Weird Happy Life of Izzy

"No, no you don't understand!" Gwen yelled, still decked out in a very convincing Izzy suit. The man in the helicopter laughed menacingly.

"I'll tell you what I do understand, Isabelle," the man started, holding the megaphone high so that his message was clear, "you have shot and severely injured a civilian," he gestured towards Duncan, who had collapsed to the floor from a lack of Gwen's support.

The forest floor was now being tainted by a growing red puddle. Courtney snickered at the man referring to Duncan as "civil" and was now kneeling at his side, trying to somehow use her first aid training from being a CIT (as she had so previously reminded them) to prevent Duncan's eventual demise.

"…and you have damaged the Toronto national park almost beyond repair!" the man finished, lowering his helicopter so the trees were pushed dangerously close to breaking point from the large force of wind. Everyone started yelling numerous different protests, trying to explain the situation.

"That isn't Izzy!" Courtney belted over the roar of the helicopter.

"She's just wearing a suit!" whispered Duncan.

"Izzy was here a minute ago-"

"But she ran off-"

"So Gwen put on the Izzy suit-"

"And you mistook her for Izzy!"

Courtney and Duncan's explanation was so far-fetched, that they actually weren't surprised that the man in the helicopter laughed once again. He suddenly pressed a button, and a large net fell from the helicopter's base. It came hurtling down… down…
…right on top of Gwen.

Gwen screamed at the collision, the strong ropes digging at her skin while she tried to free herself. Courtney gasped, and went to rush to her side, only for the man in the helicopter to stop her.

"Halt!" he bellowed through the megaphone, "I forbid you to go any closer. That girl is certifiable, she's dangerous!" She and Duncan then burst back into their explanation of the real story, each version more unlikely than the next to the bemused RCMP officer.

"But she's not Izzy!" Courtney yelled, her arms flailing in all directions. Suddenly an idea sprung to Duncan's mind, one so dangerous, so unwise, maybe even life threatening. He took a deep breath, the mark of how much he liked her (friendship and otherwise) about to shine through

"We'll find Izzy for you." He said with her eyes closed. As expected, Courtney turned on him as if he had told them he used to be a woman. The daggers emitting from his eyes were enough for anyone to question her sanity, in fact, Courtney did.

"Are you crazy?" she exclaimed, wanting nothing more but to bury herself in countless cases, only having to talk about explosions rather than experience them from the pocket of a deranged ginger.

"You actually want to go looking for that freak?"
Duncan nodded, and lifted himself up. It seemed that Courtney's attention had proved beneficial. She had somehow managed to craft a sling from forest leaves, and a bandage from the seams of Duncan's shirt, although now he was given the appearance of a marooned sailor.

"If you promise to let go of Gwen, we'll capture Izzy and bring her to you."

He wagered with the man. Even though he was much higher than them, they could tell that the man was considering it because he seemed to have placed his megaphone on the seat next to him.

"Alright, you've got yourself a deal." The man said slyly. Everyone felt a mixed feeling of relief that Gwen was going to be saved, but extremely fearful at the lengths they would have to go to make it possible.

"You bring me the "real" Izzy," the man said, his hands now grasping the steering wheel, "and I'll release the "fake" Izzy," everyone could tell that he still didn't believe them, but obviously wanted to make a bet with a bunch of ambitious teenagers for a laugh. This seemed to have increased everyone's motivation.

"But in the meantime," the man added, before lifting the helicopter higher into the air. Gwen's net was attached to the helicopter via a string, which sent her hovering precariously below the aircraft. Duncan's cry in dismay was the loudest, with Courtney's squeal coming in a close second. The man laughed.

"I get to keep the "fake one"" The man didn't bother lowering his megaphone as he cackled madly while flying away with a screaming Gwen.

…

Izzy was definitely living the high life. All in a matter of 20 minutes she had managed to overrule the village she and Owen travelled to, by wagering that she could beat the village leader in a game of rock paper scissors (needless to say, the leader wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed).

She sat in a large bamboo chair, with Owen perched at her side. He seemed to be foolishly infatuated with the red head, as he couldn't seem to take his small beady eyes off her. A few of the village advisors were serving her multicoloured drinks, which she seemed to gulp down in one massive sip.

"Ha, ha, ha," Izzy commented, throwing her head against the back of her chair while twirling a pink spiral straw in between her fingers.

"I personally see no way of this situation going wrong."

Suddenly, Izzy and Owen found themselves staring down the barrel of a camera that just so happened to be there the entire time, apparently.

The blank looks on their faces were just screaming "something's gonna go wrong! Open your eyes you clouded lunatic!" but Izzy and Owen looked at each other and smiled.

"Wow, when we looked at the camera I was just like, "whoa, did not see that coming!" It was almost like it was scripted or something. Hey do you think there's an alternate universe where there's this psychotic madwoman who takes pride in making me ramble on for ages to emphasise the point that I'm slowly losing my mind for entertainment? Cause if there was, I would totally beat her in rock paper scissors!"

Izzy seemed to have rambled on within the span of one
breath, which surprised and worried Owen. If there was only who had bigger lungs, then Owen hadn't met them. But he couldn't help think that maybe there was some crazy, deranged woman, who just loves making people eat so that her rabid readers can laugh at their ridiculousness…

"Damn you, madwoman!" he screeched, falling to his knees, "why'd you make me eat so much?" and suddenly, Owen burst into tears and fled the scene, leaving Izzy and the village advisors alone.

"That was weird." Izzy said casually.

…Very weird, indeed.