Love me U.K.E
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(Twisted feelings about a Troubling Tour)
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Marching down a decorated hall that just flashed how much money Kakashi owned, the group of 6 followed one of his assistants, that seemed to lead them down all sorts of pathways and passages that felt as if they were going down a maze, though they were sure to stop just in front of a door that Kotetsu opened before looking to the group.
"Down here is where all of the erobodies are made- the lab to be blunt. After we pass it, we'll be in another room where the actual dolls are packaged and stored."
"Creepy.." Kiba laughed before running down the stairs.
This initiated the others to march after him, leaving Kotetsu to sigh as he followed and shut the door behind him. The group must've marched down at least 37 steps before seeing a scene that would've reminded them of a matrix movie, or.. terminator, some bullshit. There were test tubes, large cords, and generators with maybe 5 or 6 people in white lab coats, goggles and gloves running around them. Shikamaru actually halted, leaving Kotetsu to hold out his hand to this sight and groan as he spoke.
"This is the beginning, or step 1, of making an erobody. Artificial skin cells, synthetic hair and all sorts of sciences are made here. Whatever is ordered, these scientists are given the task to create. The outer appearance of the doll is important, and supposed to be executed well. From the requested cowlick on the head, down to the birthmark wanted on the dolls foot. Whatever is requested, it is formulated and made here."
Naruto lowered his eyes as he watched the 5 figures in coats move about, as they either balanced blue and red bottles, or held a roll of what looked like dough.. it was.. disturbing to him. Was this really how he started out?
"Naruto." Sasuke muttered hitting his shoulder. "C'mon, the group's moving."
The doll nodded, taking one final look at the scientists before following the group to the next room where shit just looked like a home made theater with some computers all about.
The room was a fancy white, accessorized with 3 white coated scientists who watched a large screen in the front of the room, while on either side of the screen were monitors and motherboards that looked like you'd find it in the secret service offices, that or at a military headquarters.
Kotetsu held out his head again before groaning. "This room doesn't really do much in my opinion. Here, scientists create a code in order for the erobody to respond to it's owner and all that jazz. They're basically making the artificial brain in here. This is also where the scientists create codes for other projects. When people ask for their doll to look a certain way, these guys assume the code to which makes the person look how they do.. in blatant terms they pretty much assume numbers and junk to form an artificial brain and pseudo-synthetic DNA.." he explained.
Itachi twitched. "And you think that isn't important?"
"Not really.. It's not like they're doing what the guys in the other room are doing.. Makin' skin 'nd stuff.." Kotetsu shrugged.
"They're assuming an artificial genetic make-up to make your product look and act how your customers want them to. Dna and a brain.. a thought and an origin. How isn't that important?" Shikamaru questioned making the tour-man shrug.
"Dunno. . . Moooving on. . ." Kotetsu sang as he sauntered off in the next room, making Itachi groan and Shikamaru shake his head as they followed along with everyone else.
As soon as they all walked in, Kotetsu barely moved as he held his hand out to the largest of rooms in the place. "This is the tube room, or rather, the birthplace of every erobody we've ever made.. the finale` to the building process." he spoke making everyone distend their eyes.
Every wall was covered with cylinder-like capsules, while wires and strings were attached to weird machinery the group had never seen, along with laptops and books 'n junk. This looked to be the most complicated room out of the ones they had seen, which pretty much left them in their frozen state. Obito however had seen this already, Kakashi had showed him this area.. once..
"Never thought I'd be here again.." he groaned.
Itachi glanced at him, making the older Uchiha flinch and laugh nervously as he waved his hands and shook his head. "D-Don't listen to me!" he mumbled beginning to look around.
Kotetsu lowered his eyes watching one of the scientists from the previous room run passed everyone and over to a certain doctor that make the messy haired man hunch and hold his hand out once more. "-As you can see, once the guys from the other room finish their coding, they hand their calculations to that man over there, and only then is the code formatted and entered, to begin the birth process of the erobody."
"This place is sick." Kiba said in a positive way.
"Hmph.. Kinda reminds me of those water room things in those dragonball z movies.." Shikamaru mumbled putting his hands in his pockets.
"Would you believe that was actually the inspiration to build these?" The bandaged man questioned rhetorically.
"Kotetsu."
The group flinched, watching a male with dark eyes and silver hair pulled into a ponytail, make his way over with his hands tucked away in his white coat. He looked more like a doctor instead of a scientist the more everyone looked at him, but who knew if the guy would take offense to that. Scientists were always so sensitive when it came to calling them out of their rank or degree.. at least, they do when you see them in the movies.
Kotetsu sighed as he lowered his head in acknowledgment to the man in the coat who dug into the pocket over his heart and pulling out his glasses. "You know this area is for authorized personnel only. This isn't a field trip."
"If you must know, this was authorized by Kakashi himself. I was told to give these people a tour." he spoke before grabbing Naruto's collar. "And look, the mistake has been found."
The man in the coat flinched, his right hand gripping the jaw of the doll while his left pulled a tiny flashlight out of his pockets. Naruto winced as the man clicked on the stick of light, flashing a beam of brightness in his eyes.
"Gah! Stop it would you!"
The man flinched again, pulling his light away before angling the dolls head every which way, letting him go for a brief moment before grabbing him again and forcing his thumb to pry open the dolls mouth.
"Oi!"
"What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke questioned stepping out of his line over to the man in the white coat.
This made the doctor slowly look over his left shoulder before narrowing his eyes. "..Quiet.. I'm performing an inspection."
Sasuke glared, shutting his trap and allowing the doctor to slowly grunt and go back to his work, however the Uchiha's brother was sure to step in, in his defense.
"He is right to voice his questions and concerns though." Itachi spoke making the doctor pause once more. "I understand it's your job to inspect that which you make, however, the u.k.e you're inspecting isn't yours to do so."
Kotetsu rose a brow, while the doctor flinched. Making Obito glance at both glaring groups before stepping over to the oldest of his cousins.
"Hey..What're you talking about?" he mumbled covering his mouth in a whisper. "Aren't we here to return the kid?"
"We are.. but Sasuke has yet to sign any paperwork, so until he does.. Naruto is still his, not Kakashi's or this corporation's.." he explained before dulling his eyes. "..In short, your inspection can wait till later."
Sasuke flinched, but looked back to the doctor with a somewhat smug look. Gawd he was glad Itachi was here..
The doctor froze as a glare from the lights above covered his eyes- masking which emotion he was feeling at the moment, however, his curled lips expressed relief as he pulled away from the doll and tucked his hands in their respective pockets. Only then did he smirk at the group, especially the silver tongue who looked to him with an emotionless and yet almost confident stare.
This made the doctor release a short laugh before shaking his head. "My my.. I'm sorry.. I must've came off as quite rude. Where are my manners?" he questioned stepping to Itachi and extending his hand. "My name is Kabuto Yakushi.. and you are?"
"..Itachi Uchiha." The man responded shaking his hand only briefly. "Your manners more or less bothered my brother than it did me.. so if you don't mind.."
Kabuto blinked watching to Uchiha stare at him blankly making him smirk and nod. "Heh right..right. I'm sorry..Sasuke.." he spoke looking to the younger dark-haired male.
The Uchiha only grunted as he glanced away and dulled his eyes. Kabuto could only laugh to himself as he aligned his glasses then lowered his head, apologizing once more.
"We were about to head into the final room and finish up this little tour, but now that I think about it.. you're fully capable to handle this right? Your explanations would be more thorough than mine.." Kotetsu spoke smirking as he held a hand out to the doctor.
Kabuto chuckled. "You're saying this so you can run around a slack off?"
"Of course not." Kotetsu laughed. "I've got.. paperwork to fetch!"
"Fine fine.. off with you then." Kabuto spoke waving the man away with a limp hand, before walking off. "Alright then everyone.. follow me, the complete stages of the erobodies are just up ahead."
The group began to move, however Itachi was pulled back, making the group pause and watch the bandaged man rub under his nose and shake his head. "Hey, if the doctor asks you any weird questions, just constantly shake your heads alright.. especially you." he spoke with a sniffle as he glanced at only Itachi.
The Uchiha rose his brow in response but in return got a point from Kotetsu as he began to walk away backwards. "-Oh and make sure you don't drop any of your hair, or chew your nails off in here.. And don't let them touch you.. You've been warned." He mumbled before turning and sneezing. "..Damn it's cold!"
Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, groaning as he turned to the group with a I'm-fed-up-with-this-shit stare. "..Okay.. Is it just me, or is this starting to not be so fun anymore?"
"Speak for yourself Nara! I'mma get me my erobody!" Kiba laughed running off.
Obito shook his head before glancing at the group that still remained. "Hey.. I think we should take that Kotetsu guys warning.. who know's if they'll use our hair and nails to make a model of a u.k.e or something."
The group nodded, though Obito was sure to glare at Shikamaru and Itachi, making them return the stare and shrug questionably.
"...Do you two need hair-nets?" The older Uchiha asked making them flinch.
"Get the fuck outta here." Shika groaned walking the path Kiba ran down, with Itachi following close behind shaking his head at his cousin who screamed and warned as they followed. This left Naruto to hesitate but run off only to be pulled back.
Tugging at his sleeve but looking at the only person who was left of the group, he blinked. "..Sasuke?"
"...I'm getting a bad feeling about this place Naruto.."
"Hm?"
"..I'm.. I think I'm starting to re-think.." Sasuke paused, letting go of the dolls sleeve as he glanced away and felt his face burn.
He didn't want to sound like a fool but he did want to express how he felt. Something dark was looming in this place, and it made him actually worry for Naruto's safety. Something told him that if he had stayed here with Kakashi then he'd be experimented on or treated like a real robot rather than a human being..
Sasuke flinched to that thought- Glancing around the lab for a moment, pretty much noticing all of the cylinder tubes and wires, realizing that no human beings were actually born here.. With that his eyes actually softened, that is, till he was struck over the head-
"Aagh! What the hell!"
Naruto blew on his fist before tucking it away in his pocket then glaring the Uchiha's way. "..Oi.. you're thinking of something sad.."
"What! No I wasn't-"
"Don't worry about me."
" ! "
"You think something bad is going to happen because you don't trust the people here.. Well.. these people are the only ones who know who I am."
"Who cares about all of that? You didn't care about that stuff before.." Sasuke spoke making the doll look to him.
"Thats because I only cared about pleasing you.." he answered making the Uchiha flinch and allow him look back to the lab. "...because I can't please you, I have to care about things that I didn't really care about before.. it keeps me from getting.. bored."
Sasuke glared at the floor as he balled his fists into the pockets of his blazer recalling how he didn't exactly treat Naruto the best, but he knew that his way was better than this place! That was for damn sure! Just look at it!
The Uchiha scoffed as he glared at the lab then back to the doll. "... I... I told you, that you weren't all that annoying.."
"Yeah.. I remember." Naruto shrugged staring at him stupidly.
"..."
"..Oi.. why're you doing this?"
"D..Doing what?"
"...It seems to me like you're trying to prolong this exchange." the erobody spoke before glaring. "Don't tell me you're going to change your mind.."
"W-What! No!"
"So then what the hell are we talking about? Why are you acting all worried all of a sudden?"
"Its not an act." The Uchiha glared, making Naruto smirk.
"Heh.. Like I said. Don't worry about me.. That Kakashi guy seems lazy and weird, but I'm guessing nothing bad will happen if I'm around him. Heheh, you heard how he said he'd kill that Kotetsu guy if he managed to lose me again.. I must be real important.."
Sasuke glared, but jerked as he watched Kiba run from across the room and make it over to the two with a huge grin on his face, panting from his sprint.
"He-Hey! What're you guys still doing here!" He breathed. "There's this guy in the next room! You gotta see him!"
"Guy?" The two repeated.
.
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In the final corridor, a room of metal boxes, 1 or 2 cylinder pods and tables of papers and science beacons- a guy stood in the corner, sporting black and silver shades, blonde braids, cinnamon skin and a baby blue robe. He stayed silent, looking angry as he folding his arms and looked down at Naruto Sasuke and Kiba.. grunting every now and then. Shikamaru stood a few feet back as he didn't think that standing in front of the guy was exactly safe..
Kiba only snickered as Naruto and Sasuke glanced to him, raising their brows.
"Oi.." Naruto began.
"So is this the erobody you're gonna get?" Sasuke asked stopping the Inuzuka boys laughter.
"What! Hell no! I just wanted to show you guys him cause he's does this thing!"
"A thing?" Sasuke repeated.
Kiba nodded before looking to the guy. "Yo! Say what you said about that doctor!" he laughed pointing at Kabuto in the distance.
The man stood stoic for a moment, but smirked as he pointed to the same doctor. ". . ."
Naruto and Sasuke stared, but waited a few moments as the tall erobody snickered. "Yo! Sucka ass doctors, all up in my grill! Tell'in me what to do with they funky ass breath, forreal!"
Sasuke jerked, Naruto grinned, and Kiba laughed hunching in the end.
"Hahaha! Isn't that awesome! He's amazing! All he does is talk shit about that Kabuto guy!"
The tall erobody with braids twitched over-dramatically before glaring at the Inuzuka boy. "All I can do? Sit'cho ass down, as I take you to skoo- Learn somethin! I ain't limited for nothin! Don't disrespect me, the one and only Bee- times three! That's math son! Get'cho facts right, but sit tight! This lesson aint over, you keep lyin on me and I'mma put'cho ass down like yo name is Rover! Now take a step back and run ov'a to the doc's, before you face somethin' I call the school of hard knocks!" The erobody shouted raising a fist to Kiba who flinched and stepped back.
Sasuke narrowed his brows as if the doll was speaking another language while Naruto grinned close to hopping in place. Something about this guy was exciting him and he didn't know why.
"Ah, I see you guys have already met Bee." a familiar feminine voice announced along with clicking heels.
Glancing over their shoulders, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba and Naruto spotted Shizune walking over with 2 folders of paperwork, with a smile on her face and pen behind her left ear. As soon as she approached, she looked down at the kids before laughing a bit.
"Fun fact.. He likes to rap."
Bee smirked as he began to bounce in place and make his own beat as he pointed to the woman. "Yo yo yo! Shizune walk around about as light as a feath'a! And when she floatin down here, we be hangin togeth'a!"
She chuckled and nodded before turning to Sasuke and handing over the folders she held. "These are the assignments I was supposed to walk you through. Will you come with me for a moment?"
Sasuke nodded, walking only a few feet away to a table where she explained why each paper was given to the boy, leaving Kiba and Naruto with Bee- all of them staring at the table. Bee laughed through his nostrils, breaking the silence as he folded his arms and bobbed his head, making Kiba blink and Naruto to get excited. Another rap was going to be heard!
"..Yo..Yo.. That dude ain't got no game- he look lame! But nobody's at fault here-psh his mom's ta blame. Talkin to my girl, ha, there aint no way- he aint never gonna steal my Shi-zu-ne!"
Kiba laughed, however Naruto's grin deformed into a killers scowl. "Oi.. Watch your mouth pal. That's my Sasuke you're talkin about.."
Bee flinched but was sure to smirk. "Yo, yo yo- I say whatever I like about muthafuckin' whomever- Man I don't give a fuck if you and he are together! I clown who I want, I crush who I like- better pump yo brakes kid, you know I'm right!"
"No you're not! So shut the fuck up before I kick your ass!" Naruto hissed making Kiba take two cautious steps back.
Bee laughed again. "Yo, you're weak, you don't know how to rhyme- until you learn how, you just a waste of time.."
"Huh! What'd you say?" Naruto hissed.
Kiba laughed covering his mouth slightly. "Oh shit.. I think he challenged you!"
"Huh? Challenged me to what?"
"You have to rap him." Shikamaru answered from afar.
"Rap?" Naruto blinked making Kiba nod.
"You basically gotta rhyme all your words like he's doing. IF you're better than him, he automatically respects you. That's like.. the code of the streets!" the Inuzuka lectured.
"Why would they make an erobody like that.." Shika questioned himself, while Naruto grunted and rolled up his sleeves as his fuzzy ears appeared.
"Hmph.. Rhyming my words huh? That doesn't seem too hard.." he grunted, before pointing. "Oi, you wanna rap battle? Well you got one! You start bitch-braids!"
This comment made everyone in the lab flinch and turn, including Itachi, Obito and Kabuto who were a ways away actually looking at erobody boxes and catalogs. Sasuke on the other hand dropped his pen at the table not too far, while Shizune widened her eyes and blinked.
There was no way they were really gonna rap were they?
Bee nodded his head. "Hmph.. Hmph. Yo.. Yo! You a weak ass boy, don't nobody know yo' name! Look around you son, you in my frame-game! I'm Bee, the King! This ain't no thing! I be killin' off my enemies with rhymes that sting! You want it? You got it! I'mma knock you out- my words rattle with yo brain and be fuckin' up ya mouth! Tch... I don't even know why you steppin to me- cuz once I grip ya with words my I ain't settin' you free! Bitch, you know me! I'm THA King Bee! Kickin yo ass with these rhymes like my name's Bruce Lee! Daaamn~ I'mma help you out my friend- i'mma stop my worthy rhymes and let this mini-beef end! So accept a loss and be on yo' way- now run off and cry to your little Sas-gaay..."
"OHHH SHIT!" Kiba shouted covering his mouth.
Shikamaru only flinched.. that.. was insane..
Itachi and Obito dropped their catalogs, while Kabuto groaned pinching the bridge of his nose, embarrassed of that failed u.k.e.
Sasuke, however, sat frozen at the table with Shizune having no words to say.. For a guy who was just sitting down writing forms.. he felt like he was the one that got served..
Naruto grunted, folding his arms and nodding his head as his ears twitched every now and then, but as soon as they stilled the boy looked up to Bee and glared.
"..Quick question.. Do I have to say 'Yo' at the beginning?" he asked making everyone flinch.
"Ohgoddammit.." Shikamaru mumbled facepalming.
"Naruto! You can say whatever you want! Just so long as sounds good!" Kiba shouted.
"Alright alright.. I get it now.." The boy muttered before glaring. "...Hmph.. First off.. Fuck your frame-game, you gonna learn my name! Puttin' yo' sucky ass letter's to a crying-shame! Six letters- not three! So clean, and spotly! Sexy, and cocky! Rhyme time- on grand prix! Yo' girl, on sightsee! Who's winning?- That's me! Oohhh! 'Bout time you learned, fo sho! Mostly everybody here know the name Na-ru-to! Annd, fact! You need fix your act! Cause nooobody likes a guy who's rude and fat! Yo'sho!... And this is not the end, let me make this clear so I won't have to say it again!- I'm not your 'son' and I'm not your 'friend'- Can you hear me bro, can you comprehend? Alright, this is it... I'm almost done- cause I'm down to be clownin' your number one. Can you take a guess, Lemme hear you say- Yeah y'know I'm talkin' bout Miss, Shi-zu-ne! Such a cute little lady with pretty lips- Best believe I'mma hit it right after this! Hi-Hi pretty lady, do you like my rhymes- Do you think they're clever? Tell me now 'n I'll fuck you good forever and ever~!"
"OHHHHH SHIT! GOT AT YOUR GIRL BRO!" Kiba shouted, covering his mouth and pointing as he circled around Bee.
Naruto only laughed as he waved to Shizune with a grin on his face, making the woman sit completely still as her skin flushed crimson. Sasuke beside her on the other hand couldn't help but stare as if time had collapsed before him.. Naruto could rap?
"No fucking way.." Shikamaru managed to say.
The only thing missing in this silent moment was a slow clap that would gradually bring everyone in the room to clap as well.. Hm.. Could Nara pull that off? Hell even if he couldn't he felt he had to clap! Naruto deserved it! That was awesome!
Slowly bringing his hands up and almost together, the boy paused eventually hearing someone else start a slow clap, making everyone in the room turn to the doorway and spot Kakashi. The man continued clapping, but was sure to glance at everyone else before folding his arms and shrugging a bit.
"..Well.. I kind of expected some of you to join in.. but.. I..guess..not.."
"Kakashi." Kabuto spoke, marching over to him from across the room. "Sir, is something wrong? What're you doing down here?"
"I came to check on the progress of everything, if that's alright." he answered before glancing to the left side of the room, where his assistant sat. "Is the paperwork signed yet, Shizune?"
"I'm on it right now." The woman responded.
"Good. And after you're done, be a sweet girl and fetch me a coffee would you?"
"Screw you." she snapped.
"Oh not now.. I have a headache." Hatake groaned massaging his right temple as he waltzed off leaving her to growl. "Obito, how goes it? Have you found anything to your liking?" Kakashi questioned as he approached the elder Uchiha's.
Obito flinched, shuffling for a moment before lifting his catalog along with Itachi, then shaking his head as he turned his pages. "Uh! Well, I couldn't find anything for the kid yet!"
"Be sure to tell me when you do. I wish to get this exchange done before nightfall." Kakashi groaned.
"Hey, we aren't being that slow! Quit being so damn impatient Hatake!"
"I'll try." he answered, groaning once more.
"Question." Itachi mumbled looking to only Kakashi. "Seeing as you created Naruto, and you seem to know him, just what unit is he? I don't see him in any of your catalogs."
"There's a reason for that." Kakashi spoke before turning to glance at the dolls that bounced around and bobbed their head while making phony looking gang signs. "-Both Bee and..Naruto.. are apart of a special brand of dolls I'm working on."
"A special brand?" Obito repeated. "What does that mean?"
"What he means to say is, your Naruto is apart of a complicated and more advanced series of dolls that, in blatant terms, could be I.D'd as an actual human." Kabuto spoke, aligning his glasses as he approached the group.
"An actual.. Wh-what!"
Kakashi quickly covered Obito's mouth before sighing. "Keep it down please.."
The Uchiha nodded as Hatake removed his hand from his lips, leaving him to gulp audibly and whisper. "T-That doll is human?"
"A fabricated version of sorts." Kakashi spoke, dulling his eyes. "..I decided to come up with a more realistic doll that would hold a combative personality and actually have a mindset to decipher right and wrong like a human, however still bend to the will of his owner like any other u.k.e."
"Wait a minute... are you splicing orphaned babies or some shit?" Obito flinched freaking out and ignoring whatever the hell was just said. "Kakashi! That's against the law!"
The billionaire groaned as the doctor beside him let out a pompous chuckle while he compulsively aligned his glasses. "Perhaps, you'd both like a thorough explanation.. from the beginning?" Kabuto laughed.
Obito gulped while Itachi began to slowly narrow his eyes and glare at the two before him. Something wasn't right about this whole u.k.e business and he was starting to get a bad feeling about everything here..
[...]
A/N: I'm sorry but are you sensing a plot? Yeah, I decided to mess with you guys' brains for a bit, just to keep you on edge! Mwahaha! Uh Ahem.. Uh I'd like to say.. for a person who can't rap (me) I pulled off Naruto and Bee's rhyme-off well! I feel so cool!