Chapter 21
POV Connelly
When I wake up, it's still dark in my bedroom. I look at my mobile: it's 6:30. I rub my eyes, hardly believing I've not slept longer. I close my eyes again, trying to get back to sleep, but I soon realize I'm awake, and well awake. I sigh, get up and go to the kitchen. I open the fridge and drink some water. When I walk back to my bedroom, I eye House's bedroom. My eyes go from my bedroom to his, for long minutes. After a while, unable to wait any more, I open the door of his bedroom. I am quite surprised when I see he's awake too. He turns to me and looks as surprised as I am. He is laid in his bed, his arms crossed behind his head, the sheets only covering him until his crotch. I swallow hard when I see he's shirtless and immediately wonder if he sleeps naked, as he used to when we were dating. He gives me an inquiring look and I walk to his bed, move the sheets away and lay next to him. He looks at me:
"Erm… maybe you want something?"
I don't reply, I just raise my hand, stroke his face gently and whisper his name. He puts his hand on mine:
"Connelly… what are you doing?"
"I don't know", I say with a weak smile.
Then I bend down and kiss him. It's soft, gentle, tender. I love it. I wish it would never stop. But I'm quite satisfied. It lasts long enough to satisfy me. We're both breathless and we laugh when we realize it. He strokes my face in turn and I close my eyes, enjoying so much his caresses. I open my eyes again when he says my name:
"Do you want more than that?" he asks.
"And you?" I ask back.
"I don't know. I'm… I'm scared."
Just like me, I think.
"I am too."
"What if we take things easy?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, frowning.
"Well… for example we could do things as if we were dating for the first time. I could take you to the restaurant tomorrow evening for example. What do you think?"
"You mean this evening", I say with a smile.
He looks at the alarm clock and smiles back:
"Yes, you're right. This evening. For now, I think we should be…good."
"Okay. Guess I should go back to bed then, right?"
He nods:
"Yes, you should."
I weakly smile, kiss him again and leave his bedroom.
When I wake up again, it's 12PM. I am quite surprised I've slept that much but, well, I probably needed it. I stretch and yawn, enjoying feeling so recharged. I get up and go in the kitchen: House is here, cooking.
"Hi", I say before yawning again.
He turns to me and smiles:
"Hi there. Sleep well?"
"Like I was in a fucking coma. You?"
"I got up at 10. I didn't want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful in your sleep."
I give him a mischievous look:
"Oh then you watched me sleep?"
"A bit yeah. I've always loved to do so."
I blush and he has a broad grin. I nod, all smiles.
"You're hungry?" he asks while I take orange juice in the fridge.
"Yep."
"Sit down then. I'll serve you."
"Thanks House. You're adorable."
He turns his back at me and I'm pretty sure it's his turn to blush. When lunch is ready, we start eating together.
"Well, about what we said this morning", he starts saying and my heart skips a beat. I'm scared he's changed his mind. "We should probably do as if we were actually dating for the first time. So maybe it would be better if I'd spend the day at my place, what do you think? And sleep at my place tonight?"
I hold back a relieved sigh and smile at him:
"Yeah it would be good."
He leaves soon after lunch. The afternoon is awfully long and boring. I go have a walk hoping time would go by faster. It kinda works and I almost have to rush home so I can get ready for my date with House. I choose a nice dress, not too sexy so he doesn't feel "trapped". I put some make up on and then I wait for him to pick me up. He arrives right on time. I know it's a great effort for him. He has come with his motorbike and I must say I'm a bit scared because House drives quite fast but tonight, he's good. He even stops at red lights! I like the fact that I can embrace him and touch him. Moreover when I can do that and pretend it's just because I'm freaking out. I don't know what restaurant he has chosen but, when we finally stop, I realize he has chosen a different one from the one of our first date. I silently thank him for that: it's really as if we started on new basis, as if we started a new story together. He takes my hand when we come in the restaurant and I love this initiative. During dinner, we talk about work and about our lives, our pasts. It's one of the first times House talk about what he has lived, what happened to his leg and so on. Even if I knew about the story, I'm happy he trusts me enough to talk about that with me. I know it's a terrible memory for him. When we're done, we eave the restaurant and I tease him:
"Would you drive me back or should I call a taxi?"
"Maybe you could walk. It's not that far", he teases me back.
I laugh and he says:
"Well, I'll drive you back of course."
I smile and get on his motorbike. I close my eyes and enjoy his body against mine. Though I feel sad we won't be together for the night. I feel anxiety overwhelming me: I will be alone for the first time since the baby died. Without really being aware of it, I hug House tighter. When he stops in front of my flat, I feel nauseous. Silently, I walk to the door. He follows me. I turn to him when I'm about to open my flat's door:
"Well, thanks for the evening. It was great."
"You're welcome. I enjoyed it too."
He hugs me and says:
"Well, I should go. Goodnight."
"Night House."
He starts walking away and I grab his arm:
"Please! Don't go please!"
He looks at me:
"What's going on?"
I rush on him, pin him against the door and start kissing his neck. I just want him to stay with me tonight.
"Come on Connelly. I thought we had a deal."
"Yes", I murmur, my face buried in his neck. "But I don't want to be alone. Please, stay."
He gently pushes me away so he can look at me:
"You'll be allright. I promise I'll come tomorrow okay?"
I start crying:
"Please, please…"
"You'll be okay", he repeats. "Everything's gonna be okay. It's better for the two of us, remember ? Let's take our time."
"But I don't want to sleep with you!" I lie. "I just want you to sleep at home."
"You know what'll happen. It's getting hard to resist you. I know it's better for you if I sleep at my place tonight. And the other nights too. Are you okay?"
I sigh:
"Fine. But you'll be there tomorrow right?"
"Yeah. Don't worry."
He smiles at me and moves away to leave. I say with an outraged tone:
"What about my kiss?"
He chuckles, comes back and takes my lips in a great kiss. I close my eyes and enjoy it. I'm so scared. I know it's ridiculous, I'm not 5, but I can't help it: I'm scared.
"I'll go now."
I nod and come in my flat before I change my mind. I wait for him to change his mind and to come back for two hours. I end up falling asleep on the couch.
I groan with disappointment when a noise takes me out of an awesome dream with House. Soka and Maya are laid on me and I need some minutes to understand that the noise that woke me up was my doorbell. It turns more and more insisting. I end up yelling:
"Fine, I'm coming!"
I hate being awake this way. I like sweet and nice wake ups. I like waking up with House, I bitterly think. I walk to the door and open it, groaning:
"What?"
It's House. I immediately curse myself for having the same clothes than yesterday evening and for probably looking like hell. He eyeballs me.
"Erm… Good morning. Did you sleep like that?"
"Yeah… What time is it?"
"10AM. I came as soon as I woke up, as I promised. I brought breakfast", he adds, showing a bag he's holding.
"Good. Come in."
I move away so he can do it and I close the door behind him. I make some coffee and we eat breakfast together.
"Cuddy called me", House says.
"What did she want?" I can't help spiting on.
He gives me a disparaging look and goes on:
"She said we had a case today. So I thought I could bring you breakfast and after that we go together at the hospital."
"That's nice of you."
"You should get ready. Don't take offense, but you look awful."
"Thanks", I ironically say.
He chuckles and I go to the bathroom.