Te Amare

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A/N: Again, same chapter just betaed!

Chapter 21: Almost There

"You look beautiful, Sam," Janet said, as she stood next to Sam looking into the mirror. They were in the Air Force Academy Chapel's dressing room, getting ready for Sam's wedding.

"It is a beautiful wedding dress, isn't it?" Sam asked, as she lovingly ran a hand down her side. She was wearing a simple and elegant white chiffon gown. It had off the shoulder straps and a V-neck. The bust and straps had delicate embroidery framed by a criss-cross of fabric. The V-neckline was echoed in the back by the lace up and the end of the fabric, which was also framed by the embroidery. The criss-cross fabric gave the dress an empire waist, under which the chiffon just flowed down in an A line. The weight of the chiffon made it have some wave at the hem on the front. On the back the waves began at the end of the V and flowed down to a small but lovely train. Instead of a veil, she carried a lace wrap and she had some small white roses and crystal weaved into her hair.

"Yes," Janet answered with a misty smile. "Simple, classic and elegant – perfect for you."

"Thank you," Sam said with a smile. "I couldn't quite see myself in a big, puffy, Cinderella-like gown."

"No, me neither," agreed Janet with a chuckle. Just then the door opened and Cassie walked in.

"Hey mom," she said before looking at Sam. "Oh, wow, Sam. You look like a princess!!"

Both Janet and Sam laughed. "And here we were just saying how I'm not the type to go for the fairly tale like dress." Sam said as Cassie walked over and hugged Janet.

"This isn't a fairy tale," Cassie said with a small smile. "This is way better because it's real. You know how long I have waited for this day?"

"No more than I did, Cass," Sam answered with a wistful smile. "But if anyone looks like a fairy tale princess, it's you. Look at you, Cassie. You look beautiful and so grown up!!"

"Thank you," Cassie said, as she gave a small curtsy. "And it's about time I looked like a grown up, since I am a grown up!"

"That you are," Janet agreed, with a small smile. She'd missed so much of her baby girl's life that it was all she could do sometimes, not to dwell on it. She just had to remember that she was home now and she would be there when her daughter graduated college – even if she had missed her high school graduation. And she would be there for her wedding, even if she had missed her prom.

With a sigh, Janet reminding herself to be glad to be back and not sad and angry for all the time she lost. But it wasn't easy; in fact the five months since she came back hadn't been easy on anyone – especially on Cassie. Cassie had been a teenager when Janet was lost and a young woman when she came back. The adjustment hadn't been easy on mother or daughter. Cassie had gotten used to being on her own and Janet still remembered being the one responsible for all the major decisions. To say they've had some clashes would be an understatement.

Still, they'd worked through them and were now closer than ever. Seeing her now, so happy, as she and Sam made final adjustments to her hair do, Janet couldn't help but remember the first time they saw each other again, all those months ago. . .

Flashback/Flashback/Flashback/Flashback

"Janet would you stop with the pacing," Sam asked from where she was working on her laptop in a chair next to Jack's bed. "You're making me dizzy."

"Sorry, sorry," Janet apologized, as she came to a stop and leaned back on the bed next to Jack's. "I'm just so worried. Though I don't know how you can get dizzy if you're not even looking up," she complained, when she noticed that Sam hadn't even bothered to bring her eyes up when she talked.

"I can still see you out of the corner of my eye," Sam responded. "I don't need to see you in full to get dizzy." She finally looked up and told Janet seriously. "There's nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"I know, I know." Janet said in a tone of voice that said she didn't know any such thing. "I know you're right. But I can't help worrying about how Cassie is going to react to all this."

"She'll be thrilled to have her mom back," Sam said with conviction. "That's how she's going to react."

"Yeah," Janet agreed again. "But it's going to be a shock, you know? And she might be pissed that it's taken a week before we told her."

"She won't be," Sam disagreed. "Cassie is a bright young woman and she knows how these things work."

"I guess," Janet said dubiously.

"Relax, Janet." Sam said, as she leaned forward and took hold of Janet's hand.

"Everything will be ok. Cassie is a good kid; she'll be fine."

"Not so much a kid anymore," Janet disagreed, with a sad smile.

"No, not so much," Sam said.

"And she does have a temper," Jack piped in.

"Jack!" Sam cried out, as Janet jumped up and hurried to the bedside saying, "General, how do you feel?"

"Like I was shot by a staff weapon," was Jack's tart response. At the frown both women gave him, he relented. "I feel much better, thank you."

Janet busied herself with talking some measurements and making sure he really was fine, before saying, "She has a bad temper?"

"Well, not really bad per se," Jack clarified. "But she has been known to erupt when things exasperate her or bother her."

"Jack!!" Sam reproached, when she saw Janet's alarmed look.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I'm just telling the doc how things are, Sam." He explained in a low but firm tone. "There's no use in telling her to relax because she won't. And telling her everything will be fine, while not a lie is an over-simplification of the matter. Sure, Cassie will be overjoyed to see her mom's back, but it won't be an easy transition to make – for either of them. Cassie is a grown up now and used to living on her own. But Janet probably still remembers her as a kid. It'll take time to get the new dynamics ironed out. And I'm betting it won't be easy. Not to mention the fact that Cassie will probably get angry about all the time she missed with her mom because of the damn Goa'uld." He paused to take a big breath before continuing.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but . . . it might be a good idea if you both have some counseling. It's going to be a tough adjustment and you're going to need help."

"Jack," Sam hissed, berating him for upsetting Janet. "We can talk about this later. Can't you see how worried Janet is?"

"No, Sam." Janet said, with a small smile. "He's right. It will be a tough adjustment and ignoring that won't make it any easier." When Sam still looked worried, she added, "I'm fine, honest. I think acknowledging the problems makes me feel more in control – and I like it. So many things have been out of my control for so long that I don't only like having control again – I need it."

Sam nodded, understanding where Janet was coming from, when they heard Cassie coming down the hall.

"Hurry up, Daniel. I want to see Jack," Cassie was saying. Daniel's response was much quieter and thus not heard by those in the room. "But he's Ok, right Daniel? And why wasn't I told before?" Before Daniel could respond they had reached the infirmary.

"Jack!" Cassie cried out as soon as she stepped in the room and like a locked missile went straight to his bed without looking anywhere else.

Janet had moved to the side of the room as soon as she heard Cassie's voice; she knew that Jack had been a very important person in Cassie's life these last few years. Cassie needed to be sure that Jack was going to be fine before she was confronted with the return of her dead mother.

"Are you ok?" Cassie asked Jack as she rushed to his bedside. She hesitated before she very carefully leaned in and hugged him. Jack reached up with his uninjured arm and patted her back.

"I'm ok, Cassie. Don't worry," he told her. Cassie straightened up and turned to greet Sam, even as she snorted at Jack's comment.

"Hi, Sam" she said, as they exchanged hugs and kisses. "Don't worry, right; like that's a possibility when I hear you've been injured. And why is it that I'm just hearing about this now?" She had been to the infirmary enough that she knew that Jack had been there for a while, "when it's obvious that you were hurt days ago."

"Cass," Sam said, as she put her arm around the girl's shoulders, "you were in classes and were coming over anyway. There wasn't much you could have done before but worry."

"You still should have told me, Sam." Cassie insisted. "I'm not a little girl anymore. But why are you here? What happened? I thought you were in DC and the only thing we had to worry about was you getting too comfortable behind a desk and getting fat or maybe a paper cut. And yet, here you are in the SGC infirmary; which can only mean you've gone off world, right?" She stopped and when neither Sam nor Jack answered fast enough to suit her, she repeated. "So, what happened? How did you get injured?"

"I was shot by a staff weapon," Jack answered as he sighed. Sam frowned but kept silent; she knew they had to tell her what had happened.

"I knew it!" Cassie said. "You went off world, but why? Why did they let you? You haven't been in the field for years, Jack. They shouldn't have sent you now. What could be so important that they would send a two star general into danger?"

Jack and Sam exchanged glances and without speaking they both agreed that there was no need for Cassie to know about Jack's not so infrequent missions.

"Cassie," Sam said with a sigh. "It was important. He needed to go." Cassie turned to look at her incredulous.

"You mean you were ok with him going off-world on a mission?" she asked.

"No, I wasn't," Sam answered truthfully.

"But it wasn't like she had a choice," Jack interrupted. "Cassie, we received reliable Intel saying that Ba'al was moving some SGC personnel from a secured base to an impenetrable base. If we were going to mount a rescue, we needed to do it while they were in transit. The best way to do that was to use the Ancient Puddle Jumper and I'm the one with the strongest gene and the only one with actual experience in controlling Ancient technology."

"What about that guy in Atlantis? He has more experience than you; why couldn't he have gone?" Cassie asked and Jack turned to look at Sam as he remembered that Sam had made the same suggestion. Sam hid a smile in Cassie's hair when she saw Jack's gaze.

"The guy is Lt. Col. John Sheppard and he has his own problems in Atlantis. He couldn't just drop everything to come when I'm just as capable. Besides, even if he could have, we needed to move fast and couldn't have waited for him to get here." Cassie wasn't too happy with that answer but something occurred to her.

"I didn't know that we were missing any people," she said, with a frown, as she looked from Jack to Sam.

"We weren't except for those that died off-world and whose bodies we couldn't bring back," Jack explained softly as Sam tightened her arm around Cassie's shoulders.

"Jack? Sam?" She said and in those few seconds both Sam and Jack were reminded of the little girl they had rescued all those years ago. "You didn't . . .?" she trailed off before asking the question; too scared of the answer.

"Yes, honey," Sam answered as Jack said, "There's someone who's been waiting a long time to see you." Cassie shuddered once before she took a big breath and slowly turned around.

"Cassie," Janet said from where she was standing a few feet from Jack's bed.

"Sweetheart," she said, as she opened her arms. Cassie stood frozen for a few seconds before she asked, "Mom?" When Janet nodded, Cassie broke out of her paralysis and ran towards Janet. They met halfway and wrapped each other in a long, tight hug.

End of Flashback/End of Flashback/End of Flashback

"So, we ready?" Vala asked, as she entered the room, bringing Janet back from her memory trip. "Oh, wow! Don't we all look beautiful?" She asked, as she looked around and Sam, Janet and Cassie laughed. Vala had been in the room with Sam and Janet when they had began getting ready but had gone out to make sure the 'boys' were behaving themselves and this was the first time she'd seen Sam ready.

Though Janet had been missing for years, Sam had wanted her to be her Maid of Honor and both Vala and Cassie had understood. Sam had thought of asking her sister-in-law to also be a bridesmaid, but had decided against it since they weren't very close.

"These gowns really go with your dress, Sam." Vala said as she walked closer to where the other women were standing by the mirror. She came to stand by Janet and the four of them studied their reflection in the mirror. "And unlike some of other bridesmaids' gowns, these we can wear again. You did good," Vala said, with a nod. Vala, Cassie and

Janet were wearing beautiful full-length gowns with V-neck, side shirring and a side cascade. Janet's dress was midnight blue, while Vala's and Cassie's were a couple of shades lighter.

"We really do look good," Vala said, as she continued to study herself in the mirror. "Maybe you can find a guy tonight," she said, as she nudged Janet. "You need to go out and have fun."

"Vala," Janet said, as she rolled her eyes. "This is Sam's wedding, not a place to pick up men."

"Where is it written that it can't be both?" Vala asked. "There will be lots of available men here and you can have your pick."

"Vala," Janet said firmly. "I am not picking up anyone at Sam's wedding."

"Ok, what if we go out somewhere else?" Vala asked and Janet just rolled her eyes again.

"I think you should, mom," Cassie said, after sharing a look with Vala. "There really wouldn't be anything wrong with you looking around today and seeing if you like someone."

"Cassie!" Janet said, reproachfully but Cassie laughed and Sam put in her two cents.

"I agree with them, Janet. There's nothing wrong with you looking around. You've been back five months and the only time you've been out is with us. I think it's time you had a date," Sam said, with a smile before she turned to the mirror to check her hair once again.

"Not you too, Sam!" Janet said, in exasperation. "I'll date when I want to and not a moment before," she said firmly and gave them her best doctor's glare. Where that glare would silence almost everyone else, including two star generals, it didn't have much of an effect on her two closest friends and her daughter. As they continued to tease her and make plans to go out when Sam came back from her honeymoon, Janet though about how comfortable she was in the company of these three women, who were all so different: Sam, the by the book military officer; Vala, the 'write my own rules' ex-pirate and Cassie, the 'I'm still deciding if I'll follow rules' college student.

Janet was still amazed that Vala had become such a close friend. They practically had nothing in common. Vala and Sam had not only bonded over having gone through hell and back as members of SG1, but they also had the unpleasant distinction of being the only two women in the SGC to have been host to a Goa'uld. Granted, Sam's experience was with a Tok'ra who gave its life so that Sam could live and Vala's was considerably longer and nastier; still, they both knew what it was like to be a prisoner in their own bodies, to have no control over what they did or said and they knew what it was to live with that knowledge. Cassie and Vala shared the experience of not being from this world as well as having the enthusiasm for life that comes with youth – though Vala was older than Cassie, she still projected that gusto. But Janet and Vala had none of that in common and yet there they were.

Janet still remembered the day Vala had gone to visit her and she'd realized they were going to be more than just acquaintances, if Vala had anything to say about it.

Flashback/Flashback/Flashback

Janet had been back for three weeks and was having a tough time acclimating to being back in the real world. The only times she'd been out had been to the base for the half shifts she'd had, and for her sessions with Mackenzie, and the few times Sam and Daniel had dragged her out for a bite to eat. The shopping had been done by Cassie before she'd gone back to school and anything Janet had needed since then, she'd bought over the internet; she just wasn't comfortable enough to venture out on her own yet.

Thankfully, even though Cassie had stayed with Sam after Janet's demise, Sam had decided to keep Janet's house as an asset for Cassie's future. Thus, it had not been necessary for Janet to either stay at the base or move in with Sam (which would have meant moving in with Jack too) because the people renting the house had moved out a couple of months before Janet was rescued. Janet had needed to have some time alone to process everything and because everyone was working at the mountain during the days, she'd had more than enough time alone in those three weeks. But the end of the third week, she was starting to feel a little cooped up. Not that she was ready to go out by herself, but she did wish Mackenzie would allow her to have more than three half shifts a week.

It was Thursday afternoon and she was channel surfing trying to find something to occupy her time when her door bell rang. She was surprised when she heard it, because everyone she knew was supposed to be working, and she was a little apprehensive about unannounced visitors. She nevertheless got up and went to see who her guest was. She was even more surprised when she opened the door and saw Vala standing there with a bag of takeout in one hand and the other full of what must have been the bookstore's entire inventory of bridal magazines.

"Janet!" She cried out, as she leaned in for a one arm hug and a kiss. "How are you?!" She stepped past a stunned Janet and into the house. "I hope you're hungry because I brought lunch!" She announced, as she walked into the living room.

"Yes," Janet said, as she slowly closed the door before she turned and followed the other woman's progress through the house. "I had a late breakfast so I haven't had lunch yet."

"Great!" Vala said, as she sat down on the sofa and started to take out the food. "I hope you like what I brought; I asked Sam and Daniel for your favorites and they both agreed on Italian."

"Yes," Janet agreed, feeling a bit like a hurricane had blown in and she just had to hold on for the ride. "That's fine."

"Great!" Vala said and patted the seat next to her. "Come on; get it while it's still hot."

"Ok," Janet said with a laugh; Sam had warned her that Vala was a force of nature and it was just best to go along with her. "Oh, this is good," Janet said, after she took her first bite.

"I know," Vala said. "It's from my favorite Italian restaurant. I make Daniel take me at least twice a month. The tiramisu is to die for, trust me."

"I'm sure it is," Janet agreed with a grin. For the next few minutes, they enjoyed their lunch, mostly in silence, with a few comments here and there.

"So, Vala," Janet said, when they finished their entrees. "What are you doing here? Not that I don't enjoy the company but shouldn't you be working?"

"There wasn't much to do at the mountain," Vala said, as she put her drink down and picked up her dessert. "I mean we came back from PXY-635 two days ago and now Daniel and Jonas are buried in the lab doing the translation. Sam is buried in her lab running tests on some gizmos we found; Teal'c's busy training new recruits and Cameron is in his office buried under all the paperwork he hasn't done. But," she paused to savor the tiramisu, "there isn't much for me to do and I was bored so I thought I'd come and hang with you."

"Umm," Janet said, as she too savored her dessert, "And you didn't have paperwork of your own to do?"

"No, well, maybe," she conceded. "But, General Landry's very understanding about it."

"I'm sure," Janet agreed with a grin. "Well, I take it from all these magazines that you want to work on Sam's wedding? Unless you're planning your own?" Janet teased.

"What? My own? Not likely," Vala scoffed. "At least not yet," she added coyly. "But for right now, I thought we could help Sam plan hers."

"That sounds fine," Janet said, as she picked up her drink. "But shouldn't Sam be here? Since it is her wedding."

"Oh, no," Vala said airily, as she waved the question away. "We don't really need her because we have this," she turned and pulled a big binder from her shoulder bag.

"And what is that?" Janet asked as she put down her dessert and drink and reached for the binder.

"Oh, that is Sam's master plan for the wedding," Vala explained, as she took the last bite of her dessert.

"I knew she was organized, but this . . ." Janet murmured, as she flipped through the pages of the binder. "Does she know you have this?"

"Oh, that's my copy," Vala answered, as she began putting all the containers away.

"Your copy?" Janet asked, curiously.

"Yeah, and you'll have your own in a few days. Sam was just waiting for you to be more settled before she really buried you beneath all the wedding plans."

Janet just looked up for a second, before she looked back at the book, shaking her head. "Well, that's something to look forward to, I guess."

"Isn't it?" Vala asked with a smirk. "Anyway, since Sam already chose her wedding gown, I thought we could narrow down the choices for the bridesmaids' dresses. You know, so we can make sure we don't end up with ruffles, neon colors or bows," she said, with a shudder.

"No, we wouldn't want that," Janet agreed. "And if we're the ones to choose, we can make sure to choose something that we could hopefully use more than once."

"Exactly what I was thinking," Vala said, as she took half of the magazines and gave Janet the other half. "I wanted something in leather," she confided, as she flipped through the magazines and failed to notice how Janet ogled at her. "But Sam wouldn't go for it."

"No, I wouldn't think so," Janet commented with a grin.

"You know," Vala said, after a few minutes of silence, when they pursued the magazines. "We should also start to plan the bachelorette party."

"The bachelorette party?" Janet repeated. "Vala, the wedding is more than four months away!"

"Exactly!" Vala said, as she looked up from the magazine. "We don't have much time to plan something great."

"Vala most bachelorette parties are planned days before the wedding not months," Janet argued.

"That's because most are boring." Vala said, with a scoff. "I was thinking we could plan something amazing and wild – like maybe a weekend to Las Vegas or better yet, New York!"

"Vala!" Janet protested with a laugh. "Sam is not going to want to go away days before her wedding. She's going to have way too much to do. Besides, I don't really see Sam as wanting something that wild."

"I don't know," Vala said, with a shake of her head. "I think you guys underestimate Sam's ability to have fun; she has a darker, wilder side, you know."

"I know," Janet agreed. "She is going to marry Jack O'Neill after all." Vala nodded and laughed along with Janet. "Why don't we compromise and look into fun things to do here in the Springs? I really don't think a weekend away days before the wedding will be the right thing to do."

"Ok," Vala agreed. "As long as we do something fun and not something boring like staying at home and watching TV."

"No," Janet agreed with a grin. "I promise we won't do that."

"Ok, then," Vala said and they both turned their attention to the magazines. They spent fifteen minutes going through the magazines before Vala asked something that had been on her mind for a while. "Were you and Daniel ever an item?"

"What?" Janet asked, as she looked up at the other woman, in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean were you and Daniel ever an item? You know, did you ever have a romantic relationship?" Vala asked matter of fact.

"No," Janet answered firmly. "Whatever made you ask that?"

"Oh," Vala answered with a shrug as she shifted on the sofa so that she was facing Janet. "Just some things I've heard around the mountain."

"What?" Janet asked surprised. "You've heard that Daniel and I were involved?"

"Well, no, not exactly." Vala said, as she put her elbow on the back of the couch and leaned her head on her hand. "I just heard that there was some chemistry and that maybe there could have been something."

"Ah," Janet said, as she too shifted on the couch. "Some chemistry, yeah maybe, we were good friends and maybe if I hadn't been taken there could have been more, but there never was. It was never the right time. At first he was still looking for his wife, and then he was trying to deal with her death, and I was busy with Cassie and then, well, then he died and then I died." She laughed and shook her head, "It was never the right time." She paused and she shifted her gaze to the wall. "And now looking at him with you," she shook her head and said, "I don't think it would have gone very far. We're good friends and always have been and maybe we might have tried for more but it just wasn't meant to be." She finished and looked at Vala.

The two shared a look and both knew that despite not having much in common they would be good friends. And in the end, Sam's bachelorette party was wild enough even for Vala.

End of Flashback/End of Flashback/End of Flashback

A knock on the door broke Janet's reverie.

"Sam, honey," Jacob's voice came through the door. "Are you ready?" He asked as Cassie opened the door to let him in. "We're ready out here," he was saying as he entered and then trailed off as he saw Sam for the first time. "Oh, Sammy," he said, as he walked towards her and took her hands.

"We'll wait outside," Janet said, as she ushered Cassie and Vala out to give father and daughter some time alone.

"You look so much like your mother," Jacob said, once they were alone.

"I miss her so much," Sam said with a sad smile.

"I know but I also know she'd be proud and happy for you, Sam," Jacob said as he cupped Sam's cheek. "And you know her spirit is here with us."

"I know," Sam agreed with another sad smile.

"Are you happy?" Jacob asked, searching her eyes. "Really, happy?"

"Yes, dad I am," Sam answered with a genuine smile this time. "I'm really happy; with you and Janet here, I don't think I could be happier."

"That's all I ever wanted for you and your brother, you know," Jacob said, seriously, "for you to be happy, truly happy." He paused for a minute before saying, "I know that I wasn't always the father you'd have liked."

"No, Dad," Sam started to protest.

"No, Sam," Jacob said firmly. "I know I made mistakes; I was so focused on pushing you to achieve your dreams that I forgot a career, however successful, does not fulfill your life. I had forgotten that though your mom left me much too soon, I would do it all again because loving her and having her love me was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Dad," Sam started and then trailed off; it was surreal having her father tell her almost the same things that her hallucination of more than three years ago had told her.

"Sam," Jacob said as he leaned in and kiss her forehead. "I'm just glad that you had the chance to find that kind of love and that you had the courage to go after it – despite the obstacles. I know that Jack loves you and would do anything for you; he's the right man for you and I thank God that you didn't settle," though Jacob didn't mention Pete, they both knew to whom he was referring.

"I love Jack, Dad," Sam said simply.

"I know," Jacob agreed. "It was always him – since the moment you met him. Both you and your brother are with the loves of your lives and you're both happy; that's all I ever really wanted for you." Jacob repeated.

"Thank you, Dad," Sam said and tried not to cry as she leaned into Jacob's hug. A few minutes later, she leaned back as Jacob said, "Shall we?"

"Yes," Sam said with a huge smile and they turned and walked out of the room.