Previously, on "I'm Not Innocent. Not At All."...
"Anna Ross..." He pulled a box from his pocket and took my hand. "Will you marry me?"
I felt tears spring to my eyes. Oh my god. He proposed.
Say something!
Say something!
Say something!
I opened my mouth, but closed it again. My tears started rolling.
Holy shit... if I fainted right now, would he catch me?
Yeah, probably.
"Anna?" he asked. "Why are you crying?"
"I... I'm crying... I'm crying because... I'm crying because..."
Two Years Later
I feel so awkward.
I mean, when Remus asked me to bake some cookies, I thought that I'd be able to, you know? As a married woman, I should be able to cook, right? Yeah, I thought so too.
Turns out, cookies are a lot harder than it looks.
I figured that I'd do it the muggle way, because of how times are right now.
So, I followed the recipe and bought all the things that I'd need.
Easy, right?
Of course. I'm not that cooking-impaired.
And then it started talking about pre-heating or something.
So I went and read the oven manual.
Then, I pre-heated to oven. Okay, so far so good.
Yeah... right.
It told me to put them all together in a bowl and then mix.
With what?
I don't know.
That's when I gave up on the whole muggle thing.
So I used magic to make the dough.
NOT CHEATING.
I pre-heated the oven. And I put the trays in the oven.
Now I'm just waiting.
There's not much to do.
I could clean. But I don't want to walk away from the cookies.
At least that's what I'm telling myself.
We're not having guests over, we're just going over to Lily and James's place.
We all get together from time to time.
Sirius and whatever girlfriend he has this week, Peter and Heather, Remus and I, we all go over to their house, and we have a nice dinner.
It was our turn to bring dessert.
Hence, the cookies.
Huh? That's not normal.
I got up from the chair I was sitting on and moved towards the door in our flat. I peered around the corner of the door and saw the door open.
Oh no.
I silently ran back into the kitchen and looked around madly.
The first place that caught my eye was the pantry.
It would be too obvious if I Apparated.
I couldn't floo over to someone else's flat.
So I shoved myself into the pantry and closed the door almost completely.
And then... Alyson walked in the room.
I stopped breathing entirely.
I should not have used magic today.
"She's not here." Alyson walked out of my line of sight and I heard muffled voices.
Bing.
I stiffened.
The cookies.
The cookies.
Crap, the cookies were done.
My body shook like crazy.
I felt sweat forming all over.
The footsteps started.
I could possibly take Alyson.
But there were more than Alyson.
There had to be at least six more, judging purely by footsteps.
I could not take seven death eaters.
I fumbled for my wand and pulled it out of my apron.
God, I was going to die in an apron.
I just had to mourn that for one moment, before the wave crashed over me again.
I was going to die.
I hated knowing that fact.
When I imagined dying, I imagined a very old me.
Like, very old.
Then I would fall asleep.
And wake up in heaven.
Or purgatory.
Or whatever that place is called.
But probably not hell.
I was not a hellish person in my life.
But that's not how it's going to happen, apparently.
I was done-for when Alyson stepped back into the room.
"You two, check upstairs. The oven was on. She's here."
The voice was icy.
It sent chills down my spine.
It had gotten worse over the two years since Hogwarts.
She still had four Death Eaters with her.
"You two, check the rest of the downstairs."
Okay, two.
It was still three-on-one.
Weapons, what could I hurt these people with.
The Death Eaters seemed not to be able to say anything.
As one came into my view, I cast a silencing charm on him nonverbally.
Jackpot.
I looked down, trying to see what I could knock him out with.
My shoe.
I pulled one of them off and held it in my left hand, my wand still in my right.
What was I doing?
I'm crazy!
I can't hurt a Death Eater with a shoe!
But I couldn't kill him...
I couldn't kill anything.
I had Remus take all spiders and set them free outside.
I couldn't possibly kill any of them.
Not even Alyson.
And then I remembered.
Allison.
A new fever pulsed through my body.
But it diminished when I saw Alyson's eye in the crack of the door.
She threw the door open and I was exposed.
Shoe and all.
Her icy laugh pierced the air.
"A shoe?" she asked. "That's all?"
I couldn't form words.
The shoe clattered to the ground.
"I won't drag this out." She smiled at me.
"Your poor little friend Allison had to suffer before she died."
I swallowed.
She was a bitch.
Who was she to bring up Allison?
She...
"Bitch," I whispered, almost silent.
"What did you say?" she asked.
I looked into her cold eyes. "Bitch!" I yelled at her.
I brandished my wand.
But realized that there were still two Death Eaters.
"Oh, you should not have said that," she told me.
Alyson raised her wand, and time slowed.
There was no flashback of my life.
Just the sweeping motion of Alyson's wand, and her mouth forming the words.
I couldn't hear them, but I suppose that's a good thing.
I saw the green shoot out slowly, and I closed my eyes.
The last thing I saw in my mind's eye before the green light hit me was Remus's face, and the way he smiled the day I agreed to marry him.
---
"And I came home that day and saw her sprawled out in the pantry." Remus looked down at the floor. "Stupid me, I thought that she had accidentally set the house on fire baking cookies. When it turns out that she..."
"It's okay, Remus," Tonks assured him. "It sounds like... It sounds like she really loved you." Her eyes focused on the tombstone in front of them.
"I wasn't myself for years. And then James and Lily... And Sirius... And Peter..."
"Whatever happened to Heather and Tiffany?" Tonks asked earnestly.
Remus shrugged. "Tiffany's somewhere safe in America and I haven't heard from Heather since Peter left her at the altar."
"That's terrible," Tonks breathed, hardly being able to take in this tragedy.
"That's what Voldemort does to people..." He turned his head from the tombstone and whispered, "He tears them to pieces. I just wish..."
"What? You just wish what?" Tonks prodded when Remus didn't finish his thought.
"I just wish that he wasn't so predictable. That I knew he wasn't going to ruin my life again."
Tonks laid a hand on his shoulder. "Is this why?" she asked him quietly. Remus nodded his head slowly. "Remus," she began, "you said that in her speech, she said that you just had to open your heart to somebody. You got your heart broken once, and I think that she would want you to find yourself in somebody again." She paused, hoping this wasn't too much for her. "She wants you to be happy," she whispered.
Remus turned around and took Tonks gently by the hands. "I want to, I really do." He bowed his head. "I just..."
"You're still in love with her."
"No, it's not that. I don't want him to take my life away from me again."
"We can fight. Together." Remus still looked hesitant. "I won't ever leave you." Her eyes sparkled with honesty. "Let's just try."
"I'm crying because... I'm saying yes!" I exclaimed, wiping my eyes.
He was almost as surprised as I was with my answer.
"Really?" he asked, getting up and hugging me.
"Really!" I exclaimed. We broke the hug and he slipped the ring onto my finger.
I lifted it up and stared at it for a moment.
Oops.
"Uh... Remus?" I asked cautiously.
"Yeah?"
"It's on the wrong hand."
After much pulling, we managed to get it off and he put it on the other hand.
---
"It's so... pretty," commented Gigi. Kira, Gigi, Emma, and Lily had all been "oo"ing and "ah"ing since I had told them.
Emma hugged me for what seemed like the tenth time since we got on the train. "I can't believe you're engaged! It's so... amazing. Like, really amazing. Like absolutely fan-frucking-tastic!"
"Oh. My. God. We totally have to help you find a dress!" Kira exclaimed.
"Oo! A white one!" Gigi exclaimed and Emma and I burst into giggles. There was a knock at the compartment door before it swung open. Emma stopped giggling.
I turned around. "Sirius!" I ran up and shoved my hand in his face.
"So he wasn't lying. Hah, congrats!" He gave me a friendly hug. "When he first thought of the idea, I told him he was pansy." I pulled away from the hug and looked at him weirdly. "Then he went out and order pink tulips," he finished.
I hit him on the shoulder. "Are you here to make fun? Because I won't tolerate it!" I pushed him out the door again. "Now go, I'm having girl time."
"Now that sounds like –"
"It doesn't involve you, yes. I would have to agree." I gave him one final push out the door and lent against the doorframe. "Tell Remus I'll be there in a while, okay?"
"Fine, the future Mrs. Lupin." I giggled.
"It's got a good sound to it, doesn't it?"
---
My head fell into the crook of his neck as we cuddled on the couch.
"Remus?" I mused quietly.
He looked up from the book he was reading and kissed my forehead. "Yes?"
"Do you think James will ever propose to Lily?" I asked for the ten thousandth time.
He laughed a little. "Eventually. Do you think Lily will wait?"
"Yeah, she's just getting impatient." There was silence again.
But it's not awkward.
No, we grew out of the awkward phase.
Like, eons ago.
Now we can sit and enjoy each other's company in silence.
Without the awkward.
"Remus?" I asked again. He looked up at me expectantly. "When are we going to set the date?" I asked.
"Anna..." He started.
"I know, you keep saying that we can't do it at such a bad time. But... I don't know. I'm not asking for a huge wedding." I kept my head straight, not wanting to see his expression.
"With my parents gone, the only people that really need to be at my wedding are Emma, Kira, Gigi, and Lily."
"Anna, we're getting married. I promise." He patted my left hand, his hand grazing over the ring. "I don't want to risk anything."
I laced my fingers through his. "I know, you keep saying that."
He squeezed my hand gently. "Because I love you. And I want to keep you safe."
"I know..." I stared at our hands. A smirk came onto my lips as I thought about what he just said.
"What? What's so funny?" he asked me, seeing my smirk.
"You know that was totally corny, right?" I pointed out. We both started laughing and I crawled over into his lap.
I stared into his eyes, happy. "But I love you too." I gave him a quick kiss and went back to staring at him.
"I think you're getting a little loopy," he said, standing and sweeping me into his arms. "I think it's time for you to go to bed!" He started walking me towards the bedroom.
"Put me down!" I squealed. We heard a pop behind us, and Remus turned around only to see James Potter pacing in our living room. He gently put me on the floor.
"Moony, Lily's pregnant!" James exclaimed, pulling at his hair.
My eyes bulged.
Uh-oh.
"James, that's great," Moony started, then stopped. "Oh no. She was expecting you to..."
"Yes."
"And you..."
"Didn't."
"Oh no, James. How long?"
"How long what? Since she dropped the bomb? Since she got... yeah?"
"The first one." James thought for a moment.
"Couple hours?"
"Where have you been?" I suddenly asked.
"Oh hi Anna," James greeted, apparently not knowing I was here. "I kind of... went to see Sirius."
I slapped my hand to my face. "James, you are so stupid." I turned to Remus. "I'm going over to see Lily. Don't let him screw this up any more than he already has."
---
"Lily?" I asked, opening the unlocked door. "Lily, are you here?"
"Up here!" I heard from up the stairs. She didn't sound sad.
There was music playing.
"Lily?" The redhead bounced out of one of the rooms.
"Hey Anna, how's my engaged friend doing?" she asked me.
"Still engaged. Are you okay? James just showed up at our flat." Lily burst out laughing.
"You know, he's always pulling at my leg. With all his pranks, it's like he never grew up! So I tried to make him!" She smiled hugely.
"So you're not pregnant?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"Far from it. Just wanted to give him a little scare."
I shook my head. "Oh," she added, "and I wanted to see if that got him to propose to me. But I guess I'll just have to wait!"
"So what are you going to do when he comes back?" She smiled mischievously.
"Act drunk. And you're going to do it with me!"
---
We spent the next half hour dumping bottles of fire-whiskey down the drain and laughing like crazy people. We scattered the bottles around the house and around us (and, okay, so we had a little.).
Lily was just contemplating what James would think when he came home, when we heard two pops.
Show time.
Lily started a slurred conversation about baby names. And we didn't have to work that hard with the slurs.
We were pretty hammered at the time.
"Lily?"
She winked at me. "I'm in here!" she giggled. When James turned the corner, she waved the half drunk fire whiskey bottle at him. "Hi James!" She giggled again. "Where're you been?"
"Are you drunk?" he asked her. She looked at me.
"A 'ittle." She hiccupped and started laughing. And purposely, or so I thought, she fell out of her chair.
"Anna?" Remus asked from behind us. I got up and stumbled over to him, giving him a very drunk kiss on the lips.
"Hi!" I squeaked. James was attempting to get Lily up.
"Lily's pregnant, why are you two getting drunk?" he said, with all the strictness of a schoolteacher.
"I'm not pregnant!" a very drunk Lily exclaimed. James dropped her.
"What?" he hissed at her.
"Yuh-oh," I giggled.
"Let's go home, Anna," Remus coaxed.
---
I honestly don't know how, but Remus managed to get me to the flat and was leading me to the bedroom once more.
"Are we ever going to get married?" I asked for the second time tonight.
"Let's not talk about this right now."
"No, let's talk about it." I sat down on the floor, stubborn. "I don't like this waiting. I've been waiting for two years now."
Remus sat down in front of me and took my hands. "I know. It's a lot to ask."
"It's just been... hard. You know? It's hard to know that there are people out there that don't want us to be happy..." I paused. "That don't want us to get married."
"Anna, all I'm asking is-"
"For more time?" I finished. "Let's just get married. I don't need a dress. I don't need a reception." I averted my eyes downward. "I don't think I can wait for more time."
"We're getting married."
"Are we really?" I asked. "Are we honest-to-God getting married? Because even I don't believe that lie anymore."
"It's not a lie, Anna," Remus tried to convince me. I gently took my hands back from him.
Fiddling with my hands in my lap, I whispered, "It's not destiny, Remus."
"What are you talking about?" he asked me.
"When we first got engaged... I thought that it was destined." I started picking at my nails. "That we were meant to be together."
"We were. We are!" I heard Remus getting worried.
"I... I don't think so. There's so many... forces. You know?" I was feeling more sober by the moment. "I mean, you keep saying we can't get married because of Voldemort... And I keep thinking that Alyson didn't just go away." I paused, and waited for him to say something.
He didn't.
"Our timing was never right." I looked up at him. "We're not destined to be together." I got up off the floor and went into the bedroom.
"So what?" I heard from the door as I started changing. "Not everything has to be destiny."
"Remus," I started, yanking my suitcase from the closet. "We weren't meant to be. Which means we're never getting married."
"We are getting married!"
I looked up from my suitcase and looked at him. "We're not getting married. You can't honestly believe that yourself."
"Anna, the timing, you said-"
"It's not right." I started pouring my clothes into the suitcase. "It's not going to be right."
"It will be." Remus was losing steam, I could tell.
I pulled open one of my drawers and grabbed the contents. "It hasn't been right in two years. It's never going to be right."
"So... What are we going to do?" He asked me. I cast a shrinking spell on my suitcase.
"We aren't doing anything." I looked up at him. "Except break up."
"Break up?" His voice broke. "You're leaving?" I pointed to the suitcase.
"We're not meant to be."
"YOU'RE DRUNK!" he exclaimed. "You can't possibly make a sane decision when you're drunk!"
I ignored him and kept packing. I heard him getting more and more restless. "Can we at least talk about this?"
"We've had two years of talking. Two years, and we couldn't work it out. Not all the talking in the world could help us now." I grabbed the handle of the suitcase with the contents of my life in it. "If I don't think there's anything here for me, tell me why I shouldn't go."
"Because I love you," he choked out. I prepared myself for Apparation.
"I don't think that's enough for me anymore."
"... Because we can't get married," I whispered, taking my hand back. I wiped at my eyes. Remus got up awkwardly. "But that doesn't mean we have to break up!" I exclaimed quickly.
Oh God.
This is really bad.
Like... really bad.
"This is all really sweet..." I told him, looking out at all flowers. "Really sweet. But, we're seventeen. We can't possibly..." I saw him tuck the ring in his pocket.
"It's okay, really," he assured me. "Let's just... put this in the past."
I laced my fingers through his and walked through the rest of the flowers.
Awkward silence.
I thought we had bridged this a loooooooong time ago.
But... wow.
He just...
Yeah.
And I just...
Yeah.
And wow...
That is... embarrassing.
Really.
Oh shit.
What was he thinking?
What was I thinking?
Was it just the graduation? Like, did it make him more romantic or something?
Because... God! We're seventeen!
We can't get married.
Even if we wanted to, we couldn't.
According to muggle laws, we're not of age.
And we can't get married.
Unless our parents comply.
Which they wouldn't.
I'm overthinking.
I don't like this.
It's awkward.
OH MY GOD.
Remus just proposed to me!
And I just said no!
We're never going to be the same again.
It's impossible.
---
What was I thinking?
You can't really stay together after you've refused to get engaged.
But that was a long time ago.
I've aged. Unfortunately.
You-Know-Who's aged as well.
But still alive, which I didn't know.
So, my life as a muggle is getting harder and harder with each passing day.
I swore off magic because I couldn't take it.
It would remind me of Remus.
We're not together anymore.
We lasted about a month out of Hogwarts, and broke up.
I've had quite a few serious relationships, and almost got married once.
But then I couldn't help thinking about Remus.
So I had to stop seeing him.
Then I started living as a muggle, to keep my mind off of him.
But, no matter how far you run, it always catches up to you.
Which is why I'm standing at my door looking into the eyes of Sirius Black.
"Sirius," I breathed. "What... are you doing here?"
"Well it's nice to see you too, Anna." I hugged him like the old friend he was.
"I've missed you, you know!" I exclaimed, backing out of the hug. "You look good. Better than I would expect."
"I suppose you know, right?" he asked, walking on in.
"Know what?" I mused, closing the door.
"That I went to Azkaban."
"You WHAT?" I yelled a little too loudly. He looked at me, the same twinkle in his eye.
He laughed a little. "You honestly didn't know?" he asked. "Wow, you've been out of the loop."
"Well, that's what happens. You know, when you swear off of magic." It was his turn to be shocked.
"You, Anna Ross, second only to Lily Evans in Hogwarts live as a MUGGLE?" he asked me. I nodded proudly. "And you call yourself a pureblood." He shook his head before laughing again.
"So what's with the surprise visit?" I asked. "It's not every day that your past comes back and bites you." I paused for a moment, and then realized I had made a pun. We laughed together, and I invited him to sit down on the couch.
Sirius relaxed and smiled at me. "You look good for mid-thirties, I must say."
I shoved his shoulder. "Shut up. Just tell me why you're here."
"Well, if you must know, I've decided to meet my kid." I blinked a few times. "Now that I'm not recognized as a criminal, I've wanted to clear some other things up in my life."
"And I come in where...?" It wasn't very clear.
"You're coming with me, of course!"
"I..." I bit my lip. "Okay," I agreed. "It's got to be better than the last scheme I took part in."
---
We looked Tiffany up in the phonebook and went to her house. Sirius, for once, thought things through and waited until it was summer and she would be here. I knocked on the door, because Sirius didn't want Tiffany to shut the door in his face.
An older Tiffany opened the door and smiled at me. "Hi, can I help you?" she asked.
"Tiffany, it's Anna! From school." Her face lit up and she hugged me lightly.
"Oh Anna, so great to see you!" she exclaimed.
"It's really nice to see you as well. So... how's life?" I asked very lamely.
"Oh, my daughter and I have been just fine. I really like the independence of being a single mother."
"Daughter, oh that's so great! What's her name?" I asked, curious. Also because Sirius told me to ask her.
"Her names Stephanie. Oh, I just love her to bits, you know?" I bit my lip.
"Uh, hate to be the person to give the blast from the past but... There's actually somebody else who would like to come and say hi." I shot a glance at Sirius, who was hiding behind the door. He was reluctant to come out, so I pulled his arm out.
"Hi... Tiffany," he greeted awkwardly.
"Mum! Mum! Where are my tap shoes?" I heard a voice from inside the house yell. Tiffany looked glad for a distraction. "Steph, they're in the living room!"
"Thanks Mum!" There were footsteps and a girl, about eighteen or nineteen appeared behind Tiffany. "Ready?" she asked.
I studied the girl. She was absolutely the offspring of Sirius and Tiffany. She had gorgeous wavy, black hair and dazzling blue-gray eyes.
"Almost Steph," Tiffany whispered, her eyes fixed on Sirius.
---
To my surprise, the meeting went well. Stephanie met her father, Tiffany and Sirius started talking, and it all ended up with the four of us going back to Sirius's house for dinner together. He said that some Order members would be there, but that they would all be very glad to expand the party.
I asked him if... he was going to be there, and Sirius told me that he didn't know.
So, I went.
And now.
I'm standing.
In the hall.
Staring into the beautiful, perfect, absolutely amazing eyes of THE ONE!
THE ONLY!
Remus effing Lupin.
"Er... Hi Remus."
TO BE CONTINUED!
Ooooooh. Yeah. That's how it ends. –shrug- The first ending was how I originally planned it to end. Fortunately, I realized that there had to be a happier ending. So I came up with two. And one of them happened to... well, have Sirius be alive after OotP and Anna come back and see Remus. So yes. I will EVENTUALLY get around to posting the sequel. I'll post another chapter in this story when it's about to posted. And while you're waiting for that, why don't you all go over and R&R my new story? Eh?
LOVE YOU GUYS!
Abbey