Chapter 21
Luo Castle
"So Jiang Wei, you are how old?" Zhuge Liang looked at the young lad who he had snatched from the grasps of Cao Cao.
"Nineteen, my lord."
Finally, someone who shows me the respect I deserve. "I am looking for a pupil, and understudy if you will, to school in methods of strategy."
"I am honored, but does Shu not have Pang Tong and your wife, Yue Ying?"
"They are set in their ways and in many ways they are wrong."
"Then I gladly accept your offer."
"Excellent! You will begin immediately." Liang rubbed his hands together; something was finally going his way.
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"Well my friend, are you sure this is what you want to do?" Huang Zhong looked over at his bizarre traveling companion, the same man who had just saved his life a week ago when Han Xuan went mad and tried to kill him. All he did was suggest that Liu Bei wasn't such a bad guy.
"Must….Fight…..Somewhere."
"There are a lot of armies out there, we can keep going. Wu is not too far away, they are a bit more established."
"No…..pretty boys."
"Wei Yan, you of all people can't judge people on their appearance." Zhong sighed and looked over at the man.
"Stupid….Old….Man." Wei Yan grinned, he liked the old archer. He never judged him and he never failed to speak his mind. "Wu….fight….. for…themselves."
"Yes I do believe they do. That would rule us out wouldn't it? Liu Bei allegedly treats everyone equal, he even lets his women fight. I do have to admit, that is something I would like to see."
"Join…then." He waved his hand at the old man, "You first."
Huang Zhong smiled, this would be interesting. They would meet with this Zhuge Liang, a man rumored to be the unparalleled genius in China. He was glad Wei Yan felt the same way about Wu that he did, if they went there they would surely be pushed aside in favor of one of the family. Liu Bei seemed to have the same dedication to family as Sun Jian, but the Shu army was a family of friends-a hell of a lot more impressive. Friends you can choose, family you just get stuck with.
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Cal rode along the mountain pass by herself, ahead of Ma Chao's army. Ma Chao was chatting with his men, as a good general would. It only made it more obvious to Cal that she was wasting her time with him, a man like that was way too good for her. Lu Bu was lurking around the rear guard, obviously hoping to find a moment to ride off on his own. But she sensed he was becoming more relaxed about the current arrangements with Shu, not that he had much of a choice, she had stolen his one potential officer away from him. She wished he would leave, despite herself she was actually beginning to like him. His arrogance was forgivable when you fought beside him and she couldn't help but respect him for that, he was an incredible fighter. She turned around and watched Ma Chao laugh at a something a Colonel had told him. She couldn't help but smile herself, he was just perfect. She refocused her attention back to the road, and remembered how well he had fought. Ma Chao was just as good as Lu Bu, something she never thought she would come across. Maybe he was the replacement for the big brawny bastard. She rubbed her wrist and couldn't help but feel greedy, she wanted to bring them both home to Liu Bei. Having them would make up for the disadvantage in numbers that they always encountered. How long was this stupid road, anyway?
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"This is fuckin awesome!" Zhang Fei twirled his spear and laughed.
"Are you sure you want us to march ahead to Jing?" Guan Yu looked at Pang Tong who had just delivered the good news. With any luck the combined force of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei would not have to deal with Zhuge Liang for a full month. They would move ahead of the main force and set up for an attack on the Jing province, with Liu Bei meeting up with them after the attack on Luo Castle. Zhuge Liang had gone off on a separate mission with Yue Ying in tow, partially because of wounded pride, but mostly to seek out new officers. Yu suspected he was looking for men that did not humiliate him constantly.
"I will have more then enough men brother." Liu Bei chuckled. "You do forget I know how to fight."
"Stop arguing Yu! This is the best damned plan anyone has come up with yet! Pang Tong, you kick ass." Fei slapped the cloaked man on the back.
"Well, I aim to please." Tong giggled. "I don't see Liu Zhang being a difficult man to subdue. We will have an army of myself, Zhao Yun, Sun Shang Xiang and our lord. More than enough."
"Any word from Tong Gate?" Yun asked as he toyed with his War Su Gai.
"No, not yet. Even if they did send a rider out with a message, I doubt they'd get through. Cao Cao still has a heavy concentration of scouts in those mountains." Liu Bei tried to ease the worry he saw on Yun's face. Both Yu and Fei were overconfident, there was no one that could beat Lu Bu and Cal would easily tear up people if she stuck close to the mighty warrior. Combined talents of force and common sense would ensure their safe return. But Liu Bei was not as convinced; then again he worried about everything these days. Ma Chao would have a smaller force against Cao Cao, everyone had the disadvantage in numbers to Wei. Even if they did win, Cal would still have to win over Ma Chao. And he knew the young girl was lacking in the talents of persuasion, unless she tried to seduce him. Lu Bu did have the upper hand there; he could be very friendly when he wanted to be. That is what bothered him. A young lord like Ma Chao, out for revenge, would be easily won over by the promise of joining forces with the great Lu Bu. Maybe Cal wasn't the right choice for the job after all.
"What's going on?" Shang strolled up to the table, sweating from a good practice session with her bodyguards. Tong looked up at her with sparkling eyes and she gave him a peck on the cheek.
"Ohh….I'm changing my alliance to you." He sighed.
"What is it about you that they can't resist?" Yun was confused. He was having such a hard time with women right now; he couldn't seem to stop getting slapped in the face.
"Dunno." Tong answered honestly. "Sex toys?"
"Ewww…no." Shang walked over to her husband. "So Xuande, what's the plan?"
"We're leaving you in his hands." Yu pointed at Tong then picked up his spear and stood up. "So don't distract him too much."
"We're attacking the castle tomorrow, by way of the mountains." Liu Bei blushed a bit when she sat on his lap. His officers smirked to themselves.
"Try not to miss us too much!" Fei waved as Yu drug him away from the table.
"Try not to drink too much!" Answered Yun.
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Lu Bu watched the tail end of Ma Chao's small army pick up the pace as the cooler mountain air swept over them. Red Hare was angry, he hated being behind anyone, more or less an entire army. Lu Bu scratched his neck sympathetically; he had the same feelings about it. But he needed to be here, it gave him time to think and plan. It also gave him an easy escape route if his reasoning led him to believe that returning to Shu was a bad idea. Ma Chao was lost; the young lord was actually excited about joining Liu Bei. That left him with no one. There wasn't a single person that he could convince to join him on his conquest of China, and those were bad odds. Remaining with Liu Bei was the only option, witch didn't bother him as much as it used to. The Shu leader had a way of winning people over, not that Lu Bu was going to change his ways or anything. At this point, China looked like it was going to be split in three for a long time, and he would just have to wait until the three superpowers wore each other out or someone showed a weakness he could exploit.
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"No Huang Zhong, it is I who is honored by your presence." Zhuge Liang bowed, but not too much. Ass kissing was not amongst his favorite activities.
"So can Liu Bei use an old geezer like me?" Zhong chuckled as his self-insult.
"Age is to be revered, not ridiculed." Liang answered.
Jiang Wei's eyes glowed in admiration. How did he come up with all these great lines?
Yue Ying rolled her eyes. Leave it to her husband to use fortune cookie sayings in polite conversation.
"I also brought a friend, he is a fierce fighter. Forgive his, uh, speech impediment. An old war injury, you know?" Zhong threw a salute as he exited the tent.
"I do have to wonder if your friend is having this much luck acquiring officers." Liang sneered at his wife, the bitterness of her affair still lingered. And it was that little Mediterranean bitch's fault.
"I suspect she is doing just fine husband." Ying shot back emotionlessly. The nights without Tai were making her less and less forgiving of Liang's snide remarks.
"Mmm...." He let his attention drift back to the flap of the tent where a beast was standing. Evolution had apparently allowed his breed to become a biped, for whatever reason.
"Name…Wei Yan." He looked at the robed bastard, seeing that he instantly took a dislike to him. Asshole. Then there was the boy, who had obviously just crawled out of the strategist's ass. But the woman, she was different. This must have been who the old man was talking about, the woman warrior.
Ying watched her husband's eyes cloud with disgust. He wasn't going to even give this man a chance because he looked like a savage. She couldn't help but feel she needed to champion him. "Thank you for coming, sir. We have heard good things about you from your friend."
"Old man……good."
"Indeed. He has offered to join Liu Bei's forces; do you wish to do the same?" She smiled and noticed then Wei Yan was grinning at her. He had that same odd quality that Pang Tong had, that weird but likeable thing. She couldn't help but feel appreciated.
"Yes….angel." Wei Yan bowed to her, she was like a goddess of war.
"I would prefer if you'd refrained from hitting on my wife, thank you. You are dismissed; Shu doesn't need a brigand like yourself." Liang fanned himself and held his head up haughtily.
Wei Yan turned towards him. "Grrrrrrr."
"Shall I escort him out, Master Zhuge?" Jiang Wei stood, spear in hand.
"I hope he is capable of sniffing his way out. Probably scent marked everything on the way in." Liang got up and gathered his papers.
"Bitch." Wei Yan grumbled and ducked out of the tent.
"So whelp, how'd it go?" Zhong watched his friend charge past. "That good huh?"
"Dickhead." Snorted the masked man.
"I agree, he is quite self absorbed. He refused you?" the old man frowned.
"Yes."
"I don't know what to say, Wei Yan." Zhong shook his head, it wasn't supposed to go like this.
"Go to Liu Bei, he is much more understanding." Yue Ying ran up to them.
"Angel." Wei Yan's eyes twinkled.
"Thank you." She smiled, he was endearing. "My husband is finicky, and always moody. Liu Bei will not refuse an officer of your quality; he will see the good in you."
"But…..bastard….refused?"
"I'll let you in on a little secret, my husband hates practically everyone. And the feeling is returned, triple fold. If you go to the main Shu camp and offer your services to our lord directly, I guarantee the next time we speak we will be allies." Ying smiled as he kissed her hand.
"I…..go." He ran off in his peculiar way.
"And you're married to him?" Zhong looked over at Liang as he stepped out of his tent with Jiang Wei on his heels.
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Cal sighed as she hung her shield on the side of her saddle. Her stupid wrist kept swelling and she kept having to take out the bracer and extra notch. Unfortunately there were no more notches. Reluctantly she removed the protector and looked at the joint, she could feel her blood pumping through it and it echoed into the back of her skull.
"Oh my God, why didn't you say something?" Ma Chao had come up to check on her.
"It's nothing." She looked for somewhere to hide he arm so he wouldn't be able to see it. Damn her and her slutty attire, there was nothing available!
"Nothing? You got that because of me!" He grabbed Ares bridle and started to pull her off the road, towards a stream. "It needs to be taken care of."
She tried to turn her horse away, but the every so faithful steed was busy sniffing Lotus's mane. "Lord Ma, I'll take care of it myself."
"Yes I can see how well you've done with that so far." He jumped off his horse and lifted her out of the saddle.
Cal couldn't believe that she was unable to do anything, she was paralyzed. What the hell was wrong with her? She couldn't think straight around him and now that he was touching her she felt a tingly shutter go through her entire body, followed by her face turning beet red. This was a completely new sensation, a feeling that she never knew she was capable of. Was this…love?
"Come over here and let the water run over it." He took her hand and held it so that he could guide it into the stream.
"Something wrong?" Lu Bu sauntered up and Red Hare nickered. Was that little gray bastard moving in on his mare?
"General Quin..er… cough injured her arm while shielding me." Ma Chao touched her shoulder. "Keep it under the water while I go get some bandages. Ok?"
Cal could only nod. In addition to not being about to regain control of her motor functions, she was also speechless. She watched as he leapt on Lotus and galloped up to the road. Ares neighed seductively, probably and equine comment on the mare's ass.
Lu Bu dismounted and sat down next to her. He actually felt bad; he knew how this would turn out. "What are you doing?"
"I'm sticking my hand in the water, are you blind?" She looked away from him, knowing he wasn't as oblivious to her feelings as Ma Chao was.
"You're going to get hurt." He cautioned
"What do you care?" she snapped back.
"I don't." He shook his head, it was best for her to figure it out on her own. Like he did. She did know nothing would come of it even if he shared the same feelings, didn't she?
"He's just being nice and I'm just being flirty. Nothing wrong with that."
"Except you're in love with him." Lu Bu pointed out. "It's written all over your face."
"Nonsense."
"You're turning out to be a good officer, I don't want some stupid emotion ruining all my hard work." He watched Ma Chao return, picking his way back down to the stream.
She stood up and glared at him. "Don't accuse me of being weak."
"Just calling it as I see it."
"Get that arm back in the water!" Ma Chao shouted as he slid off Lotus. He got agitated that she was joined by two very attentive stallions.
Cal couldn't come up with a snappy comeback and she saw the look on Lu Bu's face. He was right, she couldn't handle her feelings. This stupid love shit was crippling her. In vain she tried to put a sentence together, but defeated just said, "Yes, sir."
Chao handed some wraps to Lu Bu, "If you wouldn't mind holding those for me." He fiddled with some ointment bottles. "I don't know if these work on people, but they do the trick when Lotus is hurt."
Cal caught Lu Bu's chuckle and she stared at the running water, trying to regain her composure. Chao reached in and took her hand again, placing it gently on his knee. Again there was that unmistakable tingle and she looked into Chao's eyes. He had no clue, this was something he would have done for any one of his soldiers and he would have shown more concern if he was attending to his mare. Maybe if she told him….then he rubbed some oily potent ointment on her wrist and she caught her breath. Again Lu Bu chuckled.
"If I may have that bandage, General?"
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"So the goal of this campaign is to capture Cheng Du?" Jiang Wei looked over the map, pushing his long hair behind his ears.
"Yes." Zhuge Liang looked at the young boy, who was concentrating heavily on the map. These last few weeks with the lad by his side made him feel better about himself. Ying was obviously miserable without her lover and it satisfied him even more to ignore her in favor of his apprentice. Jiang Wei was so dedicated to his studies, that he even ignored the attention of the local ladies. Quite a feat for a handsome teenager. Now he waited for the boy to come up with the same conclusion that he had, before Pang Tong got his jealous ass involved.
"But now there will be this huge territory to defend. I understand the need for land, a place to replenish and revitalize your troops, but now you are attached to it. The mobility of the army is limited."
"Very good!" Liang laughed. It was so nice to have someone on his side, the place Ying was supposed to be. Instead she was taking everyone's side but his.
Jiang Wei looked up as Zhuge Liang put his hand on his shoulder. "I am glad to see you happy Master Zhuge."
"Please, we are friends now. Call me Kongming."
"If you call me Buoyue."
"A deal."
"As friends, can I ask you something….personal?"
"Of course." Liang kept smiling. It would be nice to be able to confide in someone again.
"I couldn't help but notice that you and Yue Ying….are distant. Despite being husband and wife."
Liang let his smile fade. They were not that close yet, or were they. Could he be the one he could tell about his delicate problem? He had hoped Ying would understand, but instead she used it to her advantage. "Yes."
"I thought you were partners, yet she works against you most of the time." Jiang Wei was confused by them. How could a man's wife be more comfortable amongst the soldiers then with her husband?
"My wife has grown more distant because of….." he sighed, maybe it was time he got it off his chest. "Because I can't make her happy in the bedroom. She is driven by lust and I cannot satisfy her because I am unable to perform that way. A trade off apparently for my tremendous brain."
"Oh Kongming, I am sorry. How selfish she is to abandon you because of that!"
Liang suddenly felt better. That was right, she was selfish. "You are so kind, my friend. It has been so long that I have had to shoulder the guilt…but now I see that it is not my fault."
"Of course it isn't! She should be finding ways to make you happy, not herself."
"Ah, but I am a lost cause." Liang shrugged and looked back at the map.
"There are…..other ways to seek pleasure my lord." Jiang Wei let his hand run over Liang's. He felt a flutter and saw the hope in his teacher's eyes as well.
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"Ok, so Liu Bei will remain in this fort here, with Guan Ping in support." Pang Tang watched Guan Yu's oldest son beam with pride. This was an incredible assignment for someone of his age, but little did he realize that the other general's wouldn't be caught dead protecting their lord. Liu Bei was an excellent swordsman and archer; he could handle his own protection. They wanted to go out and kick some ass. "I'll take the pass here, and you, Sun Shang Xiang, will move out this pass closest to the castle."
"Are we going to hold position once we make it down the slope, to attack the castle full force?" She asked leaning over the map. It was her chance to shine.
"Yup! You get the prize." Tong tossed her a meat bun.
"Oh…I didn't know we were playing." Yun moaned, he was losing at everything this week. He felt a bit lost without Cal, she had become his closest friend now that Liu Bei had a wife again. There just wasn't anyone else he could talk to candidly anymore.
"Whine whine whine!" Tong poked him in the shoulder with his staff. "You get to attack across the river, since you lost the game."
"How is that bad?"
"There's snake fish in those waters lad!" Tong warned. "They're all over the place, quite slippery and smelly. Tough luck huh?"
"Grrr.." He hated snake fish. They were tasty but annoying. A fish that could get out of the water, crawl across land for days killing everything in sight and then move to a new body of water and multiply was bad enough. Then add the fact that you couldn't kill them, well that sucked too. The snake fish would take days to die once you stabbed them, it was ridiculous. Now they littered the battlefield, he could see them from here. Jumping across the dusty land, devouring frogs and birds, and stinking like dead fish. Uggggghhhh.
"Excuse…….me." Wei Yan stumbled across the war council on accident. But hell, if you were lucky….
"Hello." Liu Bei stood up, not knowing if this stranger was friend or foe. "I am Liu Bei, commander here. Can I help you?"
Shang leapt up, chakrams ready. "State your business!"
"Want…. To….. Join." Wei Yan explained and bowed.
Liu Bei walked around the table and looked at the man. He seemed honest. "Please, warrior, tell me your name."
"Wei Yan."
"You wish to join Shu?"
"Yes."
"Then you are welcome, please join us. You must be hungry." He watched the man look up happily. How many people had turned him away? He had heard of this man, he was a crazy fighter. He was also hard to control, but then again so was Sunny.
"Thank….you."
"You can sit next to me." Shang put away her weapons and watched him smile at her.
"Thank you ……angel."
Shang giggled as he kissed her hand.
"Oh…now I have competition! Blast!" Tong handed the new guy a plate of Empress Chicken.
"Lady…warrior….kind."
"Oh and complements too! I'll have to turn up the charm!" Tong rolled up the map. "How do you feel about snakefish, Wei Yan?"
"Yummy."
"Good, you get to help Zhao Yun."
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"Well while you're all here, we might as well review the map." Ma Dai rode up. "Unless I'm interrupting something?"
At least the cousin isn't as blind. "No, just bandaging up a fetlock…I mean wrist." Lu Bu smiled. It was obvious Ma Chao knew a lot about horses and simply transferred his knowledge to people, hoping it worked out as well.
"All done. Feel any better?" Chao looked at his work triumphantly. Now that was good bandaging.
"I've seen mummies with less complex wraps. "She mumbled remembering her brief trip to Egypt. "And the ointment is beginning to burn."
"Ah, just the liniment doing its job." Chao waved off her concern. "Let's look at that map, Dai."
"Here's the Luo Castle area. I believe that Liu Zhang will be bringing up reinforcements from here." He pointed to the northern most pass.
"I'll take them then." Lu Bu volunteered.
"Take the infantry; they'll be able to negotiate those narrow passes." Ma Chao looked up at Lu Bu who nodded his approval. "I suspect that Liu Bei will have taken this fort in the southeast, so that means they will push towards the castle from the mountain passes. If Liu Zhang knows they're coming he will set up ambush parties. He does love to take out the commanders before they can do any damage, I suspect he will try and snipe at them."
"Without a doubt. Those slopes are steep and very vulnerable to archer attack from the cliffs." Dai tried to remember the names of the slopes from his last visit there.
"This is really beginning to burn." Cal said fidgeting with her bandage
"Stop messing with it." Chao gently took her chin in his strong calloused hand. "Or else."
She whimpered and he obviously took it as submission on her part. Oh what incredible hands he has! How nice those would feel running all over her…
"This one is the fallen phoenix slope and this one…" Dai continued
"What? What did you call that?" Cal snapped out of her daydream and looked over at Dai who was startled by the urgency in her voice.
"The fallen phoenix slope." Dai repeated cautiously.
"Oh god, Tong. He's in danger." Cal looked to Lu Bu who didn't understand. "Don't you get it? They call him the young phoenix, it's an omen. He needs me!" She pushed past the men but was stopped by Ma Chao's arms.
"Easy! What are you talking about?"
"Pang Tong! He's in danger! Let go of me, I need to help him!"
"Cal, You need to remember you're not on your own right now. You are part of an army, and if you take off I'm not going to be able to approach Luo castle without Liu Bei taking me as an enemy!"
"Then get your ass in the saddle and let's go, Chao! You just got rid of the infantry, so that leaves the cavalry for you. Let's go." She pulled away from him, only to have him pull her back.
"You want me to charge into battle to protect one man, because you're superstitious?"
"It is kind of creepy, really." Dai had to admit. He rolled up his map as Lu Bu mounted up.
"Listen, you are welcome to do whatever you want. But I'm not going to let my friend be slaughtered." Cal was pissed.
"Fine, we'll go see if we can help this Doomed Phoenix of yours. I owe you that much." He let her go and looked to Lu Bu. "Take the infantry and meet us there. Ma Dai will accompany you."
"Fine, good luck." Lu Bu turned away to take command of the small regiment. He was genuine, he liked Pang Tong, the little sage was funny.
"Come on!" Cal was in the saddle and Ares was bouncing around, he knew there was something not quite right.
Chao jumped onto Lotus and galloped after her. "Men, we are needed at Luo Castle to support Liu Bei. I know that we were once allies with Liu Zhang, but times are changing. We must make decisions that benefit China, not just our province."
Cal pulled up beside him. "Riders of the Xiliang Cavalry, I beg of you to ride like you have never ridden before. Our presence is needed at Luo Castle immediately even though they may not be aware of it. I came to Tong Gate to assist you in repelling Cao Cao, even though I had no connections to the Xiliang province. Please, help me as I have helped you. These men we ride to assist are my family and I'm afraid they're going to be cut down like your Lord was. Are you with me?"
The men cheered, the little woman had fought her heart out at Tong Gate. To the point of almost loosing her head to Cao Cao. Besides, they were anxious for a fight.
Ma Chao smiled, it amazed him how the strangest people always made the most inspiring speeches. "XiLiang Cavalry, FORWARD!"
"At a GALLOP!" Cal added as she let Ares go. Tong, honey, I'm coming!
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"So you like these snake fish do you?" Zhao Yun asked his new comrade who had a burlap bag and was collecting them.
"Tasty."
"Yes, but." He stuck his tongue out. "They are eating the weirdest things. Don't they taste like the stuff they eat?"
"Pork….fish!" Wei Yan waved one of the death-defying amphibious carp at him.
"Ugggghhh." Yun shook his head. He actually liked the guy and couldn't help but think that Zhuge Liang would hate him.
Wei Yan threw two more in the sack by their tails. …for…you. You…like."
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Pang Tong rode at the head of his division, right leg over the pommel of his saddle, reading the map. "Who was the scout who wrote this?" Tong leaned down to Cao Rui, his bodyguard.
"I believe that would be Lu Kang, he's got awful penmanship. Writes like a degenerate." Rui looked back and saw the man he was talking about. "Kang, a word?"
"Sir?" The man looked up hoping to get a pat on the back for his scouting.
"Do you write with the pen in your mouth?" Tong asked the young man.
"No."
"I'm surprised he can even write." Rui added
"Boy, General Quinirius writes better and she can't write or read a word in Chinese. Why the hell does this say?" Tong showed him the scribe.
"Oh that's where we are right now!" Kang smiled.
"Wow, Kang you are good. That promotion is just around the corner." Rui shook his head, some of these people they made bodyguards just were worthless. He's rather lead a pack of wild prairie chickens into battle.
"What does it say?" Tong sighed.
"Oh, 'Fallen Phoenix Slope'."
"Well shit, that isn't good." Tong sat back up in the saddle and looked around him. A small pebble fell off the ridge and figures appeared. Then he looked ahead and about fifty archers blocked the road. "Run, Fluffy!" He jumped off the horse and raised his staff, but there was a sudden pain in his left shoulder…then another.
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"Forward!" Sun Shang Xiang was having the time of her life. Commander of her own division, tons of men to kill and no brothers by her side to 'protect' her. Those stupid boys were always getting in the way of her best moves. Suddenly archers were everywhere, what the hell was up with that? Oh well, they would just have to die. She launched into a musou and began to hack into them, not realizing she was burying herself in the enemy unit and allowing herself to be surrounded.
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Cal saw the arrows fly and Fluffy running back up the slope as the cavalry charged up the hill. She leaned in over Ares neck and plead, "Please, give me everything you have. Auxilii! (L.aid)"
Ma Chao watched the little horse edge away from him with a burst of speed. Lotus tried in vain to keep up, but she was tired from the ride and apparently was not as fast as the Arabian. "CHARGE!" He lifted his spear and rode into the battle.
"Get off of him you sons of bitches!" Cal dismounted her horse and landed next to Pang Tong who was lying on the ground. "You shall pay for this!" She stood by her friend and used her musou as Ma Chao rode up and cleared the archers with one sonic boom of his spear. His cavalry charged up the slope and Pang Tong's men climbed up the cliff to attack the archers.
Chao looked down at Cal as she tossed off the man's straw hat and dust mask. They were too late.
"Tong?" She looked over him and slapped his face a bit. "Come on baby, talk to me."
"Pst, phuch, ack." He spat, startling both warriors. "Ahhhhhh, not….another….pole arm."
Ma Chao narrowed his eyes as Cal smacked the man in the head. They are all odd.
"You bastard." She watched his eyes open and his mouth break into a smile. She ran her hand over his head, where there was a bit of blood. He must have taken a hit to the head and passed out. But there were still two arrows in his shoulder. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"
"You brought a friend….but what will Zhou Tai think?" He winked at her.
"We need to get you back to HQ, and have these wound looked at." She tried to sit him up, but Ma Chao stopped her.
"Let me." He lifted the smaller man up off the ground and held him in his arms. "Where to?"
"Up the pass, hand a right at the big rock, castle's up ahead two miles." Tong giggled, "My hero!"
"Ignore him." Cal said and touched Chao's arm in gratitude. She watched her handsome warrior swing into the saddle, without even being slightly put off by the small burden he now carried. "Ares!"
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"Are you still good friends with Zhang Bao?" Liu Bei asked the ever-so-close Guan Ping. Apparently the young Guan boy thought protecting the Shu lord meant being on top of him. Bei's bodyguards mumbled angrily as Guan Ping took their place.
"Yes, actually we are sworn brothers now. Like our fathers." Ping smiled, he was proud of his alliance with Fei's son. Even though Bao was usually in a whorehouse.
"If only Chan were a bit older." Bei smiled, but had to wonder. Liu Chan was not turning out as he hoped. The boy was growing up, he was now almost three years old, but he was so shy. Zhuge Liang had taken him on as a pupil, figuring the earlier the better. But deep down Liu Bei feared his son would turn out to be a horrible emperor…..it was just a feeling. And he felt guilty for feeling that He wished Sunny would stop being stubborn about children, he knew their child would be capable. But his wife was not ready for that, in fact, he feared she would never be ready.
"My lord, riders are coming. It looks like General Quinirius!" Ping smiled, he secretly had a crush on the woman. If his father knew….there would be hell to pay.
Liu Bei let his worries slip away as he saw the familiar gray horse and his owner. He smiled, but it was only briefly, he saw another rider. And he was carrying Pang Tong. Suddenly his heart fell.
"My lord!" Cal galloped up and she saw his face wracked with concern. "We arrived in time, but Tong just had to get shot a few times. You know how he is about attention."
Ma Chao rode up and frowned as the little cloaked man began to holler dramatically.
"ARG! BLKK! RRUR! Not….another….spear!"
Liu Bei cocked an eyebrow. "Glad you're alive Shiyuan." He couldn't help but smile. Then he noticed there was a new man. "You must be Lord Ma Chao."
Cough "ACK!" Tong shut up when Cal wrapped her hand around his mouth.
"Chao, this is our Lord Liu Bei. Bei, this is Lord Ma Chao." Cal smiled. Then suddenly flushed when she realized she got away with calling her love by his first name.
"Nice to meet you sir, I have heard volumes about you." Chao smiled as Cal yelped from Tong biting her hand.
"I can't believe you bit me! After all I did to get here in time to save your weird little concubine-stench ass." She looked at him, faking an appalled stare.
"You were late!" Tong stuck out his tongue.
"Can I put him somewhere?" Chao asked, realizing how odd he looked carrying around a 5'3" cloaked sage.
"My tent." Liu Bei moved Hex Mark past them and led the way to his accommodations.
"Ha! Now you sleep in their love-stained sheets!" Cal pushed his straw hat down on his head.
Chao couldn't help but smile, even though he didn't know any of these people that well. He could see how attached they all were to each other….he had made a good decision.
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"What is he doing here?" Zhuge Liang asked, politely. He had brought reinforcements, as planned, but he came across Wei Yan when he got here.
"He asked to join us." Zhao Yun shrugged, "And he's pretty good."
"Perhaps it is better to leave this until after the battle?" Yue Ying rode up and saw Wei Yan.
"Fine." Liang let it go. "Lure Zhang Ren out."
"Let me guess, pull back and taunt?" Zhao Yun sighed. It had been so nice without the pain in the ass here.
"Yes, of course. You are learning 'little dragon'" he smiled and looked back to Jiang Wei, "Let us go meet up with Lord Liu Bei."
"He is in a good mood, isn't he?" Yun asked Ying as she waved to Wei Yan.
"Yeah, he's been like that all day." Ying shrugged. She smiled when Huang Zhong gave Wei Yan a hug. Then she turned to Yun's welcome face.
"It's almost as if….." Yun caught Ying's glance. Together they said, "He got laid."
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"Don't pull my hair!"
"You're just here to look at me naked!"
"You flash me all the time, I've already seen you naked!"
"Oh, you just want to take advantage of me in my helpless state!"
"And I'm sure you'll accuse me of giving you an erection too!"
"That comes with the territory, baby!"
Chao waited outside the tent, laughing as the two yelled at each other. Liu Bei emerged and shook his head. "I take it he will be ok?"
"Yes." Liu Bei answered. "I'm sorry, they're always like this."
"It's fine, I'm glad we were in time." Chao turned as Cal came out.
"What are our orders sir? Lord Ma has a rather exhausted Cavalry unit parked outside the north gate. Shall we proceed down the slope that Pang Tong was heading down?"
"Why are you so serious all of a sudden?" Liu Bei scratched his chin.
"My favorite person approaches." She nodded to Zhuge Liang's appearance. "I want to go kill something."
"Where's Lu Bu?" Liu Bei looked to the two young officers.
"Attacking from a narrow pass up north, to wipe out enemy reinforcements. I gave him my Infantry regiment." Chao answered.
"He'll be here." Cal touched Liu Bei's shoulder. She knew he was skeptical. "Shall we attack?"
"Yes, Ma Chao can take command of Pang Tong's unit and leave his cavalry here, to rest. You, my dear, you better report to your commanding officer before she finds out your fighting with someone else."
"Where is she?"
"The pass north of the castle. Hurry if you actually want to get some fighting in." Liu Bei watched her ride off then informed the clueless Ma Chao, "My wife, Sun Shang Xiang. She is Cal's division commander, and I won't invoke my spouse's wrath over something like that."
"Understood."
"Zhuge Liang, you have been missed." Liu Bei offered his best phony smile. "You are just in time to meet Lord Ma Chao before he rides into battle for us."
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"Hey there sunshine!" Cal jumped off her horse and stuck the dismount perfectly, "I'm here!"
"About damned time." Shang pointed over at the castle. "They're getting ahead of us!"
"Who's the old guy and his furry friend?" Cal was surprised to see Yun had two new officers.
"Wei Yan's the cool one, I don't know who the old one is. Must have come back with Liang." Shang looked back at her men, they had finally regrouped.
"Tong got ambushed; he's hurt, but ok." Cal passed along the news.
"Well then let's seek vengeance!" Shang ran off into battle.
"Oh and I brought back a hot guy." Cal hollered after her, but she was out of earshot.
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"Hey Zhang Ren! Your mother's an epileptic whore!" Huang Zhong smirked, "How's that for a taunt?"
"Marry me!" Cal smiled; the old man was pretty cool. The six Shu officers sat outside Luo castle, behind a rock, chatting and waiting.
"Dirty….old…man." Wei Yan punched him playfully. "Wei…. Yan's….. angels."
"Sorry, you heard the man. I'm taken." Cal shrugged. She was humored by the fact that the new officers had instantly bonded with them because of an intense dislike of Zhuge Liang.
"Who's that?" Yun asked pointing to Ma Chao who had joined up with Lu Bu on the northern slope.
"Lu Bu." Cal dodged his swing. "Ma Chao. Isn't he gorgeous?"
"He's no Xuande." Shang smiled.
"Or Zhou Tai." Ying smiled dreamily.
"Well since you've taken him, let Cal have the new guy." Yun smiled, "She told us. It made us all so happy that old Kongming was getting the shaft that we helped her sneak off to see the lovestruck pirate. Ah, as you say, we're going to hell anyhow."
"Good….for….you!" Wei Yan patted Ying on the head.
"Yeah, whelp, nice call." Zhong gave her a thumbs up.
"So who doesn't know?" Cal asked.
"Let's see, that leaves Liu Bei and Zhang Fei. Although Liang doesn't know who it is." Ying was happy she didn't have to hide it anymore.
"Good thing you didn't tell Fei, he'd make a song about it." Shang shook her head.
"How dare you insult my mother!" Zhang Ren burst out of the gates. "Open all the gates! Charge!"
"Hey, we forgot to run away!" Yun looked over at Yue Ying.
"Well Taunt and stand around congregating is kind of close." She smirked.
"Last one to Liu Zhang is Kongming's bitch!" Huang Zhong charged, shooting arrows like a mad man.
"Let's get this bastard and get my man a kingdom!" Shang charged.
"Yes, ma'am." She hollered over the rock but turned and hugged Yun. "Need to talk to you later."
"Glad you're home."
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"Hello! Liu Zhang, we've come for you!" Shang looked around the corner of the house.
"Surrender or get your ass kicked by a pair of girls!" Cal turned the corner and spotted him. "Just the man we're looking for."
"How dare Liu Bei attack his own kin! His is a tyrant, just like Cao Cao!" Liu Zhang raised his sword.
"Oh no you did not just call my man a tyrant!" Shang let loose on Liu Zhang and Cal just stood and watched.
"Are you just going to watch?" Huang Zhong asked.
"I'm not getting in her way." Cal shrugged and watched as Liu Bei galloped up, followed by Lu Bu and Ma Chao.
"Shang! I can't let you have his blood on your hands!" Liu Bei dismounted and drew his sword.
"I'm not letting him get away with talking shit, either!" Shang tossed Liu Zhang in the air with her Chakrams, but Liu Bei was the one who drove the finishing blow into the man-midair.
"You…traitor." Zhang muttered as he died.
Liu Bei looked down at the man he just killed. "Results validate the deeds, right?"
Cal nodded sympathetically, "Sorry."
Zhuge Liang rode up, "Well what a nice castle. Let's move camp here."
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"So are you going to stay?" Cal looked up at Ma Chao and smiled happily.
"Yes, I do believe I am." He leaned up and scratched Lotus's ears.
"Pst." Ying called over Shang. "Look, someone fell in love at first sight."
"He is kind of cute." Shang agreed.
"Who? Are you gawking at someone else?" Liu Bei looked between the two women.
"Just Ma Chao." Shang answered.
"Just?" Liu Bei smiled as his wife turned and kissed him.
"You're all I ever want!"
"So what is it that is bothering you?" Zhao Yun wrapped his arm around his friend and she put her head into his shoulder.
"Later." Cal patted his arm.
Ma Chao looked around at all the happy Shu officers. Yeah, it was a good decision.