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Family Business

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He had not tried to kiss her while they talked to Deborah and Simon after Barbara had shot him one of her Don't-you-dare-Sir! death glares again though he definitely had wanted to show his friends clearly what was going on. As if they would not have noticed his right arm around her shoulder. As if they would not have sen her left hand on his left waist. As if they would not have recognised that no thin sheet of paper would have been squeezed between them.

Barbara had learned that she will meet them again on Tommy's birthday barbecue in the afternoon but they won't stay at Howenstow tonight. It reminded her of asking Tommy to clear with Hillier that she would spend at least one more day away from the office. When they had said goodbye and walked a bit further away from Simon's car Tommy felt safe enough to steal another little kiss from Barbara without much objection.

Fastening his seat belt Simon grinned at his wife. " 't was time, don't you think?" Of course he had seen it. And of course he had seen how close they stood. That was more proximity than just good friends would have.

"Yes." Deborah agreed with a smile. "But I think this is very fresh. So you better not tease them, Simon, just this once!"

The family had just finished brunch when Tommy and Barbara arrived at Howenstow. Straight after they got out of the car Tommy put his arm around her shoulders again. He wanted everybody and especially his family to see that she's his.

No. He corrected himself. He wanted everybody to see that they belong together now.

"As of late you're a bit possessive, Sir." Barbara whispered and nudged him with her elbow. In fact and despite her embarrassement and also despite her request to take things slowly she truly loved being hugged by him in that protectively possessive way but she just did not know how to express that properly. It probably was her long time defensive habit. Well, when they would be back at the Met this had to stop anyway. Only as long as they were in Cornwall and among his family everything just felt fine. Take what you get, she thought.

Tommy's mother immediately came into the hall and greeted her son.

"Happy birthday, Tommy! Where have you been tonight?" She smiled at both. She did not really expect an answer because of course she knew of Emerald Cottage and imagined where they obviously had spent the night although she might have pictured it just a little bit wrong. Barbara made a mental note to remind him that he had to tell his mother the truth about the previous night's events some day, but not necessarily now of course. "Ah, well, you both look a lot as if you've stayed in the rain for a little while too long. Chop-chop, up with you under the shower and into clean things. First guests might arrive soon. Don't take too long up there." With an unexpected suggestive wink she turned and payed attention to the arriving service men with the big charcoal grill.

Upstairs they both seperately took a shower and changed into fresh clothes. After a quick bite in the back kitchen, taken in comfortably intimate togetherness, they heard Peter and Andrea coming back from the stables and rumbling down the corridor. When Peter opened the door Barbara already had cleared the table and given Tommy a quick kiss.

"You have to talk, Sir." She whispered.

Peter and Andrea wished Tommy well for the next 365 days and were about to leave again. After all the air between the two brothers still was tensed.

Since Tommy had made no attempt to hold back his brother and much less to have a word with him Barbara got up from her chair. If they won't clear it soon it all would stay like it was. She decided that she had to do something.

"Right. Peter, Tommy!" she addressed them. When she was sure that she had their attention she went on. "You two have to have a word. Now! I'm so bloody sick of you brooding about it, Tommy, and yes, Peter, you stay! I'm also bloody sick of your sulking verbal stingers against your brother. You both have to clear that out. Right now." She asked Andrea, who had nodded affirmative at her words, to leave the kitchen with her. In the doorway she turned and stared at the Asherton boys looking at each other with their so much resembling dark angry and fearful eyes.

"And I don't want any of you to come out of this room before you haven't talked it through. I'm so sick of it."

"Thank you." Andrea smiled after Barbara had closed the kitchen door. "I've pondered about how to tell him this for a while now. I hope it works."

"So do I." Barbara sighed. "Everything else would be a catastrophe!" She dearly hoped that her intervention had not made it worse or that the brothers would be mad at her about it. What a bad thing for a birthday. But well, any time would be a bad timing for such a heart-to-heart talk.

Leaving into the direction of the music room Barbara saw Judith disappearing into the library with a big grin.

Barbara continued reading the book she had started yesterday and listened through the open door of the music room. She could not really concentrate on the words of the novel, she was just eager to know what happened in the kitchen. First there was nothing to be heard. Then the men obviously had started to talk. She could not hear single words but the voices grew louder. Eventually the brothers were shouting at each other.

"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you?" Peter shouted. "Get lost, bloody prick!"

The door was opened a crack but slammed close again immediately. Tommy shouted back.

"You stay here! We're not yet finished!"

Barbara almost feared they would hurt each other but luckily they just yelled. After a while the shouted accusations and justifications ebbed. Eventually the sounds of the kettle could be heard and the conversation seemed to continue on a much more civilised volume level with a cup of tea.

You can solve everything with a proper cuppa. Barbara thought sighing.

When Tommy finally came into the music room after about half an hour he had eyes red from crying but looked more calm, looked as if a great weight was taken off his soul.

"Thank you, Barbara." he said low and knelt down in front of the settee where she had laid down to read. He brushed one of the unruly strands of hair out of her face and gave her a kiss. Resting his chin on his hand he exchanged a long pensive look with Barbara. "Do you mind if I'm going to the stables without you before the barbecue starts?"

"Yes. If you're going to sulk or wallow or brood I-"

"I promise I won't. Besides I have an appointment with Peter in the stable's office."

"Then off you go."

"I love you." he smiled.

"I-" Barbara stopped mid-sentence and diverted her eyes.

"Say it." Tommy whispered. His voice was choked, he wanted her so much to say it again, he needed to hear it from her lips once more. "Please!"

Barbara looked back in his eyes and involuntarily nodded. She actually loved him like she had said before. It had been easier than she ever would have thought and in fact it was the truth. "I love you too, Tommy."

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say it." They shared a sensual kiss after which he placed his forehead on hers and went on with closed eyes telling her that he always had missed something in his life. Something he could not have named but had missed even throughout his marriage with Helen. Something that would calm him. Something of which he only recently had learned that it was Barbara. Tommy told her that he had discovered that she was able to give it to him when he still was married and he first had not realised it and then just had not had the nerves to admit it to himself, to admit it to Helen, to admit it to Barbara. He admitted now, that he had loved her for quite some time but had not been able to declare it. He had been afraid of loosing their friendship, afraid of ruining everything, afraid of her rejection. And he was so sorry for his jealousy.

"Even though I had no rights on you I hated every man that was a possible someone for you. I disliked every flirt you received. Eventually I had learned that the angry feeling I've had was jealousy. I wanted to be the one you flirt with. I wanted to be the one you date. Not just a drink after work, not just lunch or dinner. I wanted to go out with you and come home with you. I wanted to spend day and night with you."

Barbara sobbed. She felt some tears dropping onto her face when Tommy went on telling her that though it was without purpose, though it probably was without intention she always had been his life buoy, his rock, his anchor, his connection to the earth. She always had reminded him of normal life, kept him grounded, never cared for his title and peerage.

"Well, except to emphasise some social class issues that is."

Still silently crying Barbara could not suppress a chuckle under his kissing lips.

Tommy told her that later he had become accustomed to her prickly nature, he had gotten used to her reluctant but straight-away character, her ironic comments. He had learned to love them because it was her way of coping with life's issues. He had even started to miss them when she was not in the mood, when she was not around. He had started to miss her when she was not around.

"Though I had not been able to name it in the beginning I've already loved you. I have for quite some time."

"Tommy, I have loved you for years." Barbara sobbed again. Then she confessed that she also had been jealous. Jealous of every woman he had dated after Helen. Even jealous of him with Helen, in fact she had been jealous in the instant she had left them kissing for their first time at the front wall of the police station, when Barbara was going home alone. Later she envied the love between them until she had found out that she envied Helen for having Tommy in her life. Much later she had hated herself for being in love with her DI and unable to have a relationship with someone else.

"It was my fault." Tommy said.

"No!" Barbara whispered.

"Yes. I've always kept you close to me and never had given you space and time to do what you want. All those evenings when I bored you with my problems at the pub-"

"You never bored me."

"...when I kept you from sleeping when I dropped by in the middle of the night-"

"You just needed someone. I wanted to give it, Tommy. Even if I never would have you I wanted to savour every single second with you. Of course I was there for you at any time of the day. I wanted to be around you even if it was just for a pint after work, even if it was just for listening to your problems, even if I knew that you never would see me as a woman, that I always would be your sidekick, I always-"

"Don't hide your light under a bushel! And I've very much noticed that you're a woman for a long while now and at least since you wore that dress at my sister's birthday party two years ago. Oh, wow, you wouldn't believe what sort of inappropriate thoughts I had."

His hand wandered unintended onto her belly while they exchanged a tender kiss. "And you've never been just a sidekick, Barbara. You've always been my partner. You're just no DI yourself because I didn't want to lose you. That's why I've never forced you to make that exam."

"I never have wanted to become a DI since I knew you, especially since I have fallen in love with you." Barbara sobbed. "I wanted to stay near you, as your partner. Becoming a DI would have meant being seperated from you. I didn't want that. I don't want that."

"I would love to have you staying next to my side me forever, Barbara. As my partner." Tommy bent over and gave Barbara another long kiss.

Was this a proposal? Tommy asked himself. Hell, yes, obviously it was. Go, ask her, Tommy!

If this was a proposal then the answer is yes! Barbara thought. Gosh, no, you're delirious, Barbara! You're talking of work!

"I would love that." she breathed.

He did not ask. He could not. It was definitely too soon.

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