Today: Legion of Superheroes. God, I loathe that show... :(

Plagiarism

"Oh man, we are so original!" Declared Cyborg one day. "I mean, really. Look at us. We are so dayamn original."

"Hmmmmmmmm," said everyone else, not agreeing.

"What's up, y'all?" Cyborg asked.

"Well, precisely that, Cyborg," said Raven. "You just said "y'all", typical urban African-American lingo, as is just about everything else you say."

"I guess we gotta face it," Beast Boy sighed. "We're all total stereotypes. I'm the youngest one, and the practical joker."

"Not that your jokes are funny," Raven replied scathingly. "There, you see," she went on, sounding almost apologetic. "I couldn't help doing that. I'm the anti-social goth-type chick who puts everyone down to hide my pain, or… something."

"I'm the cool leader guy," said Robin, preening. "Also the team hottie with the best hair. And I have a catchphrase."

"Uh… I suppose that I am the naïve and sweet girlie-girl," Starfire said.

Raven gave a cough that sounded remarkably like "bimbo". Remarkably.

"I also stand in for the notion of the "foreign exchange student"," Starfire went on obliviously. "Thus much humor can be procured from my crazy and hilarious antics."

"And where does that leave me?" Cyborg wailed.

"Token black guy," everyone said together. "Duh."

"Well, gee, y'all," Cyborg said flatly, with emphasis, "thanks for pointing that out."

"Racist," Beast Boy noted.

"But true," Raven finished.

There was silence for a while; and then Cyborg, determined not to give up, suddenly said:

"Okay, well… this team is original," he said pointedly. "Take a bunch of totally different superheroes and shove them altogether and—"

"No," said Robin, scratching his hair. "I recall Justice League coming way before Teen Titans. In fact, I think we knocked them off their Miguzi slot…"

Cyborg pouted.

"Well, how about the notion of watching a group of people trying not to kill each other as they try to live together in one big house—"

"Big Brother," Beast Boy put in.

"Anime-influenced Western animation?" Cyborg tried.

"Much as it pains me to say this," Raven said with a twitch and a grimace, "Totally Spies predates us by two whole years."

"Ah!" Starfire cried. "But I see what Cyborg is saying! When you put all of those elements together, we are truly unique!"

Everyone smiled and nodded, until—

"NOT ANYMORE!!!111!" Cried a voice.

The Teen Titans all turned and looked at a bunch of other anime-inspired Western animated teenaged superhero characters, formulated into a team and led by a decades-old and highly recognizable pop culture figure.

Which was their formula.

But this wasn't them. Obviously. Because that wouldn't have made any sense, unless they were looking a mirror, which they weren't, or we can at least assume they weren't, because there was no narrative indication given as such, but—

Anyway, the Titans knew in an instant who this new crew were; and they all suddenly became angry, for they suspected that it was the development of this show (which, FYI, was a direct rip-off of their own show) had led to the cancellation of Season Six.

A boy in red and blue… oh, who are we kidding?! It was SUPERMAN. Or SUPERBOY. Or WHATEVER. It was Superman in kid form from the past and brought to the future to save the world or some crap like that.

"I'm SUPERMAN/BOY!!111!" Said SUPERMAN/BOY. "We are the Legion of Superheroes. Here to protect the universe, that is if we don't kill each other first!"

"Hey!" Beast Boy cried indignantly. "That's our slogan!"

"Actually, Beast Boy," Robin corrected, "our slogan differs between "Truth, Justice, Pizza", and… uh, something that sounds very similar to what SUPERMAN/BOY over there just said, but not word for word."

SUPERMAN/BOY flew over to Robin and backslapped him across the face.

"Shut up, bitch!" He said. "I precede even you by four entire years! Whatcha got on 1936, by-otch? Nothin', that's what! And I got laser eyes! LASER EYES!!!!111111!"

"Yeah," said Robin, backslapping SUPERMAN/BOY right back. "But I got a better team than you, bitch!"

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

SUPERMAN/BOY paused for a moment, then gestured to his team.

"My team totally kicks your team's a$$!" He declared. "Behold, Planet Girl! She's the hot one."

Robin pointed at Starfire.

"Got one of those. And she's better stacked than 'Planet Girl'."

SUPERMAN/BOY pointed at the floating girl with long black hair.

"Creepy goth chick!"

"Got one. And again, I point out, she OWNS your creepy goth chick's a$$!"

"Green kid?!" SUPERMAN/BOY asked desperately.

Robin pointed wordlessly at Beast Boy.

"And, to nail you," Robin finished haughtily, going in for the kill, "we have a token black guy! Beat that, SUPERMAN/BOY!"

"This is not over!" SUPERMAN/BOY raged. "We challenge you to see who is the better anime-influenced Western teenaged superhero cartoon!"

The rest of the Legion (who were not named because quite honestly I don't know what they are all called, nor do I care enough to go and look it up on Wikipedia) all nodded in agreement.

"Yeah!" They all said.

"Hey hey hey!" Someone suddenly said. It was a referee, and he blew his whistle on the two teams. "You can't just start fighting. There's a queue!"

"A queue for what?" Robin demanded.

"Plagiarism disputes, of course!" Cried the referee. "There's a list. You'll just have to join it!"

"Who else is on the list?" Raven asked, not that she was really very interested.

"Well, we got Buffy the Vampire Slayer complaining against Charmed, a Japanese animation company complaining against Disney – something about The Lion King, I think – Pokémon against Digimon, everything else in the entire fictional world against Harry Potter and, most importantly, The Simpsons against Family Guy."

"Okay, sign us up!" Said Robin and SUPERMAN/BOY.

SUDDENLY…

Cyborg woke up and realized that it had all been a dream!

"Wow," he said. "That was a ridiculously lame cop-out. Not as ridiculous as the idea that WB would cancel our show to replace it with an identical show, but with SUPERMAN/BOY in it instead of Robin, though."

He laughed crazily.

"But even they're not that retarded!"

Then he said "Booyah" and some other token black guy things and went back to sleep.

The End