Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 21 . . .

Martha did not look back once she walked out of the police box. In her heart, she knew there was no point. He had finally gotten what he truly wanted and she was once again left on the outside looking in. The sad part was she was not surprised. No, she wasn't expecting Rose to pop up again but a part of her had been preparing for this moment. The letdown. The moment when he would find something or someone more interesting and she'd be relegated to her usual spot in his life. It still hurt but she was now schooled in not letting on as much. So as she waited for Jack to finish his chat with the Time Lord, Martha looked about the area they landed in and observed that the city didn't look any worse for the wear. At least her home planet remained intact if everything else in her life was again in flux. Eventually, her reflection was interrupted by the feel of Jack's arm encircling her shoulders once more she.

"You ready?" asked the dashing captain.

She simply nodded. So the pair began down the familiar road towards her home. Mickey, who'd hung back a moment longer to chat with the Doctor, eventually caught them up and the trio continued on, with he and Jack bantering back and forth all the way to her door. Though her heart truly wasn't in it, she offered to have both men in for a drink but it seemed the immortal man could sense her wariness and declined for the both of them. Mickey, undeterred, did manage to slyly slip her his number, before he and the immortal carried on and she gratefully closed the door and everything else out behind her.

Once securely inside her home, she leaned against the door for a lingering moment. She was home again yet it felt like anything but. No matter how many times she told herself this was where she belonged and even convinced herself for a bit that she was content with what her life had become, there was always a part of her that longed for the open spaces of the universe . . . something only the manic alien she had just left behind could offer her. But the reality she now faced told her that could not be.

She shifted her focus to the cozy flat she and Tom had shared until recently. It was no surprise to her that things were missing—the plasma telly, the stereo system—both items brought in by the man she was meant to marry. She perused her home and sensed the emptiness. Tom had come and gone and while it saddened her the way it ended, the fact that it had did not. Her heart simply was not with him. Unfortunately, she was unsure if she'd ever get it back from the one who had it.

She was finally able, in her solitude, to admit that she missed him already. Though it was only supposed to be a trial, Martha had decided just before the Daleks returned that she wanted to continue to travel with Donna and the Doctor. The rush, the camaraderie and the infinite amount of space still to see was too much of a draw not to mention the growing whatever she thought was happening between her and the Time Lord. Alas Rose Tyler happened and with her arrival the writing on the wall became crystal clear.

The buoyant young blonde bounded back on the scene and Martha knew she stood no chance. She did not consider it weakness to concede this but maturity. Why fight against something so determined to be? The universe had finally given the man who had given so much to it something he had longed for so long. So she would accept that the Doctor and Rose would ride off into the sunset together and she would place her focus on more earthly matters, such as her career and hopefully down the road someone she could adore as fiercely as he did Rose.

With a heavy sigh, Martha eventually pushed off the door and began to move further into her place. She was determined to push aside thoughts of him and organize the rest of her life. Her first order of business was to call UNIT tomorrow and let them know she was back in play. Work, as hectic as it often was, always allowed her a distraction and means of escape from the craziness of her personal life. She hoped this time would be no different. Her family would come after that. Martha knew her mum would be chomping at the bit to give her a sound 'I told you so' and Tish would want to know everything that happened while she was gone. She would give herself the night, though, to unwind and decompress without others interfering. So with a set resolve she decided to treat herself to a nice long bubble bath.

"Figures!" Martha ranted as she slipped from her sudsy retreat.

She had only just lounged back in her bath when the bell began to go off. As she haphazardly dried herself with a towel and quickly slipped into her dressing gown, she bemoaned the interloper. She couldn't imagine who it could be since no one knew she was home yet. She had just hit the steps when another buzz caused her to yell out, "Oi! I heard you!"

She eventually made it to her door and swung it opened prepared to lay into whoever was riding her bell only to be stunned into silence when a grinning Doctor stood on her doorstep.

"Doctor? What are you doing here?" she asked incredulously.

He raised an eyebrow as he lightly touched the collar of her gown, "Am I interrupting something?"

She eyed him momentarily, glancing behind him for good measure, expecting him to have company, before retorting, "Yeah, my bath."

"Why wouldn't you wait until we were back aboard the TARDIS before doing that?" he asked bemusedly.

Martha's look of surprise instantly turned to one of irritation, "And why would I be going back to the TARDIS?"

His face betrayed his own confusion, "I thought . . . I mean things were good. I mean before the Daleks invasion but . . . I guess I figured you were leaning towards staying on."

Martha sighed and shook her head. Just when she thought he had started to get past his obliviousness.

"Doctor . . . it just won't work."

"What won't? What's changed?" he pressed.

In exasperation she said, "I would think it's obvious. I have no desire to hang around to watch you and Rose pick up where you left off. You don't need me there . . . not anymore."

Her words struck him like a brick. It was their relationship in a nutshell. Donna had been right. He had pushed her away so much, nursing his memory of Rose, that Martha now refused to believe that anything but his former companion would assuage him. She honestly believed that he only wanted her around when what he really wanted wasn't available. Could he have truly been that callous towards her? Unfortunately, he knew the answer was yes. From the first instance she stepped into his ship, he allowed his hurt and sadness to make her believe that she was just a warm body—a place holder. He had much to make up for, he knew, and that it had to start somewhere.

Inhaling sharply, the Doctor firmly stated, "That's not true."

She held him in a skeptical gaze which prompted him to persist, "May I come in and explain?"

Martha held his gaze for a long moment as though trying to read his motives. Finally, she stepped back and allowed him entry. He took a moment to look around before placing his focus back on the discouraged woman before him.

"Martha."

Her gaze was lowered initially. She was already feeling the fool for her earlier words. She sounded just like a jealous, jilted school girl. The last thing she wanted or needed from him was pity. She received plenty of that on her first tour with him. Forever etched in her mind were the numerous times he had brushed aside her feelings and looked upon her with regret and sympathy about those feelings. She would not allow herself to again become that star struck girl she was when they first met. He had made a choice and she would accept it and move forward.

The Doctor, though, was insistent. His next move was to lightly touch a finger to her chin forcing her to look up at him, "Martha, I need you to understand. I do need you . . . I think I always have."

He paused, taking in her continuing look of skepticism at his words, and sighed inwardly seeing the work before him.

"I know I haven't shown it much over our time together but over time I have come to realized that it was that need that initially caused me to push you away. I needed you when I first lost Rose to help me move forward. I hated it then that I did because I simply wasn't ready to let go of her but with you there it felt like I was being forced to. But as you and I journeyed on together the need to have you with me morphed into something more primal . . . a simple need to have you— your brilliant mind, energy and compassion— near. That need scared me on so many different levels. I had become used to depending on me. First as a bit of a rouge when my people existed and later being the last of my kind did not afford me the luxury of anything else. Even with the numerous companions I have had at the end of the day I felt like I was all I had.

Then I met Rose and she gave me a hope of having someone again. I hadn't felt that since the loss of my people. I came to depend on her light and exuberance and then one day, just like Gallifrey, it was suddenly taken away and I was again on my own. And then you Martha Jones came along and you were brilliant and energetic and eager and I could not resist but the longer we spent together, the stronger that familiar need became. I pushed you away not because I didn't care but because the last time I believed I needed someone with me, I lost them and the reality that because of who you were and were training to become I would most likely lose you too forced me to try and keep my distance."

There was another pause as he attempted to let his words sink in. For her part, Martha was having an inner struggle. Here he was laying his hearts bare to her and she wanted so desperately to believe him, to believe that his indifference had not been because she could never measure up but because of fear but a tiny voice in her head kept reminding her of all the times she had gotten her hopes up about something more with him only to have them dashed cruelly.

She could understand fear. She experienced more than her fair share during the Year yet a number of his actions when they first traveled together were just so blatantly hurtful and damaging, Martha was just as unsure if she could trust his words now. As his deep brown eyes probed hers, probably hoping for some relent, she found herself unable to give him what she thought he wanted. Her silence stung but his resolve did not weaken as he brought his thumb up to join his forefinger on her face.

As the digit gently began to caress the soft skin of her cheek, carried on, "I have learned that was a mistake. I should have been brave enough to embrace you for who you were. And just when I found myself ready to do just that, you were walking away. I've been a daft old fool, hanging on to a memory. I care for Rose, I do, but with you, Martha, I feel like I found my other half. You understand how important what I'm doing is but you keep me grounded. You're not overly impressed with my "Last of the Time Lords" status yet you respect how significant my work is.

And most importantly, you care about me in spite of me. Even when I didn't deserve it you were there for me, protecting and fighting for me. You are the reality, Martha Jones. The reality I want with me now and for as long as I can have you. I refuse to believe that it is too late. So you need to understand that I'm not leaving here without you. I can't."

"What if I refuse to allow myself to believe?" she shakily, finally, responded.

His brow furrowed, "Believe what? That I care? That I want you with me?"

Martha maintained a steely glance, "Any of it! So many times I hoped from something more from you, Doctor, only to have that hoped dashed by your casual disregard for my feelings. Why should I believe things are different this time? You've admitted that Rose still matters to you. What's to say one day you won't decide she's what you really want and cast me aside once more? Or maybe someone more fascinating comes along and where would that leave me? Everything you've said tonight are things I've longed to hear from you but now, after all we've been through, I just don't know that I can trust it. Why should I trust it?"

"You're right. You have every reason to reject my words. To my eternal shame, I was callous and cruel to you back then. The only answer I can give is that you know me— better than most—which means you know just how difficult it is for me to admit these things to you. All I can do is ask you to have faith in me one more time and believe that I would not being saying this to you unless I was sincere."

Martha studied him. The earnestness in his gaze coupled with the firmness in his words was slowly melting her resolve.

"And Rose?"

The Doctor gave her a small, patient smile, "Rose is no longer an issue. Yes, I do still care for her and probably always will but our time passed long before she returned. It was good to see her again and to gain closure we both needed but I made her understand that I had already moved forward and that she needed to do the same. She's now safely back in the parallel world with her family and the other Doctor. That is where she belongs now and here is where I do."

Martha's mind was reeling from that tidbit. He let Rose go, sending her back with her family. Her mind instantly began to whirl with the possibilities of what this might mean but she was still afraid to hope.

"So what does all of this mean, Doctor?"

"That my hearts reside somewhere else now," he replied simply as his other hand cupped her opposite cheek.

Her face warmed in his hands and for an instant she thought to turn away and deny what she was hearing but before she could even truly consider that option, the Time Lord moved his lips closer to hers and ultimately pressed them to hers. The kiss began softly, like a gentle caress, trying to reassure her that this was real but steadily he added more pressure and movement to the exchange coaxing her into following his lead. Her hands eventually slid up his chest and ultimately came to rest on the lapel of his suit jacket. Soon their lips were parting and tongues tentatively touched for a lingering moment before slowly, achingly so, the interlude ended with Martha breathless and speechless and the Doctor searching, as always, with his penetrating gaze.

Finally, after apparently seeing what he needed, he allowed his forehead to rest against hers as he passionately concluded, "You, Martha Jones, are what I need now—an anchor, a friend . . . a lover all in one. I can't promise you it will be easy or that I won't falter at times but I can promise you I will try to never make you regret giving me another chance."

Her eyes had been closed through his whole declaration but when his words ended, her deep brown gaze found his own once again.

"Is this real? Really real?" she breathlessly questioned.

He gave her, what he hoped was, a reassuring smile as he gently replied, "Very."

Martha, while still holding his gaze pulled one of his hands away from her face and brought it to the left side of her chest right over her beating heart before she solemnly stated, "I'm trusting you with this, Doctor."

"And you have my word I will take much better care of it this time," he replied equally as sincere.

His response finally garnered a smile from the petite beauty causing his own to blossom. They stood like this for a long moment before Martha rather coyly began to tug at her robe.

"In that case, I suppose I should change and pack a few things," she softly returned.

His smile widened, "I'll be here."

She slightly lifted up on her toes and placed another soft peck on his lips before turning and making her way back up the stairs.

A short time later, the pair walked back up her street hand in hand headed towards his transport. Neither had said much since she came back down with a larger bag. It wasn't until they were in front of his ship, that the Doctor stopped her and intensely gazed once more into her eyes.

"Are you sure about this, Martha? I know I said I wouldn't leave without you but I also don't want you to feel as though you are being coerced."

She took a moment to gaze around at her neighborhood. She knew she was leaving a lot behind—family, friends, a career—but even as she contemplated all of this she knew, in her heart of hearts, her decision had long since been made. For better or for worse, she belonged at his side. Her gaze met his probing one again.

"You have always given a choice, Doctor, and right now, at this moment, I choose you and this life."

She paused and framed his face in her soft hands as she intensely replied, "Everything I have ever wanted is right here. I have never been surer of anything in my life."

A smile of relief graced his face as he reached out and pulled her into his arms. Tenderly, he placed a soft kiss on her nose, then each of her cheeks before one more lingering on upon her lips. When he broke away he quietly said, "Then let's be on our way."

She gave him a breathtaking smile before nodding and allowing him to release her and open the door. He guided her inside and immediately his demeanor shifted. Martha, too, became aware of the sense of foreboding. Something was definitely off in the TARDIS. It was just as that thought filtered through her mind that she abruptly asked, "Where's Donna?"

No sooner were the words out of her mouth, the pair heard a quite whimper from near the console and both instantly went towards it finding their friend crouched down beside the jump seat cradling her head. Martha quickly dropped to her knees and began to question her like a patient, "Donna, what is it? What's wrong?"

The redhead was obviously in a tremendous amount of pain as she rocked back and forth and tears glistened on her cheeks. The young MD prepared to ask again when the Doctor responded for her, "It's a meta crisis. It happens when a human mind attempts to access Time Lord knowledge."

She looked up at her mate and asked, "What does that mean? What will it do?"

"It means if I don't do something, her mind will eventually burn up and she will die."

Martha gasped in horror as their friend continued wallow in pain.