat on the "floor" of the tent that Desmond had magically acquired. He was examining her bullet wound.
"So, what happened? You went for a walk and never returned," Desmond said.
"Well, I got bored just sitting here, so I took a walk and ran into Locke, Sayid, and Kate. We ended up at Otherville-,"
"Otherville?" Desmond interjected.
"Yeah. You know, the place where the Others live," Tamara explained.
"It's really called Otherville?" Desmond seemed somewhat surprised and amused.
Tamara thought on it. Actually, nobody had ever told her what the island suburb was called. Shrugging, she told Desmond, "It is now."
"Ah," Desmond contemplated as he wrapped gauze around Tamara's leg. He had obviously stolen Jack's first-aid kit. "Go on," he told her.
"That's all there is to tell, really. I stayed with Brittany until we met Jacob. Ben shot John, and he ended up in a pit full of Dharma corpses. Then, he shot me in the leg. John told me to warn the camp, but I'm not really sure why." She lapsed into a thoughtful silence. Desmond also remained silent. He sat back on his heels and looked towards where Charlie was flirting with Claire, his expression troubled.
Tamara shook herself out of her trance and watched Desmond watch Charlie. "What's wrong?" she asked at last.
Desmond sighed and turned to her. "I suppose it's best that you know," he told her. "Ever since I turned that fail-safe key in the hatch, I've been seeing flashes of things that were gonna happen."
"What, like – the future?" Tamara asked, wrapping her hands around her knees.
Desmond nodded and Tamara's mouth opened slightly in shock. "In these…flashes, I always see Charlie's death."
Tamara glanced over Desmond's shoulder at Charlie. He was still flirting with Claire. "But, Charlie's alive," Tamara stated the obvious. Yeah, she did that a lot.
"Aye," Desmond agreed. "Each time I've seen him die, I've been able to stop it. I saw him get struck by lightning-," Tamara snorted. Such a cartoon way to die. Desmond glared at her, and she forced a frown.
"Sorry," she muttered.
Desmond continued as though she hadn't just laughed in the face of Charlie's impending doom. "I was able to stop it-."
"How did you stop the weather?" Tamara demanded, disbelieving.
"It's called a lightning rod, Tamara," Desmond sighed. It was so difficult to explain anything to her, as he was quickly finding out.
"Oh, I knew that," Tamara scoffed.
"Anyway," Desmond continued, "the second time, Charlie drowned. I stopped that, too. The last time, I almost let him die, but I saved him at the last second." His expression got that sad, troubled look again. "I had another one when Jack was showing us the dynamite."
Tamara smiled and rested her hand on Desmond reassuringly. "So, you'll save him again."
"I can't," Desmond whispered. "He's going to die. If he doesn't, then we'll never get rescued."
Tamara looked at Desmond and then glanced at Charlie, accidentally catching his eye. She looked hurriedly away. "Desmond, rescue will never come. We've got no means of contacting the outside world. Well," she amended, "we've got my laptop and cell phone, but my cell battery's almost on empty, and the same goes with my laptop."
"A woman parachuted to the island a couple of days ago. She was carrying a satellite phone," Desmond told her.
"That's wonderful!" Tamara gasped, temporarily forgetting about Charlie's impending death.
"The battery's dead," Desmond said.
"Of course it is," Tamara sighed.
"Sayid can get it working," Desmond reassured her.
"I still don't understand what a satellite phone has to do with Charlie," Tamara said, switching subjects (sort of) at the speed of light.
"I don't either," Desmond admitted, "but if it gets everybody on the island rescued, then I can't save him this time."
Tamara didn't know Charlie all that well, but she agreed with Desmond. She wasn't happy about throwing away the life of a British man. After all, foreign people are cool. "Does Charlie know about your flashes?"
Desmond nodded. "I'll tell him," he said, rising to his feet.
"Help me up; I'll come with you," Tamara said, raising her hands above her head. Desmond took her hands and helped her limp over to Charlie.
"Charlie, can I see you for a mo'?" Desmond asked.
"Absolutely," Charlie said, leaving Claire and her baby and following Tamara and Desmond. "So, you ready to tell me what you saw?"
How did he know? Then, Tamara came to the realization that Desmond probably never spoke to Charlie unless he had a flash. Desmond was awfully anti-social.
"Aye," Desmond answered Charlie's question, stopping. "What I saw," he began, "was Claire and her baby getting into helicopter-," getting into helicopter? Tamara thought to herself. Then, it dawned on her. Getting into a helicopter. Desmond continued. "A helicopter that lifts off and leaves this island.
Charlie sure as hell was happy. "A rescue?" he asked breathlessly.
"Aye," Desmond assented. Apparently, "aye" was his favorite expression.
"We're gettin' bloody rescued!" Charlie exclaimed happily. "I thought you were gonna tell me I'm gonna die again!"
Tamara could see the raw truth shining in Desmond's eyes. "You are, Charlie."
Charlie's smile fell of his face really quickly. "If you don't," Desmond continued, "none of it will happen. This time, you have to die."
Charlie, Desmond, and Tamara sat on the beach for no reason. Charlie was staring out at the ocean; Desmond was watching Charlie; Tamara was staring at her hands. After a while of simply sitting, Charlie took out a piece of paper and a black marker. He thoughtfully penned down…something. "What are you writing?" Desmond asked curiously.
Charlie shook his head evasively. "Nothing," he shrugged. Tamara shot Desmond a "don't be so nosy look." "Okay," Charlie sighed. "I'm ready. Tell me how it's gonna happen."
"Are you sure? Maybe it's best to just-," Desmond began.
"I wanna know," Charlie interrupted firmly. Tamara was left to wonder why Charlie was choosing now to ask that rather important question.
"You're inside a hatch. There's a blinking yellow light. You enter a code; the light goes off, and you drown," Desmond told him.
Tamara raised her eyebrows. That was so random!
Charlie, on the other hand, appeared to think turning off lights and then drowning was a perfectly natural way to die. "You sure you saw Claire get into that helicopter?"
Desmond's answer was predictable. "Aye."
The three of them made their way to where Juliet, Jack, and Sayid were discussing a station called "The Looking Glass."
Jack was questioning Juliet. "If it's underwater, then how does it still work?"
Juliet glared at Jack. "Damn it, Jack. I'm a doctor, not a marine engineer."
"How it still works is irrelevant," Sayid said before laughing slightly. Jack and Juliet also began to laugh. "Sorry," Sayid said. "I was enjoying the joke; I was taking it in."
"Oh, I'm so glad we've got these people to be our leaders," Tamara mumbled.
Jack glared at her, and Sayid continued. "We need to get down there."
"No," Jack said bossily. "I'm not sending you on some suicide mission just so you can flip a switch. I'm trying to get these guys!"
"And I am trying to get us off this island, Jack!" Sayid proclaimed.
"If that is your real name," Tamara suddenly threw in dramatically.
"I'll do it," Charlie announced, now that Tamara had officially blown their cover.
"No," Jack said sharply.
"It'll be easy- swim down, flip the switch," and here Charlie made a weird popping noise, "swim back up."
"We don't need to worry about this right now. Let's just worry about them." Jack stalked off. Juliet and Sayid followed. Tamara, Charlie, and Desmond all looked at each other. For some reason, Desmond looked sad that Charlie couldn't go swimming to his death.
Tamara looked away from her manly companions and peered out at the ocean. Frowning, she blinked. She could have sworn she saw… No. Impossible! Or not. Tamara took off at a run down the beach. A boat was pulling into shore. As the figure in the boat began to run towards her, she recognized him: Alex's brainwashed boyfriend, Karl.
Sayid was all ready to pull some Iraqi Whoopass on Karl, but Tamara got there first. "Sayid, it's okay! Karl, what are you doing here?"
"My people," Karl gasped to the small crowd that had accumulated, "they're coming."
"It's okay, Karl," Tamara tried to soothe him. "We know."
"Then what are you still doing here?!" Karl demanded frantically.
"Because when your people show up here tomorrow, we're gonna be waiting for them," Sawyer said. Where did he come from?
"Tomorrow?" Karl asked, confused. "No, they're coming tonight!" He looked around at the shocked faces surrounding him. Then, for dramatic effect, he yelled, "They're coming right now!"
Six Hours Ago
Alex cut up the rabbit she was making for Karl. Let's hope it didn't have a number. Ben strolled into the camp, his steps choppy. He bypassed Alex and Brittany. "Hey," Alex greeted him. He turned around. Clearly, he was still angry at her for giving Locke her gun. Why did Ben give his sixteen year old daughter a gun? "Where are Locke and Tamara?"
Ben pulled out Alex's gun, and for one wild moment, Brittany thought that he was going to shoot Alex. "Here's your gun back," he told his "daughter," handing her the gun.
"Ben," Brittany said softly, "what did you do?"
Ben walked away. Brittany followed him to Richard. "What happened out there?" Richard asked. "Where's Locke?"
"Locke had an accident," Ben interrupted sharply.
"And Tamara?" Brittany demanded.
"She's returned to the survivor's camp," Ben said shortly.
"Where's Ryan?" he asked Richard.
Ryan magically appeared out of nowhere. "I'm here," he said, stating the obvious.
"How soon can you get a team together?" Ben demanded.
"Within the hour," Ryan replied.
"Then get going," Ben said. "Head to their camp."
"Moving up the schedule- Juliet may not have had enough time," Richard protested.
"Then we'll take all their women," Ben interrupted fiercely. Both Brittany and Alex could see that whatever had happened out there, it had shocked Ben.
"What about the men?" Ryan asked.
"If any of them are stupid enough to get in your way, kill them," Ben said dramatically. Brittany moved to tell Ben that it was a bad idea to kill the entire camp. Alex knew that it would do no good. Abandoning her rabbit, Alex got to her feet and made for the woods. She ran through the trees, calling Karl's name.
"It's me," she proclaimed.
Karl squeezed out of the banyan trees. "Alex? I thought you were bringing rabbit."
"You have to go," Alex told him.
"Did he find out I was here?" Karl asked worriedly.
Alex shook her head. "No. He's sending Price to their camp. You have to warn them."
"Alex-,"
"He's gonna kill them, Karl!" Alex exclaimed. "Austen and Ford saved your life. You owe them." She took out her gun and handed it to Karl. "You might need this."
"If I get caught, your father will kill me this time."
"Is he my father?" Karl and Alex shared a kiss, and Karl dashed off to save the day.
Present Time
"…and that's how it happened," Karl finished his story. Jack paced in front of Karl bitterly. How dare Ben send a team before they were supposed to! And how dare Karl know before he did!
"Is that everything?" he sniffed.
Karl nodded. "Yeah."
Perhaps Karl was wrong? Jack turned to Kate. "You trust him?" Kate shrugged because she's stupid.
Karl was angry. "You don't trust me? What about them?" He pointed to Juliet and Tamara. "She's a spy! She's supposed to mark the tents of the pregnant women with white rocks so she can take them!" He pointed to Juliet. "And she's," he pointed to Tamara, "friends with Ben's lover!"
"They know, Karl," Juliet said.
"But thanks," Tamara added. She glanced at the woman to the right of Juliet. Why was that woman holding two water bottles? Actually, she recalled, she had seen that woman several times before, and all she appeared to do was get water and tie her shoes.
"So, what do we do?" Hurley asked, drawing Tamara's attention away from the water-woman.
"We have to leave now," Sun suggested. "Hide."
"Where?" Bernard asked. "It's their island. If they want to kill us, they'll find us."
"That's the spirit, Bernard," Tamara said.
Jack resumed his pacing. "Sun's gonna go down in a few hours-,"
"That's nice, Jack, but you didn't answer Bernard's question," Tamara pointed out.
Jack glared at her. "Sorry," she muttered.
Jack continued as if she hadn't interrupted. "Do we have enough wire, yet?" he asked Rousseau.
"Not even close," she replied in her non-French accent.
"We got figure a different way of setting the dynamite off," Jack muttered, turning to Sayid.
"We can shoot," Sayid said.
"We don't have enough guns!" Jack whined. "He said that ten of them are coming, armed!"
"Not the Others," Sayid interrupted, "the tents. We can camouflage the dynamite next to the tents, target it from our positions at the tree line."
Jack went on as if it had been his idea. "Juliet marked three tents; that means we need three guns."
Karl pulled Alex's gun out of his pants. "WOAH!" Hurley exclaimed.
"Here, you can have mine too." He handed it to Sayid. Ooh, burn!
"I'll be your third," Danielle told Jack.
"We'll take your gun, but you're not staying here," Jack said bossily. "You're gonna lead everyone to the radio tower. Everyone!"
"Radio tower?" Claire and Tamara asked together.
Jack was pacing again, shaking his finger importantly. "If this doesn't work, we can' risk losing the chance of getting in contact with Naomi's boat, so everything has to happen at the same time." He turned to Charlie, who, for some odd reason had been staring at Desmond's elbow. "Charlie, you still up for a swim?"
Claire gave Charlie a "WTF?" look. "Yeah, I believe I am," Charlie replied.
"I'll go with him," Desmond said. Tamara gave Desmond a "WTF?" look.
Jack nodded. "Let's get to it," and off he walked. Charlie followed Claire from the site like a puppy.
Tamara and Desmond made their way to Desmond's tent. "So, your flashes," Tamara began, "are you in them?"
Desmond shook his head. "Just Charlie," he told her.
Tamara nodded and bit her lip. "Then, why are you going?"
Desmond looked at her seriously. "Because I have to."
"No, you don't," Tamara said. "I'm sure Charlie can manage."
Desmond shook his head. "He'll need someone to be there for him."
"You talkin' from experience?" Tamara sniffed. She was trying to hold back tears.
"No. Just common sense," Desmond said, wiping the lone tear that fell to Tamara's cheek with his thumb.
"Right," Tamara laughed, taking his hand with her own and trying to inflict some humor upon them. "Haven't got much of that."
Desmond smiled grimly. He cupped her chin in his free hand. Slowly, he leaned in and met her lips with her own. At first, Tamara was shocked, but then she melted into the kiss, responding passionately. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together.
"Come on," Desmond said. He took her hand and led her to the boat where Charlie was waiting. Charlie wrote on his piece of paper. He handed it to Tamara when he was done.
"What's this?" she asked, taking it delicately.
"A list of the five best moments of my sorry excuse for a life," Charlie told her. "Give it to Claire for me."
Tamara nodded. Desmond was making a weight belt to bring Charlie to the bottom of the ocean faster than swimming.
Tamara looked up when Hurley yelled after them. "Hey, dudes, wait up!" He came to a stop in front of them. "I wanna come with you guys- I'm sick of trekkin' and hiding. I wanna help. I'm a really good paddler."
Tamara and Desmond turned away as Charlie and Hurley had their little moment. "Promise me you'll come back in one piece," she told Desmond.
Desmond smiled slightly. "Yes, sir," he smirked. Tamara laughed a bit. She hugged Desmond tightly.
Tamara wiped her eyes and turned to Hurley. "Come along, Hurley. We should get ready to leave." She turned to Desmond and gave him one last smile before leading Hurley to the others.
"I'm gonna get Claire," Hurley told her. "Here," He handed her a leash with a yellow lab attached to the other end, "take Vincent."
Tamara watched Hurley go with an odd expression on her face. A woman whom Tamara knew to be Naomi came to stand beside her. "Were you one of the plane crash survivors?" Naomi asked her. Her accent was British.
"Aye," Tamara said softly before wincing. Desmond was starting to rub off on her. "Oh, wait. No. I'm a crash survivor, but I crashed in a boat," Tamara hastily corrected.
Naomi gave her a really funny look. "A boat?"
Tamara nodded enthusiastically. "So, who are you?"
"I parachuted to this island from a helicopter," Naomi replied. "I'm part of a search and recovery team hired out by Penelope Widmore."
"So, you're looking for Desmond, then?" Tamara asked.
Naomi nodded. "That's right."
Their conversation was cut short as Jack demanded that they leave. Sun and Rose were comforting each other; both of their husbands were staying behind to shoot the tents. Tamara and Vincent were walking by Sawyer, the late arrival.
"So, Tamara. In cahoots with the Others now, are you?" Sawyer said by way of greeting.
Tamara shrugged. "Well, as Karl so blatantly put it, I'm friends with Brittany, and she's Ben's lover. I don't really like Ben, though," she mused. "Tom's a bit pervy; Isabel is just weird; Danny was an ass; Alex is cool, though."
"The Boss's daughter," Sawyer pointed out. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense for you to be friends with her, Tamara."
"Why are you calling me 'Tamara?'" Tamara demanded.
Sawyer groaned. "I lost a bet; I can't use nicknames for a week."
Tamara smirked. "Must be hard on you."
"You have no idea," Sawyer muttered before falling back to talk to Kate.
It was just Tamara and Vincent. "Who names their dog 'Vincent?'" she mused out loud.
"Michael and Walt," a voice to her right said. It was Hurley.
"Who?" Tamara asked before she remembered. "Ooh! Michael! I never met Walt." Indicating Vincent, she said, "He's their dog?"
Hurley nodded. "Now that they're gone, who takes care of him?" Tamara asked.
"Um, me?" Hurley took a wild guess.
Tamara laughed. "That works; I used to have a dog," she mused.
Hurley nodded again. He probably didn't care. They continued to trek across the island. Tamara had been on the island for several weeks now, and the beauty and vastness of it never ceased to amaze her.
She bypassed Jack and Naomi (they were talking about sat phones) and caught up with Juliet.
"Hey," she panted. She was a little breathless; Vincent had been giving her a workout.
"Hey," Juliet smiled. "I haven't spoken to you in a while."
"Yeah, I know. Being shot, chased, and pulling pranks on Benry leaves little time for the internet," Tamara said apologetically.
"What kind of pranks? Juliet asked curiously.
"Oh, Alex and I painted eights on all his rabbits," Tamara shrugged.
"Why are you guys talking about pranks?" Jack asked, coming up behind them. Juliet smiled almost bashfully and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Tamara winked at Juliet suggestively, causing her to blush. Tamara, however, didn't get much more time to tease them because Vincent nearly ripped her arm out of her socket as he took off running. Tamara had to race to keep up.
It was dark, and, for some odd reason, Jack had decided to halt the camp on the top of a hill for all eyes to see. The camp watched, intrigued, as two of the prospective explosions took place. There was no third.
"There were supposed to be three explosions," Rose pointed out nervously.
"It didn't work," Kate pointed out. With a sigh, Tamara let go of Vincent's leash. He was still struggling to get away, and he plowed right into Kate's legs. She landed with a yell on her backside. Tamara snagged Vincent's leash and shrugged innocently in response to Kate's glower.
"We gotta keep going," Jack stated to the group. "I promised Sayid."
"If we just wait-!" Sun protested.
"No, Sun. Nobody is staying behind," Jack snapped.
"If you say 'live together, die alone,' Jack, I'm gonna punch you in your face," Rose scolded.
Jack smirked. Like Rose would ruin his "manly" face! "Fair enough, Rose."
For Tamara, the voyage to the radio tower was boring and uneventful. At one point (when they were almost there) Sawyer decided that he wanted to go back to the beach. Jack said no. Kate said no. Sawyer said yes. Juliet (randomly) said yes.
"I thought you didn't want to go back," Kate demanded. Her tone was offended and hurt.
"I didn't want to go with you," Sawyer told her abruptly.
"Ooh!" Tamara jeered.
"We don't have any guns," Jack whined.
"I know where there are some guns," Juliet told them.
"Alright, then," Sawyer said. He turned and strode away. He didn't walk; he strode.
Kate walked away. Tamara lingered, unnoticed, and she was caught up in an eavesdropping party.
"Don't do anything stupid," Jack implored.
"I won't if you won't," Juliet smiled. They shared a brief kiss, and Tamara turned, feeling awkward. She saw that Kate had been watching. Her expression was hurt and offended. Tamara was left to draw one conclusion: Kate was a whore.
Tamara was walking with Hurley and telling him just what she thought of the current president when he stopped. "Dude, I'm going to help Sawyer and Juliet. Wanna come?"
Tamara bit her lip. The idea was tempting, but she decided that she didn't want to risk her life to save the lives of people whom she didn't know. "Nah, Hurley. I think I'd like to be present when Jack phones home," she told him somewhat apologetically.
She could tell that Hurley was disappointed. Smiling, Tamara added, "Please be careful out there."
"Later dude," Hurley said before sauntering off.
It was sometime later, and Tamara was walking with Danielle when a voice she recognized and sort of hated rang out.
"Hello, Jack! We need to talk!" Ben was posing on the hill. Brittany and Alex were with him. Brittany skipped forward merrily and high-fived Tamara.
"Hey, you!" Brittany greeted her.
"What's up?" Tamara asked while Jack randomly told Naomi not to talk to Ben.
"The usual," Brittany shrugged before changing the subject. "You missed Ben's birthday party! Why'd you have to go and leave?!"
"I missed Desmond," Tamara lied. "He says 'hi,' by the way." Another lie.
"Alright," Brittany sighed. "I'll let you off the hook this time. Christmas, however, you'd better not run away," she warned. Then, looking around, she added, "So, where is Desmond?"
Tamara knew it wouldn't be right to tell Brittany where Desmond had gone. Ben was still near, and who knew what he might do? "He went with Charlie to some Dharma station. It was kind of depressing. He seemed so sad."
Apparently, Brittany already knew. "That's not good. Ben and I came to stop- whoa, where'd he go?" she interrupted herself, looking for her lover.
"They walked off together," Tamara told her. "I was watching them over your shoulder," which, in fact, she had. "I wonder where they're going?" Tamara teased.
Brittany rolled her eyes at Tamara's dirty mind. She then looked around at the rest of the camp, all of whom were watching the friends with funky looks on their faces. "I don't think they like me."
Tamara shrugged. "Their problem. Besides, you kind of did show up with the man they believe is their enemy."
Obviously, Brittany didn't care what these people thought about her that much because the next thing she said was, "Where's Juliet?"
"She left with Sawyer to rescue our friends or something."
"And John?"
Tamara paused. Did Brittany know? Ah, well. She's gonna know now! "Ben shot John."
Brittany took it in stride. "I had a feeling he did. Well, I've pretty much accepted the fact that I love a murderer."
"Good for you!" Tamara congratulated.
At that moment, Ben returned and Brittany went to him. Tamara was left to amuse herself. One of the people that never said or did anything of importance handed her a banana. Smiling, he walked off.
"I think someone's got a crush on you," Rose's voice said from behind Tamara.
"Who is he?" Tamara whispered, giving the banana a really funny look.
Rose shrugged.
Tamara could do all sorts of things. She could draw, write, ride horses, fire a gun (thanks to Desmond), swim, sail a boat, and many other things. Two things, however, she couldn't do. One of those things was whistle. The other (as she soon found out) was peel a banana.
Of course, her struggles were averted when Naomi and Brittany got into a cat fight. Brittany lost. Jack angrily tied her and Ben together. Thankful that she had got that out of her system, Tamara hurried over.
"Hey," Brittany grinned.
"Hi," Tamara gasped. "Hey, Benry," she greeted. She held out her banana to Brittany.
"Where'd you get that?" Brittany asked. She was practically drooling.
"I can't open it," Tamara explained. "Could you-?" She thrust the banana towards Brittany. "Oh, sorry, you can't," Tamara teased. She may not have been able to peel a banana, but at least she could use her hands.
"Karl, could you-? Why are you carrying Benry's walking stick?" Tamara interrupted herself.
Karl shrugged. "Could you peel this for me?" Tamara handed him her banana. Karl peeled it with ease and handed it back. Tamara stared at him. "I loosened it," she said defensively.
Brittany snorted, and Tamara turned to her and took a large bite out of her banana, moaning exaggeratedly at its goodness. Brittany glared at her.
At long last, they reached the radio tower. It was really quite random; it just sat in the middle of nowhere. The important people went inside to turn off Rousseau's signal. The important people were: Jack (of course), Kate (of course), Naomi (she had the phone), Danielle (she had the signal), and Alex (for some odd reason). Tamara stayed outside where Ben and Brittany were both tied to a tree. Karl was there, too, still carrying Ben's walking stick.
"You know, Tamara," Ben began. "I ordered Mikhail to kill Charlie. What do you think of that?"
"Charlie knew he was going to die," Tamara confessed. "What do you think of that?" she taunted.
Ben was undaunted. "Mikhail told me he was shooting at Charlie's friend in the boat. Would you happen to know who that would be?"
Tamara didn't answer. Instead, she used her death-glare in hopes that Ben would drop dead. It didn't work.
"It's Desmond, isn't it?" Ben wheedled. "The man you love. Mikhail probably killed him, too."
Tamara had had enough. She took Ben's walking stick from Karl and knocked him on the head. He didn't get knocked unconscious, but he did appear to be a bit dazed.
"Are you finished?" Tamara asked. Ben nodded mutely. Tamara grinned gleefully before doing a dance with Ben's cane. "I just one-upped Ben!" she sang, dancing with a freaked out Karl.
Brittany didn't join in her victory dance for two reasons: one, she was tied to a tree and two, she was worried about Ben. After all, he may have a concussion!
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" she panicked frantically. "Ben? Can you hear me, Ben?"
"That sun's bright," Ben stated lazily. He had just looked into the sun accidentally and now had a green light flashing in his vision.
"Oh my god! Brittany screamed. "Ben! Don't follow the light! Stay away from the light! Tamara!" she addressed her friend. "You killed him!" Brittany was now sobbing hysterically. Tamara, who was still dancing with Karl, paid her no mind. "Is anybody a doctor?!" Brittany screamed. Everyone at the camp gave her a really weird look and slowly moved away. "Ben," Brittany panted, "how many fingers am I holding up?!"
"I don't know!" Ben said grumpily. He couldn't tell because Brittany's hands were tied behind her back.
"Oh no! He's blind!" Brittany wailed. "Tamara! You blinded him!"
"Brittany!" Ben roared. "Stop yelling in my ear! Your dulcet tones are deafening!"
"Tamara, he's lost his hearing!" Brittany yelled even louder so that Ben could hear her.
"Tamara," Ben moaned, "can't you do something about your friend?"
Tamara paused in her victory dance and whacked Brittany in the head with Ben's cane. This time, her piñata was knocked out.
"Hooray~" the entire camp cheered. Tamara bowed. The creepy banana man approached her.
"Hey, Tamara. I'm Waldo," he said shyly, batting his long eyelashes.
He was about to say something else, but at that moment, Naomi rushed out of the radio tower in an attempt to get a signal on the satellite phone. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch Naomi walk around. "I've got a signal!" she cried. Eagerly, she held the phone to her ear. Her breath hitched, and blood spilled out of her mouth. Naomi fell forward, a knife sticking out of her back. John Locke was behind her, still in a throwing position.
"JOHN!" Jack roared, effectively waking Brittany.
"Wha' happened?" she moaned.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Jack continued.
"Gee, I don't know," Tamara muttered sarcastically. "It looks like he threw a knife in her back, but I could be mistaken."
John pulled out a gun and pointed it at Jack. "Shoot him!" Tamara, Brittany, and Benry yelled. Rousseau whacked Ben upside the head.
"Oh my god!" Brittany shrieked. "She killed him! Ben!" she wailed. As a response to her frantic cries, the rest of the camp wailed, too. Vincent was howling. Tamara whacked Brittany upside the head with Ben's walking stick, effectively knocking her out again.
Waldo approached Tamara and kissed her. "I'm sorry," Tamara lied, gasping for breath. "I'm a lesbian."
"What about Desmond?" Waldo whined. "I've seen you kissing him!"
"Oh…I thought Desmond was a girl," Tamara told him. "His hair is so Pantene perfect!"
"I've noticed," Waldo sighed wistfully. Tamara whacked him on the head with Ben's cane.
Meanwhile, Jack was phoning home. "Minkowski," a voice on the other end said.
"Are you on the boat?" Jack asked before hastily correcting himself. "The freighter?"
"Who is this?" Minkowski demanded. "How did you get this frequency?"
"Naomi parachuted here," Jack told him.
"Naomi? You found her? Is she alright?" Um, about that…
"My name is Jack Shephard. I'm one of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. Can you get a fix on our location?"
"Hell yeah, we can!" Minkowski replied. "Just sit tight. We'll send Frank Lapidus, Daniel Faraday, C.S Lewis, and a MaelStrom in our chopper N842."
"Okay," Jack replied. Everyone at the camp cheered except for Ben. Tamara mused that if Ben had been Jack, he would have been sobbing hysterically.
It was sometime later, and they were still at the radio tower for reasons Tamara didn't know. The walkie-talkie crackled to life. It was Hurley. He was asking Jack about rescue. When Jack told him the news, Hurley gave a cheer.
Shortly after that random interlude, Minkowski phoned back. His voice had taken on a dark, stalker-like tone. He was asking for the late Naomi Dorrit.
"Yeah, she, uh, just went for some firewood," Jack told him. "I'll see if I can find her." He turned around to put the late Naomi on the phone, only to discover that the late Naomi had moved. She moved pretty fast for a dead woman.
Jack looked at Ben as though he was hiding her somewhere. Ben gave Jack a look that quite clearly said, "Bite me."
"Where'd she go?" Jack asked Ben, as if it was all his fault.
Ben put on a clueless expression (that fooled no one, mind you) and shrugged. Rousseau and Kate both found separate trails. Jack decided to follow Rousseau's trail. After all, Danielle had lived on the island for sixteen years.
Tamara and Ben watched as Kate and Jack hugged their farewells. Kate took the Sat phone out of Jack's pants.
Ben had been watching, and he smirked. "Ba ba boom."
"Oookay then," Tamara stated, rolling her eyes.
"He's coming with us," Jack told Rousseau, who looked at him incredulously.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Because I don't trust him with anybody but me," Jack sniffed.
"What about Brittany?" Tamara asked, nodding to her still unconscious friend.
Jack waved over Waldo and a couple of his creepy friends to drag her along. "You go, too," Jack told Tamara.
"Jack," Tamara whined. "I wanna go with you guys!"
Jack shook his head. "No, I don't trust you."
Tamara pouted, and Ben said, a bit too loudly, "Thank God!"
Jack heard him and instantly changed his mind. "Never mind, Tamara. You can come."
Tamara beamed. "Thank you, Ben!" she sang before giving him a kiss full on the lips.
Ben spat on the ground quickly. "Blech!" he exclaimed.
It was the night now, and Tamara was sick and tired of poking Ben in the ribs, which had been her pass time for the last several hours. Now, they were stopped as Rousseau bent over to examine the blood trail.
"So, Benry, tell me," Tamara began, "have you and Brittany…you know?"
The oblivious Ben looked at Tamara cluelessly. "You know what I'm talking about…." Tamara grinned suggestively. This was fun. Ben merely gave her that look. "Had sex?" Tamara enunciated a bit too loudly. Jack and Rousseau looked up in shock. Tamara was pleased to see that, by the light of the torches, Ben had turned a bright red.
"Hi," he muttered.
Rousseau and Jack went back to studiously examining the trail. "Blood trail ends here," Rousseau stated finally.
"You mean she stopped bleeding here?" Jack asked.
"No, I mean it ends," Rousseau stated. "She fooled us, Jack."
Ben said "ba ba boom" at the same time that Tamara pointed at Jack and said with a smile, "You got Punk'd."
"Better call the boat," Ben said, glad to join in on the Jack torture. "Tell them she's getting a really big bundle of firewood."
Jack made a grab for the phone, only to find that it was missing. Ben gave another look that said, quite clearly, "Bite Me."
Of course, he didn't actually say that. Instead, he said, "I should've told you that I saw her take the phone, but you beat me up, Jack."
"Who took the phone?" Jack demanded.
"Kate did," Ben smirked. "She took it when she was hugging you."
Jack looked hurt and offended. Kate and he really belonged together.
With disappointment, they began to make their way to the cockpit of the plane because the magically knew that the rest of the camp would congregate there.
At last, they reached their destination. Everyone else was there, including John. The first thing Jack did when he saw John was punch him in the face. He pulled a gun out an shoved it to John's throat.
"You're not gonna shoot me, Jack," Locke smirked. Jack pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.
"Loser," a voice near Tamara said. Glancing over, Tamara spotted a grumpy looking Brittany squished between Waldo and his friend.
"Hey," Tamara greeted her. "Who's your friend?" She gestured to Waldo's friend.
"Tamara, meet Wilbur," Brittany said. "Wilbur, meet Tamara. Now, go bug her."
Wilbur wandered over to Tamara obediently and latched onto her arm. "What did I do?" Tamara demanded.
"You know what you did," Brittany scolded.
"Um, no, I don't," Tamara said, raising her eyebrows at Brittany's odd behavior. Before she could reflect on Waldo's pig-like friend Wilbur (his nose was very pig-like), she felt a warm hand take hers. Tamara looked over and saw Desmond staring at her, a sad smile on his face. With difficulty, Tamara wrenched her arm out of Wilbur's grasp and threw her arms around him. "Are you alright?"
Desmond nodded. "Charlie managed to get in contact with the main land. One of Penny's friends answered the call. Just before he died, Charlie let me know that the people on the boat aren't who they say they are."
"So, you mean Ben is right?" Tamara whispered.
"Ben's always right," Brittany scoffed.
Jack's voice erupted from behind them. "You killed Naomi!"
"Well, technically, he didn't kill her yet," Ben stated.
"Ba ba boom," Tamara and Brittany said simultaneously.
"Yes, he did," Kate's voice rang out. "She just died." Kate handed the stolen phone back to Jack.
The camp got into an argument about the people on the boat. It was all a garble of voices until Hurley's dulcet tones rang out. "He's dead! Charlie's dead!"A shocked silence ensued. Tamara tightened her grip on Desmond's hand. Claire bowed her head, tears coursing down her cheeks. Hurley continued. "Charlie went down there to help us, to save us. But something happened. He changed his mind. Whatever it was, it must have been bad, because the last thing he did was warn us that these people aren't who they say they are!" For once in his life, Jack was shocked into silence. Hurley wasn't done yet. "So, I'm not listening to you. I'm listening to my friend." That insulted Jack. Hurley and both made their way to stand by Locke, who was waiting for those that would heed Charlie's warning. Rousseau joined them. Brittany looked at Ben.
"Jack, with your permission, I'd like to go with John," Ben said. Jack nodded grudgingly.
"Ba ba boom," Tamara and Brittany whispered again.
Brittany followed Ben, and Wilbur followed her. Tamara sighed and began to follow them. Desmond pulled her back. "What are you doing?"
Tamara realized at that moment that Desmond intended to stay with Jack. "You were there," she whispered. "I'm not about to get killed by these people. Come with us," she pleaded.
Desmond shook his head sorrowfully. "They had a picture of me and my girlfriend, but it's not Penny's boat. I have to figure out how they got a hold of it."
Tamara took a deep breath. "When you change your mind," she choked out around her tears, "come and find me." She nodded to him and turned towards the others, her new traveling mates. Waldo followed her.
Sawyer was the last to go. Kate stopped him. "What are you doing?"
"Same thing I've always done, Kate. Survivin'." The way he said this one word made him sound Irish.
"We'll be at the Barracks, when you change your mind," Locke announced.
"For those of you that survive," Brittany whispered the unspoken truth.
"Ba ba boom," Ben smiled.
"Shut up," Tamara said grumpily.
Ten Years Ago
The hat box was round, and there was a picture of a swan on it. It was a Dharma hat box. And it didn't contain a hat. It contained a wig. A blonde one.
The location was an expensive London flat. It's occupants were two girls in their late teens.
"See ya later," the shorter of the two said in a faux London accent.
"Don't let the monks molest you!" the taller girl teased. Her accent was also false. "Don't forget your ID!" she reminded her friend.
The girl brushed her false blond locks and snatched the identification as she headed out the door.
Penelope Widmore started her day.
It was day time. Tamara and Brittany were at the back of the little party of rebels. John wasn't allowing Ben and Brittany to walk near each other.
"So, I have a question," Brittany began. Tamara nodded to indicate that she was listening. "I've seen Desmond several times now, and you talk about him all the time, but I've never spoken to him. How come?"
Tamara was rather taken aback. "Um, I don't know. Because you're rude?" she suggested.
"Take that back!" Brittany exclaimed, but she knew Tamara was joking.
"What have you and Ben been doing since I last saw you?" Tamara asked after a while.
"Well," Brittany began, "we threw his surprise party with no help from you, thank you very much-," Tamara rolled her eyes, "then we discovered that the one guy was going down to the Looking Glass-,"
"Not 'the one guy,'" Tamara snapped. "His name was Charlie Pace."
"that name seems familiar," Brittany mused.
"He was the bass guitarist for Drive Shaft," Tamara explained. Brittany gasped. Drive Shaft was their all time favorite rock band. When they had first started out, Brittany had had the biggest crush on Charlie. Tamara had always been partial to Liam, herself.
"I can't believe Charlie's dead!" Brittany gasped. Angrily, she stormed up to the front of the line and slapped Ben.
"Woah!" Hurley exclaimed.
Ben was speechless. He turned to Tamara. She grinned. Ben scowled. He knew Tamara had to be behind this. She was evil like that. "You killed Charlie!" Brittany cried.
"He did what?!" Claire cried. Both she and Hurley moved to attack Ben. Brittany changed her mind about being mad at Ben, and she moved to protect him alongside Locke. Sawyer took any excuse to pummel Ben, so he launched himself into the brawl. Although Alex didn't care all that much for her father, she still felt the need to protect him, so she joined. Danielle and Karl joined in to protect Alex. At Brittany's command, Wilbur joined in to be part of Ben's guard. At Tamara's command, Waldo joined in to beat up Ben. The few survivors that had come along joined whichever side they pleased. Tamara, on the other hand, snatched a papaya out of Hurley's hand (he had been about to launch it at Brittany) and sat cross-legged on the grass. As she watched, she smiled.
"I've successfully started my first riot," she congratulated herself.
Hours later, they were all seated. The solution to the conflict was to tie Ben to a tree. Brittany had wanted to tie Tamara up as well, but Locke had disagreed. Tamara never did anything destructive. If only he knew.
Ben was trying to get Alex's attention. At last, Alex looked at him. "What?" she asked.
"I need to talk to you," Ben pleaded.
"Shut your mouth, Mr. Linus," Karl threatened.
"Kaaaarl," Ben drawled, "if you're going to sleep with my daughter I insist that you call me Ben."
Karl strode forward, his hand on his gun. Sawyer stopped him. "Easy, kid," he soothed, sending Karl and Alex away. Tamara was disappointed; she had wanted another fight.
Ben proceeded to insult Sawyer. Tamara wasn't listening. She was too busy trying to evade Wilbur's wandering eyes. Brittany was training Wilbur in the art of Tamara Torture. Suddenly, Sawyer began to pummel Ben.
"Not again," Brittany sighed. Locke bounded forward and rescued Ben.
"Anyone wanna tell me why we're keeping this bastard alive?" Sawyer demanded.
"We're keeping him alive because we might need him," Locke stated. "We're not killers," he continued.
Brittany, who had been taking a sip of water, choked and started laughing.
"Okay, James, let's kill him, right now. In front of his daughter," Locke said sarcastically.
"Oh, he's using the sympathy card," Brittany told Tamara.
"Fine, you walk him," Sawyer said, handing Ben's leash to Locke.
"I'll walk him!" Brittany volunteered.
"No you won't," Locke snapped.
"Things just aren't going your way, are they?" Tamara asked sympathetically.
"No," Brittany huffed.
It was several hours later when the travelers heard a loud splash. Making their way to the nearest body of water (which happened to be a lake none of them knew existed), they saw a woman that appeared to be happy to be living. She was laughing and swimming in a circle. The entire group gave her a really funny look, and she finally noticed them.
One might say that her face was red from heat and excitement, but it wasn't; she was embarrassed at being caught in the act of being weird.
"Hi," she gasped. Locke gave her his creepy 'I shall molest you,' grin.
The woman swam to the shore. They made room for her to sit in the center of the circle. "Who are you?" she asked.
"We're survivors from Flight 815," Locke said. Tamara and Brittany were left to wonder if this mysterious woman thought it odd that they had a man tied up as a prisoner.
"I can't believe you guys are live," the woman gasped. She spotted Claire and asked," Is that your baby?"
"Yeah," Claire said, her expression guarded.
"Did you have him on the island?" Claire nodded. "That's amazing. Now," she began a new train of thought, "I've got a transponder, so if we just sit tight, we'll be rescued, okay?"
Nobody answered. The poor woman looked very uncomfortable.
"What do we do?" Claire asked Locke. Apparently, nobody could think for themselves.
"She's coming with us," Locke said.
"No!" the woman protested. "We need to stay here so they can find us!"
"That's your problem. We don't want to be found," Locke said. Ignoring the woman's confusion, he kidnapped her transponder and said, "We need a decoy."
"I volunteer Tamara!" Brittany exclaimed.
"Stop being so bloody mean!" Tamara shouted.
Ben grinned; he had trained Brittany well.
"I was thinking more along the lines of Vincent," Locke said, handing the transponder to Tamara. Yes, she still had a hold of his leash.
Tamara attached the transponder to Vincent's collar and unhooked his leash. "Run and be free!" she exclaimed, earning herself some weird looks.
"Jack's gonna be so mad!" Brittany giggled. Tamara nodded gleefully, and Ben's eyes lit up.
As they continued moving towards the Barracks, Tamara turned to Alex. "Alex, what ever happened to your slingshot?" she asked.
"Ben confiscated it," Alex said sadly.
"How rude," Tamara stated mildly. "Why?"
"He found out that we were behind the rabbit scandal," Alex sighed.
"How?" Tamara demanded.
Alex shrugged. "He's my father. He has super secret powers."
"Aah." That explained it.
Later still, they had halted for no apparent reason, and Locke appeared to be arguing with Wonderwoman. The conversation was put to a dead halt when Ben rudely shot her.
Sawyer roared and went to restrain him. Locke rushed to Wonderwoman's aid. Everybody else just watched.
Wonderwoman let out a gasp. "Vest!" she gasped out.
Locke ripped open her shirt. "Whoa! Hey now!" Brittany exclaimed, jumping to the wrong conclusion.
Ben had a look on his face that quite clearly said, "I'm screwed."
"Are you alright?" Locke asked Wonderwoman.
"I feel like I've got a cinderblock on my chest, but I'll survive," she replied.
"I guess this is the part where I say 'I told you so,'" Sawyer growled. Tamara couldn't help but wonder why Sawyer was so grumpy in the first place.
"James, I stand corrected," Locke stated.
"Do you want to do it, or should I?" Sawyer asked.
"You do realize that they're talking about killing your boyfriend, don't you?" Tamara addressed Brittany conversationally.
"Oh," Brittany said, as if she was realizing for the first time that this could be bad. "That's not very nice."
"It's my mess," Locke was saying. "I'll clean it up."
"Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean," Tamara and Brittany sang together, grinning wickedly.
"John, please," Ben was pathetically begging now. How un-Ben-like.
"No, no!" Alex cried, suddenly caring about her father.
"Danielle, you should escort Alex away from here," Locke suggested.
"No, no!" Alex cried.
"I'm confused. Does she not want us to kill Ben, or does she want to see him die?" Wilbur asked.
Tamara looked at him, shocked. "He can talk?" she asked Brittany.
"Apparently," Brittany said, just as surprised as Tamara.
"You don't seem too worried about Ben," Tamara pointed out.
Brittany snorted. "Honestly! Do you think he's really going to kill Ben? It's like he's a main character in a television show- do you really think he'll be killed two episodes in?"
"What makes you think it's two episodes in?" Tamara asked.
"All these new revelations- we're building up for the season finale," Brittany explained, "but we've also recently had some major questions answered, so the season finale was obviously recent."
"Ah." It all made sense now.
"Anyone who doesn't want to see this should leave now," Locke announced.
They all looked around. "No one's leaving," Tamara pointed out.
"John, we should talk about this!" Claire exclaimed.
"Claire, what if one of those bullets had hit you or the baby?" John demanded.
"Even though she was behind Ben!" Brittany grumbled.
"John, listen," Ben stammered. "I have information that you need. I have answers."
Locke paused, his gun to Ben's throat. "What is the monster?"
"What?" Ben asked nervously.
"Because that is so pertinent," Brittany grumbled at the injustice of such a stupid question.
"Who says 'pertinent' anymore?" Tamara asked.
"I don't know," Ben said.
"Hold on. I'm confused," Tamara interrupted. "Ben doesn't know what the monster is, or he doesn't know who says the word 'pertinent' anymore?"
"He doesn't know what the monster is," Karl explained.
"Then good bye, Benjamin," Locke was saying. Tamara laughed because he had used Benry's full name. Brittany yawned loudly as Locked cocked the gun.
"Her name is Charlotte Lewis!" Ben explained. "Charlotte Staples Lewis. Born July second, nineteen seventy-nine, Essex, England. Parents David and Jeanette. Eldest of three, all girls. She was raised in Bromsgrove. Did her understudies at Kent. Took her PhD in Cultural Anthropology at Oxford. She's here with two other team members and a pilot. Their names Daniel Faraday, Miles Straume, Frank Lapidus."
There was a shocked silence. Ben continued. "Your instinct was right, John. These people are a threat, and if you shoot me you'll never know how great a threat they were. Because I know what they're doing here. I know what they want."
"What do they want?" Sawyer snarled.
"Me, James. They want me," Ben told him.
"How do you know all this?" John asked.
"Because I have a man on their boat," Ben said.
"If this were a television show," Brittany told Tamara, "and respectable viewer would already know who he is because his name would be in the credits. It would be the worst-kept secret ever."
"Too true," Tamara agreed.
Ten Years Ago
Tamara was talking to a random monk. "All ten cases are ready to go. Desmond there is just getting the last one."
"Thank you," Tamara replied in a flawless British accent, "and my father sent the check in advance." When she spoke of her father, she was actually talking about the real Penelope Widmore's father, Charles Widmore.
"Please thank him for his generous donation. Always a pleasure to see you." The monk turned away and said a few words to the man called Desmond before disappearing.
"I think we should be able to fit it all in the back, and if not, we'll put the rest in the front," Tamara said before turning to face Desmond for the first time. "Is that alright?" she asked with a glowing smile.
"Absolutely," Desmond grinned back. Tamara noticed that he was Scottish. "You better drive safe, miss, this vineyard only makes a limited number of these cases each year."
"Is that so?" Tamara asked.
"Aye, it's 'cause the monks are lazy."
Tamara laughed. Not only was Desmond good-looking and Scottish, he was funny, too.
"It's easier making grape jelly than wine," Desmond elaborated.
Tamara grinned and was quiet for a while before asking, "And how do you know so much about monks?"
"Because I'm an ex-monk," Desmond told her.
"Really?" Tamara asked, genuinely surprised. Desmond did not look like a monk.
"As of last night," Desmond continued. "I was fired."
Tamara laughed again. He must have been horrible to be fired from a monastery.
"It wasn't that funny," Desmond said, mildly offended.
"I'm sorry," Tamara fought the urge to laugh in his face again. "I didn't know that monks could be fired."
"Oh, they can," Desmond said, and Tamara fought the urge to say 'obviously.' "You know I was told in no uncertain terms that the abbey wasn't where I was meant to end up. Just a step along the path. You know, God allegedly has bigger plans for me."
"Something tells me you don't entirely believe that."
"I suggest that's because I don't."
"Well, maybe they're right," Tamara continued, "I mean, just think, if you hadn't gotten fired, we wouldn't have met, and then how could you possibly help me unload these crates in Carlisle?"
"Did I say I was coming to Carlisle with you?" Desmond asked.
"Not yet," Tamara smiled. "I mean, of course, if an ex-monk already has plans, then…"
"You know, I don't usually get into cars with strangers," Desmond teased.
"Well, in that case, I'm Penelope." A pause. "Penny."
"Desmond. Very nice to meet you, Penny."
Locke was kneeling on the ground in what Tamara and Brittany both remembered as Jacob's front fence. Aaron, being the annoying baby he was, was crying. Well, wailing, more like.
"John, how much longer is it gonna be? I need to feed Aaron," Claire said.
"And none of us really want to see that," Brittany said cheerfully.
John looked at Ben, who looked at John, who looked at Ben, who looked at John. Both turned to Tamara and Brittany.
"What?" the two girls asked simultaneously.
"You offended Jacob," Ben said. Truthfully, he didn't look all that upset about it.
"This is getting ridiculous," Tamara groaned.
"Why do we always get blamed for everything?" Brittany demanded. "Actually," she mused, "I never get blamed for anything when Tamara's not here." Tamara paled and hid behind Waldo. Brittany grinned evilly and rested her hand on Wilbur's shoulder. "Wilbur," she instructed, "attack!"
Wilbur let loose a fierce war cry and charged at Tamara and Waldo. Tamara squeaked and ran for the Barracks. Waldo was close behind her.
As Tamara disappeared, her voice floated back to the camp. "I'll get you for this, Brittany!"
"Now what?" Claire asked.
"We follow them," Locke shrugged.
"Attack Tamara!" Brittany cried as she led the camp against her best friend. The camp, too, let out fierce war cries.
Tamara could hear them and let out another wail. "Why does everybody hate me so much?"
Unfortunately, the chase couldn't last them forever. Tamara smacked right into the barrier signaling the presence of a deadly sonic fence. She stopped as Waldo came up beside her, wheezing. Tamara crossed her arms and pouted, glaring at the fence.
Waldo collapsed on the ground, wheezing pathetically. "I need…my…inhaler," he gasped out.
Tamara sighed. "Great," she grumbled, "just great. My only ally has asthma."
The war cries of the camp came within hearing shot. Brittany was in the lead. Ben came last, hobbling around as best as he could.
"We have a hostage!" Brittany exclaimed, brandishing Ben. She was holding a gun to his head. "Surrender, or I'll shoot!"
Tamara sat on the ground and continued to put.
"Brittany!" Ben snapped.
"Sorry," Brittany muttered. She led Ben to the pylons, and he entered a code. The fence powered down, and the now-sane camp proceeded on their way to the Barracks. "Since Juliet is no longer with us," Brittany began, "I think that Tamara and I should live there."
Ignoring Ben's slightly miffed look at the knowledge that he would no longer have Brittany to himself, Tamara jumped in the air excitedly. "Splendid! It'll be just like old times!"
Tamara and Brittany burst through the door to Juliet's old home. Tamara flopped on the couch and turned the television on. Brittany went exploring, and she soon returned excitedly. "Juliet had two phones!" she exclaimed. "Here!" She pointed out an old-fashioned looking phone. Tamara picked it up and put her ear to it.
Hurley's voice rang out. "…and so, I was all 'the numbers came from Australia!' and here I am."
"Wow, Hurley," Claire's voice answered.
"What about you, Claire? Why were you in Australia?" Hurley asked.
"Um, I was born in Australia."
Tamara hung up. "The Others have a party line!" she shouted.
"Seriously?" Brittany demanded. Tamara nodded.
"Go get the other phone- we're gonna eavesdrop!" Tamara laughed. Brittany grinned and disappeared into Juliet's room.
Both girls picked up the receiver and listened eagerly. Claire and Hurley had hung up, but two others were talking. Both were men. One was Locke. The other was some guy they didn't know.
"What do you know about Charlie?" the strange man asked.
"Charlie was trying to find his way, just like you," Locke replied.
"What do you know about the Others?" Gosh, this man was inquisitive.
"We're not the only people on this island," Locke said.
There was a long moment of silence. Both Tamara and Brittany were about to hang up when the strange man spoke up. "You were in a wheelchair."
Um, what?!
"I don't know what you're talking about," Locke said after a pause.
"Rico's Pawn Shop; I saw you- get me the battery, or I'll tell your secret."
"Fine," Locke grumbled. Tamara and Brittany hung up. Brittany entered the living room, and they stared at each other in shock.
How could John be in a wheelchair? It was another mystery of the strange island revealed. That wasn't what mattered, though. Identical evil grins grew on the women's faces, and they cried simultaneously, "Blackmail!"
Tamara had decided that she and Brittany needed to be neighborly. After discovering that it was almost Christmas, they had felt the need to host a Christmas party on Christmas Eve. So, now, Tamara was following the clichéd tradition of asking a neighbor for a cup of flour.
The perfect neighbor to ask: Sawyer. She walked in without knocking (they never knocked in I Love Lucy), and called for Sawyer and his roommate, Hurley. Receiving no answer, Tamara made her way to Sawyer's bedroom and walked in.
"Hey, Sawyer, I was wondering if I could borrow- oh, god! Don't you two ever quit?"
For, indeed, Kate and Sawyer were in bed together…again. "Flour's in the cupboard sweetheart," Sawyer grinned.
"Right," Tamara muttered, eyes wide. "Roses are red, Benjamin's are blue. Kate's a whore, but we love you!" Grinning, she kissed Sawyer's cheek and darted away, ignoring Kate's shouts as she retrieved the flour.
Eight Years Ago
Tamara had moved. She no longer lived at Desmond's old flat. Brittany was working late. They needed money to pay for their trip to Italy. Their trip around the world was taking much longer than they had anticipated. That's what happens when you assume the identity of a friend who's out of the country and then fall in love with a random Scottish man.
The phone rang, and Tamara moved to answer it. "Hello?"
"Penny?" a familiar, desperate voice came from the other end. Tamara sighed. Great.
"What do you want, Desmond?"
Desmond started speaking very quickly, as though he was in a great hurry. "Penny, listen. I'm in trouble, and I think something's happening to me, and I'm confused, and I need to see you."
Tamara raised her eyebrow. She hadn't known it was possible to say all of that in a single sentence. "You broke up with me, and then you joined the army!" Seriously, who did that? "And now you call me with the expectation that I still care about you? Yeah, I think you are confused, Desmond."
Desmond spoke again, in that same hurried tone. "No, no. I'm not." Now, Tamara was confused. "Look, I've got two days leave starting tonight. Can I…can I come and see you?"
Men. All the same. All thick. "No. No, and don't go showing up at the flat either, 'cause I've moved."
"Moved? Where?"
Tamara scoffed. Like she would tell him. "That doesn't matter. Look, Desmond, I'm going to go. Please, just don't call me again."
"Look, look, now listen, Penny, Penny, I need-," Desmond's voice went silent, and Tamara hung up.
Not three days later, there came a frantic knocking at the door. Tamara went to answer it because Brittany was once again, working late. She was met with Desmond's frantic face. "Desmond? What are you doing here?"
"I had to, I mean, I tried to call you, but you disconnected your phone."
"Yeah, because I moved," Tamara replied. "Look, I don't know if you're getting the signals, Desmond, but I'm trying to make a clean break from you, so if you don't mind…." She tried to shut the door in hi sface, but Desmond was rather persistent.
"Wait a minute, Pen, please wait. I just need to get your mobile number, okay?"
"Why would I give you that?" Tamara asked.
"Because I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with you, and, and I know that now, and I'm sorry, and-,"
"Don't, just don't-," Tamara interrupted.
"-and I understand," Desmond interrupted right back. "And I know it's- it's too late to change things, but if I need to tell you something, and I need you to listen to me, and I know it's going to sound ridiculous, but please, Pen, I need you to listen to me," Desmond finished with a plea.
Tamara let him inside. "Just, say what you need to say and go."
Desmond was speaking hurriedly. "I know this doesn't make any sense because it doesn't make sense to me, but…eight years from now, I need to call you, and I can't call you if I don't have your mobile number."
"What?"
"Look, Penny, just give me your number. I know I've ruined things, and I know you think things are over between us, but they're not. If there's any part of you that still believes in us, just give me your number."
"And what's to say you won't call me tonight or tomorrow?"
"I won't call for eight years. December 24, 2004. Christmas Eve. I promise. Please, Pen."
"If I give you the number, will you leave?"
"Aye." Tamara gave Desmond the number and pushed him out. The next day, Tamara and Brittany left England. Tamara did her best to forget Desmond, but she never got a new cell phone.
They were at the Christmas party when Tamara's phone rang. She went to her room to answer it. "Hello?"
"Penny?" That's all it took for her to remember the British adventure.
"Desmond?" she asked gleefully.
"Penny…Penny, you answered. You answered, Tamara," Desmond said.
"Des, where are you?"
"I'm, I'm on a boat. Oh, my God, is that really you?"
"Yeah. Yes, it's me."
"You believe me? You still care about me?"
Tamara nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Of course I do."
"I love you, Tamara. I've always loved you. I'm so sorry. I love you."
"I love you, too," Tamara replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
After a few more affirmations of love and many promises to find one another again, the connection was lost. Tamara collapsed on the bed and giggled gleefully.
The party was almost over, and Ben and Brittany were spending a few minutes together in Brittany's room. Ben had to go to his prison shortly. "You know," Ben began awkwardly.
"Yeah?" Brittany urged.
"I've always loved-,"
Oh my god, he's gonna say it! Brittany thought, deliriously happy.
Ben cleared his throat. "I've always loved…this room." He hurried away.
Brittany stared at the door, very much put out. She sat on her bed.
"Fuck."
Zomg! Foul language in a T and B adventure?! The horror! That scene is actually based on the film Mansfield Park with Billie Piper. There was no F bomb in the movie though. I just thought it was hysterical.
The poem I recite to Sawyer and Kate is a poem Brittany and I wrote ages ago.
The…uh…flashback part…wasn't my fault. I wrote it shortly after The Constant because Brittany was like, "Do the Constant!" So I did.
Here's how I see things: Tamara and Brittany were on the run, and had connections, somehow, to the Widmores, and they promised to protect them, so they simulated themselves into British society, and never continued with their trip around the world because of Tamara's affair. Brittany wasn't happy with that, but she adjusted. Then, when Tamara and Desmond broke up, they hung around while they enjoyed safety. Presumably, they got caught, and had to leave after Desmond had his little Time Travel adventure. Tamara pushed it to the back of her mind because humans have a tendency to suppress unpleasant events, and the break up with Desmond was violent. Not in a physical sense, but it really tore at her, even though he was just a fling…it was a two year long fling. As for the cell phone…YES! Cell phones were available in the '90s. You can change your cell phone without changing your number. I've done it before. And, anyway, as I've said before, Tamara's phone is a superphone. And that's because my phone is a superphone in real life. Seriously, you can get service anywhere.
This has to be said, because I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea: I wrote this before Obama became president. The "current president" I'm talking about at the beginning of the chapter to Hurley is Bush.
Next chapter: Brittany's chapter. The Shape of Things to Come up until the season four finale. We kill off at least two characters…one a canon kill; the other, well, we never see him anyway!
No clue when it'll be posted, seeing as how, the reason this one is late is because I've recently been swamped by homework. Gotta go write a children's book for Creative Writing now!