The Secret to Love Chapter 21: Epilogue and Extras, a gundam seed fanfic

Chapter 21: Epilogue and Extras

Disclaimer: Unless I say it, I don't own it.

Epilogue- One Week Later

"Well, it's been a long journey, but I wouldn't change a thing about it." Dearka said as he shook Athrun's hand.

"Are you sure about that?" the Chairman asked.

"Well, maybe a few things…" the blonde replied and they chuckled.

"Take care Dearka, and come visit sometime, okay?" Athrun asked.

"Of course!" Dearka replied. "See ya!" he called and waved as he walked towards his shuttle.

Yzak and Shiho were waiting for him, and they both saluted Athrun who rolled his eyes and smiled while waving at them. They smiled back and waved, Yzak giving him a knowing nod of high honor, a nod of agreement and respect; of fellow comrades in battle.

"So Chairman Zala, are you really going to stay here in PLANTs?" Shinn asked, giving him a sly smirk for old-time's sake.

"Yeah, I really need to patch things up. Yuri created chaos, most of the people fled to Earth, mostly to ORB, so I need to get them back and settled, and I need to reorganize the entire military, discharging and monitoring all those who sided with Yuri voluntarily and making sure those whose families were threatened are safe. Plus, all the injured need to be taken care of. There just needs to be order, and I can't do that from ORB. Cagalli has a lot on her hands as well; we understand each other's predicament." Athrun explained, although unable to hide the forlorn look in his eyes.

"Are you sure you don't wanna take that vacation with us though? You haven't gotten to rest much since day one of this thing!" Shinn exclaimed, noticing the expression.

"Stop badgering him, he has a lot of work to do, once he's done he'll take an extremely long and luxurious vacation with Cagalli, possibly a second honeymoon." Kira said and chuckled.

Athrun hit him playfully on the arm with a stack of papers. "Speaking of a vacation, don't you have a plane to catch?" he asked while smiling.

"Yes, actually, we do. Alright Shinn, let's leave Chairman Zala alone so he can get to work. We can bother him later when we reach the island." Kira told Shinn.

"You mean I get to prank call him!?" Shinn asked excitedly and they laughed again.

"Alright, see you guys later, thanks a lot for all your help. You guys have done so much for me…for the world…how can I ever repay you?" he asked seriously.

Kira and Shinn smiled at each other and then at Athrun, holding hands.

"No need, that's what friends are for, besides, you helped me rescue Shinn and on countless other occasions saved my life, if anything we're even. Just don't work too hard and take that vacation. If you need any help organizing Zaft or relocating PLANTs residents let me know, or at least let Cagalli know." Kira said.

"Yeah, thanks for everything you've done, you definitely deserve to be Chairman after all of this. You helped stop both wars, you personally went to rescue me, you personally got Yuri Amarfi and Zaft to surrender after all hope of it was lost…you've really done a lot for your people. I…I'm glad I served with you, sir." Shinn said and saluted him as his eyes fogged up, threatening to overflow with tears.

Athrun's shocked expression turned to respectful as he saluted back. Kira smiled and saluted him as well, all three close to tears as they remembered everything they've been through together.

"Well, you should catch your plane before it leaves without you." He said reverently, a smile on his face. They hugged and said their goodbyes and waved to each other as the two men made their way to their car.

Kira and Athrun shared a knowing look, staring into each other's eyes and making a silent promise: I will always be there for you.

Their relationship went well beyond just friendship, and yet it wasn't intimate like Cagalli and Athrun's relationship or Shinn and Kira's. It was a bond deeper and thicker than blood, that couldn't be overcome by anything, including a conflicting war. It was tried and tested, and only gets stronger. They knew at that moment that there was nothing they wouldn't do for each other.

Kira got in the car and Athrun watched them drive away.

He was still saluting.

"So are you ready for this trip?" Kira asked Shinn when they were on the road.

"Definitely, after everything that's happened I need a nice long rest." He said and flashed him a wicked grin.

Kira smiled. "I agree. It's all over now. We've won."

Shinn smiled and turned up the radio.

In this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi. 'Cause I've drawn regret, from the truth of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come and wash away what I've done!

I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become. Erase myself, and let go of what I've done!

Put to rest what you thought of me, while I clean this slate with the hands of uncertainty.

So let mercy come and wash away what I've done!

I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become. Erase myself, and let go of what I've done!

For what I've done, I'll start again. And whatever pain may come, today this ends; I'm forgiving what I've done!

I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become. Erase myself, and let go of what I've done!

What I've done, forgiving what I've done. (1)

"Forever" Papa Roach

In the brightest hour, of my darkest day, I realized what is wrong with me. Can't get over you, can't get through to you, it's been a helter-skelter romance from the start. Take these memories that are haunting me of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors, he'll never forgive her, he'll never forgive her.

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever! Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever!

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night, hanging over from another good time, with another girl, little dirty girl. You should listen to this story of a life. You're my heroine- in this moment I'm lonely, fulfilling my darkest dreams. All these drugs all these women, I'm never forgiven, this broken heart of mine.

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever! Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever!

One last kiss, before I go. Dry your tears; it is time to let you go!

One last kiss (one last kiss), before I go (before I go). Dry your tears (dry your tears); it is time to let you go!

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever! Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever!

One last kiss (one last kiss), before I go (before I go). Dry your tears (dry your tears); it is time to let you go.

One last kiss, before I go. Dry your tears; it is time to let you go.

One last kiss.

"The Kill" 30 Seconds to Mars

What if I wanted to break, laugh it all off in your face? What would you do? (Oh, oh) What if I fell to the floor, couldn't take all this anymore? What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down! Bury me, bury me! I am finished with you!

What if I wanted to fight, beg for the rest of my life? What would you do? You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you (from you).

Come break me down! Bury me, bury me! I am finished with you! Look in my eyes; you're killing me, killing me! All I wanted was you!

I tried to be someone else, but nothing seems to change I know now, this is who I really am inside. I finally found myself! Fighting for a chance! I know now, this is who I really am!

Ah, ah, oh, oh, ah, ah!

Come break me down! Bury me, bury me! I am finished with you, you, you! Look in my eyes; you're killing me, killing me. All I wanted was you!

Come break me down (bury me, bury me), break me down (burry me, bury me), break me down (bury me, bury me)!

(You say you wanted more) What if I wanted to break? (What are you waiting for?) Bury me, bury me. (I'm not running from you) What if I, what if I, what if I, what if I? (Bury me, bury me)

"Pain" Three Days Grace

Pain, without love, pain, can't get enough, pain, I like it rough, 'cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

You're sick of feeling numb. You're not the only one. I'll take you by the hand and I'll show you a world that you can understand. This life is filled with hurt, when happiness doesn't work. Trust me, and take my hand, when the lights go out you'll understand.

Anger and agony are better than misery. Trust me, I've got a plan, when the lights go off you'll understand.

I know (I know, I know, I know, I know) that you're wounded. You know (You know, you know, you know, you know) that I'm here to save you. You know (You know, you know, you know, you know) I'm always here for you. I know (I know, I know, I know, I know) that you'll thank me later.

Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough. 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

Rather feel pain than nothing at all!

Rather feel pain!

"Disarm" Smashing Pumpkins

Disarm you with a smile and cut you like you want me to. Cut that little child. Inside of me and such a part of you. Ooh, the years burn.

I used to be a little boy so old in my shoes. And what I choose is my choice, what's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you, my love; I send this smile over to you!

Disarm you with a smile and leave you like they left me here to whither in denial. The bitterness of one who's left alone! Ooh, the years burn. Ooh the years burn, burn, burn!

I used to be a little boy so old in my shoes. And what I choose is my voice, what's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you, my love; I send this smile over to you!

The killer in me is the killer in you. Send this smile over to you. The killer in me is the killer in you. Send this smile over to you. The killer in me is the killer in you. Send this smile over to you.

"One X" Three Days Grace

Do you think about everything you've been through? You never thought you'd be so depressed. Are you wondering is it life or death? Do you think that there's no one like you?

We are, we are, we are, we are the ones! We get knocked down! We get back up and stand above the crowd, we are the ones. We are the ones! We get knocked down! We get back up and stand above the crowd, we are one.

The life I think about is so much better than this. I never thought I'd be stuck in this mess. I'm sick of wondering is it life or death. I need to figure out who's behind me.

We stand above the crowd. We stand above the crowd. We stand above the crowd (crowd). (We stand) above the crowd. We stand above the crowd (we stand). We stand above the crowd.

(We are the ones) We stand above the crowd. (We get knocked down, get back up) We stand above the crowd. (We are the ones) We stand above the crowd. (We get knocked down, get back up) We stand above the crowd.

We stand above the crowd. We stand above the crowd. We stand above the crowd.

Alternate/Additional Scenes:

Chapter 8/9: Dignity Is A Thing Of The Past!

-Note: This is after the long brainwashing episode they put Shinn through after Rowan showed him the Destiny Gundam; between chapters 8 and 9. An alternate scene.-

Shinn woke up and saw an arm around him. A fleeting sense of hope clutched him as he excitedly turned to see…

…Gilbert, and not his Kira. His hope died yet again before he started to freak out, looking down to see that he still had his pants on, thankfully.

He breathed a sigh of relief and then looked cautiously at the sleeping form next to him. He quietly got out of the bed and put on his shirt. His heart started to pound as he headed towards the door; he was just about to open it when he heard a voice from behind him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

He sighed again and dropped his arm, turning to look sadly into Gilbert's eyes. 'Run, you can make it, he's still in the bed!' his mind told him. He reached for the door again.

"Shinn." Gilbert warned him and quickly got out of the bed. He grabbed Shinn's arm and the boy made a whining noise while pouting, eyes welling up. Gilbert's eyes softened at this.

"Don't give me that look Shinn, I can't just let you escape." He said.

"Please? I-I miss Kira!" Shinn cried. "Please take me to see Kira, I want Kira!" he cried again and leaned against Gil's chest. The older man was slightly stunned and patted him on the back.

"I'm sorry Shinn." He said softly. Shinn sniffed and looked up at him with his crimson eyes. Gil slowly lifted his hand and stroked Shinn's cheek, who didn't resist while continuing to stare up at him.

Durandal smiled and Shinn closed his eyes, turning his face towards his hand that was still rubbing his cheek. Gil knew what he was doing. Shinn wanted him to feel sorry for him and take him back to Kira after he gave him what he wanted. He thought about taking advantage of the boy in this way, but couldn't bear the thought of hurting him again.

"You can stop pretending Shinn." He told him quietly as the boy started kissing his hand.

Shinn stopped and looked at him again. He sighed and stepped back.

"What do you want me to do, Gil? What will make you help me? I don't care anymore; I just wanna get out of this!" Shinn exclaimed, his pleading eyes staring into Gilbert's.

Durandal sighed and looked sadly at Shinn, and then he leaned down and kissed him. Shinn wrapped his arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Gil led him back to the bed and laid him down, staring into Shinn's eyes.

"I can't do this to you again." He said suddenly.

"You did before! What, now that I'm willing you suddenly get a conscience!?" Shinn asked and glared at him.

"There are no guarantees…" Gil told him.

Shinn opened his mouth to say more but then closed it with a snap. He knew that what he was doing was wrong.

"I'm sorry Shinn, but I can't take advantage of you like this. It's not the same…not what I want." Gil murmured.

"Then what do you want!?" Shinn yelled and sat up, making Gil sit up as well.

"I want you! I want you to love me as you love Kira! I want you to come to me not out of shame but for comfort and pleasure!" Gil burst.

Shinn's mouth dropped open as he stared at the man with wide eyes. He didn't understand what he was hearing. He always thought that Gil just wanted him for sex, not for love.

He blinked and shook his head, still stunned as Gil tried to calm himself.

"But…I…I can't…I don't…" Shinn struggled for words, not knowing what exactly to say. In all actuality he despised Gilbert Durandal for using and abusing him and for trying to kill his husband. He was disgusted just by being too close to him, even though he was willing to let him violate him again, as long as he could go back to Kira.

Knowing that Gilbert actually loved him, and wanted him to love him back…it made no sense after what he did the year before…but then again…

'He has been a little nicer to me, but I thought that was just because he felt guilty…love? He wants love?' he thought, confused and…scared.

'What will he do to me now?'

He gulped and looked up at Gilbert with a wary look, a scared look…a pleading look.

Gil saw and realized what Shinn must be thinking. He couldn't help but to smirk and lean towards the younger man until he fell backwards. He pinned his hands above his head and felt him tremble beneath him.

He brushed his lips along his neck and Shinn whimpered. The boy closed his eyes tight and bit his lip hard; trying to think of how to get out of this…he didn't want to go through this again.

"Shinn." He heard Gil's velvet voice say his name and slowly opened his eyes. The look Gil had in his eyes made him want to scream.

It was a look of longing…of love, but dark and determined.

Gil leaned closer and Shinn tried to lean back more. "Please don't do this…not again…I…I can't…" he whimpered again as tears began to gather again.

"Shhh, just relax, Shinn, I promise to be gentle. Besides, you were willing a minute ago, are you having trouble making up your mind?" Durandal asked, his breath hot on Shinn's neck.

Shinn gasped and began to struggle. "No! I won't let you hurt me again!" he yelled. He got out of Durandal's grasp and punched the older man in the face.

Gilbert swore and grabbed Shinn's arms and held them cross-ways against his chest, pulling until Shinn screamed in pain.

The sound resurrected the feelings and memories of that fateful night, and Gil's emotions took control, sweeping over his mind and consuming him until all that was left was raw lust.

Shinn's heart-rate and blood-pressure continued to build up as he struggled and yelled, trying to break free, as Gilbert again tried to rape him.

"You'll be mine, Little Soldier Boy, whether you're willing or not." Gil growled.

Hearing those words, something snapped. Shinn froze and his system began to shut down, his body relaxed and his vision turned hazy until black. The blood rushed out of his face and Gilbert paused, confused as Shinn's eyes fluttered closed and he went still.

'Did he have a heart-attack or something?' he wondered, checking his pulse.

Suddenly, Shinn's eyes snapped open and refocused. He looked at Durandal as if waiting for a command, and the blood returned to his face, but there was a strange look in his eyes.

They were faded. Dead.

The brainwashing had fully taken effect.

Gilbert grinned and leaned down for a kiss.

The Milgram Experiment

During the 1960s, a man named Stanley Milgram wondered whether people would painfully shock others simply because an authority figure told them to. He collected almost 1,000 male participants, including college students. He told a group of paid volunteers that he was studying the effects of punishment on learning. He introduced them each to a "learner", who would recite a list of paired words they were instructed to memorize earlier, and each time the "learner" made a mistake, the "teacher" would push a button that would shock the learner, these shocks were mild at first but increased each time to a max of 450 volts.

The shocks were false, but the volunteers didn't know this; the learners displayed pain, screamed, and begged. Most of the volunteers administered the full range of electric shocks to the learners. 65% pushed until it reached the max of 450 volts, part of that being 88% of the college students who administered the highest level of shock! These results imply that ordinary people can easily inflict pain on someone else if they were ordered to do so. Milgram later informed the volunteers that no shocks were actually administered.

This shows that you don't need a brainwashing device to harm others simply because an authority figure ordered you to. While that may work out in the military, out on the streets of the world today, I have to wonder whether we should be proud or ashamed of this fact. One of the points of this fic was to show that questioning authority isn't wrong, but sometimes necessary. I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to the government or monarchy, I'm simply saying to think about what they say. If you blindly follow orders without thinking, how can you know that justice is being served?

The main characters in this story, and on this show, are focused on serving justice. There have been many times when they have questioned or disobeyed authority, because they knew what was right.

The world isn't fair.

But that doesn't mean you have to be unfair. If you know that something isn't right, speak up about it, do something about it, don't just sit back and let it happen. If you don't agree with a law or rule, ask about its origins before breaking it. I'm not saying that you should demand the legal drinking age to be 13 or something like that, but if you feel that a law or rule is unfair in any way, try to understand its purpose.

Being a soldier doesn't mean being soulless. It means that you are fighting for what you believe to be right and true in your own heart. Whatever side you're on, don't follow it blindly, or because someone tells you to. Decide for yourself whether you agree and approve of the views your side is fighting for. Don't be afraid of having opinions, but don't force them on others.

I'm done with my rant now…

BLOOPERS!!!

Chapter 9 or so, when Shinn is introduced to the Destiny Gundam.

Rowan was walking down the hallway when he heard loud music coming from the hangar.

He frowned and stepped inside to see Shinn doing the robot to Queen's "Domo Arigoto Mr. Roboto" along with the crew of the base.

He stopped and stood there with a strange look on his face.

Suddenly he heard a sigh from beside him and jumped to see it was Gilbert.

"Talented, isn't he? Don't you just love how he does the robot?" he said all lovey-dovey.

Rowan's eye twitched and he turned around, walking back to his office to bang his head on his desk.

Chapter 7, when Rowan and Durandal come back to the lab to find Shinn making fun of the doctor.

When Rowan and Gilbert entered the lab they saw Shinn and Dr. Shushimi swaying with their arms around each other with a beer in their extended arms. They were sitting on the broken brainwashing machine…and they were singing…

Rowan stopped short and Gilbert had an odd look on his face.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Rowan asked.

"Ah, Roran Ssterling, nice t' see yaz again! Shinn and I were just –hic- uh, was just…" the doctor stammered and burst out laughing.

"Wazzup, doc?" Shinn asked and also started laughing.

"Apparently they're drunk." Gil stated.

"No duh, Captain Obvious!" Rowan exclaimed.

Gil grinned and grabbed Shinn.

"Weee! I can fly!" Shinn cried and waved his arms around.

Rowan watched as he took him down the hall and into his room.

"Y'know, that boy –hic- is quite charming once you –belch- get to know him." The doctor said and then fell over.

Somewhere between the time Shinn was being held captive by Gil and Rowan

Shinn snuck up behind Rowan with a bucket of water and then dumped it on him.

"AHHHHH!!!! I'M MELTING! I'M MEEELLLLTINNNGGGG!!!!" Rowan screamed and melted as Shinn laughed evilly while dancing around.

Chapter 7, when Kira and Athrun are talking and Kira needs "companionship"

"You have to live your life, Kira. You know Shinn wouldn't want you to be acting this way." Athrun told him.

Kira sighed. "You're right." He said and then jumped on Athrun.

"TAKE ME NOW!" he screamed.

Athrun looked surprised for a second and then grinned and ran to the bedroom, carrying Kira.

Chapter 3, when Cagalli is telling Lacus the bad news

"I'm sorry Lacus, but I'm afraid your husband just isn't what you thought he was." Cagalli told her.

There was silence on the other end of the phone until:

"THAT –BLEEPING BLEEP- I'M GONNA –CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR- I SWEAR I'M GOING TO RIP HIM TO SHREDS! –BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEPR BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEP-!" Lacus screamed as there were sounds of crashing and things breaking.

Cagalli looked oddly at the phone as she heard Lacus cuss more and break more stuff, then wind as she apparently started driving wildly.

"This just in, a woman resembling Lacus Clyne is driving crazily down 3rd Street and Brooks Avenue, please clear the road and get the hell out of dodge or else she just might run you over!" a news anchor said on the TV.

Cagalli slowly placed the phone back on the pad and then slammed her head on the desk.

-Author's Note: Okay, that's enough for now, maybe if you guys have enough bloopers for me I'll post them, but until then this is it! Thank you for all your support, even if you've just read this, thanks to all my reviewers and everyone who gave me ideas, especially demonz8000 and KarumA-chan!

(1) This song is done by Linkin Park and is called "What I've Done"

Peace out guys!-