Aaron watched Jackson and Joe enter Dale Head, Joe had just driven the three of them back after their drink in Bar West, he looked at his phone to check the time, it was now just after seven pm. They'd stayed for just over an hour and a half but Aaron had ended up spending a significant amount of time on the phone with Dean – the other man had informed him that he was finished in New York and would be jumping on a plane in the morning. They'd ended up having an argument because Aaron had had to inform his boyfriend that he was in fact in the UK and understandably so, Dean had not been impressed. Mostly he'd been in utter disbelief that Aaron could just run off to another country without telling him, even Aaron's explanation that he thought he'd be back before Deans trip ended – didn't seem to go well. He had told him that his Mum was in a bit of trouble financially and Aaron had come back to sort her out and at no point did he mention the name Jackson or divulge anything about messages. The phone call had lasted forty five minutes and by the end Dean seemed to have come round, he did after all know Aaron well – he knew how private he could be.

Relieved Aaron had returned to Jackson and Joe but something had shifted during his absence, suddenly all Jackson had wanted to talk about was Dean. He wanted find out every detail about his life in Dubai and Joe was joining in and between the two of them it felt like he was being tag teamed. Jackson kept reiterating how fantastic Aaron's life was now and how great Dean sounded; it had left Aaron exhausted especially as he knew it was bullshit because before the phone call Jackson had been giving him completely different signals.

And this is what he couldn't ignore, he couldn't ignore the intense strong attraction that he still felt for Jackson, that he'd always felt for the other man. He realised that being in Dubai had been like seeing their relationship through opaque windows – the view was still the same on the other side, just muddled. This was why he'd come back because he couldn't live the rest of his life without knowing, his future was all set out now, all planned, but the doubts stayed sat in the back of his mind and that message had brought them to the forefront.

Aaron sighed and glanced up towards Dale Head, he loved Dean and he loved Jackson, the question was who did he love more?

"Hello love," he was pulled from his thoughts by the old lady wobbling towards him; Betty was looking far older than when he'd last been here. Since his return he'd seen her around the village a few times from a distance but they'd not spoken, she'd always been a nosey woman who thrived on village gossip – definitely a person to stay away from.

She stopped right in front of him, "I was saying to your mum earlier how nice it was that you've come back." He bet she had, no doubt trying to get inside information. "Is this just a visit?"

Something caught Aaron's eye and he realised that Jackson was watching him from the window of Dale Head; he looked back and suddenly really wanted to go in but Betty was still stood in front of him talking away.

"Sorry?" he asked

"How long are you staying for?"

Aaron shook his head, "a few days," he wanted rid of this women.

"Ahhh well, it's nice to see you doing so well," she moved towards him discreetly, "especially in light of everything that's happened."

He straightened at her in response, 'everything that's happened?' he thought, 'prying, crazy old woman needs to mind her own business'. Instead he just smiled, "thanks," he said and then glanced back at the window, Jackson had gone. He felt instantly deflated, it was probably better though – he needed to think.

The pub was fairly busy for a Monday night, his mother wasn't on the bar and he didn't know the staff there, so he just said hello politely and disappeared through to the back. Immediately when he stepped into the room he could see his mother's jet black hair, she was sat in silence in the living room and so he walked round the sofa to chat to her. He plonked himself onto the arm of the opposite chair and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "alright?"

"Where have you been?" The room was deathly still and there was something strange about her, she was holding herself taught and pursing her lips together, "into town," he answered, he could see she'd been crying and Aaron was instantly alarmed, "what's wrong?"

He watched her take a deep jagged breath and then she suddenly lifted her hand and threw something at him, Aaron instinctually caught it and for a second he curiously glanced at the object, his blood then ran cold.

In his hands sat the cardboard packet for his Eskalith prescription.

He looked up at her, feeling the anger course his veins, "where did you get this from?"

"I found it."

He couldn't look at her, he felt sick, "I bet you did."

She glared at him as fresh tears formed in her eyes, "didn't know what they were for though, had to get Paddy to look it up on the internet."

And no doubt Cain and Zak and Adam as well, he could feel himself start to shake furiously, "you had no right to do that." His words seemed to cause something in Chastity to snap, she suddenly leaned forward, bearing her teeth, "no right, I'm your mother!"

He couldn't believe this, why was this happening? This woman didn't know how to stay out of his life. "Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?" Aaron stared at the glass table top in the middle of the room. "You haven't been drinking Aaron, and you've been sick and giddy."

"Comparing notes were you?"

"Yes!"

Aaron swallowed hard and rapidly jarred his leg up and down, agitated; everything was unravelling – all his best intentions undone because people didn't know how to stay out of his life.

Chastity sniffed heavily, her jaw was clenched tightly, "so why are you on mood stabilizers?"

He jumped up from his chair and started rubbing at his forehead, "Oh come on you know the answer!"

"I want to hear it from you!"

She was stood in front of him now – invading his space, "how can I look after you, when I don't know what's going on!"

"I don't need looking after!"

"Oh no of course you don't!" she raised her arms in a mocking 'eureka' way, "there's nothing wrong with you is there!"

He flecked his jaw muscles, "no."

"Oh right yeah sure," his mother suddenly reached for the box in Aaron's hand and pointed aggressively at the instructions, "July 2018, that's the date on these pills, which means you were prescribed them three weeks ago!" Aaron didn't get her point. "You've obviously haven't been on them before otherwise you wouldn't be having those side effects." He felt like punching the stupid women in the face, she'd obviously sat working it all out and no doubt bought a whole load of other people into the conversation.

"And suddenly you've turned up on my doorstep, days after Jackson's emailed you!"

She knew about that? "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Oh you think its rational do you to suddenly fly thousands of miles to see a man who dumped you four years ago?" He closed his eyes tightly, just wanting this to all go away. "Aaron," Chastity approached him, sounding slightly calmer but the pleading was evident in her voice, "you haven't wanted to even hear Jackson's name and now suddenly three weeks after being diagnosed, you come running back. Can't you see that that man makes you ill?"

She'd put two and two together and come up with seven, why did she alway think she knew everything? "So what, wanting to see Jackson is a sign of mental illness?"

"You know what he does to you," his mother tapped the side of her head, "in here."

He felt deflated, they were here again, right back to the beginning, when his mother wouldn't allow him to leave the house alone, scared for his safety and would sit there watching him eat every meal. Upon his discharge from the hospital, she'd removed the locks on the bathroom and thrown anything dangerous that he could harm himself with. It didn't seem to matter that the Doctors were happy with his progress, she just didn't trust his state of mind, "you don't know what you're talking about," he responded dejectedly.

"So tell me."

"fine," he squared his jaws, "you want to know the real reason it's taken so long for me to come back?"

"Ok." Aaron looked her straight in the eyes, "it's because of you." Chastity stepped back slightly, "because of all this bullshit."

"What."

He lowered his voice and clenched his jaw, eyes brimming with tears, "because you treat me the way you do, when you're around, I feel like a piece of crap."

"Aaron –"

The next sentence was spelt out slowly, "because… I… hate… you."

Aaron had left after that, his mother stood in the middle of the room, crying tears of her own and Aaron had just fled, not really sure where he was going. Once outside he gulped huge breaths of air and shook for a moment, what was it about that woman that made him react so hurtful? He didn't mean it, he didn't know what he meant or what the hell he was doing, everything was a mess and he just couldn't see a way to fix things.

He walked and then stopped because he needed to be somewhere safe, somewhere that made him feel good, in front of him stood Dale Head and instantly he knew that he needed Jackson.

Thought I'd add a little note here, to say thank you to everyone who has continued to read my story. I know it's been a slow burner and I hope you're not getting too frustrated when chapters are not going where you predict. I have a clear idea how to get to that reunion and I hope you all enjoy the ride.