These characters do not belong to my writing partner or I.
Chapter Twenty-One
Once they were home and comfortably seated on Maura's green sofa in the living room, it was time to talk.
"How much do you want to know?" Jane knew she must proceed with caution.
"All of it," Maura answered. "Why was Barry so freaked out looking at me?"
"Because you look like Sasha," Jane said.
"You think I'm like her, too." Maura replied.
"You are."
"Why? Do we wear the same clothes or hairstyle or what?"
"No," Jane began. "Yes, but no."
"You're not making any sense," Jane. "Please explain this. I'm asking you. Please."
"You and Sasha are alike because you're meant to be," Jane explained. She looked at her phone and brought a picture up. Before turning it toward Maura, she took a deep breath. "You're twins. Cailin isn't your only sister. There's a box of stuff about the missing time in your closet that I hid after you lost your memory," Jane continued. "I'm going to go get it because you said you want to know everything."
Maura wasn't alone long, for Angela came through the door, a crying Kaylee in her arms.
"I think I know what will calm her down." Angela placed Kaylee in Maura's arms.
"Angela, now isn't a good time. Jane and I are having a serious talk."
Jane came back into the room with the box. "Oh, good. Kaylee is part of the demonstration." She lifted Kaylee from Maura's arms. "Come here, cutie pie. I don't want Maura to drop you from shock." Kaylee continued to cry. "Hey, little one, you hungry, huh?"
"Jane," Maura said, becoming annoyed. "Are you going to play house all night or tell me what's going on?"
"It's all part of what I need to tell you, Maur," Jane said. "I'm hanging onto her for now," she continued as she walked into the kitchen. "She needs her bottle first."
Jane busied herself preparing the bottle as she had often lately, but this time she had resolution, not tears, in her big chocolate eyes.
"Ok, we're ready to discuss the contents of that box." Jane settled herself and Kaylee back onto the sofa. "Open it and see what I've been having to hide."
Jane watched as Maura lifted items from the box and with each item her face changed, her hands shaking so badly she could hardly hold the picture.
"Jane." It was almost a cry. "How is this possible? No wonder you were so clingy. You thought I was dead." She melted into another wave of tears. "And Sasha-"
"She's still in a coma. Maura, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jane burped Kaylee. "Mommy needs a cuddle, baby girl. Maura, the next item in that box should be this little girl's birth certificate."
Maura gave a strangled cry and tears rolled down her cheeks. "She's my-" She stood up but then sat down again.
"Maura, meet your daughter." Jane placed Kaylee in Maura's arms. "She's wanted you for a week now."
Maura took the baby as if she were made of glass. "Hey, I'm sorry, sweet girl." She cried as she inhaled Kaylee's sweet scent. "What if I never remember her? Oh, Jane, I need that surgery as soon as I can get it."
Hope came into the room and took stock of what had happened by the two women's expressions. "What is going in here?"
"I want the surgery. Now."
"It's too risky," she said with a shake of her head.
"But I know what I could lose, and I know what I have already been without," Maura motioned to Kaylee. "I have a sister. I have a good relationship with you and Cailin. I have a past."
"Not all of it is so good," Hope inferred, nodding to the box.
Jane agreed. "There were some dark times."
Maura sighed with a resigned air. "Tell me."
Jane chose her words carefully, watching with each word leaving her lips the increasing pain on Maura's face. Maura held onto Kaylee as though she could take away the hurt, rocking her, not speaking.
Maura silently cried and that grew into a wail and an inhuman sounds that filled the room. "They thought I was dead?" She sobbed and sobbed. Jane felt helpless.
Jane took Maura and Kaylee into an embrace. "You didn't remember who you were. You met Sasha and through events I'm still fuzzy on, you were Maura again. I got not only you back, but I got this incredible little girl and your twin." She took Kaylee from Maura and held her as the little girl began to whimper. "I know, sweetie. Mommy's upset. It's okay, little one. It's okay, baby girl."
Jane took the baby and found her mother. Angela was more than happy to take care of Kaylee.
"I want to see Sasha," Maura declared. "Even if I don't remember her. She saved my life."
"Ok," Jane agreed.
"Thank you for not fighting me on this, Jane," Maura said.
Between the baby waking and Maura tossing and turning, Jane got no sleep. But she wasn't about to leave Maura alone. The next morning, she drove Maura to the hospital. Maura walked nervously into the room and when her gaze fell on Sasha she let out a gasp.
"Go to her," Hope whispered. "She needs to know you're here."
She took her sister's hand in hers and gently squeezed it in reassurance. It amazed her that the hand she held felt so much like her own and that the face she gazed into was her mirror image. Then Maura wondered how they'd first met, so she asked the one person who would know.
Hope gladly related the story of the rainy night at the coffeehouse as tears streamed down Maura's face as she heard it for the first time in her broken memory.
Barry came in and put a gentle hand on Maura's shoulders. Only he and Hope knew what this would mean to Sasha were she awake.
Suddenly, Maura pulled away from Sasha. "I-I can't. This is too much. I'm sorry." She bolted out of the room, her heels echoing down the hall.
"Maura!" Jane raced after her. "Maura!" She grabbed Maura's elbow. "What's wrong? You're shaking."
"She's too much to handle. She's too much like me. She's just too much." Maura sighed. "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"
"No, Maur, no. It's a lot to handle. We'll come back later."
Maura nodded and seemed to visibly relax. "Thanks, Jane. I just want to go to work. I need to keep busy."
They returned within the hour.
A while later, Jane went down to the morgue to check on Maura. "How are you holding up?" Jane asked.
Maura looked at her with the same blank stare she had years ago when she had first met her birth mother, the expression of hiding her emotions. "I'm fine."
Jane sighed and gently took the scalpel from Maura's hands. "Maura, you can't hide behind your bodies."
Maura's face contorted into a variety of emotions and Jane pulled her into an embrace. Maura snuggled as close as she could get. Jane knew that her presence and this morgue were the only things familiar to Maura right now.
Jane's cell phone began to ring. As she was on duty, she couldn't ignore it. "It sucks, but I have to go."
Maura wiped her eyes. "I know, but it's your job. I'm ok. Just go on."
Jane walked slowly from the morgue and allowed the tears to fall as she neared Vince and his comforting arms.
Maura was finishing up a report when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," she called.
The door opened, but instead of Jane entering Anna stood in the doorway.
"Hi, Anna," she greeted the teenager. "What are you doing?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something." Anna twirled her hair around her finger. "If you're not busy later can you maybe help me study for science? We're studying the body, and you're a medical examiner so-"
"I'd be honored to help you. I used to teach. I miss it. I know the diagrams they give in school are small."
"And no offense, not very helpful. I have an enlarged copy, but it's so hard," Anna said as she handed Maura her diagram of the body.
"Sure," Maura said. "I'll be happy to help you. I can have the lab enlarge those diagrams, too."
"Thanks," Anna's voice was full of gratitude.
"Come anytime," Maura told her.
"Are you free tonight? My mom's busy with a client and visiting Aunt Sasha. I just can't stand to see her like that, you know?"
"I know, sweetie. I feel awful that I don't remember!"
"Mom says you'll remember when you get the chip removed," Anna said. "I know you want to remember, but you're like a second aunt to me. I don't want anything to happen to you."
Maura blushed at the sudden words of affection. She smiled down at Anna. "Thank you, that's nice. I think I want the surgery, though," she said softly as much to herself as to the girl. "I want my life back, every part, regardless of if I know about it or not."
"I understand. I would too. So, tonight?" Anna asked finally.
"Yes. I'll pick you up at six and we'll go to my house. You can even stay the night, if you want."
Anna brightened. "Really? Thank you so much. This is going to be the best study session ever. I'm going to go do my other homework in the cafe. I don't mind waiting." Anna hugged her and Maura welcomed the embrace. How could she not remember how sweet and amazing this child was? Anna deserved every chance possible.
That night, they watched television and fed Bass his favorite British strawberries. Then they studied, when Maura presented Anna with the enlarged diagrams. She was immediately grateful.
"You're going to nail this exam. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something," Maura told her as they sat on the couch, watching a show about the French Revolution.
Anna beamed. "Thanks, Maura. I'm not as smart as you, though."
"We all have our gifts. I could never write like you do." Maura was amazed when Anna told her about her novel over dinner. "I'd love to read your new book, if you'll allow me to do so."
"Of course. I'll send it right now." Anna grabbed her iPad. After getting Maura's email address, she sent the document.
Maura grinned when she heard the ding of one of her iPads.
"I can't wait to read it!" Maura exclaimed. "You're so talented." Her voice softened. "Did we share writing before? When I can't remember? I really want to know."
Anna nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "It's the first thing we bonded over. I thought it was so cool that you liked to write, too."
Maura was puzzled by this comment. "I wrote? What did I write?"
"Science fiction, believe it or not," Anna responded.
"Really?" Maura found this incredible.
"Yes. I've missed sharing that with you. You're an amazing writer. So, you can take as long as you want to read it."
"You mind if I start now?" Maura asked.
"No. I'm actually gonna go shower if you don't mind."
"Not at all." Maura helped Anna get situated and then settled on the couch to read her story.
In her apartment, Liza was sitting on the sofa, staring into space. She had some large decisions to make, not only regarding Jimmy and his proposal. What weighed on her mind was whether or not she should go back into medicine. Part of her wanted to leave that chapter of her life behind. But if there was a chance that she could help Hope's daughter with the chip removal, she was all for it.
In her youth, Liza had been one of the best neurosurgeons in a field that had barely begun. Now she had lived through the rise and fall of her husband's experiments and the schemes of the rogue agency, and she was more determined to help than ever. She nearly reached for her phone to call her friend, but thought better of it at that moment. If her own daughter had still been alive, facing a situation like Sasha's would have been enough to handle at one time. Maura was, for all intents and purposes, fine. The decision of the chip removal could wait for a little while. Once her younger daughter improved, Liza would approach her friend about helping Maura.
"Maura? Earth to Maura."
Maura glanced up to find Jane standing over her. "When did you get here? Why are you here?"
Jane smirked. "Nice to see you too. I came to check on you."
"I'm fine, Jane. I'm sorry I've been so distant this week. I just feel distant from everything. Like a piece of me is missing."
"I know, and I'm sorry, Maur." Jane took Maura's hand. "What can I do?"
Maura shook her head. "Nothing. It's not you I have to remember. It's Anna, my sister and Angie. Anna told me that when we met, I wrote science fiction. I don't remember that. At all."
"But you will, Maura. You will." Jane indicated to Maura's iPad. "Work at this hour?"
"No, it's Anna's novel. It's incredible." Maura handed Jane the iPad and stood. "I need to check on her."
Jane watched her go and unlocked the iPad. One hundred thousand words stared back at her.
Jane started to read a little of the page on which Maura had stopped and blinked in astonishment. "This is fantastic," she exclaimed in awe.
Maura nodded. "I know." Tears began to fall. "I want the surgery, Jane. I mean it. My life cannot stay like this. I feel so isolated from things that everyone else knows. I want to talk to my family. I have no idea how my, um, Sasha is doing."
Jane put a supportive arm around her best friend. Just then, the phone rang from Maura's purse.
Maura dug it from her purse as Angela came through the door with Kaylee.
"It's Hope. She wants to talk to you." Maura handed Jane the phone and took Kaylee from Angela. She watched as Jane talked, her back turned.
"I need to go to the hospital," Jane said, handing Maura her phone. "Sasha's awake."
"Really? That's great news!" Maura beamed. "Barry will be so happy."
"Yes, he will." Jane bit back a response that would have been way different. But, there was no time for that, she was just happy that Sasha was awake.
"I'm going now." Jane walked toward the exit.
"Ok," Maura said.
Jane drove as fast as she could and met Barry outside Sasha's room. Instead of elation, she saw sadness. "Is she-you said she was awake."
"She is. Not off the vent yet, but Hope thinks it won't be much longer. She's got her lightly sedated."
"So why the long face? That's great news! Maura sends her love."
"That's just it, Jane. It's Maura she wants."
Jane slumped against the wall. "What did you tell her?"
"That she'd come by later. When's later, Jane? A month? Six? What?"
Jane ran a hand through her hair. "If she doesn't get that second chip removed, she'll never remember Sasha or any of them. It's risky, Frost, and I-I want her to know Sasha. But I also can't lose her again. I finally have my best friend back."
"I know, it's a hard call," Barry sympathized. "I'll just tell Sasha that she'll be by later. Hope has her on enough drugs that she'll probably forget, anyway. Hope said Sasha can't be subjected to any kind of stress whatsoever."
"Oh, boy." Jane was stymied on what to do.
Just then, Hope came out into the hallway and encouraged them both to come in.
Jane followed Frost into Sasha's room and went to the bed. She grabbed Sasha's hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't know he'd show up. You're gonna be okay." She felt Sasha's fingers slip out of her hand and when Sasha spelled a letter m in Sign Language she knew. "Maura will be by later, but she sends her love." At least the last part was true. "Get some rest, pretty girl."
After Hope injected a sedative into her IV, Sasha's eyes closed and she fell deeply asleep.
Jane and Barry looked at each other with puzzled expressions. Neither of them knew what to do.
Then there was a gentle knock at the door and an upper middle aged woman with platinum hair came in. It was Liza. "Is this a good time to visit?" She smiled at Hope. "Hi, Dr. Martin."
The next morning, Maura was in the cafe getting her morning coffee after dropping Anna at school. She'd tossed and turned all night, wondering what to do about Sasha. Part of her wanted to go see her, but part of her wanted to run as far away as possible.
"Someone wants her mommy." Jane placed Kaylee in Maura's arms. "Thought she might cheer you up. You look like you lost your best friend. But that's not possible, because I'm standing right here."
Maura looked like she'd been jolted with a bolt of electricity. "Oh, sorry, Jane. It was a rough night and I'm kind of half here today. I have no idea if I should go see Sasha or not."
"Only you know that," Jane gave her friend a hug and Maura relaxed into the embrace.
"I don't, I just want the operation. Yesterday."
Jane sighed as she added the baby to Maura. "My ma said she'd be glad to watch Kaylee if things get busy downstairs."
"Tell her thank you. I might just have to take her up on that."
Maura rubbed her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. It was going to be a very long day, indeed.
"Sweet girl," Maura whispered to her daughter. Her daughter. The word still shocked her. "I want to keep her with me for a while. Just until I go downstairs."
"Well, you have a visitor," Jane said and nodded toward Hope and another woman Maura didn't recognize. "I know you don't remember the relationship you two have now, but be civil. Please." Jane placed a hand on Maura's shoulder and a kiss on Kaylee's forehead."Good luck," she said as she headed out of the cafe.
Hope approached Maura almost timidly. The woman standing next to her was taller and had short platinum blonde hair with bright blue eyes. She had a pensive expression as well.
"Good morning, Dr. Martin," Maura said in her best civil voice.
"Hello, Maura. I want to introduce you to Dr. Liza Harris. A former colleague who I think can do your operation," Hope said.
Maura tried not to let her surprise show, but failed. "Really? Wow." She'd wanted this, yes, more than anything. But now that the offer was on the table, the thought terrified her. "I was told it wasn't possible." She held Kaylee close, as if somehow the baby would protect her from saying anything more.
Hope shook her head. "With most neurosurgeons, it would be impossible. But Liza is better than the top in her field. She's not only pioneered advances, but she has had experience with cases like you're in the underground," she finished, trying to be discreet about the cloning issue.
"When can I have the surgery? I'll need to get time off to get things in order." Maura shifted Kaylee in her arms. She had no idea what the underground was, but let it go for now.
"Will a week be enough time for you?" Hope asked.
Maura nodded. "It should be fine. Thank you so much. Now, maybe Anna, Angie and everyone except Jane won't seem like strangers to me."
"They won't," Liza promised her. "You'll regain all your memories with none of the risks, because I know exactly how that chip went into your brain." Her voice softened. "My late husband put it there."
"But why did he?" Maura asked.
Hope glanced anxiously at Liza. She really needed to be the one to provide this answer.
"So he could do exactly what he did and erase your memories should things get-complicated. But, in a week, all of this will be over."
"Not all of it," Maura whispered. "Sasha is still in a coma." Maura shook her head. "I'm sorry, I have work to do. A lot to prepare for my leave of absence." It wasn't fair. Those monsters-whomever they were-had robbed her memories and life.
"Of course, dear. I'll call you with the details. Maura, I'd really like it if you came to see Sasha. She's awake more and more and is asking about you. Truth is, I'm running out of things to tell her."
At the mention of her sister, Maura bristled. She could not take seeing her double again until she had some memories to accompany her presence. However, she didn't want want to be rude. After all, these two women were about to give all of her memories back. "I'll see what I can do," she offered. Hopefully the week of getting things in order would take precedence.
As it turned out, the week was busier than she expected. There were cases to reassign, childcare to arrange and the formal process of taking a medical leave of absence. Jane had promised to convince Cavanaugh of the importance of having anyone but Dr. Pike as the substitute medical examiner. Otherwise, she'd be fine with whomever her replacement might be. Jane also took time off in order to spend as much as was possible by Maura's side. It seemed as though it was just the very next day that she was admitted to the hospital. Now her life would change forever. Jane was with her from the beginning.
"I'm terrified, Maura. What if something goes wrong? I know you want your memories back, but I can't lose you." Jane was slowly losing control, her walls crumbling.
Maura patted the bed next to her and Jane laid down beside her. "You won't lose me. I'll always be with you, even if-"
"No, don't say it. You're not going to die." It was almost a shout. "Kaylee will be fine."
"I know. I'm not worried. But, I will worry about you if you don't calm down."
Jane wiped a tear from her eye that she hadn't noticed until that very moment. She shook her head. "I don't know, but I'll try for you."
Maura nodded. "That is more like it. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be myself again."
Jane sniffled. "I know."
They stayed close until it was time for Maura to be wheeled into the OR. Jane went with her until she couldn't go any further.
"Jane, you have to let go now." Maura cupped Jane's cheek. "I need my brave fearless detective by my side when I wake up."
Jane gripped Maura's hand. "I'll be right here when you wake up. I love you."
Maura smiled. "I love you, too. More than you know. Now, go give my daughter a kiss for me."
Both Hope and Liza were in the OR when they wheeled Maura in. They placed her onto the table and smiled behind their surgical masks. It comforted Maura to see how much they cared. She closed her eyes and thought of Jane as they lowered the mask onto her nose and mouth. Her last thought was of being whole when she woke up. Hope gave Liza's had a squeeze. "Do what you do best, doctor," she said to her friend.
Liza smiled at her and turned her attention to Maura. Sometimes it was hard to see her as a separate person from her twin, whom Liza had met in captivity. When she looked at Maura, it was easy to see Sasha, the brave young woman who'd stepped in front of a firing squad to save her life. Now Liza could repay them both for the renewed life with which she had been gifted.