Half a candle later I was screaming myself awake, Ser Pounce-A-Lot mewling in distress as he leaped to my side from where he'd been curled on the warm stones of the hearth. No use trying to sleep then; perhaps dinner would help.
I cracked open my door and peered into the hallway, half expecting Alison to be keeping a vigil outside my room, but the corridor was clear so I eased my way out the door and crept past the main kitchens and toward the back pantry where the servants kept the leftover food stocks. I hadn't eaten a proper meal in days and I knew I should just wait for dinner, but I had no desire to see any of my fellow Wardens before I left. Sharing one last meal any of them would make it that much harder for me to leave.
As I neared the pantry door I heard the murmur of voices. One light and feminine and one low and seductive with an unmistakable gravel. Fantastic. So much for not sharing my last meal. I turned to head back to my room, but my stomach gave a rumble and a heavy lurch in protest. I needed food; even more so if I was planning on spending the next few days on the run. Who knew when my next real meal would come?
I started to ease the door open, but it was flung open from within and I jumped backward, pulling the door toward myself as I pressed my back against the wall. Nathaniel stepped into the hallway followed by a tiny figure with straw blonde hair pulled back into a neat bun.
"I admit that I may have misjudged you a little," Velanna said as she followed Nathaniel into the corridor.
"Just a little?" I could hear the flirtatious smile in his voice. Bastard. What was he doing hiding himself away in a back room with another woman?
"I . . . " Velanna started. "Forgive me, but I sometimes paint all humans with the same brush."
"As long as it's such a pretty brush, my lady, I don't mind in the least. All is forgiven."
"Well then. Good." Velanna started to walk away, then stopped short. "I . . . When you speak of this pretty brush, do you . . . you can't possibly mean me?"
Nathaniel gave a low, rumbling chuckle, the sound shooting straight to my groin despite the appalling behavior that was on display here. Velanna was striking, yes, but her beauty was nothing compared to Josephine's. How could this bastard stand here and say these words to Velanna when he had the most beautiful girl in the world upstairs at his disposal? Nathaniel, it seemed, was a far worse human being than I'd given him credit for.
"This can't be the first time someone's said you're pretty," Nathaniel said.
"And if it is?"
"Then you must not talk to many people, my lady."
"Indeed. I find that most people aren't worth talking to. You, it seems, are an exception. If you'll excuse me." Velanna continued down the hallway and Nathaniel's footsteps carried him away after her. When the corridor was clear, I stepped out from behind the door and made my way into the kitchen, but I found my appetite had vanished. I gathered a sack full of bread, dried fruits and meats, several varieties of nuts, and a small wheel of hard cheese and made my way back into my room.
When I had deposited my rations in my pack, I lay on the bed again and waited for darkness. This time, however, it wasn't the darkspawn that invaded my mind, but thoughts of Nathaniel Howe. The echoes of the sensual flirtations in his voice as he'd spoken to Velanna; paid her complements. She was a mage and an elf and he'd called her pretty and showered her with platitudes. Whenever I flirted with anyone he fixed me with a look of disgust that could sour milk straight from the cow, but somehow those standards didn't apply to him. I had nothing, no one in this world who cared one way or the other whether I lived or died, and I wasn't allowed even a sideways glance or a spare comment about wanting someone to share my bed. He had everything—the most beautiful, kind, wonderful, charming woman I'd ever met, the promise of a family, the return of his blighted estate and the admiration of the Amaranthine people—and that wasn't enough for him. It seemed Nathaniel Howe was no better than the rest of the greedy, intolerant nobles that ran this country. Mock and scorn and enslave and lock away anyone you deem a lesser being . . . unless of course you find a better use for them.
I bolted from my bed and pulled my robes tighter around me. I was my own man, dammit, and soon I would be a free man. Who was he to dictate what I could or couldn't do? Who was he to tell me how to live my life? I would smile at whomever I want and take my pleasures wherever I could find them, blighted Ferelden nobility be damned. It was time to put my plan into action.
As I made my way toward the soldier's barracks on the far end of the Vigil's Keep estate, I was pleased to see Nathaniel in the yard instructing some of the men. Good. The memory of his look of disgust and derision on his face would make it even easier to slip away into the Amaranthine blackness and never look back.
I scanned the yard, seeking out the dark-haired young private with the sparkling blue eyes that I'd shared a bath with in the soldiers' barracks before the Wardens had left for the Wending Wood. Matthias. Son of an aging farmer from the northeastern reaches of the Arling, he'd arrived at the keep just days before the darkspawn attack. He'd joined the army in the hopes of providing for his family, whose farm was struggling after the blight had poisoned most of their fields and the warring nobility had set the rest of them to the torch. He'd been one of the few soldiers who had volunteered to train with me during our week of respite. Not many men would seek out that task. I'd invited him to my quarters after our last night of training, but he'd declined my offer. This time, I planned on convincing him to change his mind. Strong, calloused hands caressing my fresh scrubbed skin and rippling muscles under my fingers were just the sort of diversion I needed.
I waved in his direction as I approached and the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile. "Hello again. It's Matthias, right? I wondered if you'd given any more thought to what I asked you before I left. If you'd like to . . . help me out a bit more. I learned a great deal from our sparring sessions a week ago, but there's so much more we could learn from one another." I gave a wink and my most seductive smile, hoping that he'd get my point without me having to proposition him in front of his fellow soldiers.
"Kind of you to ask, Master Anders. I dare say that's just about all I thought about while you were away. Sadly, I've been posted to guard duty here for another half a candle, and then, well, I'd like to . . . ah . . . freshen up a bit before—"
"Sweet of you, but there's no need. I imagine we'll be engaged quite heavily in our activities and will probably work up quite a sweat in the process. No sense you bathing twice, right? Tell you what, you can join me for a good scrub in the Warden's baths once we're finished."
He smiled, his eyes wide. "As you say, Master Anders. Where shall I find you?"
"I believe I will retire to my chambers for a while. Please come find me there when you are ready for our session." I gave him a small wave and started back toward the keep. As I turned, I found myself face–to–face with Nathaniel Howe.
"Kindly stop distracting my men while they are on duty, Mage."
I flashed him my biggest, most suggestive grin and waggled my eyebrows at him. "Your men, is it? Well, well Lord Howe, I wasn't aware you were interested in such—"
He cut me off with a glare. "The Commander has entrusted the oversight of the soldiers of the Arling to me. Thus, they are my men. I swear, Mage, someday, someone will force you to grow up and begin acting like an adult. Now, stop distracting the soldiers and find some other way to amuse yourself."
He turned in a huff, and I grinned at his back before heading back to the keep.
Matthias arrived, plain clothed and out of breath, three–quarters of a candle later. When I pulled open the door, my robes were untied and my hair fell loose around my shoulders. As I stepped into the doorway, I saw Nathaniel cresting the stairs into the corridor and smiled.
"Matthias. Good. Thank you for coming. I was worried you'd changed your mind. Do come in. I took the liberty of having a fresh bath drawn up. For later. I think we'll both need it after what I have planned."
I ran my fingers along his arm before wrapping a hand around his wrist and pulling him into my room with a flourish. My eyes met Nathaniel's as he rounded the corner into his room, and I took a moment to etch the disapproving scowl on his face into my memory before I winked at him and closed my door. A moment later, I heard the bang echo down the corridor as Nathaniel slammed his own door shut behind him.
I turned to face Matthias who looked as though he wasn't quite sure where to put himself in my small room. "First things first," I said, "How about we make ourselves a little more comfortable?"