The next few days were a blur. The baby's homecoming was marred by the death of Ellis, and between funeral arrangements, diaper changes, sleep depravity, packing to move to the new house, and Katherine's constant need for attention, Meredith was sinking into a deeper and deeper depression with every passing day.
Derek came home from work, and as soon as he walked through the door, Katie grasped hold of his leg, begging to be picked up. He picked her up and snuggled her for a second and noticed that she had been crying. "What's wrong baby?"
"Bubbles is crying and mama can't make him stop. I went up to talk to her and she yelled at me." Katie sniffled.
"Here sweetheart, you go sit on the couch and daddy will be down soon. Wipe those tears and we'll have a fun game of Candyland when I come back, ok?" Derek said.
"Ok, daddy, that sounds good." Katie said with a half smile, wiping her eyes with her hand.
Derek climbed the stairs, and he could already hear Jack crying from the end of the hallway. He walked to the bedroom and slowly opened the door and sees Jack, alone in his bassinet screaming on top of his lungs. His little face red with frustration. Meredith was lying on the bed on her side, staring at the wall, her eyes wide open and bloodshot, singing to herself, with tears running down her face as she rocked back and forth.
Derek picked Jack up and tried to calm him. He rocked him gently and carried him over to Meredith. He sat on the side of the bed and cradled Jack with one arm and touched Meredith's arm with his other hand. All the while saying soothing things to him. Jack's cries slow to little hiccups as he was soothed by the sound of Derek's voice.
"Meredith?" Derek said softly. "Meredith, sweetheart." Derek said in almost a whisper, holding her hand.
"What?" Meredith yelled, giving him an angry look. Not realizing how loud she was, instantly causing Jack to cry once more. She turned her head back toward the wall, and continued to cry.
Derek stood up and rocked Jack again, until he finally falls back to sleep. He set him in his bassinet and covered the bassinet with a blanket. He moved over to the bed and stood in front of Meredith. He didn't say anything, but gently picked her up in his arms and sat down with her in his lap. Gently, he rocked her, running his hands through her hair to soothe her, just as he had their newborn son. She snuggled into his chest, wiping the tears in her eyes on his shirt as she fell asleep almost immediately. h
Days went by and Meredith was feeling a little better, though she did have her moments of depression. Everything seemed to be getting better. Several weeks after the first incident, Derek came home to a quiet house. He thought something seemed off, Meredith's car was in the driveway, but the lights were off in the house. He slowly walked upstairs to the bedroom. The door was slightly open, Derek stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was that Meredith was lying in the bed, curled in the fetal position, sound asleep. He turned to the bassinet to check on Jack and he immediately began to panic.
"Meredith? Meredith!" Derek screamed.
"Wha? What? Why are you yelling at me?" Meredith groaned, lifting her head up, and then plopping it back down on the pillow.
"Where is the baby Meredith?"
"What do you mean? He's right over there in his… Derek…. Where is the baby?"
Derek and Meredith ran from the room, frantic. Meredith ran quickly downstairs while Derek began checking the rooms upstairs. He finally made his way to Katie's room, her little bedside table light was on and she was laying on the bed on her back, Jack was cuddled in his stroller beside her, awake and cooing. She was gently flipping through her 'daddy book' telling him all of the stories that were inside.
"Meredith, I found him." Derek called down, only to hear Meredith's feet running across the floor downstairs.
"Daddy!" Katie said excited.
"Katie. How did Jack get in here?" Derek asked calmly, as to not alarm her, or make her upset.
"He was getting fussy and mama was sleeping, so I took him for a walk around the upstairs. He wanted to read about you." Katie said smiling.
Suddenly, Meredith came running down the hallway, with Buster on her heels.
"Katherine Elisabeth! What on earth were you thinking? I told you not to pick him up!" Meredith screamed, her eyes filled with tears, her voice filled with anger. She stood there for a moment, wanting to yell more, until she saw Katie's lip start to quiver, and little pools of tears welling up in her eyes. Jack began to cry in his stroller. In almost a whisper she said. "I just can't take it anymore." She turned and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could.
"Katie, stay right there. Daddy will be right back." Derek said, before turning and running after Meredith.
Before he could get to her, Meredith was already in the car, peeling out of the driveway.
Derek walked up the stairs defeated. He entered Katie's room, where Katie had picked up her 'daddy book' and continued to read it to Jack. Jack lay in his stroller, considerably calmed after the screaming that Meredith had startled him with. Derek gently lifted Jack from his stroller and cradled him in his arms as he sat at the foot of Katie's bed. Katie continued to lie on her back and hold the book up in front of her face and talk about the postcards.
"Katie." Derek said softly. Katie continued talking, as if looking at the postcards and talking about them would bring Meredith back and make her not so angry.
She read them with such determination, Derek knew exactly what she was doing. "Katherine." Derek said again, a little louder.
Katie held the book up a little higher and talked a little louder. Derek sat there for several seconds, waiting for her to acknowledge him.
After about two more pages of talking, she stopped. She just sat there with the book up in front of her face, silent. "Daddy." Derek heard the smallest voice come out from behind the book.
"Yes, Katie-bug."
"Is mommy mad at you?" Katie asked, her face still hidden by the book.
"I don't think she is, sweetheart."
"Is mommy mad at Jack?" Katie asked, still not moving.
"No sweetheart, mommy isn't mad at Jack." Derek said softly.
"Daddy." Katie whispered.
"Yes sweetheart?" Derek replied.
She gently closed the book and set it beside her on the bed. She sat up next to her pillow and looked Derek straight in the eyes. Her piercing blue eyes staring straight into his soul.
"Mommy never yelled at me like that before you came home, before Jack was here." Katie stared at Derek for a full minute before she broke her father's gaze and gently climbed off the bed. She grabbed her fuzzy brown dog and ran down to Meredith's room. She climbed up onto Meredith's bed, onto her 'sleep spot', snuggled into the blankets and began to cry.
Derek's heart was crushed.
He was speechless, he had never felt so hurt in his entire life. This was the exact reason that he had left in the first place. Wherever he was, there was hurt, and now his own daughter resented him. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to just leave and let them go on with their lives the way that they had been before he had shown up at their door.
With that in mind he picked up the phone and dialed. "Hey, it's Derek. Can you do me a favor and come over to watch Katie for a little while? Thanks, I'll see you in ten minutes."
Derek carried Jack into the bedroom and set him in his car seat carrier and set it on the ground. He moved over to the bed and bent over Katie. "Katie. Daddy is sorry. He loves you very much." He reached out to touch her face, only to be swatted away by her little hand. "Katie, daddy has to go somewhere for a little while, you be a good girl. I love you." Derek said softly, attempting again to give her a kiss, only to be swatted away again.
The doorbell rang downstairs and Derek picked up Jack in his carrier, and his diaper bag and walked to the door, he took one more glance back to Katie on the bed and put his head down as he closed the bedroom door behind him and walked downstairs. He opened the door and let the sitter in and thanked her for watching Katie. Taking Jack's seat in his arms, Derek sadly and quietly left the house.