Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters contained therein, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is kind enough to let fans write fiction. I make no profit from this nor do I intend to.

Re-write as of 10/2012

Chapter 21

Sake Memories

He had gotten on with his life... and so should she.

Ayumu had settled herself in the booth with a book and the expectation of a good meal. She had decided that being there by herself was a lot better than where everyone else was right now...'Sake Memories' was going to go on as planned and without a hitch. She just shook her head in wonderment...

Flashback

Ayumu stared at both Genma and Hiroshi in pure amazement. She couldn't believe it. Both Genma and Hiroshi seemed not only calm but proud of the exhibit. She expected a much different reaction from Hiroshi, but when Genma broke the news to him he seemed fine with it all.

"Are you telling me Hiroshi that you don't mind?!"

Hiroshi had an almost smug and pleased look to him. "No, why should I? I did it willingly, knowing what she would do eventually," and he eyed Genma with some pleased and Secret Man Look. "I am proud of them, they are Works of Art. And besides," and here he slyly looked at Genma and sniggered, "it's like free advertisement."

Genma just laughed loudly, slapped him on the back and threw a conspiratorial arm around his shoulder. Both men looked at her like she was the daffy one. She would never understand men...

End Flashback

Well, she certainly didn't want to be there...it just grossed her out too much to see the genitalia of her friends and family on public display. The other thing that kind of burned her bucket was the fact that Lilia could display such things and it was protected under some obscure 'Artistic Expression' law (the woman must have had an outstanding lawyer to pull that one off) while she got hauled in for questioning for just talking about sex. It seemed ok to look at it, but talking about it seemed like a whole different matter. She added 'The Law' to Things Ayumu will Never Understand list. She was just flabbergasted. So she found herself out on a Friday night alone with a book and a dinner on the way. Well, there were worst things that could happen, like being surrounded by the proud owners of a sexhibit going on.

She had asked Iruka if he had wanted to join her, but he had bowed out saying that he had scrolls to grade. She had given him a funny look and asked him if he was really not going to join her because he was going to bond with Hiroshi and Genma instead, and be in attendance to their Grand Unveiling. Iruka had plastered a look of horror on his face and shuddered.

When her thoughts turned to Iruka she seemed confused. She certainly wasn't looking for a boyfriend (if that's what you would call it...she certainly never thought of Ibiki as a boyfriend...) but he was nice (yuck- there was that word again) to be around. He seemed steady and comfortable. She didn't think that he had a mean or confrontational bone in his body. They were just getting to know each other, and what she had found out so far was- nice. Sometimes he would stop by in the late afternoons when she was working on her mural and they would talk about their day. Or sometimes there would just be companionable silence. The one thing that was never there was a spark between them, or at least for her. She could sense his interest, and though she never really discouraged it she certainly didn't really encourage it. She just couldn't for some reason. She even felt slight twinges of guilt that maybe she was only doing this to help soothe her own bruised ego and heart. It really didn't seem fair to use such a nice man in such a way. She thought that if things progressed farther that the two of them would have a talk...

He once came over to the house and she had introduced him to Hiroshi, almost tacitly trying to get his opinion on the matter. Hiroshi was polite and as engaging as usual, but there also wasn't any spark of kinship as there had been between him and Ibiki. Ayumu knew that he really liked Ibiki. They both had that dark edge to them, that sarcasm. When Iruka left Hiroshi merely looked at her and shook his head. It wasn't like he didn't like Iruka, he did, but it seemed like he knew that Iruka somehow came up short when matched up against Ibiki. It seemed like he was trying to silently tell her that he was not the one. Well, there wasn't anything that she could do about any of it, and she had to abide by Ibiki's decision. It was not up to her. It was all up to Ibiki.

Ayumu took a sip of her sake, ate some of her appetizers, and settled in to read. She was way behind and looked forward to this quiet time. She was sitting somewhat near the rear of the restaurant so she could have a bit more privacy. Though it was close to the kitchen it was out of the way and afforded her the luxury of not being too near other diners. She was just getting into her book when a loud, brassy laugh interrupted her reading. She looked up and was momentarily stunned. One of the people that she had met at the Tipsy Kunoichi Tavern came in, the young woman with spiky hair. She thought that she remembered her name as being Anko. But it was not the young woman that really grabbed her attention as much as it was her companion: Ibiki. Whatever she had said or done had also caused him to laugh; that distinct, low, and earthy laugh that caused shivers to run up and down her spine. The two settled in near the middle to front of the restaurant, and in line to the front door. She could feel the room get hot and almost claustrophobic.

Ayumu looked down at her book to get her thoughts in line because they were zooming around inside her a mile a minute. After she performed a few moments of heavy breathing she chanced to look up and caught Ibiki staring at her – dead on. She could feel her body shaking, and her face turning bright red. She could even feel sweat start to form on her upper lip, but somehow she managed not to cry, or worse – pass out. She somehow even managed to civilly nod her head in greeting and look back down to her book as if it was all nothing out of the ordinary. But it was all just a sham, just like it had been these past weeks. Inside she felt like there was a tsunami raging. All she could think about was Ibiki sitting with another woman (a Nin, of course) and having a good time. It was all too much, and the emotions that were swirling around inside of her were about to break free. Ayumu felt herself close to losing total control. She would be damned if she would let him see it happen. So she threw money on the table and like a coward she walked quickly out the restaurant through the back way. She plowed unheeding through the kitchen (and the surprised cooks and serving staff) and into the night of the back alley behind the establishment. She ran a few steps around a corner in the alley and collapsed against the wall with her back against it. She put one hand over her mouth while the other helped to brace her possible slide down it. It was only then that she let the tremors and tears come full on. Her hand stifled her screams.

She just couldn't do it. She just couldn't understand why it had to happen like this. She thought that she partially understood his reasoning- that her safety was tantamount and that her association with him could compromise all that. She really did try to understand it, but she just couldn't. She just couldn't turn her emotions on and off like a light switch. The impact that he had made on her was just too great and lasting, and she felt like the rug was once again whipped out from under her feet. She was again in a free-fall and with no idea when she would hit bottom. She had no idea why instead of the pain easing up it was just getting worse. Seeing him after such an absence had caused her careful little house of cards to come tumbling down. For the first time in her life she allowed herself this brief moment of self pity and cried her heart out. She felt like a coward, and worse a fool.

When Ibiki had looked up to see Ayumu he was shocked. He hadn't expected to run into her so soon and certainly not while he was with another woman. Ibiki could see every thought play across her mobile face: surprise, hurt, and embarrassment. He saw her give Anko an almost analyzing look and come to some sort of realization that she had once again fallen short of the mark. He could see all her fears and insecurities come to fruition. Ibiki could see her body become flushed and start to shake, and he could see her battle waging against it. She quickly lost it and retreated. It took everything that he had to not jump up and run over to her. He never felt so much like a shit then at that moment and time. He never wanted to take someone in his arms and comfort them like he did right then and there. Ayumu should never have to feel those emotions when he was around, and he certainly shouldn't be the cause of them.

When she fled out the back (in order not to bypass him he noticed) he couldn't help but excuse himself and follow her. When he looked out back he could hear her muffled cries coming from around the corner. He walked towards them but stopped before turning the corner. He just couldn't intrude; he would only make it worse for her. Ibiki faced the wall and with both hands gripped it in frustration. He lowered his head and closed his eyes against her pain. And it was all because of him.

A great wave of doubt crashed over him. He wasn't sure anymore, was this really all worth it? Was it worth it to see the woman that he cared for so deeply become so distraught? Was the possibility of a threat worth her actual mental distress? He could hear her softy moan out his name, and his gut tightened. It took all his formidable training to not to rush around the corner and take her in his arms and pull her in close, letting his words and body soothe her fears and pain away. Ibiki started to convince himself that maybe, just maybe it could all work out...but he forcefully tampered down that idea. It was selfish on his part. He thought only of his great need for her, and not about her safety. If she had a broken heart then so be it, at least she was alive and in one piece. All he could do for her was bear silent witness to her break down, and carry that burden for her as well.

He could hear her sobs become so broken and uneven that they soon turned into heaves, and then heard her stomach empty its contents in the back alley. He could feel bile rise in his own throat. Ibiki took in a great gulp of air, not only to stop his own stomach from emptying its contents, but to help him stand up straight from the wall, turn around, and walk back into the restaurant.

[Later]

How Ayumu made it home she had no idea, most probably on some sort of auto pilot. Luckily there weren't enough people (or even any that she knew) out to see her in this state of disrepair. Ayumu didn't really care what she looked like, she couldn't really care – not when all she could think about was seeing Ibiki and that other woman. She was especially glad that Fujiwara-san was no where around. She certainly couldn't handle seeing her right now...

When Ayumu walked into the house she could hear male laughter; Hiroshi and Genma were back early for some reason. She didn't want either of them to see her like this. She just wanted to be the only person at her Pity Party. So once again she fled like a coward into her room and rolled herself into a tight ball on her bed. She needed to be wrapped up in her pain and misery. A few minutes later she sensed more then heard the bedroom door open. Hiroshi and Genma had come up to see what the matter was.

"Kitten..."

"Oh Fuck..."

Then Ayumu felt the bed drop with their weights and she could feel both men take a place on either side of her. She felt Genma lay behind her and wrap his arms around her middle and spoon. Hiroshi she could feel had moved to the other side and placed her head on his arm as he wrapped his body against her from the front. Neither said anything but envelope her in a cocoon of warmth, love, and security. Any control that Ayumu might have had was now lost. She cried openly and loudly. She sobbed out her love and loss of Ibiki. She sobbed out her desperation and inadequacies. She sobbed like a child whose whole world had come crashing down. She could feel small pats and pets, shushing and murmuring noise from the men as they tried to ease her body's tension. As her tears slowed a great fatigue settled in its place. As hiccups became intermittent she slowly started to drift off into a healing sleep.

Even after she fell into a deep slumber Hiroshi and Genma still did not let up or let her go. They quietly held her and became lost in their own thoughts.

Genma was stunned to say the least to hear about Ayumu's relationship with Morino Ibiki. He had no idea that they even knew each other in such a personal way. What was she thinking? Morino Ibiki had the reputation of being one of the most feared people in Konoha. The man was an Interrogator for the Torture and Interrogation Squad in ANBU. Hell, even most ANBU were intimidated by him. So how could this man have captured his cousin's heart, and in such a vice-grip as well?

When Genma thought of his cousin he had mixed almost guilty feelings. He loved her, yes, but in a brotherly way – sometimes. Their relationship really hadn't grown until they were more adult, and over the years he had watched her grow up when he could. They did run in separate circles, and both their work took them in opposite directions. But the few times a year that he spent with her were times well spent and gratifying. He just loved to be around her. He could be with her like he couldn't be with other people, and especially other women. With her he could just be himself. He wasn't trying to get laid, or to even impress or amuse. They spoke of things that came straight from the heart. Their talks were always open and honest. But as she had gotten older he became more appreciative of her outer as well as her inner beauty. He watched her grow into a beautiful woman who had no idea of how seductive she was to others. To him. He always felt lighter after being with her. They would sometimes spend hours just laughing at each other and sometimes even at the expense of others. She could give as well as take, and she never put up with his nonsense. He as well never put up with hers, and she took his serious remonstrations to heart and never held a grudge. She became the type of woman that he had always wanted in a companion. She was the type of woman that he could have been faithful for.

It wasn't that far-fetched an idea of the two of them together. Their familial ties were spotty at best; Ayumu was four cousins removed from his side of the family. The blood tie wasn't that strong – clans had married people who were much closer on the family tree then they were. Besides, he would have liked a woman who was not Nin. It would have been nice to leave that world behind when he came home to a loving woman. Was that what Morino Ibiki saw in her? Was that what drew him to her? Was that the kind of relationship that they had?

When Morino had sought him out at the Tipsy Kunoichi Tavern he had no idea that they were in the midst of such a relationship. He had quietly made inquiries about Morino's interest in his cousin, but had gotten nowhere. He still had many friends and acquaintances in ANBU. Very few people were willing to talk about anything personal that Morino Ibiki might be interested in. They were very loyal and would not betray any confidences. Or they were very scared. Or they just plain didn't know. The man kept his hand close to his vest. Either way his digging had come up empty, and anyway his cousin seemed not to be in any trouble at all. Her questioning at the KMP HQ was just a mild, onetime thing. Almost funny in fact and with no harm done. So he had dropped it. Now he wished that he had maybe done something else. Now he wished that he had dug much deeper. He glanced over to Hiroshi and could just see the wheels turning.

Hiroshi was thinking that enough had really been enough. He wasn't going to let this go on any longer. No matter what the Old Bat next door said. Things were quickly spiraling out of control. Ayumu couldn't keep this up and still regain any hold onto her sanity for much longer. He didn't want her to spend her days frantically working only to come home to collapse in tears and grief. She deserved much more than that. No matter what trepidations Ibiki might have, were they really worth all this? Hiroshi was also smart and intuitive enough to know that Ibiki was probably living in the same Hell that Ayumu was. He knew that Ibiki was devoted to her and that what he had to have done must have ripped something out of him and left him just as damaged. As stoic and self-reliant as Ibiki was he needed Ayumu. She brought him out of his shell and her fire warmed something deep inside him. He just knew it.

He also started to think about Iruka. That was a joke. Iruka was a decent sort of fellow, but certainly not meant for his kitten. Iruka just wasn't her type. She needed someone that could handle all her emotions and foibles, and still let her retain her identity. Iruka was steady to be sure, but he didn't sense any passion between the two. Between Ayumu and Ibiki one could almost cut it with a knife, and he wasn't just talking of the sexual kind. They enjoyed each other, but more importantly Ibiki appreciated Ayumu as much as she appreciated him. Their short comings were not a hindrance. He remembered spilling their past to Ibiki and he could tell that the man was not just upset by it, he was mad. And Hiroshi had a small feeling even before Fujiwara-san confirmed it that Ibiki had gone on the hunt for them in retribution for their attack. That really hit home with Hiroshi. Genma had certainly stuck up for them when things got nasty to be sure, but Ibiki was more pro-active rather then re-active. He hadn't just given a warning; he had put people down, and most probably permanently. And he didn't brag about it or even talk about it. It was like Fujiwara-san said: Morino Ibiki did what Morino Ibiki had to do. For them. For his mate. That was probably why Hiroshi felt so strongly about the two – they were like a mated pair. They were meant to be together.

But he was no slouch either, and this just confirmed that now Hamada Hiroshi needed to do what Hamada Hiroshi needed to do. But what…

Hiroshi wasn't quite sure though as to how he would go about his Secret Mission. He had to be careful around Ibiki. Ibiki was no slump and he could smell deceit a mile away. Whatever he would plan would have to be executed with subtlety, precision and stealth. Hiroshi was almost looking forward to going up against Morino Ibiki. He knew that he himself was also a Master in the Art of Psychological Warfare, and he felt like a great general preparing his battle strategy against another great warrior. He also knew that whatever plan he came up with it would have to be clever, iron-tight, and nasty. There would be no second chances afforded to him. It would have to be total domination.

For even the slightest hitch could cause problems, and possibly force the two farther apart forever. But furthermore, Hiroshi wanted to make sure that Ibiki really learned his lesson. He might have done whatever he did for noble reasons, but sometimes nobility is for the birds; sometimes nobility does more harm than good. And besides, he never heard of a noble deed ever keeping anyone warm at night. No, it was time for Hiroshi to step in and return order to the world. It was high time that Morino Ibiki finally saw the error of his ways...