To all of you who have taken the time to leave me a few kind and encouraging words, thank you. I sincerely hope you feel this chapter was worth the wait.

My beta is Mullet86. She's as beautiful as she is kind.

SM still owns everything Twilight. Big thanks to her for allowing us to play with her toys.

Reflections

Chapter 21

With every bit of hatred that he'd planted over a year ago, and all of the confidence I'd gained over the summer pushing me forward, I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and turned to face the boy I used to love.

Those lips I'd once thought of as perfect, lost their smirk as recognition crossed his now pale face.

"Bella?" He said my name in a breathy whisper.

"Hello, Edward."

Edward stumbled back at my cool greeting; his cheeks went slack as all of the color drained from his face.

The cocky demeanor he'd been displaying to everyone only a moment ago vanished as he took in my presence.

He looked lost, so much like the Edward I'd remembered from my first visit to Forks. But I held my ground against his searching green gaze.

I was the hurt party here.

A harsh silence fell over the table as they all took in the scene between Edward and me.

Edward was the first to break.

"What are you doing…when did you get here?" He stammered.

"She got here this weekend." Jasper spat, taking my arm and pulling me away. "Now move back."

"Wait!" Edward's hand shot forward as if to stop me, but seeing Jasper's glare, quickly let it fall to his side.

He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

I was momentarily stunned by the hurt echoing in his questions, but quickly tamped it down at the sound of Tanya's nasally voice.

"Look Lauren, it's Becca."

"Hey, Becca. What's new?"

"Definitely not that hair style or those jeans." Both girls erupted into laughter.

Before I could open my mouth to tell them to go to hell, Rose beat me to it.

"Tanya, you're such a bitch."

"Screw you, Rose." Lauren quickly bit back.

Rose smiled and leaned forward in her chair. "Why don't you and Slutanya slide your ample asses back on over to the locker room. I hear the golf team is practicing getting their balls in holes. That should be right up your alley."

Tanya's cheeks heated to a medium-rare pink at Rose's words.

"Oh look, Tan, Rose was able to take Emmett's dick out of her mouth long enough to string a whole sentence together. Rose's eyes narrowed at Lauren and her lips curled evilly as she opened her mouth to fire off a retort.

The squeal of Rose's chair echoed throughout the room as she pushed roughly from the table. "At least my man can rest assured that his dick is the only one my mouth touches. We can't say the same for you two whores." She pointed at a red-faced Lauren.

Alice, sensing a battle was about to begin, jumped from her seat and stood in between Rose and Lauren. "Ladies, ladies, this really isn't the place…"

"Shut up dwarf." Tanya fired.

Alice pulled herself up to her full height of about five feet and prepared to launch herself at the taller girl. Jasper quickly moved from my side and grabbed Alice around the waist, stopping her forward momentum.

"Babe, no."

"But she called me a dwarf!"

"If the pointed shoe fits…" Tanya pointed to Alice's petite feet.

"That's an elf you moron!" Alice screamed.

Lauren turned to Tanya with an evil smile. "She's right, Tanya. Dwarves are stockier and have ugly hair everywhere. Alice is definitely a dwarf." Both girls laughed.

Jasper was barely able to contain Alice as she struggled to get at Tanya and Lauren.

Emmett didn't even attempt to hide his chuckle as his girlfriend referred to Tanya and Lauren as loose women.

Tanya petulantly stomped her foot. "Eddie, are you going to let her talk to us like that?"

I tore my eyes from the floor show and looked at Edward, fully expecting him to defend them. He ignored Tanya; his eyes were glued to me.

The surprised expression on his face hadn't changed since he'd first seen me.

While Emmett, Jasper, and by this time the entire Fork's high school student body watched, the girls continued trading insults.

As the name-calling flew around us, Edward and I stood staring at each other in silence.

I steadily grew uncomfortable under his intense green gaze and began to fidget, breaking my eyes from him to stare at the very uninteresting toe of my shoe.

Soon, another set of shoes joined mine. Edward and I were toe to toe.

I took a deep breath and met his bewildered gaze. "Bella, why did you leave me?"

His voice was so low I could barely hear his words.

My heart clenched at the miserable sound of his voice, but quickly hardened.

Be strong Bella. Show him that you're not the same girl that you were a year ago.

Steeling myself for the words to come, I looked him straight in the eyes. "I guess I got tired of being lied to." Surprisingly my voice didn't betray me; my words were clear and calm.

Edward's eyes widened. "I don't understand. I've never lied to you." As calm as my voice was, his was shaky.

My eyes shot back to his face. He sounded as if he actually believed what he was saying.

He sounded so sad.

For a moment I was oblivious to all of the chaos going on around us and really looked at the boy standing in front of me.

Edward sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. The familiar nervous gesture made him look so much like the boy I used to know.

I saw the boy that had befriended me and defended me against the very girls that were now trading insults with his brother's girlfriend.

The boy who I'd spent hours playing board games, watching movies and reading comic books with on long summer days.

The boy that had included me in his schemes to take over his brother's tree house and against the odds talked his mother into allowing him to give up on her dreams of having a professional ballet dancer for a son, so he could follow his dream of playing baseball.

That boy was standing in front of me with pain in his voice and confusion in his eyes.

Maybe I owed him an explanation?

No.

In between seeing the boy that had been my only friend, my whole world, I also saw the boy who stood on my aunt's deck and spoke those horrible words that broke my heart.

"That's a lie." I said flatly, taking a step back from him. As much as I hated to admit it, having him so close made it difficult to keep a clear head.

His eyes grew wide. "What are you talking about? You're not making any sense. Let's go somewhere quiet and talk." He angrily replied and moved forward to grab my arm.

"Don't." I ordered, moving out of his grasp.

His arm dropped to his side with a frustrated huff. "Bella, you're acting crazy. You stood me up for the dance, ran off in the middle of the night and then stopped talking to me." His voice took on a more demanding tone. "You owe me an explanation."

His demand fell flat at my feet.

I owed him nothing.

I'd noticed the changes in him the minute he'd walked into the cafeteria.

It was time he learned that I'd changed too. "After what you did, I don't owe you a damn thing!"

Edward stumbled back, as if I'd hit him in the chest with my fist rather than my words.

"What the hell are you talking about? You lied to me!"

He wasn't going to make me buckle.

I took a deep breath and held my ground.

The new Edward smirked at my defiance. "What? You don't believe me? You don't think making me believe that I meant something to you and then just throwing me away isn't lying? Don't forget it was you who left. And it was you who wouldn't return my calls or emails for an entire year! He fumed, punctuating each 'you' with a finger point to me.

Even though he'd not raised his voice, Edward's chest heaved with the exertion of his words.

"You didn't even say goodbye."

I winced at his accusations.

When I'd envisioned our first meeting upon my return, I in no way expected to feel the kind of pain that his words evoked.

My head dropped so I couldn't see his face and he couldn't see mine.

He was right. I did those things. And I'd felt more than justified in doing them, as he'd done the lying and throwing away first. But as hard as I tried, I couldn't push down the feeling that I'd been a tiny bit wrong in the way I handled things.

He'd clearly been hurt by my actions. The question was, was my hurt worse than his?

I furiously chewed the inside of my cheek as his accusations sunk in.

Before I had a chance to think any further on Edward's words, we were interrupted by a demand from Tanya. "Eddie, tell your brother's whore to apologize to us!"

To her and my surprise, Edward ignored her and continued staring at me. I stiffened slightly when both Lauren and Tanya slinked from behind him and wrapped their manicured fingers around his thick upper arms.

Their smiles were fake, but their intent was clear. They were making sure I understood that he belonged to them.

Edward shifted slightly at their touch, but didn't shake them off.

"So Bella, you've come back. Will you be leaving in the middle of the night again or are you planning to stick around this time?" Tanya's mouth curled into a cruel smile.

"Don't forget to stop speaking to the only friend you ever had while you're at it too." Lauren's mouth mirrored her friend's bright red smile.

Apparently Edward had confided in them about my departure.

I wondered what else he'd done with them.

At their not so subtle reminders of how I'd left, all appearances of the boy I knew disappeared and the arrogant Edward that had walked into the cafeteria not ten minutes ago was back.

As was the boy who had lied when he told me I was very important to him and that he'd never hurt me. And so was the jerk that lied to me and told his other friends that the only reason he spent any time with me was because his mother paid him to paid to spend time with the fat girl that no one liked.

"Eddie, we only have a few minutes left and I'm famished." Lauren whined.

"Yeah, let's go find a better class of people to eat with." Tanya huffed while turning her nose up at my cousin and his friends.

Edward was silent as the girls began tugging him towards the lunch counter, but his mask of arrogance was firmly back in place. His eyes were cold and the stiffness had returned to his shoulders.

They'd walked just a few feet away when Edward turned back towards the group and came to a stop right in front of me.

"Welcome back Bella." I took a step back as he leaned in. His scent was as intoxicating as the sneer he wore was ugly. "Stay the fuck out of my way. I no longer have time for people like you."

The venom practically dripped from his mouth.

I watched them walk away wondering where the old Edward had gone?

If he'd even been here at all.

"Are you okay Bella?" I nodded quickly at Jasper's question. I didn't trust myself to speak.

All the bravado I'd started out the day with, had slowly disappeared.

Emmett came around and put his arm around my shoulders, giving me a gentle squeeze. "Sorry about all that. Edward has become a bit of an…"

"Asshole." Emmett gave Rose a withering look. "What? He's an asshole and he hangs around with assholes." Rose shrugged, taking a drink of her bottled water.

Emmett sighed. "He's um, changed in the year you've been gone." I wanted to point out that he'd changed before then, but it was clear that in the year I'd been gone, he'd gotten worse.

"You know, I could handle him being an asshole if he'd drop the skank twins. They make my skin crawl." Rose shuddered with revulsion. There was clearly more to her dislike of Tanya and Lauren than the obvious.

"Well, we all know that's not going to happen. Those two have their hooks so deep into him he'll carry the scars for life." Alice snorted.

My confrontation with Edward had lasted less than fifteen minutes, yet I knew Alice's statement was correct.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

I hadn't eaten a thing and yet my stomach wasn't growling in hunger. Instead, I felt as if I'd swallowed a bowling ball.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. I followed Rose and Jasper to literature class and sat quietly as the teacher went over the readings we'd be discussing over this semester, my fight with Edward replayed in my head.

By the time I met Alice and Emmett in gym, I was rethinking every action I'd taken a year ago.

Instead of learning the intricacies of volleyball, I swatted at the questions swimming around in my head, paying no attention to the balls that whizzed around my head.

The ride home was an extension of my afternoon. All of the hate I'd felt was in direct turmoil with the feelings that my conversation with Edward had roused.

I still hurt, I still felt betrayed, but seeing him in person, hearing his voice…made me wonder if that's all I felt.

"You're not going to be able to keep mom at bay for much longer." With Jasper speaking to me again, the car ride home was a lot more comfortable than the ride to school.

My head lolled against the window. "Yeah, I know." The day's exertion had taken its toll. I could barely hold my head up.

"And you still owe us an explanation. And when I say us, I mean Emmett and me. Edward can suck it." After today's display in the lunchroom, it was clear that Edward was no longer on Jasper's favorite person list.

I observed my cousin's posture as he drove. I wondered if he was aware that when he spoke about Edward, his fingers clenched slightly on the wheel.

"Jasper, do you think it's possible to pretend something for years without the other person figuring out they're being lied to?"

"Um, I guess it's possible but the person lying would have to be a pretty damn good liar and the other person would need to be fairly gullible. Why?"

"Just wondering." I sighed and pressed back against the cool seat. Was Edward that good of a liar? I tried and couldn't come up with another instance where I'd caught him in a lie.

"Bella, it's obvious something heavy happened between you and Edward. It had to be pretty bad to make you leave like you did and for him to fully embrace the lifestyle of a giant ass hat."

"How bad has it been?" I blurted before I could think about what I was asking.

"Bad."

"Jasper." He knew I needed more.

His eyes flicked quickly at me before returning to the road. "You sure?" I nodded.

"Right after you left, Emmett swore he could hear Edward crying in his room at night," Jasper paused at the stop light and turned right towards Charlie's house. "You'd been gone about a week when I found him up in the tree house surrounded by comic books. He wasn't reading them, he just, he was just staring at them. When I asked what he was doing, he ignored me and climbed down and walked away."

We pulled into Charlie's driveway. Jasper turned the car off and leaned his arms onto the steering wheel, staring out the window. "At first, he was hanging around with Em and me like old times. We played catch, went to the movies…we even took it easy on him because it was evident he was hurting." I wanted to tell him to stop, but I'd asked for this.

Jasper leaned back into his seat and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, "When you stopped talking to me and Emmett, Edward got worse. He stopped hanging with us and started spending all of his time with the guys from the team and the dugout dollies." At my confused look, he explained that girls like Lauren and Tanya who tried to score with baseball players were referred to as 'dugout dollies'.

"Anyway, by Christmas we barely saw him except at school and even then he ignored us. Once school was out and the baseball season was in full swing, I didn't see him at all. Em still got a glimpse of him every once in awhile when Esme decreed a family dinner or fun day. But things weren't the same. Edward and Em, you know they've always fought and stuff like normal brothers, but they were also friends. Now, Edward treats him like the enemy. You saw what happened today." Of course I had. It had been awful.

"That's normal operating procedure now. He walks in with the flavor of the month, they trade insults with Rose, Edward says something douchie and we all tell him to leave." I cringed at the thought of Edward 'tasting' either one of those girls, or any girl if I was being honest.

"Edward has become one of those douche bag jocks that thinks his shit doesn't stink. For Christ sakes! Emmett was an All State tackle last year and will probably get a scholarship to the college of his choice, but you don't see him acting even remotely like an asshole."

My heart fell. I didn't know Emmett had become a football standout. As his friend, I should have known. While I'd been attending Friday night games in Phoenix, rooting for players that I cared nothing about, my friend was becoming a football star and I didn't even congratulate him.

I've been so caught up in my hurt, my betrayal that I'd been a terrible friend to Emmett.

"He's rude to the underclassman, even though by age he is an underclassman," Jasper shifted so he could look at me. "He stays out all night with the other assholes on the team and he's drinking like a thirty year old has-been."

Edward was drinking and staying out all night?

"Emmett and Edward are the closest to having brothers I'll ever get and like Emmett, I feel as though I've lost a little brother," he paused and looked at me across the console of his car. "And a sister." I felt the knife twist in my heart.

I was a terrible cousin.

"B, when you guys were talking, I saw him change. For a minute there, I could have sworn I saw the old Edward. Did you see it?"

I nodded slowly and looked out the window. Jasper was far too perceptive for me to allow him to see my eyes.

I heard him sigh from his seat. "Then there's still hope we can fix him."

We?

"Jasper, I don't think I can…"

"Hey, you and Edward were as close as two people could get. Judging from what I saw today, there's still hope," he leaned over the console and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "For both of you."

Okay, I'm fully prepared to receive more hate mail for Edward. But before you grab a shovel and start digging a hole, I ask that you hang with me. I won't lie. He's a bit slow on the uptake so changes won't happen over night, but they'll happen. I'm a HUGE fan of a redeemable Edward and this one has a special place in my heart.

Thank you all for reading! And thanks to the gorgeous Robert Pattinson, for constantly giving me such beautiful visuals to keep me company as I write.

Enjoy!

ruinedbyrob