A/N: Happy Sunday! Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Here is the last chapter before the epilogue and I hope you all like it. I did my best to edit the heck out of it but I know there are going to be some mistakes. I love all the reviews and what everyone thought, Ray and Carrick have always seemed like jerks to me so I wanted to write them in a bad light in one of my stories! Thank you all for this amazing ride.
As always the mistakes are mine. Enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-One
{Anastasia}
3 Months later
I'm staring down at the headstone and wonder how things could've been different. If I'd made a better decision or picked a different door at the beginning. I think I'll always wonder now but have to move on and hope that from here on out to live each day to the fullest without any regret. One thing I've learned from all of this is that you're not guaranteed tomorrow so live today as if it's your last.
Ray's trial has come to an end last week and I'm thankful that I'll never have to experience something like that ever again. Having the Grey name helped push it along quickly and his defense didn't put up much of a fight. Taking the stand was the hardest feat I've ever had to endure. Knowing that I was giving testimony that will put my dad behind bars was hard. No, it was horrible. A nightmare. His attorney tried to blame PTSD for the cause and I hate that they tried to use a scapegoat to get him off. Mine and Christian's entire relationship was put under a microscope.
"Mrs. Grey, can you please describe your time living with your mother, Carla Adams and Stephen Morton." Mr. Russell, Ray's lead attorney, asks.
I sit there for a second never wanting to revisit that part of my life.
"It was not a good environment for anyone much less a child to live in."
"Was there any type of abuse in the household?"
"Yes."
"Can you describe it to the jury, please?"
"I don't see how that is relevant to this case." I snap.
"Mrs. Grey, you going through that horrible time just further proves that my client was trying to not let that situation ever happen again."
"I'm not sure how being choked or beaten within an inch of my life has to do Ray. He wasn't there, I was the one who endured it. And him trying to justify his actions by bringing up my past is the worst possible thing he could do. He did this on his own and he was in his right mind when he followed through with it. No one could formulate a plan so calculated and not be sane."
"Mrs. Grey, did your husband ever try to manhandle you or do something to you that you protested or didn't like?"
"Never."
"Is it true that your husband practices BDSM?"
"What does that have to do with the price of beans?"
"Objection!" The prosecution yells stopping me from answering.
The trial is closed to the public but I still don't want our private sex life out there for others to scrutinize. It's really none of their business and it has nothing to do with this trial.
It only took the jury three hours to decide that he was guilty but the kicker was that they bought some of the PTSD and sentenced him to life in a mental hospital that is run by the state. He killed another human being and he's now getting to stay in a place where he'll get unlimited TV and bingo nights, while the other is buried and never going to see another day. At least he has no communication with the outside world.
It's not fair but then again life isn't either.
"Ana? You ready to head back?" Ryan asks coming up from the car.
"Sure." I place the flowers in the vase beside the headstone and kiss my fingers then place them on the top.
"I'm getting married today. I know that you're probably turning over down there because of it but I hope that you'd be happy for me. He's a good man and loves me with his whole heart and has from the moment he saw me. You'll always hold a special place in my heart even though I'm mad as hell at you." I think back to the first time we met and smile.
You heard right, I'm getting married today. This is my second time or is it my third since I had the paperwork to show that Luke and I married even though it was fake?
Anyway, after the shooting and the speedy trial I was the one who pushed for it. As I said, life is too short not to live each day to the fullest and I didn't want to waste anymore time in being happy. This is the right choice for me and Harper. She's super excited because she gets to wear a beautiful dress.
Pulling up to the ranch, we decided that we wanted to stay here in Seattle but find a place with some land so that Harper could continue to have her animals to feed and play with. After the trial I couldn't get out of the city quick enough. We found a beautiful forty-acre lot with a beautiful house already on it ready to move in. It belonged to a Senator who was looking to down size after losing an election.
"There she is!" I hear Kate yell down from the upstairs.
The house is huge and has plenty of room for our growing family. Six bedrooms, nine bathrooms, game room, gym, theater, and an awesome library. The kitchen is amazing and Gail has practically lived there since we moved in. I'm so glad she is here to help me through everything. Gail has always mothered me and she treats me more like a daughter than employer. The property also has several living quarters and three barns.
"I'm here, I'm here." I say as I walk my happy self over to the kitchen where Gail is killing it in there with the meal for later. I told her that I'd have the small reception catered but she wouldn't hear of it.
My stomach roars announcing me and Gail immediately opens the fridge and hands me salsa as I already have a bowl of chips in hand. This little one wants nothing but salt. With Harper I wanted nothing but sweets, it's crazy how one pregnancy is completely different from another one.
"Are you ready for this evening, Ana?" Gail asks as she pulls out some food from the oven.
"More than ready, I don't think I'm nervous as I was when I got married the first time."
"Really? How so?"
"Well, marrying Seattle's Golden Boy was a lot of pressure and I felt like one wrong move and I was going to be crucified. Now I'm just me and everything seems more laid back. No pressure at all." I smile as I chomp down several chips at once.
"Have you heard from my groom?" I ask once I've eaten half the jar of salsa and rub my five-month pregnant belly.
Gail gives me a look and I know it well.
"I know you're not happy about this decision but I really know what I want or I wouldn't have proposed to him."
"It's not that I'm not happy but cautious. You've been through a lot over the last few years and I want you to do what is right for you but also make sure you've had time to heal."
"I understand where you're coming from and love you for it. Thank you for being amazing these past few months."
"I only want the best for you and see you succeed in whatever it is you want, even if it's rushing into marrying that man today." She says and we both burst out in giggles.
"Hey, I need the bride to do her hair up there. Harper is trying to put bows on the dogs and paint their nails. Zeus is not having it and going crazy trying to escape." Kate says coming in the kitchen and swiping a cookie from the plate by the oven.
"I'm coming." I hop down from the stool and start to walk that way.
"We only have less than two hours before the wedding starts and we have so much to do." Kate stresses.
"Can't we just wear pajamas? And wear my hair up in a bun?" I whine at having to get all dolled up.
"Have you lost your mind? Ana you only get married once…" She pauses and then clamps her mouth shut. "I mean twice?" She pauses again only for us to bust a gut laughing.
Once we get our fits of laughter under control the beauty squad does their magic and works me over.
Shortly after that Harper comes in wearing her beautiful white lace tea length dress with a pair of brown cowboy boots on with her hair up in a curly ponytail with a matching headband. She looks adorable and is the most beautiful flower girl ever.
As I put on my lace matching dress, Harper and I look like twins. The groom left me a perfect pair of baby blue earrings with diamonds around the outside. They not only match my eyes but the bottoms of my heels that are the same color but were specially made and dipped in baby blue glitter.
Harper loves having our picture taken together and I think we have a little ham on our hands. After we take a million photos Kate comes in all dressed with Gail behind her.
"Oh Ana, you look so beautiful." Gail gushes.
"Picture perfect." Kate interjects.
"You sure?" I turn back to the full-length mirror and place my hand on my protruding belly.
"Absolutely." They both cheer and we make our way carefully down the stairs with the help of Ryan.
"You can turn back now. I've got a getaway car ready and JP can have the jet ready to go with one phone call." Kate says as she stops me from opening the back door to head out to our ceremony.
"Kate, I promise this is what I want. Thank you for helping me do all this."
"Hey, it's good practice for mine that's coming up." She blushes and I couldn't be happier for her.
When she was in town after the shooting Elliott tried to talk with her so they sat down at a quiet bar and had that long-awaited talk. They actually talked and didn't get into one fight. Once Kate spoke her mind and told Elliott how happy she was with JP, I think Elliott understood how they didn't have the type of relationship that she gushed about. I think they both knew that walking down the aisle was never in their future.
Turns out that Elliot has been on the sly about his recent partner and it blew us all away. He, Ros and Gwyn have been seeing each other and it was all caught by Mia. Apparently, Ros had mentioned a hall pass in a conversation and Gwyn told her all about how Elliott Grey would be her ticket. One night they all were at the same bar and one thing led to another. Now the three are inseparable and Elliott seems happy for a change.
My relationship with the Grey's is much better now after the shooting. We aired a lot out after the funeral and are almost back to the way we were before all this mess happened. Although, Carrick is still not a welcome sight. I know in my heart that he was doing what he thought best for his son but the hateful names and not helping me out when I was pregnant was straw that broke the camels back. He could've helped and then I'd never been placed in the jail cell where that evil bitch and her lackies beat me.
"Momma!" Harper squeals and it brings me out of my thoughts.
She's looking at the lit-up barn with the candle lanterns that lead the path to the barn doors. I wanted something simple here on our property. As soon as I proposed to the groom he made sure this barn was the perfect fit for our wedding and he didn't disappoint.
"You ready Harper?" I take her hand and we walk down the path towards the entrance.
Soft music plays on the other side of the lace curtain that separates the inside from the outside. I can see that the entire barn is lit in candles and strands of clear lights around the wooden poles throughout the barn. He made sure to put in a new flooring so that I didn't trip over the unlevel wood planks that were there before.
The aisle is divided down the middle and there are a few rows of chairs that occupy our closest friends and family, nothing like my first wedding where there was over three hundred guest and I didn't know eighty percent of them.
Two men dressed nicely stand on either side of the door and carefully draw back the lace curtain. The music changes and my eyes meet my groom as Harper and I take the first step inside as the wedding march plays. Everything else fades away and only him and I are there. My pulse starts to race and it's like the aisle is a mile long.
Our two dogs, Zeus and Ginger who are at the front perk up and move to us in a matter of seconds. Harper jumps up and takes off to meet Ginger halfway but I stay put and take in everything that is about to happen. Our lives will never be the same after this and we plan to move forward and never look back in the past. We've learned a lot but promised to never experience those mistakes again.
My groom, impatient as ever, moves from the front of the aisle and meets both Harper and I in the middle. He picks up Harper giving her a sound kiss on the cheek then circles my waist placing a hand on my protruding belly and gives me an almost inappropriate public kiss to me. Only the sound of the pastor clearing his throat makes him stop. He blushes pink and it only makes me love him more. We've come a long way over the months and I have to say that I made the right decision after picking up the pieces after that fatal night at Ray's house.
As we make it to the front he places Harper down and fixes her dress before her attention is back on Ginger and they move over a few feet away from us and Pastor McDaniel.
"Shall we begin this beautiful ceremony?" Pastor McDaniel asks and we both nod.
The pastor starts by reading a few verses but my hearing is muffled by my grooms whisper. We're only inches away and if I wasn't five months pregnant I'm sure he'd be molded to me.
"You look stunning." He whispers.
"Thank you." I mouth.
He leans his body into me and I know he's about to seal his lips to mine but once again the pastor speaks up.
"I know that both the bride and groom want to say their own vows…"
My eyes focus back on my groom and I can't help but start to tear up looking into his beautiful eyes.
"Christian if you will start your vow renewal." He nods to the pastor then turns back to me.
"Anastasia, my love, my life. Words fail me every time I open my mouth when I was practicing this. I know we've been here before but this time it's different. We're different. You came into my life when I needed you the most and turned me upside down and inside out. For the longest time I thought this was a fluke and that at any moment I would wake up and it was all a dream. That I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life, but from day one you stumbling into my office and changed all that. Three months later we married and I swore to be one with you and walk through this marriage as an equal partner. I failed that because on day two-hundred and forty of our marriage I lost you to my foolish pride. Never did I think that that one mistake would cost me my entire world for over two and a half years. But it did and in a way I'm thankful. Thankful because I was able to grow up and become the man you needed. The man who you deserve."
I squeeze our joined hands and will the stinging in my eyes to let up. We've both cried enough over the years and now I want nothing but happiness for here on out.
"Today, I stand before you and our daughter and pledge that for as long as I'm breathing that I'll be the man you both want in your life. I promise to be the best role model for our daughter and the best husband that you could ever want. I promise to love, honor and cherish you, to include you on every aspect of our lives and walk hand and hand together until we can't walk any more. I love you Anastasia with my whole heart and promise to keep you safe and warm on chilly nights, to help make you the best person that you always have wanted to be. I love you and promise these things until death do us part."
Christian takes his monographed handkerchief out of his front pocket and dabs my soaked cheeks. How can anyone follow those words?
Pastor McDaniel turns to me and nods letting me know that it's my turn. Steeling myself I take a deep breath and calm my emotions to get through this.
"Christian, I didn't really know what living was until I saw you for the first time. The moment I stumbled into your office it was like you had turned on a switch and my life began. You have given my world color and I don't think I could ever go back to living the way I was before you."
Our daughter walks over and circles her daddy's legs giving him a big hug making us all laugh.
"You have shown me what it's like to have a true partner and even though we've had some rocky bumps in our time I think we both can say that we are better people because of them. It might've taken us years to get where we are now but I'm glad that you never gave up on us. Our daughter and I love you more than you'll ever know and I hope that every day I can show you exactly that."
I can see the tears welling up in his eyes and I know that he's trying his best to keep them in because seeing him cry is going to make me lose it.
"Kiersten White said it best, 'I'd choose you, in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and choose you.' Never in my heart was there another for me, you are it for me Christian Grey.
"I promise to love, honor and cherish you. To keep you and your heart safe, to be a sounding board when life is too tough, and even a warm place for your cold feet. I pledge my love and life to you and only you for as long as we both shall live."
We don't wait for Pastor McDaniel and surge forward to seal our promises to each other. We're already married so we can do as we like. I can hear cheering and clapping in the distance but void them out. It's only when I feel a tug on my dress that we pull apart.
"My daddy!" Harper stomps her little boot.
"Of course, babydoll." Christian swoops down and brings her between us as we both kiss a chubby cheek sending her into fits of giggles as she's the little ham of the party.
The reception is what I had hoped it would've been the first time around but didn't want to say anything to ruffle feathers as to how high society would think of the Grey's if we'd had it in a barn with twinkling lights and wooden planks as a dance floor. I think back to the girl I was then and the woman I am now and can't help but be relieved that I've changed. At least for the better, I think.
My lower back has a pinch to it so I'm sitting down to relieve some of the pressure. My mind drifts back to three months ago and I can't help but remember when the doctors came in to tell me that Luke didn't make it. At first, I thought it was Christian and my entire world stopped for a few brief moments. Ryan, Kate and JP had to hold me upright until they assured me that it was in fact Luke and not Christian who had died.
"Wha…what do you mean, he didn't make it?" I sway and several hands catch me.
"We did everything we could, we're sorry for your loss." One of the doctors says.
"This can't be happening," I look over to my left and see Ryan. "He promised me forever. He said he'd never leave me and Harper!"
"Ana…Ana please listen."
I think I went into shock because the next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed. Something was holding my legs down and when my eyes focused it was Kate with her head laying across them. She was sound asleep. I heard beeping and when I turned my head I saw a man laying in a bed next to me and it made my heart stop.
"Christian!" I shouted as if I was dreaming and wanted to wake us up.
I heard his familiar grunt and Kate sprung up from her seat.
"Shh." Kate grabbed for my hand. "He needs all the rest he can get."
"But…h-he's here? The doctors?" I stuttered.
"They were talking about Luke, Ana. Christian is in bad shape but they think he will be just fine as long as he rests and gets through this first night."
"Oh, thank god!" I reach over the rails and grip his hand in mine. "Please don't leave me."
I thought my heart died that day and it took a long while before I felt as though we were going to be okay after everything that had happened with Ray. We buried Luke here in Seattle next to his family. Luke had changed his will and left everything in my name. I didn't feel right taking it so I decided to leave the ranch in Montana in the hands of Patrick to run. With Christian's help and his resources Sawyer Ranch is a safe harbor for women and children in Witness Protection. Patrick loves the idea and it just had it's first guests last week. Christian is helping with all the other details and all the profits from Luke's goggle and scope designs is going into a fund to maintain the ranch and all the help there. He's put it under the GEH umbrella and with a few tweaks from his R&D they have been able to create an even better product for our military.
"You feeling okay, baby?" I hear my man's voice. Christian saddles up next to me then picks me up as though I'm not pregnant and places me on his lap.
"Just think about the past and how we got here."
He places a firm hand on my belly then kisses my neck.
"We only need to think of the present and future." He whispers, sending shivers down my spin that leaves me squirming on his lap. "How's my boy doing?" He rubs me and a small kick follows his hand.
"Starving for cake." I giggle when Christian bites my shoulder.
We found out that we're having a boy a few weeks ago and we couldn't be happier. Although, Harper is not on board yet. She doesn't want anyone taking daddy's attention away, especially me. We are still unsure if the dad is Luke or Christian's but as Christian has stated before on many occasions, "DNA doesn't matter." I'm still planning on getting a paternity test done after this little guy comes out for peace of mind though. I'll love him no matter what but health wise I want to be prepared for anything.
"Well, we can't have that." He stands with me secured in his strong arms. We thought he was never going to walk because the bullet had done some damage to his spinal cord. He was in a wheelchair then a cane up until a month ago. He was determined to walk down the aisle cane free and be able to carry me around and he did. Christian never ceases to amaze me when he puts his mind to it. He has a slight limp but unless you're looking for it you'd never know.
"Wait, it's not time for cake yet!"
"Baby, we can do whatever we want. It's our party, these people are the intruders."
I loud squeak rings on the dance floor as we make our way over to the cake table. Knowing that voice we both freeze but when we see what's going on we laugh along with everyone else. Ryan has Harper in the air tossing her high as Taylor tosses her teddy bear the same height at the same time. We really couldn't have asked for a better family than this.
Without thinking I gather a dollop of icing on two fingers from our cake as Christian is distracted with watching Harper having fun. An evil grin forms on my face and I launch my fingers forwards and streak an icing line down the side of his face. His eyes bulge as he realizes what just happened.
"You know, being pregnant won't save you, right?" He says smiling and reaching over my shoulder. I love his playful side.
Zoning out the guests, Christian and I have a down right food fight with our wedding cake. Harper comes over at one point but only to swipe a few pieces to eat. Once we've had enough Christian bends and picks me up bridal style and whistles to get everyone's attention.
"We'd like to thank you all for coming and sharing this time with us but as you can imagine we have somewhere where we need to be." Not leaving any room for arguments he heads out the door of the barn as Elliot is yelling.
"But I haven't given my speech yet!"
Christian ignores him and takes long strides towards our house. Harper is staying with Grace and Mia tonight and will join us tomorrow as we go on a trip to Disney World. I've never been and Harper can't wait to see all the Princesses.
"You are so beautiful." Christian states as he pulls the zipper down the back of my dress.
"As are you." I retort and start to unbutton his messy white shirt. I'm pretty sure our clothes are ruined but I couldn't care less.
Christian starts the shower and pulls us both in. He fingers out all the pins in my hair and we clean each other. After toweling off we make our way back to the bedroom.
"Lay down, baby. I want to devour you."
And he does just that. What seems like hours but is only minutes Christian makes his way up my body and I feel his thick erection probing my entrance.
I let a moan escape. "You like that, baby?"
"More Christian. No more teasing. Please!" I whine. I'm all for foreplay but for the love of god my hormones are all over the place.
"Yes, baby." He thrusts and buries is fat cock to the hilt. We groan with satisfaction. "Is this what you wanted? Huh?" He starts to pump in and out being mindful of my stomach.
"Yes!" I scream as I'm on the edge.
Christian grabs one of my legs and places it over his shoulder as he continues to pound into me.
"Come for me, Anastasia. Cream all over my cock and balls."
His words are always my undoing and I explode. My body convulses with each thrust as a shiver ripples up my spine. "Christian!" I call but I'm not sure if it was in my head or if I really did scream his name. I'm floating on a cloud and don't want to leave my spot. There isn't anything better than being in his arms but I know he isn't finished with me yet.
"Again." He demands pushing right up on my clit sending me into a frenzy.
"I can't."
"Yes. You. Can." He pounds in after each word. "You are my home. I could live in here for the rest of my life."
He places his thumb to my lips and I open automatically.
"Suck."
I do as he asks and suck on his thumb as if it were his dick. Swiftly, he pulls it out and like a magnet it finds my bundle of nerves that pulses like a heartbeat. Christian applies the right amount of pressure then gives it a pinch. That's all it takes and I'm done. I moan his name and dig my fingers in his arms.
"Ana, baby!" He groans and I feel him throb inside of me as he stretches and fills me to the brim with his seed.
Slowly, his pumps stop and we both are unmoving as we catch our breath.
"There will never be a day that comes that I'll ever tire from seeing you come."
He gently places my leg down then turns me so that he can spoon me. Christian wraps an arm securely around me to hold my belly in place. I can feel my eyes growing heavy after the long and exhausting day we've had.
"I love you, Christian. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
If possible, he moves closer to me and gives me a small squeeze.
"You are my entire life, Anastasia. Nothing and no one will ever change that. I love you with my whole heart."
I'm so glad we were able to find each other again. I will be forever grateful that he moved heaven and earth and battle all his demons to find his way back to me. My life would never be complete if he was not in it.
"You and me, baby, against the world."
A/N: Up next... Epilogue! It should be out by Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you all for your support in my story, you can't imagine what it means to me that so many people like it. You guys are the best!