The next step in my defiance was to look for the things he hadn't said, to use his words against him, or better the lack thereof.

Another day he'd just told me to do my usual morning routine, watching me as he ate his breakfast, leaving us to continue after he'd finished. I fainted soon after, ending my torture.

He'd left the rest of his breakfast on the table, hadn't even touched the eggs. I could smell them the second I came to. There was nobody around. They kept out of the way when Kilgrave wasn't there, avoiding me.

I'd finished eating before I even realized what I'd done. I ran to the bathroom, trying to make myself throw up, to not disobey his orders. It didn't work. I started crying. This wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to eat. What if he found out? What would he do to me then? If he discovered that I defied his order. But had I really? Had he really told me to not eat anything today?

He hadn't, he'd forgotten. I'd done nothing wrong. I wouldn't have to tell him.

Those moments, those little pieces of resistance helped loosen the hold he had on my mind. There were even times when I was completely lucid, completely myself. I thought about escaping, more than once, but I never tried, I never got a chance to try. I was too weak, I wouldn't have gotten far, nor would I've known where to go. Half the time I was either unconscious, under his control or guarded. There was no point in even trying, he'd find me again anyway, there was no escaping him.

But I had escaped, I'd gotten away and I'd gotten stronger. A lot stronger. Maybe even strong enough to defeat him, to revenge his victims, Liam.

The one memory I still hadn't faced, the images I still kept pushing down whenever they surfaced. I could feel them lurking at the back of my mind, ready to pounce as soon as I let my guard down, together with one horrible realization I didn't dare admit yet.

Now that I knew I'd been able to resist Kilgrave's powers, now that I was aware of my gift. I could no longer blame Liams death on him. I was right from the start, it had been my fault and mine alone, without me he'd still be alive.

Before that last night with Kilgrave, he'd still had some power over me. I could only fight his control when he wasn't physically there, or once some time had past.

The last order he'd ever given that I had actually followed was revealing my powers. Not to him, but to myself, giving me the ability to do something no one had ever been able to do to Kilgrave, to lie.. That lie was the last piece I'd needed to break the hold he'd had on my mind, from that moment on, his words were only that, words.

Which is why all the excuses I'd made for killing Liam had been lies too. Fact is that only he had to follow Kilgraves order, I'd had a choice and I'd made the wrong one. His blood had been on my hands, literally and figuratively.

What did this mean for me? Was framing Kilgrave for my murder wrong? What about the murders he really had committed? The ones he'd made others go down for? If I had the chance to make him pay, to show the world who Kilgrave was, by making him pay for my crimes, should I do it? Could I do it?

All I had were theories. I thought that he no longer had a hold on my mind, but did I dare to put it to the test? What if I was wrong? If his power trumped mine? Facing him then would only give him a weapon he didn't have before, it could end catastrophically.

So I had to choose. Stay here like a coward and let Jessica fight him on her own. Or go back to New York and risk Kilgrave getting his hands on another gifted puppet to use for his amusement.

What should I do? What would Jessica do?