I'm not hungry…

He was sick of hearing that phrase, tired of hearing her lie about her appetite. All he had seen her do the past couple of days was sit at the table and watch them eat, and at lunch, she only had a rice ball and three strawberries, hardly enough for a pregnant woman. Honestly, he didn't even think she was eating enough for a five-year-old. He watched her shove around the food on her still full plate for a minute longer before he caved in, letting his desire to finally speak win, but at least, he managed to contain the urge to reach over and force-feed her.

"You haven't been eating very much the past few days," he pointed out.

"Ah… Um… I ate while you were studying in your room…" she murmured.
Lie. He hadn't studied today. Actually, when had he ever studied? He had been down here, watching her, waiting for her to eat something, but she never did. He stared at her worriedly. She couldn't stop eating now, though he could partially understand why she was doing this, or at least he had an assumption that this was because of the excessive weight gain of pregnancy. He could somewhat grasp the feeling of insecurity a woman might feel while not being as thin as she once was, but it was hard for him, someone who never really paid much attention to his own weight, to comprehend the need to be skinny. All he knew was that their daughter was depending on her food intake for her own nutrients.

Sure, he understood self-esteem issues. He had problems with his own self-image, but that was with how he perceived his own personality and attitude, not his physical appearance –besides not being entirely comfortable with his slightly feminine looks. How looks prevailed over personality nowadays baffled him. It seemed rather absurd for people to be fussing over appearances when one day they were all going to be old and wrinkly, but even if that happened, they'd still be remotely the same on the inside. Besides, why was Tohru, the girl who hardly gave a second thought to what others thought of her, worrying about her waistline? She had no reason to be paranoid about her rounding belly. A baby was in there, not a mass of fat. Besides, wasn't she aware of how downright adorable she looked, even now?

Obviously not.

Tohru fidgeted in her seat, uncomfortable with his staring. She had no idea that someone had noticed how little she had been consuming. It almost made her maniacal, though not entirely in a bad way, to know that he was observing her, that he was paying enough attention to her to notice that. She felt her cheeks grow hot, and she was suddenly grateful that both Shigure and Kyo were no longer at the table with them. She sort of wished she wasn't at the table anymore either. Tohru didn't like anyone, especially Yuki, to see her blush. She turned her face down towards her hands, fiddling with them, awaiting Yuki to finish his meal so she could leave and wash the dishes.

"Does this have anything to do with what my mom said last week?" Yuki guessed, anxious to get to the bottom of this.

She was silent. He took that as a yes.

"Tohru…"

"I'm fine."

She stood up abruptly, taking her untouched plate with her. Tohru turned around before Yuki could identify whether those were tears forming in her eyes or just a figment of his imagination. She had already taken three steps towards the kitchen by the time he had gotten up, swerved around the table and clasped his hand around her shoulder. He had only meant to turn her around to continue talking to her, but he got more than he expected.

He watched the plate Tohru had once been holding launch into the air, flip over, sending food sprawling across the room, and land five feet from where he was standing as the brunette flopped back into his arms. Yuki quickly shifted his gaze over to Tohru, expecting her to jump up, apologize, and immediately start cleaning, but she didn't even open her eyes. Sixty seconds passed before he was willing to believe that something was wrong, and another minute before he could move, but it didn't even take him half a second to feel the fear drown him.

As carefully and gently as his terror stricken hands would let him, he set her down on the ground, still waiting for her to open her eyes, but she didn't. Not even after he shook her. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist instantly, checking for a pulse. Regardless of the weak but steady pulse he received and the normal rise and fall of her chest, signaling her breathing, he called Hatori after he brought her to her room and set her on her bed. Yet, even after Hatori told him that Tohru was going to be perfectly fine, he couldn't relax, not even enough to leave her side for a minute.

He didn't even release Tohru's frigid hand, not when Hatori came, not when he was sticking an IV into her arm, not after the doctor left, and not even after the numbers on the digital clock in her room signaled midnight.

His fingers only loosened around hers when she shivered and her large brown eyes crept out from their hiding place behind her eyelids. She stared at him for a minute in confusion before they widened with shock. She hopped up into a sitting position, her gaze traveling all around her room as if she didn't recognize where she was. The end of her scrutiny left her staring at the IV stuck in her vein. If he had thought she had been pale before, he wasn't sure what word was left to describe this new shade of white blooming across her skin.

Worriedly, his hand cupped her cheek, turning her face towards his.

"Are you okay, Tohru?"

She blinked, confused, "Yes… W-Why wouldn't I be?"

"You fainted… Don't you remember?"

"I-I did?!" she squeaked.

"Yes, you've been unconscious for quite some time now. Hatori suspects it's either due to dehydration –hence the IV- or because of your stress level," Yuki explained slowly.

"Dehydration?" Tohru repeated the word strangely.

"You probably know better than I do that you've hardly drunk enough or eaten enough… Please tell me you've at least been taking your prenatal vitamins…" he whispered hopefully.

Tohru bobbed her head up and down in affirmation, but she could not look him in the eye. As slow as she was, even she could figure out where this conversation was going. If his words hadn't given the direction away, his expression did. He seemed to be angry, disappointed, yet concerned, all at the same time. There were even hints of confusion plastered in his eyes. She could only guess what kind of thoughts and assumptions were running through his head at the moment. It wouldn't surprise her if he thought she was just another anorexic freak, and in a way, she'd admit, she was.

It was hard not to be self-conscious over her looks when every girl –with the exception of Uo and Hana- and most of the boys at school were making fun of her, taunting her every minute of the school day. Then again, maybe she wouldn't even be fussing over her appearance so much if the guy she loved didn't have most of the girls at school throwing themselves at him everyday. It might have been easiest if she didn't feel about him that way period. Then she wouldn't have to fret about how he thought she looked. Even so, Tohru didn't regret falling in love with him, but it couldn't have distorted her thinking more, though that might have something to do with the increased hormones in her body as well.

"What were you thinking, Tohru? You should know better… The baby needs her mommy to eat so she can grow…" Yuki trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Tohru buried her face in her hands, gasping for air as strangled sobs escaped from the back of her throat. She couldn't hate herself more than she did at the moment. She knew she shouldn't worry about how she looked, but how could she not when she was competing with every girl at school for the attention of the man she loved? They were so much more beautiful than her, not to mention thin, and ten times smarter, but the only thing she could remotely control was her weight. Even then, she couldn't do much about it because she was pregnant. She wanted to be a good mother, she wanted to take care of her child, but most of the time, she just wished she wasn't pregnant.

It was a stupid wish, but she wanted it anyways. Being the school freak ceased to amuse her anymore. Actually, it was hardly even bearable anymore. She didn't want to worry about what she ate anymore. She didn't want to be nauseous any longer. She didn't want to be the main topic of school gossip ever again. She just wanted to a regular teenager and only worry about trying to get a date or try to earn money.

Yuki cringed, regretting his words. He hadn't intended to make her cry at all. Causing even a single tear out of Tohru was considered a sin in his world. It actually hurt to know he had pained her. Immediately, he drew her into his arms with an apologetic expression. Just feeling each tear of hers soak his shirt and hearing each sob, with the pure anguish the two brought him, made him repent his careless words. Yuki mentally kicked himself repeatedly as he held onto her trembling body. He'd give almost anything to be able to take those words back.

"I'm Tohru…" she mumbled into his chest.

He pulled away from her, confused. She wasn't doubting that he knew her, was she? Sure, he hadn't told her how he felt, but that hardly meant that his feelings weren't obvious. If he didn't care about her, why else would he be sitting up in her room at midnight? Sometimes, her thought process made no sense to him. Most of the time, that didn't bother him, but he wished she wouldn't think so poorly of herself. Waiting for her to elaborate, he watched her eyes drift down and lock her hands on top of her belly.

"I know that…" he reminded her.

"I'm not supposed to care about looking fat… I don't want to…"

She didn't want to care about her appearance… So why was she? Was there something he was missing? Did she secretly like someone and was worrying about her body for some guy? He tensed at the thought. He loved her and thought she was gorgeous, wasn't that enough? Apparently not. It made him wonder how much Tohru liked this guy if she was willing to starve herself for him, but what made him most curious was who this guy was or even if he was guessing the cause of her eating issue correctly. Regardless, that wasn't the most important thing at the moment. He wanted to end this whole situation before he looked into its cause.

Yuki placed his hand over her belly, "This is not fat, Tohru. This is your daughter, my daughter, our daughter… And, you know what? She's going to die if you don't eat. You're going to die if you don't eat. I care too much about you… and our daughter to let you do this."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize… Just promise me that you'll eat more now."

She looked down, taking a deep breath before she nodded. That seemed like an easy enough vow to follow through with. Besides, there wasn't much she wouldn't do if he asked her to. She closed her eyes, beaming. Thinking about what she had just done, it sounded a little silly to her now. Twenty-one weeks ago, she would never have thought that the weight gaining that came along with bearing children would affect her psychologically. She would never have dreamed that she would become one of those girls who fussed over her weight, but it had been harder than she had once thought to gain that much weight. Gaining fifteen pounds in a matter of months was a lot for her considering that she had been around the same weight for quite a few years now. Maybe she wasn't as ready for motherhood as she thought she was.

"Yuki-kun…? Do you think the baby will be okay?"

"Of course. You haven't been doing this for very long. Besides, many women feel self-conscious about their appearance during pregnancy…" Yuki told her, stating a fact from some webpage he had seen the other day.

"So… I'm not a freak?" she whispered hopefully.

Yuki laughed, "No, no you're not… But you're asking the wrong person. I used to turn into a rat when you hugged me, remember? It sort of takes a lot to freak me out."

That was a relief to hear. She didn't exactly want to hear someone remind her of how unfit she was at the moment to be a mother because of this little error she had made. It didn't take much to make the Yuki fan club girls reprimand her even though they had no right to. They had never been pregnant before, or at least, not this far into a pregnancy, so they hardly understood how much effort she had to put into even simple tasks, such as walking. It was like having a bag of flour strapped around her waist, and it looked like she did too.

Besides the actual weight gain, the indulgent eating made her feel guilty. She knew she was supposed to eat more food for the child, but she felt awkward eating more than Shigure, Kyo, or Yuki did, especially since they paid for the groceries. Tohru already felt like she was mooching off of them. She lived under their roof, used their electricity and water, and she didn't pay them a thing. They wouldn't take her money if she offered, and even worse, she was barely upholding her end of the bargain.

Everything was harder now that she was pregnant. Not only did morning sickness interrupt her duties periodically, but she performed her tasks lethargically. She wound up taking a nap after doing simple things like mopping the floor. She hated it, but Yuki never let her work over an hour after he found her fast asleep, curled up by the table a month ago. He even made her cut down her nighttime job to only weekends, and even then, she was forbidden to work over two hours. She didn't understand him. How did he expect her to support herself and her daughter if she couldn't work more than four hours a week? Her pay was minimal too.

The amount she ate bothered her most though. She had about two servings every meal, and sporadically Yuki would insist that she have a snack when he thought she hadn't consumed enough of a certain nutrient. Because of that, she had been avoiding him a bit, which turned out to be a bad idea. It had left her more than hungry, and the sound of her grumbling stomach showed it. Yuki smiled when he heard the unfeminine sound leak from her abdomen. She, on the other hand, was humiliated by the growl.

"I'll go get you something to eat. I'm sure you're hungry," Yuki offered as he got to his feet.

Tohru grabbed his hand, "Wait… I'll go with you."

She tossed her blanket aside and swung her legs off the bed, but he stopped her with a restraining hand on her shoulder before her feet touched the ground. He gently forced her back into lying on her bed and covered her with the blanket, much to Tohru's confusion and dismay, but she didn't question him yet nor did she try to sit back up after he retreated. She simply stared at him in a bewildered manner.

"I don't think that's a very good idea…" he told her.

"Why?"

He eyed the IV in her arm, hating to remind her about that. She flinched as her eyes located the IV again. She shuddered, unknowingly leaning away from the arm with the needle in it. He almost laughed. It was already in her arm, what else was there to be afraid of? Nobody was going to wander over, yank out the IV and poke her with it again. Despite finding her fear a bit ludicrous, he slipped her arm under her pink comforter, keeping the needle out of her sight. This seemed to cheer her a bit, but her posture was still rigid and cautious.

"Don't worry, it won't bite you," he reassured her.

Tohru simpered embarrassedly, her cheeks growing red.

"You're so adorable…" he chuckled.

He ruffled her hair with a smile before turning around to bring her back some food, but her tiny hand held onto his fingers. Yuki whirled around to face her again, tilting his head to the side questioningly. She hesitated, opening her mouth to speak for only half a second before shutting it again. He gently squeezed her fingers, urging her on. Normally, he wouldn't rush her into saying something she was uneasy about, but he was incredibly eager to get some food into her body. Tohru, sensing his anxiety but not understanding the reason for it, decided to spit out whatever she had to say and get it over with.

"Could you… Could you please not tell Uo-chan or Hana-chan about this, pl-please?" Tohru begged quickly.

Yuki's face contorted with confusion, not understanding why she would make such a request. She was never one to keep secrets from her friends other than her pregnancy which she hadn't even kept from them for more than three weeks. He couldn't argue with the plea sparkling in her eyes though, so he chose to agree with her demand before questioning her for the reason. Tohru seemed to instantly relax at the sight of his agreement

"As you wish… May I ask why?"

She looked down again, "Because Uo-chan and Hana-chan would be mad at me if you told them. They wouldn't understand…"

That had been partially a lie. Uo and Hana would never ever be angry at her, but they could be mad at Yuki. If they found out about this little situation, they just might kill Yuki. She knew they'd accuse him for making her feel so badly about her figure even though he shouldn't be blamed. It wasn't his fault if he wasn't interested in her, but he'd still be guilty in Uo and Hana's eyes. Since she didn't want him hurt over this and neither did she want Uo and Hana to accidentally tell him about her feelings as they yelled, she figured the best solution would be to keep this from ever reaching her two friends.

"I don't entirely understand either…" he pointed out.

"B-but you're not angry…"

"How do you know that?"

"You don't seem mad at me… A-are you?" she gasped, suddenly worried.

She wasn't sure what she'd do if he was angry with her. He was the one that was getting her through this pregnancy safely. He was, more or less, her babysitter, sending her to bed when it was too late, helping her understand her schoolwork, checking to see if she had eaten, and he even consoled her when she was upset. What was she to do if he was sick of this? This whole ordeal wouldn't be much fun without him, and honestly, thanks to the amount of time she got to spend with Yuki, she was practically enjoying the pregnancy. Tohru needed him, even if he didn't find her necessary for his survival.

"More worried than angry, I would say," he answered.

Tohru beamed, relieved. Worried she could handle, anger she couldn't. His concern would wear off soon enough, seeing as she planned to eat now, but she knew he could hold a grudge for quite some time. His relationship with Ayame couldn't be a better example. Ayame had rejected Yuki over ten years ago, but to the present-day, Yuki still resented Ayame slightly. This wasn't to say she thought he was a horribly indecent person. In fact, she considered him the opposite, but she knew things that angered him weren't forgotten very easily.

He watched her face change, displaying a variety of emotions within a single minute. She had been extremely nervous and frightened one second, joyful the next, and then back to sad and fretful again. Yuki wasn't entirely engrossed in the reasoning behind her change of expression but more so the fact that she was saddened in the first place. Desperate to bring the light back into her eyes, he smiled at her, covering her hand with his, leaning towards her.

"You want to know a secret?"

She nodded. He stared into her eyes for a brief moment, debating whether he should tell her what he had intended to or not, but it didn't take more than her keen interest to convince him to talk. He wasn't even sure he could have stopped himself from telling her if he tried. It hardly even registered in his head that he was even speaking until he was done and was gauging her face for a reaction.

He leaned over until his lips were practically against her ear, "I think you're beautiful. So stop worrying about how you look…"

Tohru gaped, turning her head towards him in pure shock. She shook her head to either side rapidly, denying what he had just said vehemently. She had seen her reflection enough to know that beautiful was not the most accurate word to describe her appearance. Even before her pregnancy, she had never thought of herself as attractive. She wasn't the type of girl that got asked out on dates, not the kind of person that turned heads or stopped people in their tracks. She hadn't even been asked out once before, not even by the less popular guys.

"I-I am n-not!" Tohru squeaked.

"Hey, that's my opinion. You can have yours, but I can havemine."

Tohru frowned skeptically at him. The only people who had ever complimented her on her appearance had been her mother, Uo, and Hana. It was no shock that she doubted that the most popular guy in school, the guy she loved, thought she was physically appealing. She gazed at him, wanting to believe him, but she couldn't even though his voice sounded like it held only the best intentions, and his face didn't show anything but genuine honesty. Regardless, he was probably a good actor, and with the added benefit that she was rather gullible, she didn't think it'd take much to make her misread something.

"You're just trying to make me feel better…" she whispered.

"No, no I'm not."

"You really think that?"

"Would I lie to you?"

She looked down, flushing as she shook her head. She hadn't meant to give him the impression that she didn't trust him, but believing something like that would just be silly, even for someone as credulous as she was.

"Yet, you don't believe me?'

Again, she shook her head. He sighed, disappointed. He didn't quite understand why he felt so compelled to convince her that she was still attractive –at least in his opinion- even though she was pregnant, but he did.

"Believe what you like, but I've said nothing but the truth."

He brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, his fingers dawdling by the edge of her face. Yuki was far from being some sort of Romeo, or even someone relatively experienced in love, but he knew what love was like. Love was the best feeling he had ever experienced even though he hardly understood it. It perplexed him how one small frown from her could drive him over the edge. Her unhappiness bothered him more than his own, so at the moment, he would do anything to take that sorrow from her, and considering how much time Yuki spent with Tohru, he knew exactly what would distract her most at the moment. Despite how embarrassed she –or even he- would be afterwards, he followed through with his last minute plan, deciding he liked her bashfulness more than her anguish.

There wasn't much more thinking from either of them before his lips made contact with her cheek. It was over before she even realized what was happening. He smiled, his fingers tickling her as they slid off her face. She stared at him, completely in awe as he stood up and started for the door.

"I'll go get your food now…"

That end was in an odd place. Oh well. : MERRY CHRISTMAS. I hope your holiday was super spiffy. I hope you all do me a big favor for the holidays -besides editing this for me- and go to France and go kidnap Gaspard Ulliel for me. Pretty please? That guy is like... the most beautiful thing I've ever seen xD Teehee. A lot of research went into this chapter, hence the late update. So yes, this is a common aspect of pregnancy. Sorry if it was OOC. I liked the idea xD I'm weird.