So this is the last flashback chapter- this one covers some amount of time, so hopefully this kind of clears up some backstory. Please read and review!
Chapter 21 Out of Reach
It had been a boring weekend for Adam. Jack's family had invited Connie to spend a long weekend at their lake house in Wisconsin, so he was left alone in Minnesota. He did hang out with Charlie at McManus's Bar, the Saturday before Connie was due back.
"She's pretty cute, " Charlie said, indicating a petite blonde sitting down the bar from them. She was sitting with a couple other girlfriends. The gaggle of girls had looked over at that moment and turned back to each other, smiling and resuming their talking and drinking.
"Yeah, she is, " Adam said, uninterested in tone. He turned back to his beer. "How's training?" he asked over the loud music coming from the jukebox. The bar was pretty crowded,
"It's pretty brutal, " Charlie said. "But, it's good. What have you been up to lately?"
"Not much, playing the bass…I've been hanging out with Connie a lot."
"Really? What do you guys do?"
"Nothing really, just hang out, " Adam said. "She's been down at Jack's family's vacation house with them since Tuesday, so yeah."
"That's cool, " Charlie said, finishing off his beer. "C'mon, lets talk to those girls," he said with a nod of his head, in the direction of where the blonde and her friends were.
"You go ahead, " Adam said, giving his best friend a half smile. "I don't want to walk over there." He tapped his cane, which he was still using against his stool.
"C'mon," Charlie said, giving Adam a face. "So what? It's a conversation starter."
"Easy for you to say, Charlie, " Adam said, stern in his voice. Charlie knew to leave his friend alone about it. He didn't bail on Adam, and they ordered another round of drinks.
"Come over for dinner, " Adam asked Connie on the phone. "It's Sunday night- my mom's making pot roast."
"Will there be mashed potatoes?" Connie asked. She had gotten in from Chicago and seeing Jack two hours ago.
"I'll make it happen, " he said. "C'mon, I missed ya these past few days. And- Andrew is bringing his new girlfriend over. I don't know if I could handle that."
"You just can't get enough of me, huh?"
"This is true…" Adam said, smiling. "But yeah, you're not working tomorrow, come over."
"All right, Adam, " Connie said. "I'll be over soon." They hung up with each other and Connie went back to unpacking her bag. The past five days had been great with Jack. She had met his family and they had all gone to their lake house barbequing, swimming, tubing, and hanging out until late around the campfire. It was a sad parting though when Jack dropped her off at the train station earlier that morning. The two of them had returned back to Jack's house Saturday night, by themselves. They were able to spend the night together.
Connie put her dirty clothes into her hamper with a smile, thinking about the night before. They had sex several times; it had been easy because they hadn't seen each other since leaving school at the end of the spring semester. The possibility of sneaking around while at the lake house was impossible, as Jack's large family was tucked seemingly into every corner of the place. Jack made her feel so good. So good, she couldn't wait until the next time she would see him. It would be another couple of weeks though. She missed him terribly, but knew that there was no point in sulking.
She brushed her hair in front of mirror, pouting and posing for fun as she thought of what to wear to Adam's house. She decided on a simple lavender top and khaki shorts, and got dressed quickly. Grabbing her purse and car keys, she went to tell her parents that she was headed out.
Adam leaned against the kitchen counter, as he mashed potatoes in a large bowl., with quite some force- bits of potato flew out of the melamine Lauren was at the stovetop, attending to a pot of gravy. She looked over to her son, smiling at his effort. Unbeknownst to her, Adam was putting every ounce of frustration-sexual or otherwise into the creation of Connie's favorite side dish.
"What did those potatoes ever do to you? " Lauren asked, smiling taking the bowl from Adam. He smiled sheepishly and muttered an apology. He sat down at the counter.
"I just wanted to make sure they were…um…mashed, " he said. He flipped through a stack of mail and magazines on the counter, then began to tap a spoon onto the counter, frenetic with energy. He was anxious for Connie to get here…to see how she was doing.
"What are you doing?" Lauren asked, placing a hand on top of his, ceasing the tapping.
"Uh, nothing, just getting nervous about Connie I guess. Thought she'd be here by now." Adam said, putting the spoon aside.
"I'm sure she's on her way, " Lauren said reassuringly. She put the spoon back into its rightful drawer. "By the way…are you two…um, " she stammered a bit, trying to figure out how asked. "Dating?"
"What?" Adam asked. "Um, no. We just hang out a lot." The doorbell rang-Connie.
"I'll get it, " he said, leaving the question at that. He got up slowly and gave his mother a withered look of sorts. "She has a boyfriend." He left the kitchen and his mother to her thoughts.
He passed the living room when he went to go get it. On the couch, his older brother Andrew and his girlfriend were lost in their own world, looking at each other and talking softly. Andrew looked up when he saw Adam pass the doorway.
"Who's that?" he asked, breaking out of his seemingly deep conversation.
"Um, Connie, she's joining us for dinner, " Adam said.
"Ah-ha, " Andrew said. He turned to his girlfriend, a petite blonde named Cathy who he met several months ago at an college alumni party. "Connie is Adam's little friend, who Adam is obviously in love with."
"Shut up, " Adam said, through clenched teeth.
"I'm just teasing, bro, " Andrew said back. "I guess dinner's on soon." He and the girlfriend got up and walked passed Adam, Andrew giving his little brother a pat on the shoulder.
"Yeah, sure, " Andrew quipped, as he was led by the girlfriend towards the kitchen.
Adam shook his head. He hurried to answer the door.
"Hey!" Connie said, coming in. They gave each other a hug.
"Hey yourself, " Adam said. "How are you?"
"I'm good, " Connie said. "I'm starving though, " she continued, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Is dinner ready?"
"Ready as it will be, " he said as they headed towards the back of the kitchen. She gave him a knowing look.
"I mashed them myself, Cons, " he said. She pumped her arm in the air and they both laughed.
"What do you want to do after dinner?" she asked, after greeting Mrs. Banks. She offered to help and carried out her coveted potatoes to the dining room where they were going to eat.
"Whatever you want to do, " he said, smiling at her. "You do have to fill me in on your exciting weekend."
"Oh yeah, that too, " she said, giving him a wink. "It was a lot of fun. It was just great to see Jack."
"Yeah, I bet, " Adam said, giving a weak smile. He turned to look at his brother, who was brushing past him with the pot roast. Andrew gave him a sympathetic look, as he had heard Connie mention Jack.
During dinner, Lauren and Connie talked quite a bit, as they usually did when Connie was at dinner. Adam liked that the two got along well. The two women tried to include Cathy into the conversation to no avail.
"So, Adam was missing you while you were away," Lauren mentioned. Adam grew noticeably red. Both Andrew and Cathy stifled a giggle, and Mr. Banks gave a smile and occupied himself with the meal in front of him.
"Oh, really?" Connie said, glancing over at Adam. She felt her own ears turn red at the suggestion.
"Yes, " Lauren said innocently. "He was being a lazy potato all throughout the house the whole time. Charlie had to literally drag him out to go out to the bar. "
"Aha, " Connie said. "Well, we're buddies…I make sure he gets plenty of fresh air." She looked over at Adam, and under the table gave his knee a squeeze. "And I make sure he shaves!" She looked over and gave him and wink. Adam rubbed his chin; he had indeed improved his physical appearance since hanging out with Connie in the very beginning of summer.
After dinner was done, Connie and Adam spent the late evening out on the patio. They sipped on a couple of beers while Connie told Adam about her weekend.
"I really love him, you know?" Connie said, as they swung on the big patio swing. "I've never felt that way about anybody else. Ever. He makes me feel sooooo good." She stretched her legs out in front of her, fondly thinking of the night before.
"Yeah, " he said. It was dark out, so he was assured that Connie couldn't see the look on his face; a simple look of someone's whose hopes had been dashed. He was fighting a losing battle.
The summer was winding down, and the Minnesota Ducks were getting ready to go their separate ways. Charlie had arranged yet another meeting with everyone at McManus' to mark this time of the year: the time of parting. Connie and Adam drove together and were the first ones at the bar. They secured a booth for the rest of the Ducks and ordered a pitcher of High Life.
Connie poured out two tall glasses, "So, you're all set with your stuff right? Did that schedule work out for you?"
"Yeah, " Adam said. "It looks great and you were right, I should just stick to 15 credits instead of the 18." He had confirmed his decision to go back to Boston several weeks ago and Connie was instrumental in helping him figure out what classes to take. Connie helped him look for roommate listings on the student directory. She had also talked him out of overloading himself on classes. In all she had been there for support during the whole process, short of buying a plane ticket to Boston and making sure he got there in one piece.
"Yeah, I know, I'm always right, " she said, nudging him. They drank and talked, still awaiting any of the other Ducks to arrive.
"Jesus, they're always late, "Connie said, checking her watch. The bar had gotten more crowded; they assumed it might be hard for the other Ducks to locate them in the back booth, so they kept a look out at what they could see of the door.
"Fashionably so, " Adam said. They both laughed. He looked over in the direction of the door and noticed a familiar group of girls sitting at one end of the bar. It was the same group of girls that had been there several weeks ago when he had gone with Charlie. They were sitting not too far from the same place Adam and Charlie had seen them last. The petite one with the long blonde hair was there too; she was the one who Charlie had honed in on. Her three friends- two more blonde and a brunette, all pretty and vivacious-Adam was pretty sure that they all had been there before.
Lost in his thoughts about the girls, Adam didn't realize Connie was talking to him. "Adam? Earth to Adam!" she said, over the fracas.
"Huh?" Adam said, turning his attention to Connie. "Sorry, I was just looking at the door."
"Looking at those girls over there is more like it, " she smirked, punching him playfully on the shoulder. "You're boring holes through their shirts-go talk to them."
"Nah, " Adam said, trying to play it cool.
"C'mon, " Connie urged. "Do you want me to be your wing-woman? Or I can go sit over there…so they don't think you're with me." Her phone lit up. She picked it up. "It's Jack, give me a couple of minutes. I just want to tell him hi-I can't believe I'm going to be seeing him soon!" She rattled quickly, giving Adam a huge smile. "Now you have no excuse!"
Adam nodded in acknowledgement as Connie climbed out of the booth to call up Jack, the beloved boyfriend. Since Connie had gotten back from her weekend with Jack, she hadn't stopped raving about how awesome he was, how sweet he was, and everything else girls say when fawning over their boyfriends. He had realized that his feelings for Connie were lost on her, but even though he had these reminders of how Connie was mad about Jack it was hard to let go of his crush. It felt more than a crush, he had thought many times lying in his bed. It was more, she meant more to him than just a pretty girl. She was the one that made everything ok and made him feel special without any particular effort. She was his redemption, if he had to put it in more dramatic terms.
A pretty girl that isn't yours, he thought. He spied her through the large windows to the side of the main entrance of the bar. She was pacing back and fourth, her phone to her ear, smiling and talking to Jack. She was going back to Wisconsin, and he was off to Boston, to start anew.
The brunette in the quartet of girls came into his line of vision. Her three blonde friends were lost in their own conversation, leaving her idling by. She was just as pretty, but not as made up as her companions.
"I love you too, " Connie said to Jack on the phone. She hung up with him, just in time to meet up with Charlie, Goldberg, and Fulton. "Finally!" she said, as Charlie gave her squeeze around the waist. She greeted Fulton and Goldberg as well.
"Sorry, "' he said. "Guy, Jesse, and Aves are heading over now, too. " They proceeded into McManus', and Connie led them to the booth she and Adam had saved. To her surprise, he wasn't there- only his cane, her sweater, and their beers.
"Whoa, Cake-eater's got him a looker, " Goldberg quipped, nudging Connie. They all looked over to the bar. Adam was talking to the brunette girl, and buying her a drink. He looked over at the group and gave a slight smile, but didn't break his attention away from this girl.
"Nice!" Charlie said. "Wait- that's the girl I talked to last time I was here." He got into the booth first, pulling Connie to sit next to him, indicating with a nod the blonde girl, who along with the two other blondes looked a bit slighted that no guys had approached them like Adam did to their friend. "I never called her back. Goldie, get me an Irish Car Bomb."
"Get your own drink!" Goldberg quipped back. Connie and Fulton rolled their eyes, and went to bar. They both neared where Adam had posted himself. Adam looked past his new friend's shoulder and met eye contact with Connie, who winked.
"So, Adam's finally emerged from his hibernation and talking to girls again, " Fulton remarked as he and Connie made their way back to the booth.
" Yeah!" Connie said. " Yeah, " she softened in tone and looked back at him. Both were smiling; the girl was laughing at something Adam had said. Adam was also smiling and laughing. "He'll be fine...he'll be great."
Adam helped Connie put one last box into the backseat of her parents' station wagon. Adam wasn't due back to Boston for another week. Connie was leaving this morning for Madison. Adam had driven over to see her off.
" I think that's it, " she said. Shrugging and biting her lip, she knew it was time to say good-bye. Her and Adam without saying anything, fell into a hug. Adam held the petite brunette in his arms, and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. Connie squeezed him tighter. The summer had brought them closer and were used to spending almost every day together-it was going to be quite a transition. But at the same time, they were going back to the lives that the other wasn't part of.
"I'm going to miss you Adam, " she said. They were still in a hug.
"Me too, Connie, " he said. He gave her one last squeeze and they let go of each other. Promises were made to keep in touch- phone calls, email, instant messenger, etc. Her parents came out and Adam said goodbye to them too. He watched the car pull away, with Connie turning around in the back seat, waving. Adam held up a hand, too. The car turned off her street, and Adam turned to go to his.
Let go, Adam thought. Time to let go.
Seven Months Later
"Hey, Jules, " Connie said into her phone. She had taken a break from studying for an exam and went out to the quad to clear her head. The past week had been stressful enough, and she was going to abandon all her studying in favor for a party- it was Friday and she deserved it. Other than the exams and papers, Jack had been particularly aloof with her all week- she hadn't seen him for more than five minutes since last weekend. This led to them fighting over the phone several times- in between classes, etc. The party was going to be at his friend's house, so Connie hoped to see him there- they hadn't even discussed seeing each other then.
"Hey, Connie, how are you?" Julie answered back. Connie found an empty bench in the quad, and sat down, reclining a bit and stretching out.
"Not much, just stressed as fuck, and it's not even finals, you know? Ugh."
"Yeah, I know. Are you and Jack over your bickering?"
"No-yes-no-I don't know. It's like he's been avoiding me. I know he's excited about being done with college, but I never see him as of late. Am I doing something wrong?"
"Nah, it's definitely not you. Have you ever thought…." Julie paused to phrase this correctly. "…he might be seeing someone else? Behind your back?"
The thought had crossed her mind- but Connie didn't entertain the thought. Though Jack was being particularly shitty, he couldn't be that shitty, she reasoned. In the long-run she did understand him wanting to party out the last couple of months of his college career.
"No, he can't- he's just having fun, "Connie said. "Anyway, um…how's Adam?"
"Adam? Busy as usual. I bumped into him party last week; he's still with Susan, that girl I was telling you about last weekend. She's nice and everything, a little oblivious though. But otherwise, he's doing good- he got into the business program here, so he's really excited. Once school's done, he's starting an internship here. "
"Oh, really?" Connie asked. "So, he's staying in Boston for the summer…"
"Yeah, he didn't tell you? He's moving out with this one guy I'm sort of friends with. "
"No…I haven't heard from him in a while, " Connie said, her voice softening.
Adam and her had made the promise to keep in touch after the summer, but it had been hard. In the beginning, there was a constant back and fourth with emails or the occasional phone call, but those waned as the school year progressed. As Adam was catching up with his life in Boston, he was working harder than ever. He also was trying to get reacquainted with college life- going out, meeting different groups of people, and connecting with friends he had left behind. Along with that, he was still doing physical therapy. Connie missed the chance to see him during Christmas break, as she went skiing with Jack and two weeks earlier for Spring Break, Connie had gone away with her friends for a crazy week in Florida instead of electing to come home. Both were busy with their respective lives, though lately, Connie did long to talk to him, thinking about how helpful he was over the summer when she was being a big bum about Jack.
The two girls talked a little more, and hung up when Connie got a call from Jack. He wanted to meet up for dinner before going out.
"Hello?" Julie answered sleepily. She had finished a late night at the library and had fallen asleep the minute her head hit her pillow. She hadn't even changed into her pajamas. Her finals happened to fall on the last day of classes, as opposed to the regular finals scheduled, so she had been cramming to finish up papers and study for exams for several days straight.
"Hello? Jules?" a teary-sounding voice asked from the other end.
"Connie? Connie, is that you?" Julie asked, straightening up in her bed. She scratched her eyes, and became more alert.
"Yeah, " she replied. All of a sudden, she began to cry uncontrollably, so loud, Julie had to pull the phone away from her ear.
"What's wrong, hon? What happened? You and Jack?"
"J-j-j-j-j-jack and I-I-I-I, " Connie managed to get out, "We br-br-br-oke up!' a series of sniffles an cries were heard. Connie got a hold of herself. "Just now. He just left my suite. No one else was around, I'm sorry Julie for waking you up."
"No, no, honey, it's ok, " Julie said, soothingly. Her heart ached for her friend- she of course didn't like hearing her upset, and Julie was aware that Jack and her were having problems for quite sometime. Julie thought that Connie might have been in denial about the whole relationship hitting the rocks. "What happened?"
"We went out to a party, and he ignored me the whole time. I said I was going to go back to my place early, and he said he would walk me, and I got mad at him for leaving me by myself, and he said he couldn't take it anymore. But what, Julie? I mean, I haven't been horrible to him…I only expected what a girlfriend expects from her boyfriend- not to be ignored at a party for one. " Connie cried a little more, and Julie consoled her.
"You know what the worst part is? He told me that back during the summer he had met some girl at that stupid internship he was at and hooked up with her a couple of times. He cheated on me, Julie! And apparently, he's been getting cozy with some other girls too. Played me for a fool, Julie. And I just denied it. I just thought he was getting his partying out of his system before graduating- you know? Ugh, I'm an idiot. "
"You're not an idiot," Julie said, as Connie cried. "Guys suck, and there is nothing you can do about it now. At least you're rid of him, you know? Now it's your time to have fun…trust me, you're going to feel better in a couple of days- it's not going to hit you now, but it will soon. You're going to be all right."
"Yeah, " Connie said, sniffling. "Ugh, I miss you Julie. I should come and visit you this summer. "
"Yeah! You definitely should, " Julie said. It would be fun indeed. "We can hang out with Adam and stuff, he has cute friends." Connie laughed.
"I don't need to think about other guys just yet, " Connie said. "But yeah, let me let you go, go back to sleep, Jules, you sound exhausted. Thanks for answering your phone, I really appreciaite it."
"Oh, Connie, I know you'd do the same, " Julie said, yawning.
Connie had been nestled in her bed, with her covers wrapped around her. She did feel a little better, still sad of, but better. "This is going to sound silly, but I also called Adam. He didn't pick up, but I'm sure that's expected…he's probably out or something. I don't know…it kind of felt natural to call him about it…but yeah, I haven't talked to him since forever…"
"Yeah, probably, " Julie said. "I haven't even seen him since two weeks ago. He and his new blonde, Natalie are like inseparable. "
"Oh!" Connie said, surprised. At that point, she hadn't talked to Adam since sometime in the fall- the last email was exchanged back in February. The only contact was listening to Adam's voice on his voice-mail recording. "Well, that's good. That's great for him, " she said softly. "Well, thanks Jules for being there. I hear one of my suitemates coming in, so I'll go bother her. "
"No problem, darling, " Julie said, yawning again. "OK, I'll talk to you once this week of hell is over. "
"Just when mine is starting, huh? Great- break up and finals."
"Oh, just think of all the partying you'll be doing afterwards. And bonus- think of all the guys you can pick up now."
"You are right, " Connie said, getting up, wrapping her blanket around her. "Bye, Julie. "
"Bye, Connie. Love ya!"
"Love you too." Connie went to join her roommate to commiserate over junk food.
Adam and Natalie were walking from his apartment to another party. It was a late start, but Adam and Natalie had been busy having sex- their version of 'pre-gaming'. They approached, hand in hand to the loud party house, in his other hand he held a case of beer. He had left the cane behind mid-winter, able to walk successfully without it.
"Adam! Natalie!" one guy shouted from a second floor window. More people greeted the good-looking couple. Adam exchanged chummy handshakes with the guys, and gave several girls friendly kisses on the cheek. As he went to go get something to drink for him and Natalie, he felt his pocket vibrate. It was his cell-phone.
"Hey, babe, " Natalie said, slipping behind Adam, putting her arms around him. She tiptoed and gave him a kiss on the back of his neck. He turned around and gave her a kiss on the forehead, and handed her a beer. The vibrating had stopped, as he was unable to answer the phone call. He excused himself from the crowd and leaned out the back door to see who had called.
"Connie," he said. There was no message left, so he shrugged. So weird, why would she call so late? He thought.
"Babe!" Natalie yelled, leaning out of the back door. "McCarthy and Jacob are looking for you! Lauren also says you owe her ten bucks because you wore JCrew to the mixer last week. "
"Be right there! " he said, laughing, pocketing his cell phone. He hadn't talked to Connie in ages. She probably dialed incorrectly, or something, he thought. Why would she want to talk at one in the morning? He shrugged, and thought about shooting her an email sometime that weekend in between studying and flag football and more parties. He went back to the party.
That email never happened. And they both went on, with their lives.
Out of sight, out of mind, out of reach.
The last line is from a Get Up Kids song, which I've been listening to nonstop out of nostalgia. The song (Out of Reach) doesn't totally correspond to the story line, but this was on when I was trying to figure out a chapter title, and it fit. :) Please review!