Day 19: Angel
Okay, sad little piece set just post Buffy-Season1 episode Angel. This is immediately after Buffy pulls away from their kiss, and there's a crucifix burned into his chest *sob*. The obvious metaphor-y-ness is too good not to play with. Also, a shout out to my Number 1 Bestest Reviewer Faolan228. Thanks for the awesome encouragement! If I could I'd give you a crown, and maybe a certificate. To the story! Though, can I recommend putting the Bangel love theme (Close Your Eyes) on in the background, lol. It's kind of fitting.
What does it mean when the one you love stands against everything that you are? What happens when you're irrevocably drawn to someone who's calling in life is to eliminate your kind? What do you do when you're head over heels in love with someone who should have killed you the first time you met?
The kiss was searing, a burning, white hot pain and for more reasons than one. Her tongue was the warmest thing I'd felt in centuries, her lips softer than anything I'd ever touched. She melted into me like she was a part of me. I felt like, in that moment, our souls were touching. It burned me, from the outside in to feel her on me, on my tongue, on my clothes, on my skin. She was pure, chaste, innocent, beautiful. I was a monster, a murderer, a demon. I was everything she ought to despise, and yet she kissed me. She kissed me with a burning passion that tore through me like flames, licking to the very core of my being until I felt like I was burning up from the inside out.
I met Buffy Summers mere days after she move to Sunnydale, of course I knew of her long before then. I knew of her the day she was given her calling. Even then, I knew she was supposed to be mine. Even then, a scared, young girl, shallow and thoughtless, she held her heart out proudly, showing it for everybody to see. When I saw her all I could think was how terrified I was that someone would hurt it. I wanted, instantly, to be the one to protect her. I wanted to change myself – for her. For Buffy. The first time I spoke to her was in a dark ally. She tried to hit me. But I bestowed the first of many gifts upon her, I gave her something which would later become my pain, though a hurt I so rightly deserved. But I also gave her something much more valuable. I gave her a warning which I hoped would, perhaps, save her life.
But I'm a demon. That's the fundamental truth, and it will never not be the case, because it's what I am and what I have been for many lifetimes. I may not be just like the rest of them, but it's still there, pounding in my still blood, gnawing at my tattered soul. There is still a demon inside of me. And in her presence, I almost forgot that. In her presence, I almost felt like a man. But the gift I gave her all those weeks ago… it brought me crashing back down to reality. As she walked away from me, it left me marked. Emblazoned with a stain that signified that I wasn't human. That I never would be. It screamed to the heavens and the hells that I would never, could never, be everything she needed. The silver cross, I'd given it to her… a gift, protection against demons like me. When she'd kissed me, pain had torn through me, sure the physical pain of having the crucifix emblazoning itself into my chest, but more than that. There was an emotional torment that ripped through me like fire. A fire licking and burning, crackling and hissing, whispering to me the words that I didn't – couldn't – hear when her lips were pressed to mine. I was different. The cross scarred onto my chest was an eternal reminder of the fundamental thing that would drive Buffy and I apart, no matter how hard we tried to hold onto each other… that Buffy should have killed me. That I deserved to be dead. The cross would forever be a symbol that our relationship was long doomed before it had even truly begun.
I know it was short... but drop me a review? It was a little dark and I want to know what my gentle readers though :) Tomorrow, Vampire Willow!