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-Drowned Hopes: :whistles innocently: I don't feel spoken to xD

-orene treke: Well, I'm really happy that you're enjoying my fic. As I've said somewhere before, I'm not so sure if it is canon… it simply matches my imagination ;)

-sussiekitten: :blushes:blushes more: Thank you! Can a single review make a day? Certainly!

Insecurity

1st Hunting Moon

Eragon watched the sun shine on the white wall on one side of the room. It was still very early in the morning and the light was of a pale yellow. The wind had slackened noticeably, but the air in the room was crisp, cooling his face. Or rather, the right side of his face – his left rested protected against all weather on the warm chest that was Murtagh's. He sighed and tried to do the impossible: huddle even closer to the brawny body next to him. It did not really work out, but as a response the sleeping Rider tightened his embrace. For Eragon that was just fine. He closed his eyes.

Bit by bit last night's events found their way into his consciousness. One of his hands reached up and touched his neck, right where it had been claimed. Possessive lips, working their way up to his ear. A swift tongue, caressing his skin. Eragon felt a shiver run down his spine. He had indeed wanted close contact with Murtagh, but he had not thought that the other would answer him like that. And he had had no idea what it would feel like.

When Murtagh's hand had tentatively tried to reposition him, Eragon had been afraid for a moment, worried that he might not like what came next. How wrong he had been. How absolutely wrong!

Eragon's face was not cold anymore, heat rising slowly but determinedly.

Feeling the older one's chapped lips on his mouth had been… unbelievable. And then the tongue… After a while Eragon had sensed that Murtagh had tried to enter his mouth and not knowing what else to do, he had opened it a little. Then his thinking had stopped completely. It had been his first deep kiss. As the 'hero' that he was for the Varden, he had slowly gotten used to having bold girls come up to him and give him a peck here or there. It had always embarrassed him, but otherwise not meant much. Apart from that, he had heard talking, lots of it, about what it would be like to feel another person's tongue in your mouth, and he had been awake many nights trying to imagine it. Screw all that. The reality was entirely different.

Eragon felt his mouth go dry only thinking about the little that he remembered. And not only was his mouth reacting.

Deeply self-conscious Eragon became aware of his growing erection. He placed his hand on his crotch, childishly trying to prevent anything further to happen, but instead it sped up the process and a small moan escaped him.

He had turned a dark shade of red by now, embarrassed to the core. Had he been hard last night? He could not remember, all he had noticed were those lips and tongue, introducing him to a whole new world. Had Murtagh been in this state? He also did not know, yet he thought he had not felt anything the like. Then why did it have to happen now? And why to him?

Hopefully Murtagh would not wake up anytime soon, at least not as long Eragon's problem was still visible. What would he think of him if he knew? And, worse, what would he do? Eragon was sure that he could already picture the dark-haired giving him an odd look, alienated by his unduly response to the kissing.

He was confused. Last night everything had been so… natural. He had been shy and always a bit scared of what would happen next, but not concerned about the process as a whole. Now he was worried. Certainly Murtagh was not allowed to discover it. He had to stay cool. He might be the most inexperienced person in a hundred-mile radius, but he did not want to show how much all this affected him.

Now that he had decided on this, he needed his body to go along with it as well. It did not.

"Hey, Uuuuhhhragon," a yawning, sleepy voice greeted.

Eragon froze. "Hey."

"Slep' well?" Murtagh shifted slightly.

"Uh, yes, sure." Eragon swallowed hard. If Murtagh moved so much as an inch further, he would find out.

And Murtagh moved. He stretched lazily, kicking his legs around in the process.

In an instant, Eragon had unwrapped himself from the embrace and was on the other side of the bed, the front of his body turned away from Murtagh. He knew his face was burning, and his pants were clearly giving him away. He had to leave this room now.

"Eragon?" Murtagh was fully awake now, mystification in his voice. "What's going on? … Come back. Eragon?"

Eragon ignored him. He jumped out of bed and headed for the door, not bothering for more clothing, not once exposing anything but his backside to Murtagh. He rushed down the stairs until he was outside of the house, panting. Had he been able to see Murtagh in that moment, sitting upright in the bed, face troubled, upset, and very sad, he might have reacted differently.

Saphira? Where was his dragon?

/Eragon. Isn't it a beautiful morning?/ Saphira sounded exhilarated.

It's cold. Where are you? I need to talk to you. Eragon scanned the sky but saw nothing.

/Down at the river… do you think you could come here?/

Sure, I'll be right there. Eragon left the estate, cursing under his breath that he had not at least grabbed his boots. His feet were freezing. And he would have needed a coat, too. The cold morning air was penetrating his shirt, making his skin prickle. However, when he neared the river and caught the first glimpse of his dragon, he forgot his troubles for a moment.

Saphira was in the water - which was only waist-high for her - had spread her wings and splashed around. She grunted in delight, sending bigger and smaller water drops in all directions.

/Sometimes I wish I was a fish… then I could play around in the water all day and night. Care to join me?/ Saphira marched upstream, wings spread, almost turning the flow direction around.

Eragon smiled. No thanks, I don't feel so fishy today. And it's too cold anyway.

Saphira turned towards him for the first time. /But you're already shivering! Why are you running around half naked? Summer is gone./ She left the water and came close.

I'm not half naked, I just didn't think about the season too much when I left the house. Automatically he approached his dragon's belly, knowing that once Saphira was dry it would be warm there.

/You don't have to think about the season to put on some shoes. It's not like you've got dragon paws at the end of your legs./ She sensed that something had gone awry again.

Where's Thorn?

/He's… right there./

Eragon watched the red dragon approach high in the air and then spiral down to the courtyard. Then he glanced up at Saphira, who stared in the other dragon's direction intently, looking thoughtful.

/Eragon, don't beat around the bush, what has happened?/ It was more an order to talk then a question.

Eragon felt his cheeks redden again. Uhm, you know how it was really cold last night with the wind-

/Eragon!/

I… err… don't have to wonder anymore what it would be like to kiss someone… He was glad that Saphira could not see him.

/Oh./ The dragon digested that for a moment. /Little one, you know what that means? You have… fledged… to some extend… I think./

Saphira! I'm a human. I don't fledge! And it's totally beside the point.

/I'm sorry, I'm just a bit proud./

Eragon hit his fist into his dragon's stomach. I don't want to hear that. So, the problem is that I kissed... Murtagh. Or rather, he kissed me last night and I kissed him back.

/Silly, I could have figured out who it was on my own. But don't try to tell me that that's the problem. I'm not blind Eragon, and you've been very happy these past days./

Yeah… no… that's not the problem… This is so embarrassing, Saphira. I can't really talk about it. Eragon was frustrated. He wanted and needed Saphira's advice, but the words would simply not come out.

/Did you like it?/ Affectionate curiosity radiated off the blue dragon.

The kiss? Yes.

The passion in her Rider's answer amused Saphira. /A lot?/

Yes. Eragon shook his head and laughed a little, helplessly. Saphira was always so interested in everything happening between two humans.

/That's good. That's how it should be. But why aren't you with him now? Why did you leave the house?/

I didn't exactly leave it, I ran away. The second he said it he already knew it had been the wrong thing to do. Stupid.

/That explains why he's so depressed… Eragon, do you know what you've done?/ Saphira stepped back so that she was able to watch Eragon.

Murtagh's depressed? How do you know? So far Eragon had been too occupied with himself to think much about the older one.

/That's why Thorn came back; he felt the need to comfort his Rider. He's sent me a mental image of Murtagh./

Oh, I didn't want that… Eragon began to feel really bad.

/Eragon. I'm not an expert with these matters, but: Murtagh had wanted to kiss you for a while, I think. Now that he's finally found the courage to do it, you run away as soon as the night's magic is gone. It's rather understandable that he's hurt and worried, don't you think?/ Saphira's golden eyes seemed to see right through her Rider. /I can tell that you're sorry to make him miserable… why did you run?/

Eragon managed to hold his dragon's glance. Saphira, this morning… I had… my... manhood... was hard. Now he had to look down, deeply ashamed. When suddenly a loud dragon's laugh carried through the air he wished he was somewhere far, far away. Somwhere without female companions, where there were only males. Those would at least be able to sympathize.

It took a minute until Saphira had herself under control again. /Little one, what's wrong with that?/ She was still chuckling.

It's… first of all it's not funny! Eragon glared at his dragon. And then… what's Murtagh supposed to think of me?

/I'm not sure. Maybe that you've liked it? That perhaps you're turned on by what he did? There's nothing wrong with that, Eragon, because it's the truth./

But… doesn't it mean… that I want to have sex? Eragon was distressed. But the mere thought makes me sick and dizzy. I don't want to have sex, it's horrible and… painful and degrading… I don't even want to think about it!

/Not yet…/ It was only a murmur in Eragon's head before a period of silence. /Little one!/ Saphira's voice was decided again. /After what's happened in the last two weeks... Was his conduct not exemplary? Do you truly think Murtagh would take advantage of you in that way?/

No, Eragon replied sheepishly.

/Do you like him?/

The Rider hesitated a moment. Yes.

Saphira closed the distance between them and nudged Eragon lightly against his shoulder. /Then you should tell him, the sooner the better./

Eragon's mouth fell open. Are you out of your mind?

/Certainly not, it's not only important for your future, it's also important for Murtagh. He's scared that he's hurt you. And you've hurt him./

Saphira! Eragon was shocked. I can't talk to him about my feelings. How am I supposed to-? It's impossible.

/I leave that to you, little one./

I. Cannot. Do that. Eragon clenched his fists.

/Are you sure? Right now, Thorn is threatening Murtagh with biting off a leg if he refuses to talk to you either. Do you want me to come up with something similar?/

Eragon could not believe his ears. Have you been in contact with Thorn the entire time?

/Naturally. We had to find a way to deal with our Riders' little problems. And we've just decided on a course of action. You're going to take a walk!/

Am I? Eragon sounded more than sceptical.

/Yes, you are. Murtagh's getting your boots and something to keep you warm and you'll meet him at the gate. And we don't want to see you back for at least two hours./ Saphira was resolute and rather pleased with herself.

Saphira… I… You better brace yourself for when I return! Eragon stomped off towards the estate's gate.