The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Twenty-One :: Close
Edward
She started to stir a few hours later, and I wasn't sure if it was because she had stayed up really late and I had woken her up, or if it was because of my expertise, I thought with a smile. I didn't stop the steady rhythm of trailing my fingers up and down her spine until she moved a couple minutes later. I slid my hand down to her waist like my other one as she slid her hands underneath her and propped herself up against my chest. It was a beautiful sight, I had an amazing view, and an entrancing shade of pink spread across her soft cheeks when she met my eyes smiling up at her. I lifted my hands to touch her delicate face, thinking once again how beautiful it was when she did that. Did I really want to try to take that away from her, damn her to my existence? Knowing my answer made me despise myself, and I made myself put it out of my mind to deal with later.
"I'm sorry for falling asleep on you," she whispered shyly, the smooth sound of her soft voice finally breaking the near silence of the room.
"Don't be. I'm not," I told her with a smile. I couldn't bring myself to tell her why exactly it had been so amazing. I wanted to hear her say it to me for real, but on her own terms. I didn't want to pressure her, but I was set on giving her more reasons to want to. I leaned up to kiss her, and let her push me back into the pillows when she leaned into me. She took my face gently in her hands, leaning back to look at me with a timid smile.
A little bit of fear trickled into my happy mood. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
The smile that she gave me was dazzling, lighting up her face. "Okay is an understatement. No Edward, you didn't hurt me," she said with a bit of a laugh before leaning back down and kissing me again. She held onto me tightly enough for me to believe she was putting all of her strength in it. Her pressure felt light as a feather of course, and it was one of the little things that worried me. She was just so delicate, but I was here to protect her now and I would never let anything happen to her. Her enthusiasm though made me smile against her lips and when she pulled away she rested her head against my chest once more. I happily wrapped my arms around her again, smiling and feeling so whole and content with her right where she was.
I would have been more than happy spending the day just like this, I was certain that I didn't want her to put a shirt on, but I also wanted her to enjoy her weekend. "What would you like to do today? It's not even noon yet."
"I don't know, it's so hot," she mumbled against my chest. I started rubbing my cool hands up and down her back again, and she sighed happily as she relaxed even more against my chest, making me laugh.
I wasn't sure if Esme had her air conditioning on, we were always so worried about her being too cold in the house and making her sick, but I offered the idea anyways.
"Mmm." She stretched out along me, and I had to restrain myself as I gripped onto her waist a little more tightly. "Okay. Just let me grab a shower first." She pushed herself off of me and my eyes automatically traveled over her exquisite body. She caught me, and smiled mischievously at me before turning around. I grabbed her quickly, pulling her back towards me and covering her body in kisses. She laughed loudly, a musical sound that could stop any creature in its tracks with its beauty. I laughed against her skin as she tried to wriggle out of my grasp, and I begrudgingly let her flee after a couple minutes. The sight of her running out of the room in nothing but those little silk shorts was an amazing sight.
I sighed when I heard the water turn on, and pulled on my shirt before going and sitting in her living room. There were three books out on her coffee table today, and I picked them up curiously. One was from the Library, "Wicked," and it looked like she only had a hundred pages left by the purple post-it sticking inside. My eyebrow rose curiously at the second one, a worn old book about the Wiccan calendar that didn't have any markers in it, and then a large, thick book about symbols. I opened it up to the page that had a perfectly folded receipt sticking in it, I could tell from a faint previous fold line that it had been refolded, and grinned at her slightly obsessive-compulsive habits for neatness. I wondered if she had actually been reading about alchemy symbols, or if she had just put the paper into a random page.
It was rare that something Isabella did was by random, so I put the other two books back on the table and read curiously.
It was over half an hour before she came back out, but it was very much worth the wait. She was wearing this grey and white plaid, pleated skirt and a white tank top, and her wet hair was hanging in a long thick braid over her shoulder. She automatically came and curled into my side before I wrapped an arm around her and held her there tightly. She was almost humming as she rested her head against me again. Would I ever get used to the surprise of her walking up and touching me so easily? Even after half a year, it was still baffling to me, the memories of how she always kept such a careful distance from me a year ago still so perfect in my mind.
It was another hour before it was safe for me to go outside, and it seemed like she was just as reluctant to leave as I was. But we got up, and I walked her out to my car with a gentle hand on the small of her back, opened her door for her, and kissed her again before running over to my own door at a human pace. As soon as I sat down I wanted to take her hand again, but unfortunately I needed it to shift gears.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye as we drove through town. She had her window wide open, waving her hand through the wind with a small smile on her lips. I chastised myself when her stomach growled. I had been with her all morning, I needed to remind myself that she needed to eat regularly. She didn't eat enough as it was.
"Can we stop for ice cream?" She asked with an excited smile. Her expression was just too adorable, and I grinned at her before I nodded. I bought her a big cone of strawberry ice cream in town, and she continued to smile happily as we drove slowly over to the house. I tried not to stare as she worked her tongue over the frozen food happily, and may have gripped my steering wheel a little too tightly. This was going to be the second time I've had to replace it because of what she did to my mind. I flashed to her door before she could even reach for the handle when I stopped in front of the house, opening it up for her and wrapping an arm around her as we walked up the front steps.
Esme was waiting for us at the door when we walked in and she immediately pulled Isabella into a tight hug. You have to stop hogging her all to yourself Edward, we barely get to see her more than once a week, she chided as she pulled Isabella inside. She asked her about her garden, and I watched Isabella's face light up as she told her about some new flowers she had planted and how well her vegetables were doing. I watched as Emmett attempted to sneak up on her, but she spun around quickly just before he could touch her and gave him a knowing grin. She swatted him away as he tried to mess up her hair, before running over and giving Alice a hug. Jasper came and asked her to play a game of chess and I sat down on the floor and pulled her into my lap as they played. I saw in Alice's mind that she would win right off the bat, so my mind was more focused on the feel of the happy woman in my lap. I had one arm wrapped around her waist, holding her firmly in place while I rested my chin on her shoulder, marveling in her sent and enjoying the sensation of her pulse against me.
You both look so happy, Esme said joyfully in her mind. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help a small grin. She was watching us with a big smile, and I enjoyed the picture from her perspective. Isabella looked so small wrapped in my arms, but that just make her fit that much more perfectly in my embrace. I loved how her face just seemed to glow behind her happy smile, and how it just grew bigger as her face flushed when I lightly kissed her shoulder.
I closed my eyes tightly at the memory that went through Jasper's mind as he watched Isabella's face while she debated her next move with a small smile. It was just a quick flash of an image, but a painful one. The lost, empty look in her eyes the first time he had ever seen her. She had an easy smile on her face, but walking into that room, the feeling of the pain she felt still haunted him to this day. Those memories haunted all of us, the painful consequences of perfect memory. Once she moved her knight, he was immediately distracted by his annoyance as he quickly counted the remaining three moves he had left. She smiled sweetly at him, knowing, but said nothing.
After she finished I played a game with Alice, and she was laughing when it ended after only two minutes.
As much as I wanted to hide us away and keep her to myself, it was really nice being here and having the entire family together in one place. For so long I had been alone, the odd man out. It had never really bothered me until I had met Isabella, but I hadn't known what I had been missing. Sitting here with her now as she started to drift off against me while I talked with Carlisle about some new equipment we had gotten at work, it just felt too good to be true. So different, new, but right. It was getting pretty late, so I gently woke her up, and she said goodbye to everyone before I drove her home again.
I walked her up to her front door, quickly spinning her around, lifting her up into my arms and kissing her passionately. Her arms wrapped around my neck, but she pulled her lips away gently after a moment. I opened my eyes to find her watching me nervously. As much as I didn't want to leave, I didn't want her to invite me in because she felt obliged to. I hated seeing that glint of nervousness in her eyes when she looked at me. I tried to bring myself to say goodnight, but she spoke before I could do it.
"Would you like to stay over tonight?" Her voice was quiet and very shy, and after failing to force myself to decline I felt myself smile happily in relief. She was a little timid still as I followed her into her house, but I knew that she had meant just to sleep. I was worried that she might think that because of this morning I might be... expecting something from her, and I wanted to make sure that she knew I didn't.
I just wanted to be close to her. It was the only place I felt clam anymore.
I paused in the doorway to her bedroom, looking around curiously. Though I had seem glimpses of it while walking by before I had never actually been inside of it, at least since I helped her lay down the flooring. Just like in the rest of her house, her room way very clean and organized. Meticulously so, actually. I smiled and she looked at me curiously.
"I've never been in your bedroom before," I explained, taking a step inside.
She gave me a small smile, and I watched, hypnotized as she combed her braid loose with her fingers. "Well, make yourself comfortable," she said, and walked into her large closet. I did as she said, and lay down on her bed, folding my arms comfortably behind my head. Her scent was stronger on the left side, so I settled on the right. She came back out dressed in a pair of bright yellow cotton shorts and a looser shirt similar to the tank top she had been wearing, but walked directly over to her washroom. I was still smiling when she finished and came back out, and looked at me for a moment before relaxing slightly with a smile, and turned off the light. I could see her perfectly as she expertly crossed her bedroom in the dark and climbed into her bed. She slid right over next to me, and I watched as she hesitated slightly before laying her head down on my chest. I hated seeing that flicker of apprehension in her, and restrained myself from touching and kissing her like I wanted too. Instead I settled for combing my fingers through her wavy hair, and was relieved to feel her relax against me. "Are you sure you're not going to be too bored lying here with me?" She whispered worriedly.
"I'm positive," I told her, smiling. "Would you like to go to the meadow tomorrow?" It was supposed to be such a beautiful day, and I wanted to be able to enjoy the sunlight with her.
"That sounds perfect," she said sleepily and covered a yawn. I leaned forward and gently kissed the top of her head.
"Goodnight Isabella."
"Good night." I listened to her breathing gradually slow down as she fell asleep, smiling to myself in the dark as I continued to comb my fingers through her hair. I spent my time planning our day for tomorrow. I knew she didn't have plans to see Alice, and she had already seen the others today so tomorrow would be completely mine.
Maybe two hours after she had fallen asleep, her hand slowly slid over my stomach, surprising me a little. I knew that she moved a lot in her sleep, but it always caught me off guard. Even in her sleep she had a difficult time staying still.
I worried about her getting too cold with me here, she didn't even have a blanket around her, but she never shied away from me or even got goose bumps. I watched, happily amused, as a little while later she pretty much pulled herself on top of me in her sleep, sprawling out across my chest. I hesitated for a moment before wrapping my arms around her, and her hands snaked up around my neck while she hummed happily. Smiling, I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of her heart beating against my chest.
An hour later I felt her body go rigid, and opened my eyes to see that her hands were tightened into little fists, grasping weakly onto my shirt. Her face looked stressed, her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned. I rubbed my hands gently along her back, trying to sooth her, but when it looked like I was making it worse I let go of her. I didn't know what to do, trapped underneath her and afraid to wake her up.
"No... Please…"
I stared at her in astonishment, and her head turned to the side. Maybe I should just wake her up? Knowing her she'd probably be really embarrassed though. Maybe it will pass. She turned her head to the other side and I couldn't see her face anymore. She whimpered against my shoulder, and I had to wrap my arms around her again.
"Please what Isabella?" I whispered back, not knowing what else to do.
"Don't leave," she whispered painfully, and I held onto her a little more tightly.
"I'll never leave you Isabella, I'll love you every day for the rest of eternity," I told her fiercely.
"Jacob said that too," she whispered, and I felt a drop of moisture soak into my shirt. I was frozen for a moment hearing her say his name, my heart shattering from the pain in her voice.
"I'm sorry about that Isabella, and I'm certain that he is too," I said, combing my fingers through her hair. "But I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to stay by your side forever, if you'll let me."
She didn't speak again, but she relaxed a little as I started rubbing her back once more. This only strengthened my resolve to talk to her about the move as soon as possible. I held her close, watching as her room slowly brightened with the rising of the sun. She started to stir just after seven, and her arms tightened around me slightly before she froze. I stroked a gentle hand down her spine and she relaxed again before pulling back and looking at me shyly. I smiled up at her.
"Morning," I said happily, and she beamed back at me.
"Hey," she said quietly, and she carefully slid herself off of me. She stood up and stretched her arms high into the air above her before running into the washroom. I sat up against her headboard and when she came back out she took out her yoga mat and rolled it out in the big open part of her room.
"Did you still want to go to the meadow today?" She asked, leaning forward in a lunge. I folded my hands behind my head again, trying to look casual as I watched her stretch.
"If you're still up for it. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, it would be nice to enjoy some of the sunshine." She knelt down on her knees, leaning forward and stretching her arms out in front of her.
"Mmm, that would be nice. When do you want to go?"
It took me a minute too long to answer as I watched her stand up and bend over, placing her hands flat on the floor. "Uhm, whenever. There's no rush."
She stood up and smiled at me while she stretched her arms. "Would you mind if I hopped in the shower first?"
"Not at all. I think I'm going to just run home quickly and get changed. Mind if I use your backyard?"
"Not at all," she said and I ran over and kissed her quickly before disappearing. There was no way I could watch her do that for an entire hour and contain myself. I took down a deer that crossed my path on my way home, and realizing how thirsty I was I went in search of a second. I was getting bored with the limited choices in cuisine here. My breakfast didn't taste nearly as delicious as Isabella's skin…
I got home and washed the dirt off of myself before getting changed into a pair of jeans and a white dress shirt and running back over to her house. She was still in the shower when I got there, and I picked my book up off of her coffee table and opened up to the page I had left off at. The books that were out yesterday afternoon were gone except for her novel from the Library.
It struck me once again how I was much more comfortable here with her in her house than in either of my own homes. It was very relaxing, sitting back on her large, familiar couch, reading and just enjoying the sound of her constant movement as she walked back and forth from her room to her bathroom.
I heard her eventually come out of her room and open up her fridge. I put my book back down and flashed across the room, much faster than she would have been able to see, sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen. She smiled happily at me at me as she poured a bowl of cereal and started cutting up a banana into it. She poured some milk into the bowl and put the container back into the fridge before sitting down next to me. I had strategically chosen to sit in the middle of the three chairs just for that reason. Her scent over-powered the strange smell of her food.
She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, and a very thin white blouse that was loosely buttoned over a black camisole, and her long hair was straight and loose, traveling all the way down to her lower back. I tried not to stare as she ate, instead watching the three small yellow and black birds that were hopping around on one of her bird feeders through her kitchen window. She finished eating quickly, and cleaned her bowl before drying it, putting it away and running back to her bathroom. I cringed when I heard her crash into something and swear quietly, before sighing dramatically and moving something around. She came out a minute later though with nothing but a bright smile on her face. "Ready," she said happily, and I automatically smiled back. It was just so hard not to when I looked at her.
I scanned the thoughts of her neighbors quickly while she went and opened her back door for me, and she patiently waited while I shot across her backyard in two quick strides, and watched her from the safety of the trees as she locked her back door. She stashed the key under a rock in her garden, and quickly crossed her back yard unseen to join me. For someone so clumsy, she could move very silently when she tried.
"Do you think I should put up a fence?" She asked me quietly while she walked over, knowing I'd have no problem hearing her. "I'd been thinking about it, more privacy, but I'm afraid that I won't get as many animals though. I love rabbits, they're so cute. But a nice wood fence would look pretty, and I could grow flowers up it too. What do you think?" I knelt down and she comfortably wrapped her arms and legs around me.
"I think it would look nice, and I'm sure the rabbits will find a way in somehow." She held on a little tighter as I started to run, ducking her head into my neck to avoid some of the wind.
"Have you ever eaten a rabbit?" She asked curiously.
I laughed loudly before replying. "No, they're so small and smell horrible. Not very satisfying. There aren't many options besides deer around here."
"Hmm. Well if I do put up a wooden fence, I saw this really neat thing in a craft book where someone drilled scattered little holes and stuck different coloured marbles in them. When the sun would hit them it would have like a stained glass effect, and you'd get all these little spots of colours on them." I nodded along as she talked about different types of fences, thinking that it still baffled me how she could so casually talk about things like my diet when any normal human would probably be running away screaming. I'd known for a long time though that Isabella was nowhere near normal.
She seemed to be in a really great mood today, and a very chatty one at that too. I don't think I had ever heard her just talk so comfortably before, and I loved it. I would never get enough of hearing her voice. She was sitting up on my jacket in the grass, combing her fingers through my hair as I rested my head in her lap. It was almost numbingly peaceful, closing my eyes while listening to her voice, feeling the warm sun on my skin as her electric fingers danced across my scalp. I wanted to hear about the novel series she had recently gotten into, and she told me in detail about the intricate character structure and talked about dragons, dire wolves and magic, and agreed to lend me the first volume.
She seemed to have tired herself out, and after she had gone quiet for a moment I felt her lay out in the grass. I rolled over onto my side to look at her, resting my head against her stomach. She had her arms outstretched beside her, smiling up at the sun with her eyes closed. I sat up to see her better, and watched her for a moment before deciding to speak. This was probably better to do while she was in a good mood.
I laid down beside her, staying propped up on my elbow as I leaned over her. I kissed her gently, sliding my fingers into her hair, and felt her lips curve into a small smile against mine. When I pulled away she slowly opened her eyes to meet mine.
I took a deep, steadying breath. "Isabella, there's something I need to talk to you about."
She eyed me a little warily. "Okay..." she said cautiously.
"My family and I have been here for just over three years now. We usually start finalizing our plans to move on to a new place by now."
"Oh." I backed away as she sat up. She was brushing something off of her shorts while she continued to speak. "When are you leaving?"
A sharp pain shot through my chest where my heart had once beat. She didn't say we, she asked when I was leaving. "Within the year at the latest," I said in a forced, calm voice. I couldn't even bring myself to look up at her, I was too afraid of crumbling apart.
After a long and painful moment of silence, she sighed loudly in frustration as she jumped to her feet, and my eyes shot up to her. She was glaring at me angrily, and I actually felt my body go cold. The last time I had seen her look that angrily, she almost shot me. No, she had shot at me, she had just decided to not hit me with the bullet. "What, so that's it? Why the hell would you bring me all the way into the middle of nowhere to break up with me? Do you have any idea how fucked up that is!"
"What do you mean 'break up with you'?" I asked in disbelief. She froze, her angry face turning confused. I was on my feet in a sixth of a second, and she followed my movement with her eyes in confusion.
"You… You said your family was leaving."
"Yeah, but we want your to come with us," I told her in an obvious voice, taking her face quickly in my hands. "We want you, I want you to come with us. I would never leave you Isabella, how could you think I would even try breaking up with you?"
"You want me to come?" She asked nervously. "You seriously want to take me with you?"
I kissed her fiercely, wrapping her in my arms. "Of course I do," I growled against her lips. Her hands gripped tightly onto my shirt between us, and I tightened my grip around her waist. I pulled my lips away slightly from hers, and her shimmering eyes met mine. "Please come with us Isabella. Please. I can't lose you."
She watched me for a moment, and gave me a gentle smile. "Okay." My eyes went wide, and after a moment of convincing myself that I hadn't misheard her I smiled excitedly.
"Really?" Her smile grew a little bit bigger as she nodded , and I kissed her again quickly. "Thank you," I said, pulling away from her mouth and kissing her jaw. She laughed as I pushed her back into the grass and breathed onto her ear. "Thank you Isabella." I smiled brightly as she tried to wriggle away from me, but I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and held her while I stared into her bright eyes. The glowing smile on her face filled me with joy. "You can't imagine how happy I am right now. I-" I sighed, not knowing what to say other than that I loved her. I loved her more than anything and everything in the world, but I wouldn't ruin this happy moment with something that I knew would obviously upset her.
But I knew she loved me, even though she wasn't ready to say it. I understood too, better than she probably thought I did. She was still a mystery to me in a million ways, but I still knew her. She had lost too many people she truly loved, and she was only trying to protect herself. I was okay with that, because I wasn't going anywhere. She was coming with us.
So I just kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around me and I kissed her until she was dizzy in my arms. She rested her head against my neck while she held onto me, and I held her against me as I sat us up then laid down on my back. I could feel her hot breath against my skin and her heart beating strongly just over my still one. She laid there comfortably for a long time. I knew that she hadn't fallen asleep, but was just as comfortable as I was enjoying the closeness. It was one of the many things I loved about her; we didn't have to be talking to enjoy one another's company. We just enjoyed being around each other, it was that simple.
After a little while she propped herself up on her forearms against my chest while she smiled down at me. "So where are we going? And when? I need to sell my house and give my notice into work as early as possible to give her time to hire a replacement…"
I brushed her hair behind her ear and rested my hand lightly on the side of her waist again. "Out west to Sudbury, Ontario."
"Never heard of it. Have you been there before?"
"No, but it's one of the cloudier cities, lots of forests. Climate's not too different from here." She looked thoughtful for a moment, and I brushed my fingers lightly down the side of her face. "But that is very much up for discussion Isabella, if there's anywhere you want to go or don't want to-"
"No, it doesn't really matter to me. I just… I don't want to go too far west." Her voice was strained, and I saw her body tense a little. I knew what she meant, and I rubbed my hands up and down her back soothingly. She didn't want to go back to where she had lost so much.
"No, we won't. Of course we won't."
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But-"
"You don't have to explain anything Isabella. We couldn't go back there for at least another eighty years even if we wanted to. You have nothing to worry about." She nodded, and laid her head down on my chest again. "We'll probably be leaving before the end of the year," I told her hesitantly. "We have lots of experience selling houses and moving things, and I guarantee you we won't have any problems helping you with that, but if that's too rushed for you that's-"
"It's not, that's okay. I only need a couple of weeks really. But if you can help me with selling the house that'd be great, I'd have no idea where to start. I usually have the lawyers deal with that stuff," she said quietly against my shoulder.
I laughed, thinking she was joking. "And how many houses have you sold off then?" I asked teasingly.
"Two. Charlie's and my parent's house."
I froze. Shit. "Isabella I'm sorry. I thought you were just- I didn't think. I-"
"Hey, calm down," she said easily, wrapping her arms around my neck. "It's okay Edward, I know you didn't mean anything by it. Don't worry about it."
"I'm sorry," I whispered again, holding her tightly and burying my face in her hair.
"It's okay."
I lied there hating myself for a while as she held me, until she let go and sat up. My mind was instantly cleared. She was still on top of me, straddling me, both of her hands on my stomach as I laid on my back looking up at her.
She sighed, then smiled at me as she ran her hand through her long hair, pushing it off of her face. "I'm hungry, can we head back?" She asked cheerily. I nodded once, but couldn't bring myself to move more than to slide my hands up her smooth legs on either side of me. Her smile grew, and she leaned forward, her hair cascading like water on either side of our faces as she kissed me and slowly slid her hands up my chest. My hands slid up to her waist, and I held her tightly as I moved to my feet in one fluid motion. She gasped in surprise from the quick change, but I held her up effortlessly and her arms wrapped around my neck.
I smiled against her lips before loosening my grip on her, and her legs automatically shot around me as she slipped an inch. I grinned when she pulled back to glare at me, and slowly slid my hands down her sides and on to her perfect bottom, supporting her weight in my hands again. She gave me a calculating look before kissing me quickly. She gripped onto my waist tightly with her thighs, and as she slid her arms over my shoulders she easily pulled herself up my body with her arms, tilting my head back with her leverage and sliding one of her soft hands up my throat.
A low growl rumbled through my chest, and was matched by a louder one from her stomach.
I felt the heat radiating from her face as I threw my head back, laughing loudly. I couldn't help myself though, it had just been too perfect. I apologized and kissed every inch of her face about six times before she forgave me, and then I took her home.
. . . . . . . . . .
I drove home with an almost giddy excitement that night. I had gotten to spend an entire, beautiful day with Isabella which put me in a good mood despite the fact that I wasn't spending the night with her as well.
I parked in the garage and everyone was waiting for me in the living room when I came in, Alice wearing a giant smile. I dropped down on the couch beside Esme, throwing my arm around her shoulders and grinning.
"Isabella's coming with us," I said proudly. Her eyes went huge as she stared at me in surprise before beaming at me and pulling me tightly into her arms. I winced under the strength of her hold. Carlisle rested a hand on my shoulder as he smiled at me over Esme.
She was beyond words but I heard everything in her mind, in everyone's minds. Carlisle and Esme were overjoyed and so relieved, just like everyone else. Alice was thinking about a memory from almost two years ago.
"I think she's going to stay. I can't be certain, but I think she might."
"Is that really a good idea?" Because I knew we would have to leave eventually.
"Don't be such a downer Edward. Everything will work out." She had told me surely, even though she couldn't see it.
She smiled, knowing that I had seen that. "You were right, as always," I told her indulgently. I expertly transferred Esme over to Carlisle's arms, and he laughed as he took his emotional wife. "She's being really… relaxed about the whole situation too. We'll have no problems leaving before the end of the year."
"Oh! She'll get a great offer on her house at the beginning of October," Alice said, still in her vision about a retiring couple that would fall in love with it. It was the only time she could actually see Isabella in her visions anymore, if it was through the future of another person and didn't have to do with any of her decisions.
"Maybe we should buy it. She put so much hard work into that beautiful little house," Esme said worriedly.
"No, I really think she's going to be fine letting it go," Alice said thoughtfully. "I know she really likes her house, but she's really not that attached to it emotionally. It was just one of her many crafts to kill time really."
I nodded in agreement. Yes, she was more comfortable there than anywhere else, but I think it was more just because of the quiet. She lived like a guest in her own home.
We spent the entire night making our travel plans together until Carlisle had to leave for work. Alice said Carlisle would be able to get a job easily at one of the hospitals there, and I could have too if I wanted to. But I quickly decided that I didn't want to be working full time again. I was going to look into some college courses to take, and my siblings would be starting off in high school for two years before joining me.
Alice didn't see any trouble in me pretending to be Carlisle's nephew this time, and Jasper made his lists for his order of new documents to be made. It brightened my mood even more; even though Masen was my original family name I just felt so much more comfortable being a Cullen. I hoped Isabella wouldn't mind the change. Alice asked him to wait before putting in the order though, wanting to check if Isabella wanted anything done too.
. . . . . . . . . .
It was a long day while I waited for her to get off of work. I spent most of the morning in front of the computer with Esme, doing more research on the area with her so that I could hopefully answer any questions Isabella might have for me. I stopped in at work on my way over to her place, giving in my notice as Carlisle had, and was more than happy to hand over my shift to one of my colleges that needed the hours. I was practically vibrating with excitement as I made my way from the hospital over to Isabella's house.
I walked inside, and saw her in her kitchen hovering over a cutting board. Her shoulders tensed when I walked in, and she didn't turn around to look at me as she spoke. "Hey Edward."
I immediately started to panic as I walked over to her island and sat down on one of the stools. She's changed her mind. I knew it, it was so foolish to get so excited about it. "Hey, how was your day?"
She took a little longer than usual to reply. "It was fine, how about yours?"
Her voice was calm, but I could hear the faintest bit of worry in her tone. I continued to watch her back carefully, waiting for her to turn around and tell me to leave. "It was good. I spent the day with Esme doing some research while she looked at houses online."
"Were they okay with it? Me coming along with you guys?"
My eyes went wide. She hadn't changed her mind? For some reason I started to worry even more. "They were ecstatic Isabella. Everyone had been worried that you might not come along, they're all very relieved."
I saw her relax slightly, and noticed that she was strategically walking to her fridge at an angle that blocked her face from mine. I flashed to her side in a second, but she flinched away from me before I could put a hand on her shoulder.
"Isabella, what's wrong?" I asked nervously.
"Nothing."
"It's obviously something, why aren't you looking at me?"
She sighed, putting down the knife and pepper she had been holding while looking down. "I really am okay Edward, please don't freak out." I moved to her side again, and this time she didn't run away as I stood behind her and placed my hands gently on her waist.
"Please just tell me," I said, not willing to make any promises to her that I wasn't sure I could keep. She let out a large breath, then turned in my arms. "Shit!" I said, holding her a little closer and tilting her chin up with a gentle finger. She closed her eyes as I inspected the bruise that was slowly starting to cover the entire right side of her face. "What happened?" I whispered, trying to control the urge I had to scream in anger.
"I fell off of a ladder at work this morning," she said quietly. "Someone backed into it and… It wasn't very high though, really, I'm fine."
"Did you go to the hospital?" I already knew the answer before she shook her head. "What if you have a concussion? Or broke a bone or-"
"Edward, I have done both of those things multiple times, and I'm sure that I'm fine," she said in a gentle voice. "Really. It just looks bad."
She let me inspect her anyways, and after I was sure that she really was okay, I let her get back to cooking her dinner and just watched her carefully. She fell off of a ladder, and none of us had even known. There was nothing that any of us could have done to prevent it from happening. She could have broken her neck, and then her delicate existence would have just been over.
I sat with her in her living room while she ate, and after she finished and cleaned up she came and sat beside me again, but didn't touch me. I was trying not to stare at her face, because it made me very much want to hunt down the random man that had caused her to fall and destroy him. I saw her wrap her arms around herself out of the corner of my eye.
"It's really ugly, isn't it?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and I looked at her in shock. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to stay here if you don't want to, it's okay."
"What are you talking about?" I asked her in disbelief.
"The bruise… I know it looks really ugly. You won't even look at me. I just want you to know that I won't mind if you don't want to see me for a while."
I pulled her into my lap quickly, and kissed her very softly so I wouldn't hurt her. "No Isabella, it's not ugly. You are still the most beautiful woman in the world to me, even if half of your face is purple." I said gently. I saw her eyes start to water, but she squeezed them tightly and not a single tear escaped. Very gently, like I was trying to caress a bubble of soap without popping it, I cupped the side of her face in my hand. She leaned into my cool skin, relaxing slightly. "It's just a painful thing to think about. You're just so strong that sometimes I forget just how fragile you really are. It scares me."
She opened her eyes, and watched me sadly for a long, quiet moment. She leaned in slowly, placing both of her small hands on my neck as she kissed me. My arms wrapped around her gently as her body leaned against mine. After a moment her lips pulled away from mine carefully, and she rested her cheek against mine. "I'm sorry," she whispered painfully.
"It's okay, I understand," I whispered back, and her arms went around my neck as I held her tightly. I had witnessed this feeling through the minds of others of my kind, but never personally. This was the first time in my existence I had ever wanted to cry, because I did understand. She was sorry that she was hurting me, because I know that she did love me, but she just couldn't choose to end her life, to be like me. She was suffering because I was hurting, but what I wanted her to do was impossible for her and I knew it was a horrible and selfish thing to desire. She let me hold her like that for a long time, holding me back and combing her fingers slowly through the back of my hair, never once trying to pull away.
"My boss was there when it happened," she said quietly an hour and a half later. "It took a while to convince her that I really was okay, I was only a couple of feet up. She was going to make me take some time off, and it turns out that she has a friend that recently moved to the area and is looking for work. She was going to get her to help out until I was feeling better, but I told her that I was going to be moving soon so… yeah. That's taken care of. I'm officially unemployed," she said cheerily. I loosened my tight grip on her so I could pull away to see her face. She was smiling happily, and I felt my face automatically start to mirror hers. "Since it's half past eight I'm assuming you're not working tonight?" Her smile turned gentle as she smoothed her hand down my face softly. "Would you like to go for a bike ride or something?"
She was trying to cheer me up, I realized. Her worry was plain in her eyes, and I chastised myself for putting that look there. I smiled at her and shifted her so that she was in a more comfortable position on my lap. "That's okay, it's supposed to rain soon. You're right though, I do have the night off," I said happily. She seemed to relax slightly when I smiled, but she was still watching me carefully. "A co-worker needed the extra hours so I gave him my shift."
"That was very sweet of you," she said with a knowing smile. She knew that I had ulterior motives and I grinned, unashamed. I would never hide the fact that there was nowhere else I wanted to be more than next to her.
"I also gave my notice in, so did Carlisle today. Alice says she saw them hiring replacements for us in about a month."
"Did she see anyone wanting to buy my house?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes, the best offer will come in October from a couple who's looking to retire. I won't tell you how much, I'll let you keep that as a surprise," I said teasingly. She didn't seem to mind though, she just looked relieved. "That can't honestly surprise you?" I asked disbelievingly. "Your house is amazing, it looks like it should be in a magazine. You should consider landscaping or interior design as a career."
She beamed happily at me, and I couldn't resist leaning in to kiss that beautiful face. "Thank you," she said proudly. "I think doing it as a job would take all the fun out of it though." I grinned, there was something in her voice that told me that she didn't completely believe her own words. She cuddled into me a bit more and rested her bruised cheek on my shoulder. I knew what she would say if I asked her if it was bothering her, and guessed that this was probably the closest thing to putting ice on it I would be able to get her to do, so I didn't say anything and just held her there. "Are there any schools in the town that we're going to?"
"There are a few, actually. Have you been thinking about going back at all?"
"A little bit," she hedged, but tried to change the subject quickly. "Are you and Carlisle going to have any trouble finding work?"
"Nope, Alice told us that he'd get a job pretty quickly. I've been looking into courses at Laurentian University though. I think I'm going to take a break from work for a while." She was silent for a moment, and I wished that I could see her face.
"What about the others?"
"The four of them will be doing high school again," I said, not envying them in the slightest. "Esme will probably be rebuilding whatever house she gets us."
She sat up straight in in my lap. "I need to buy a new house! Damn it, I was too busy thinking about selling this one to realize," she said with an embarrassed smile.
"You know you could always stay with us. We always have more room than we really need." I was only half planning on living with the others. I knew that I didn't want my own house again, but I planned on spending the majority of my time where ever she was.
"Thanks, but… I think that would just be too hard, living in a house with seven other people." I had been expecting that, but I also knew that she was comfortable around me though. I wanted to get a house for her, for us, but I was too afraid to scare her off by asking her to move in with me. We had really only been "dating" for eight months… was that too soon? I didn't know, but I had plenty of time to convince her. I wouldn't rush it.
"That's okay. Esme's planning a house hunting trip next week, if you want we could go with her." I said it as casually as I could. There was no way I could go an entire week without seeing her.
"That would be fun," she said happily. "Are you sure you won't have any problems getting the time off work?"
I sighed in relief before smiling. "I'm sure. She's leaving on Saturday and coming back next Thursday. I'll call her so she can get us both tickets," I said, holding her while I shifted to pull my phone out of my pocket.
"Tickets?" Her voice caught slightly, coming out as more of a squeak.
"Yeah, plane tickets," I said, scrolling through my contacts. I felt her body go ridged in my arms. "Isabella?" I carefully pulled her back so that I could see her face. She was wearing her cool mask, but she couldn't hide how much her face had paled… the half that wasn't blue and purple, anyways. I gently tilted up her chin so that she would look me in the eyes. "Isabella, what's wrong?"
She took a deep breath and looked off to the side as she spoke. "I've never been on a plane before," she whispered.
"Oh," I said, and gave her a gentle smile. "It's really not a big deal, I've been on them tons of time. Its-"
"Okay, let me rephrase this. I've never been on a plane before because the idea of being in a two-hundred thousand pound piece of flying metal filled with other people traveling over five-hundred miles an hour thirty-five thousands feet in the air scares the hell out of me," she said quickly in a panicked voice, begging me with her eyes not to try and make her do it. Even her heart rate had shot up.
I kissed her softly, and felt her relax against my lips. I took her words very seriously, I don't think I had ever heard her say that she was actually scared of something before. "How about we leave Thursday and drive down? We can meet Esme when she gets there."
She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "Thank you," she said quietly.
"Hey, I would much rather spend two days in a car with you alone than seven hours with you in a crowded plane," I told her honestly, making her laugh. "Just for our cover's sake though, I should probably tell you now that I'm going to be Carlisle's nephew in this next place, not Esme's brother."
"So, Edward Cullen?"
"Yeah. Is that weird?"
"No," she said pulling back so that she could smile at me. "I like it." She gave me a quick kiss, then got up and ran over to her bathroom. I relaxed back against her couch, and when she came back she sat beside me, throwing her legs over my lap and tucking herself under my arm. "So, do I need a cover story too or anything?"
"Not unless you want one," I told her with a smile. She seemed a little relieved, relaxing with her face resting against my cool arm.
She started to drift off against me at around eleven later that night.
"Mmm, sorry," she said, yawning and sitting up as she rubbed at her eyes after I shifted her slightly.
"No, it's okay. I should go and let you get some rest," I said, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. Before I could stand up though she wrapped her arms around my neck, looking up at me curiously.
"Do you want to?"
"What?"
"You said that you should go, but do you want to?" She continued to watch my face carefully, and I found it hard to think while her intense eyes inspected me so closely.
"No," I told her honestly.
She leaned forward and kissed me, a soft smile playing with the corners of her lips. "You can stay if you want."
"Are you sure?"
"It's not like I have work in the morning," she said lightly with a smile, but then her face turned a little more serious. "Besides… I like having you here. I still don't know how you're not bored, but if you want to you're welcome to stay."
"I want to stay," I told her immediately, and she smiled. After disentangling herself from me she got up and went into her room to get changed. I turned off her television and then the lights and went to lie down in her bed, trying not smile too brightly. She came back out of her bathroom wearing a pair of baggy pyjama pants and a tank top, sliding underneath her blanket. She looked over at me a little shyly, and I lifted my arm for her to come closer. I heard her sigh as she placed her bruised face against my chest and wrapped an arm around me.
. . . . . . . . . .
Her face was worse the next day, and she was close to tears when she came out from her shower. She let me hide in her house with her for the entire day though, and I did my best to keep her smiling and away from mirrors. It was a lovely day for me, relaxing on her couch with her curled up in my arms, watching movies all day. I hated leaving her alone to go to work, but she insisted that she didn't want any of the others to see her right now.
I went to work and then straight back to her house once I was done. She was out in her garage, legs sticking out from under her truck. She slid out on her dolly when I walked in, smiling at me with a big streak of grease across her forehead. She was wearing a small pair of denim shorts that were splattered with old paint and oil, and an old black t-shirt with a brown design of a guitar down the front. Looking down at her holding that wrench, hair messily piled up on top of her head... it was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, and wondered if it would be weird if I asked her to change the oil on my car for me... "Hey," she said happily.
I leaned down and kissed her a little firmly, my right hand resting on the curve of her hip. "Hey babe," I whispered against her lips. I felt her freeze underneath me, almost flinching, and pulled away as she slid back under her truck.
"Please don't call me that," she said in a soft voice, and I heard her moving her wrench again. I hadn't really meant to, it just sort of slipped out, but I was curious about her reaction.
"Not a big fan of pet names?" I asked, keeping my tone light.
"I just don't like it," she said quietly. I slid her back out from the truck and she sighed. She was trying hard not to meet my gaze.
"Is this because of him?" I asked gently.
"Does it matter?"
"I'm sorry, it's just… you never talk about him."
She got up, and I watched her as she went and set her wrench down on her bench, wiping her hands off on a cloth. She didn't look mad, more like resigned. "I didn't think it was something you'd want to hear about, and I don't want to upset you," she explained quietly, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms, almost protectively in front of her as she looked at me.
"I want to know all of you Isabella," I told her, appearing in front of her again and resting my hands on her hips. I was relieved when she didn't pull away from me. "And he's a big part of you." She watched me intently, and sadly. It had only been a couple of years since he had died, and I knew that it was still very painful for her to think about. Despite how long she had been in my life though, and how well I had gotten to know her, I felt like there was this whole life, this giant part of her that was still a giant mystery to me. She looked down at her shoes.
"What do you want to know?"
I watched her for a moment, then picked her up and set her on her high work bench. I titled up her chin up so that she would look at me. "Are you sure? I don't want to make you upset." Yes I wanted to know, but I wanted her to be happy more than that.
"It's okay," she said. She tried to smile, but couldn't really do it.
"How did you meet him?" She did smile then, even though it was a sad one.
"Our Dads were best friends. I met him when I went over to Billy's place with Charlie to watch a football game, two weeks after I moved to Forks."
"And you two just... hit it off right away?" I wasn't sure how to properly word the question I wanted to know; why did she fall in love with him? She laughed.
"No, not at all." She smiled, and I could tell that she had gone somewhere else in her mind. I refused to let myself get upset over of any of this. She was with me now, and she was only telling me because I'd asked.
"Then how?"
She thought about her answer for a long moment while she looked at me uncomfortably. "Well, for me to really explain… first, you have to know that when I went to Forks I was a very different person than who I am now. When I was sent to live with Charlie I was absolutely dreading it. He was my third foster home, and I hadn't had very high expectations for it. I was just trying to survive until my eighteenth birthday so I could go off on my own." I had known about the other two homes, but had no idea what had happened. I did know what happened with her father though, and I still wasn't going to tell her that I did a background check on her.
"What happened with your first two?"
Now she really looked uncomfortable. I was really surprised that I had made it this far though, she never talked about her past before coming here other than her mother, and the tiniest little rare detail every once in a while. "Do you think we could go inside? I'd really like to get cleaned up." She wiped a slightly shaky arm across her face, smearing the oil that had been on her forehead across more of her face. I gave her a small smile.
"Sure." I lifted her off the table and set her on the ground, following her through the rain to her house. I went and waited patiently on the couch, flipping the television on, keeping the volume low while I waited. She ended up taking a shower, and came and sat with me a half an hour later wearing my favourite pair of lavender silk shorts and an over-sized black t-shirt. Her hair was wet and hanging loosely over her shoulders. She looked much more relaxed, and I automatically slid closer to her when she sat down on the couch.
"Thanks," she said, relaxing against me. I ducked down and kissed her, and after a few seconds her hands slid over my shoulders as she leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her into my lap, and felt her relax completely in my arms. I pulled away gently so that she would remember to breathe, and rested my forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. We just sat there quietly for a couple minutes.
"You wanted to know about my other foster parents?" I nodded. "Well, I was in the hospital for two months after I fell down the stairs, and when I was released I was sent to live in this sort of boarding house, an orphanage for older girls. I was there for two months before I went to my first home. That was with Rita and Carl. They were okay, but Rita found out that she was pregnant and they sent me back after about two months. Then I was at the home for three more months before they sent me to live with George and Tara." She paused for a moment, and I saw her take a shaky breath before concentrating on one of the red pillows on her couch with an angry expression. "They weren't very nice people. I was grateful that they had opened their home to me, but they were always very cold to me right from the start. It was a roof over my head though, and they didn't hit me, so I didn't complain. They had two young daughters that I shared a room with, but they had gotten me hoping for a live-in housekeeper pretty much. I wasn't allowed to go out until I got a job, and definitely couldn't bring a friend over, not that I really had any. I cleaned and cooked for them and baby-sat their kids. And…" She sighed, relaxing slightly. "Eventually we had a fight, and I had to leave." There was something there, something that she was hiding. She obviously didn't want to talk about it though, and continued speaking again quickly. "So I went back to the home for a couple months, and really I would have just rather spent my time there sharing that room with six or seven other girls. But they sent me to stay with Charlie. He was so completely different than any man I'd ever met. He was always nothing but friendly to me, gave me my own room, my own key to his house, he even bought me my truck to try and make me happy. And I was, he was more of a father to me than my real one ever was. He just got me really well, we were really alike in a lot of ways, not really into the whole talking about your feelings thing or really touchy. I hated being touched. He was really patient with me though. He even installed a lock on my door so that no one would be able to come in at night. It was a really big deal for me, my relationship with Charlie was the closest bond I had had with someone since my mother. I just wasn't into the whole social scene, you know? Books can stay a constant, they don't change, they can be hidden, moved, trusted... People can't. Charlie was easy to love though.
"And then he introduced me to Jacob. The first time I'd met him I thought he was just… weird. When I tried to introduce myself, he dropped this giant plate of sandwiches he had been carrying and just stared at me like an idiot. He was always starting at me, and I didn't find out for another four months that he had imprinted on me." She was smiling at the memory again, but barely paused as she went on. "So, I wasn't very fond of him at first, but he was persistent, and our parents were best friends so we saw each other pretty often. He was impossible not to like, just like Charlie. Jacob helped me heal and move on from my past. He was my best friend, and he made me a stronger person. I fell for him, and he just made my life feel like it finally had meaning. With him and Charlie, I had finally found a family." I had been looking down while she had been talking, lost in her words, and only looked up when I heard that her voice had begun to shake. Tears were streaming out of her eyes. "Jacob had been more than someone I loved. When I had found him, it was like I had found the other half of my soul, because I hadn't been whole until then. It didn't matter how different we were from each other, because no matter what we were always happier when we were together." She closed her eyes tightly, and tried to stand up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-"
I pulled her back to me, kissing her quickly. The tears continued to stream down her face, but she held onto me fiercely as she kissed me back. "I'm sorry Isabella, I'm sorry about everything. Thank you for sharing this with me," I told her, and kissed her again. When I finally released her lips, she rested her head against my shoulder and just let me hold her until she stopped crying.
This was more than she had ever told anyone in our family about her past. As I held her quietly, the rest of her story played out through in my mind. The picture on the shelf beside her television; She was smiling brightly in the arms of Jacob Black, surrounded by the wolf shifters of the Quileute tribe and their imprints. It had taken me years to see a smile even close to the one she wore there, and it was obvious that the giant man holding her was beyond proud, happy. I have never seen her look that carefree and happy besides in her sleep. She had been accepted into the tribe and had finally found a home and family. He had asked her to marry him, she had gotten pregnant, and then she had been found by the Volturi. They tried to take her, killed the first real father she had ever had in front of her eyes, and then Jacob too was killed.
I knew that she thought that she was cursed, and she fled out of sadness and fear of hurting the rest of them. Then there was the accident, the loss of her child and I had met her once again. And I had thought I had been cursed as well, but it turned out I had only been futilely running away from the reason for my existence. I couldn't imagine how hard this must have been for her to tell me, and held her a little more tightly. I was moved that she had finally felt comfortable enough with me to tell me. It meant so much to me, and I felt like I knew her, understood her a little bit more. Eventually her head shifted against me, and I turned up the volume on the television a little bit so she could hear it better before pulling the throw off of the back of the couch and draping it over her. She had goose bumps on her arms, yet looked very comfortable.
She called and ordered a pizza for dinner later, and I sat with her until I had to leave for work. "So I'll come pick you up at nine tomorrow morning," I said, kissing her again.
"I'll be packed and waiting," she said cheerfully, leaning against her door frame. I walked over to my car, and gave her one last look before being able to make myself pull out of her driveway.
Only twelve hours, and then I'll have her for an entire week, I told myself with a smile.
Thanks for Reading!