[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer but lovely Lilly is all mine

**Chapter 21**

This is such a torture, I thought while I dipped my spoon into the chocolate ice-cream to stir it around in the bowl in front of me somehow desperately hoping it would just disappear. It wasn't like I didn't want to eat it; it was my favorite after all. I could eat the entire package followed by a few Pop tarts before getting rid of it in the bathroom down the hall. Lilly, stop thinking about that, right now…

I forced myself to lick off a bit of the already half melted ice-cream from the silver spoon between my trembling fingers.

"Lilly?"

"Yes, Zoe?"

"Don't you like your ice-cream?"

I cringed and slurped the rest of the ice cream down my throat, not even taking the time to taste the sweetness of the ice-cream on my tongue.

"See, now it's all gone."

And it's going to stay down there, end of story.

"Are you angry at me?"

"No, of course I'm not. What makes you think that?"

"You look angry…kind of."

"I'm not." Maybe I'm a bit angry at myself, I wondered while I closed my hand around the medallion around my neck.

"Maybe Lilly is angry because she has to babysit us tonight." Cara assumed, wiping a rest of the chocolate ice-cream from her little chin.

"She's only babysitting you. I'm her sister and we always hang out."

Hang out, with a ten year old? Did I miss something?

"Do you want to watch a movie now?" I asked them, knowing that parking them in front of the flat screen in the living room would be the easiest way to occupy them enough so that I could finish my biology homework that was due tomorrow.

"Arielle!"

"That's a stupid movie for babies. It's my house and I decide that we're watching. I want to see Mulan."

"Zoe, stop being so rude to Cara all the time or I'll tell mom not to let the two of you play together anymore. Now, just pick a movie together or I chose one and I'm sure that neither one of you will like that."

"You are so mean! As my sister you should be on my side."

"Zoe, please. I don't have the nerves to deal with stuff like that now."

I kneeled down on the ground and started caressing Fido's huge head with my fingertips. A low purring noise escaped his throat before he finally stood up from the ground, nuzzling his snout against my palm.

"I take Fido outside while the two of you decide what you want to watch." I told them, grabbing the dog around the metal collar around his neck.

When we were outside I let go of it and leaned back against the wood of the Veranda, watching him how he nibbled on a few daisies before he finally disappeared around the right side of the house. A few moments later he returned and rested his head against my lap.

"You are tired, aren't you?" I whispered, caressing the fluffy fur with my left hand while I pulled my cell out of my handbag.

"I love you, you fur monster." I mumbled running my fingertips down his ears.

"Fur monster? That's kind of a weird nickname."

"Oh, sorry, Jane, I forget I already dialed. I was just talking to Fido."

"I thought so. Sometimes I wonder if you love that dog more than me."

"You better don't make me choose." I told her, searching for some biscuit crumbles in my pockets. When I found some and held out my flat palm for him to lick it off. To my immense surprise he didn't do it. For a split second he lifted his head from my lap, just to let it sink a heartbeat later. When had he started to be so overly affectionate?

"Lilly, are you still there?"

"What? Yes, of course, I am. Look, I just called you to tell you that I miss you."

And to have a distraction not to go to the bathroom right now although I feel very much like it, I added silently in my head.

"I miss you too, gioia."

"What are you doing right now?" I asked her, twisted a wisp of my long hair around my fingers. Should I consider cutting it off again?

"I'm sorting files for Zafrina but somehow they all seem so familiar to me. She must have given me the wrong box. Somehow she seemed a bit distracted today. Your aunt was here…the pretty blonde one and she seemed pissed for some reason."

"Hmm,"

"Do you want me to come to your house later? I could cook for you."

Why is she so desperate to feed me? She fucking knows that eating and everything that has to do with it isn't my very favorite topic right now.

"I'm babysitting the two little monsters while my mothers are helping Cara's parents to pack for their flight to Romania."

"Even more reason for me to come over and help you. I'm sure that your sister is already a little pain in the neck right now, isn't she?"

"Maybe a bit, but it's definitely not her fault. I'm just so terribly tensed all the time."

XXXX

Jane was good with kids. Way better than I ever could be and that surprised me. Maybe it was the fact that she was so much stricter than me but somehow Cara and my little sister both hang on every word that came out of my girlfriend's mouth.

"Cara, can you cut these tomatoes into tiny cubes?"

"With a knife?"

"That would be the easiest way to do it, I guess."

"But my father says, I'm not allowed to play with knives."

"And he's right about that. But cooking is not playing. You want to learn how to cook properly, don't you?"

She nodded her head and put her glasses back on taking the knife from Jane as if it was some sort of lethal weapon.

"Do you want me to do that for you?" Zoe asked Cara, placing her hand on Cara's.

"No, thanks, I can do it. How small do the cubes have to be?"

"Like that." Jane told her, showing her a little space between her thumb and her forefinger.

I hugged her tightly from behind and twisted her blonde hair into a knot at the back of her head, fixing it with a pen before I leaned forward to plant a soft kiss right underneath her hairline.

"Thanks," I whispered into her ear.

"For what?" she asked me back before she turned her attention back to the sauce in the pan on the stove. It smelled good but that didn't surprise me. Jane had basically spent her entire childhood inside a kitchen and somehow I wondered how she managed it to stay so thin despite of it. If my father owned a restaurant…,

Damn it, why can't I ever stop thinking about that sort of unpleasant things?

"Do you want to try if I put enough salt in it?" she asked me, blowing a bit over the spoon so that I wouldn't burn my tongue on the hot sauce.

"It's fine. If things don't work out with law school you could always take over the Restaurant."

"How wonderful that you have so much faith in my intelligence; knowing how to make some Lasagna won't help me to run a company as big as Volturi Inc."

"Probably,"

I kissed her cheek and started circling my fingertips up and down her bare forearms, feeling her skin break out in goose bumps under my caress. Should I ask her if she wanted to stay overnight? No, I couldn't do that. It would mean I would have to ask my mother's about that and I really didn't want to have that kind of discussion with mom again.

"Are the two of you in love with each other?" Cara asked me, raising her head from the tomatoes to push her glasses up her nose again.

"Kind of," I mumbled, pulling back from the hug to grab some plates from the cabinet to place them on the kitchen counter.

"So, you are in love with me…kind of. How interesting to know, Miss Cullen." she teased me, putting a wisp of my hair behind my ear to graze its shell with her teeth.

"How's that like to be in love?" Zoe muttered, pouring herself a glass of milk to gulp it down.

"Weird somehow," Cara whispered, putting the rest of the tomatoes into the bowl in front of her.

"What do you know about that? You are still a baby."

"I've been in love before."

"With whom?"

"I won't tell you because you are going to laugh." Cara stated, standing up from the kitchen chair.

The doorbell rang and when I opened the door my sobbing aunt wrapped her arms around me so tightly that it knocked the breath out of me for a moment.

"Aunt Rosie, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"Can…can you…take the boys for a while. I need to…I need to…," she croaked, wiping her running nose on a tissue she fumbled out of her handbag.

"What is wrong, you are worrying me."

"Mom has been like that since we left the house. She and Dad yelled at each other." Nessie told me, when we entered the hall. I realized that Tegan was completely silent and that was definitely a new for him.

"Can we play with the dog?" his brother asked me, grabbing one of Zoe's baseballs from the ground.

"Not inside the house. The three of you can go outside to play a bit but promise me to stay off the road, will you?"

Both of them nodded their heads and rushed out of the front door, pulling the dog after them who didn't really look pleased about that. For a moment his eyes met mine and I wondered if I should tell the twins to leave him alone. He was old. He was tired most of the time and not at all interested in catching balls from my two hyperactive cousins.

"I feel so bad for the poor boys." Rosalie stated, sitting down on the couch to bury her face in her hands.

Jane appeared in the doorframe but I signed her to stay in the kitchen with the girls. There was no need to bring attention to my poor aunt's break down.

"What is wrong?"

"Your uncle is such a stupid…such a stupid idiot. He never thinks twice about his actions."

"Did he cheat on you or something like that?"

"Worse,"

"Aunt Rosie, do you want me to call Momma for you? You really look bad."

"Not necessary. My sister wouldn't understand my point in this. She and your mother have practically done the same to get your sister."

"What did they do to get me?" Zoe asked her curiously, sitting down next to our blonde aunt.

"You need to ask that our mothers…or maybe Benjamin. They'll tell you about everything."

"Fine, then I'll call Dad after dinner."

Someone honked in front of house, followed by the shattering of metal and glass. We were outside the house within a minute but before I could kneel down on the blood covered asphalt Jane wrapped her arms around my middle and tried to pull me off the street again.

"Come with me. I don't want you to see this."

"Let me go, I need to see if he's okay."

"No,"

"LET ME GO. RIGHT NOW!" I snarled at her so harshly that she instantly dropped her arms.

I tried to breathe through my mouth, trying to avoid smelling the blood. God, there was so much of it. He whimpered and I placed his head on my lap, wiping some of the crimson colored liquid from his snout.

Somewhere in the background I heard voices shouting and yelling. Someone called an ambulance but when my calf-sized dog started coughing black blood, I already knew that they would never make it here in time.

So, I just remained where I was and continued stroking his fur, while he coughed and whimpered in my arms.

"I love you so much, baby." I whispered, pressing my lips against his head. "You can't leave me. I can't endure all of this without you. Please, stay with me. I need you. I need you so much."

Jane placed her hand on my shoulder again, her touch as light as a feather.

"The vet is here. He needs to take a look at him."

"No,"

"Sweetie, you have to let him go. The vet will look at his injuries and see what he can do for the poor dog."

"No," I sobbed, pulling the whimpering dog closer to my chest. The blood was soaking through the fabric of my shirt and I felt how my entire body starting to tremble slightly. I gasped of air but none of it reached my lungs. Someone yelled hysterically. Was that me? Then, eventually everything around me turned black.