Author Note: Thank you so much as always to McGee42, JointGifts, and Jasper'sDestiny and also to all of you for your patience while I spent a week in the country. I was overwhelmed by the positive response to the previous chapter which yielded over 400 reviews. I clearly remember fist pumping when my first chapter got twenty reviews. I love hearing what you think and how a chapter made you feel. Thank you. I also apologize to those reviewers who did not receive a teaser for this chapter. FanFiction hasn't been allowing review replies, and if you have your private messaging disabled on the site, there is no way for me to contact you.

Previously:

Alice grabbed his arm and pushed him behind her. "No, Edward," she said firmly. "This is the way it is supposed to be."

Not understanding what she must have meant, but tuning out Edward's quiet snarls, I finally allowed myself to look at Jasper's face. His hands were now around my waist, and he was looking at me as if he had never seen me before.

He looked absolutely stunned, and as our eyes met, he gasped.

"Leaves of grass."

Chapter 21:

It was real, not a dream. I didn't make it up; I didn't make him up.

"You remember," I whispered in amazement, looking into Jasper's eyes. I thought I was going to cry. I had never been as grateful for anything as I was in this moment.

"Yes," he sighed, tightening his grip on my waist slightly. He looked incredulous and as shaken as a vampire could appear. "It's remarkable. I've never been able to remember much about my human life at all—for so long I even avoided thinking about it. Now, it's as if a veil has suddenly lifted. My memories of you are as strong as any that I made as a vampire."

I thought my heart would literally burst from happiness. I hadn't lost Jasper; he was certainly different, but he was still mine. Now that I had seen him and heard that he remembered me—us—I needed to feel him. I needed his mouth on mine immediately. I tilted my face up to him and started to stand up on my toes in order to bring my lips closer to his. As he leaned down in kind, we heard a ferocious roar, and Edward lunged toward him.

Quicker than I could see what had happened, I found myself safely behind Jasper, who was crouched and growling at Edward. It was a rude awakening to just how much Jasper had changed since our time in the 1860s.

Hearing my startled gasp and most likely feeling my surprise and brief pang of sadness, he reached and gently squeezed my hip.

Alice was standing in front of Edward with her hands pushing his chest. "Stop," she warned.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked irately. "Jasper, I can read your thoughts, but they aren't making any sense." He looked back and forth between Alice and Jasper. "Have you lost your minds? Bella's only been asleep for a few hours. We could hear her up here. Not once did her breathing or heartbeat falter. There's no way she went anywhere."

Edward started pacing and pulling at his hair. "Alice? Bella? Have you all gone crazy? I, for one, am not crazy. I know what I heard."

"I don't know how it happened or what it even was. I wish there was an easy way to explain it to you. It does seem impossible," Alice said. "I'm just going to have to show you."

"The past?" Edward asked, confused.

"No, the future," she said, looking pointedly at Edward before her eyes unfocused. "Bella was always meant to be one of us, just like I told you. However, until we were in Italy, I had never seen who turns her."

"When did you see it?" Edward asked skeptically.

"When she was running across the piazza. I saw her save you, but then I saw the rest of her future as well." She stared blankly at the wall, again allowing Edward to see a vision.

"No. Never," he unexpectedly spat at Jasper.

I knew there were bits of the conversation I was missing between Alice and Edward.

"What did you show him?" Jasper asked her.

"I let him see my vision of you and Bella together—in the future." She paused. "You'll turn her."

Jasper turned slightly, and I saw his brow crease in response. I wasn't sure if he was worried about changing me period or the particular circumstances.

"Lovingly," Alice assured him.

I reached forward to grasp his hand, trying to send him all of the love I had for him.

Edward continued to growl softly.

"Edward," Alice said sadly. "You never would have done it; you know that. It was never your place to, either. You know she isn't your mate. If she were, there's no way you could even consider not turning her. There's no way you would be willing to give up an eternity of happiness."

"I. Love. Her. I've only ever tried to protect her. Nothing you've said has explained the memories I saw in Jasper's head," he said, shaking his head profusely and throwing his hands up. "This isn't happening. This is isn't real. Whatever they were, Jasper's thoughts weren't real. You're all delusional," he accused.

"It is real, and it happened, Edward. I don't know how, and I don't know why. In a world where we exist—where vampires, werewolves, and shape-shifters exist—why couldn't time travel?" Alice insisted sympathetically.

"It happened; I saw that it would as soon as Bella came into the house after returning from Italy. They were just brief glimpses of her with Jasper, but a human Jasper. When we were in the piazza, I wasn't sure why I would see Jasper turning Bella, but this explains everything. Fate had plans for the two of them that none of us could have prevented."

"No!" he shouted. "I cannot accept this, and I won't." He turned toward Jasper and snarled, looking every bit like a vampire.

"So help me, Edward, if you growl one more time toward my wi—" Jasper started, but Edward staggered backwards as if Jasper shoved him. The look on his face was as if he were burning, and it broke my heart. Even though I wasn't in love with him anymore, it pained me to see him hurting so badly.

"You . . . you married him?" he asked me softly, pleadingly.

"I obviously didn't plan this, Edward," I said, unsure of how to explain what had happened, not sure if an explanation even existed. "I'm so sorry you're upset. I know this must hurt you and must seem so unexpected."

"But we—" he started.

"We haven't been since my birthday." I didn't know what to say to him. "I love him," I said honestly, again squeezing Jasper's hand.

"Let him feel it," Alice quietly commanded Jasper. "It's the only way he'll start to believe."

Edward drew in a sharp breath, pressing his hand to his chest.

"Whose feelings are those?" he somberly asked Jasper.

"They belong to both of us; we feel exactly the same." Jasper returned the slight pressure to my hand and rubbed his thumb against mine. While his coolness was slightly jarring, I had to try to focus and not become lost in the pleasure of his touch.

"I can't. I just can't. I can't be here right now," Edward said, dejected and shaking his head.

As he fled the room, Alice turned to us. "We'll be gone for a while," she said before following Edward.

We were finally alone, and Jasper took his time in turning to face me. He grabbed my face in his hands, and again, I started to lean up to kiss him. It had been too long.

Not here," he whispered, and before I could blink, we were standing in his room. In the past, the room had been filled with touches of Alice, mainly from shopping bags piled throughout the room or outfits displayed on the bed. As I glanced around, all hints of her were missing from the space. Observing the dark color palette, framed antique maps, and leather furniture, all I could see was Jasper, my Jasper.

His hands were again grazing my cheeks. "I don't know how to touch you, how to hold you in this body." He glanced down at his chest.

"You'll figure it out," I said, impatient to have his mouth finally on mine.

"I remember everything," he said, his thumbs stroking the sides of my face, leaving cool trails in their wake.

"I've never felt emotions like this—so strong—the way I feel for you, how you feel for me."

Mercifully, he finally lowered his lips to mine and kissed me, at first hesitantly and restrained. As the kiss deepened, I found myself lying on the bed with Jasper hovering above me.

"I'm worried I'll . . ." he started to admit while pulling back.

Then, I felt an assortment of emotions—fear, unworthiness, guilt—that made no sense because of how happy I was.

Jasper must have felt my confusion because he apologized. "I'm sorry; I was projecting."

"Why would you feel that way?" I asked as he rolled over and lay on his back next to me on the bed. I couldn't understand why Jasper wasn't as happy as I was at our reunion.

"I'm just so unworthy of you, of your love. I'm ashamed of how I led my life once I became . . . this. That I didn't remember you." He looked tortured. "How could I forget you? You were my everything. What kind of man could forget you?"

My eyes filled with tears. "Doesn't that happen sometimes? Alice doesn't remember being human at all. It might sound odd, but I'm glad you didn't remember me. The idea of you somehow searching for me—when I didn't even exist yet—breaks my heart."

"Do you even know what I've done?" He couldn't even look me in the eye, and my stomach dropped.

"Alice told me your story before. None of it matters. I love you." I so desperately needed him to believe me, to be happy that, amazingly, we were together.

"For me, yesterday was the day after we pledged ourselves in the north pasture. We were going to build a life together there, and I wanted that so badly. You were going to build our home, and I was going be able to watch the animals at the stream while I was in the kitchen. Remember?"

He nodded but remained quiet so I could continue. I sat up, cross-legged on the bed, and he quickly mirrored my position.

"I woke up, and I was so blissfully happy because it was the first day our life together, but you weren't there. I thought you were downstairs making breakfast again. My first thought was—" My voice caught in my throat. "—Was to scold you, because you didn't need to do that for me, but then I found your note."

"I shouldn't have—" he started, but I shushed him. It wasn't that I didn't care what he had to say, but I needed to get it all out before I broke down.

"I read it, and I remembered what Alice said about how you were changed. The whole time I was there, I thought I was living in some reality where you didn't become a vampire. It never once occurred to me that I was in one where you weren't a vampire yet."

I threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Again, I needed to run my fingers over his face and through his hair to convince myself he was real and safe.

I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. "I was so scared. I was absolutely terrified."

I sat back, but I took a hold of his hands as he stared at me intently. "I ran to your parents' house, grabbed Sidda, and rode to Houston. Thank God, I found two of your men to escort me to Galveston. I had to stop you or stop Maria. I had to do something."

"Bella!" Jasper looked aghast. "There's no end to the deplorable things that could have happened to you. There was war going on . . . and Maria—I don't even want to think about it."

He quickly went from looking angry to concerned. He ran one of his thumbs over my cheekbones. "Sweetheart, you were so foolish," he said so quietly I barely heard him.

"I had to go. You would have done the same for me, Jasper Whitlock."

"It's not the same—"

"It is the same." I felt like we were both tripping over our words, but there was so much to say. I needed him to understand. "It's exactly the same." My eyes started to sting when I thought of how I felt when I couldn't find him.

"When we were outside of Galveston and you weren't there . . ."

My heart twisted at the recollection. Jasper suddenly gasped, his face in a tortured grimace. He let out a slow breath and then nodded for me to continue while squeezing my hand.

"My whole world ended." I inexplicably laughed. "It truly did end. The world we lived in together was gone, I woke up here, and I was . . . devastated. I had no idea what happened, and I didn't know if it was all a dream or if you would even be here."

We were sitting on the bed holding hands, but that suddenly seemed too far apart. I climbed onto his lap, and he hugged me to him.

"Then I saw you, and I knew you were here. You had made it to 2006. I'm so happy you're here, but I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I didn't get there in time. I tried. I tried so hard." I started to choke. "Jasper, you couldn't help what happened to you with Maria or what she turned you into, but if I—"

"Bella, this is in no way your fault. Even knowing what was going to happen, there's nothing you could have done. You certainly couldn't have challenged Maria. When I think of what could have happened to you, I'm glad you were too late. What I became, who I was, the fact that I was a monster—none of that is your fault."

"I know you aren't that person anymore. You aren't a monster. And it doesn't matter what you are or what you've done, I love you."

"Then after I left Maria? I didn't wait for you." Jasper looked toward the door, and he looked so sad and empty. I could tell he was thinking about Alice, and it broke my heart.

"Alice?" He nodded in response. "I'll be honest, when we first met in 1862, and I began to have feelings for you, I was so hung up on the idea of you and Alice. Even though she told me you weren't really mates, for too long I couldn't get the idea that you somehow belonged to her out of my head. The truth is that you were meant for her."

He started to refute me, but I stopped him. "Listen to me. I've thought a lot about this—too much about this. You were meant to come to the Cullens together. You may not be mates, but you are best friends, and I'm so grateful for that. When I think of what Alice did for you, how she was there for you . . . I'm just so happy you weren't alone. I love you, and I love Alice for loving you. She was meant for you; she was meant to bring you back to me."

He smiled as if pacified by my explanation and shifted until we were again lying side by side on the bed. I reached over and touched his face, amazed at its smooth, marble texture and cool temperature. After all that had happened, I felt emotionally spent, and I just wanted to reconnect with him.

He closed his eyes as my hand traveled over his chin and down his neck, but as soon as I went to unbutton one of his buttons, he stopped my hand.

"I'm having a strange feeling of déjà vu," I said, chuckling, remembering our first moment of passion in Millie's entryway when he wouldn't let me undo his shirt.

"I don't have the body you remember," he said.

"I know that, and it doesn't matter to me what you feel like, just that I'm feeling you. I'm also probably a lot more breakable and squishier than you remember," I joked.

"It isn't just how hard and cold my skin is. My outside appearance matches how depraved and despicable my insides were during my time with Maria."

He hadn't looked away from me, and I took that as a good sign. I moved closer to him and told him that I would always love him, regardless of his scars.

"You don't have to show me right now. We don't have to do anything more than lie here and talk; I'm just so happy to be with you."

"I love you," he told me, kissing me softly on the lips. I knew he could hear my heartbeat pick up and feel my longing for more, but he didn't deepen the kiss this time. Instead, he pulled away, again looking serious. I didn't know how much more emotional turmoil I could take.

"I know you've been through a lot, and I'm sorry, but I need to say this. You have to know that I would never purposefully hurt you. Maybe, somehow, I've always known who you were to me. At your birthday party, I did lunge for you, but I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect you from Edward. I could feel his bloodlust spike, and his control was rapidly weakening. I couldn't let him hurt you."

"Alice told me," I said, running my hand up and down his arm as he drew cold circles on my back. "I think it was your innate need to protect your mate, even if you didn't realize that's who I was at the time."

"My mate." He grinned, showing me that his dimples had survived his transformation. "I like the sound of that. My mate, my wi—"

He stopped himself from saying what I knew was "my wife." I couldn't think of why he wouldn't say it, especially after he had said he felt the same way about me as I felt about him. I tried not to focus on the hurt this worry caused, in the hope that Jasper wouldn't notice it.

"For me, we were together the day before yesterday; for you, it's been over a hundred years. You've lived so much since then."

"Maybe, but I—" A pained look briefly crossed his face again.

I couldn't stand to see him that way, so I tried to keep things light, at least for now.

I snuggled into his chest, content simply to lie with him. After thinking I had lost him forever, I was content just to hear his voice, and there were still so many things to say. "Please, tell me some of your happier memories. I can't imagine what it must be like to have seen so much."

"Maybe someday you will." He smiled. "You've had quite the adventure yourself, though."

"Tomorrow will be for me; tonight is for you. Having lived through so much, what was the most amazing thing?"

He sighed as I snuggled further into his arms. "I couldn't say it was just once instance—one event in history or one innovation. The amount of information available and its accessibility is remarkable. It seems like anyone can learn anything today." He shifted to look at me.

"When you gave me a copy of Leaves of Grass, I couldn't believe you were giving me something as precious as a book. I know it wasn't easy to find at the time, and not just because of the content, but because books were scarce. Now, anyone could find it at the library. Books are nearly everywhere. Hell, one can find the entire Whitman collection on the Internet."

"I had never thought of that," I replied.

As Jasper humored me with memories of his times with Peter and Charlotte and some of the early years with the Cullens—making sure to omit too many references to Edward or details of his relationship with Alice—I began to worry more about why he wouldn't call me his wife earlier. Maybe Jasper had seen and done too much in our time apart. I was just the same simple girl who fell in love with him.

My eyes started to close as he softly said, "Thank you for trying to save me."

"I'll always try to save you," I whispered.

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Author Note: I always love hearing your thoughts and guesses for the future. I always reply (when FFn allows it) to reviews with a teaser for the next chapter. You can also find additional teasers on the "Leaves of Grass" forum thread; the link is in my profile.

You should also check out the entries for the Strictly Charlie Contest as well as vote for your favorites. My dear beta McGee42 is one of the judges, and yours truly has entered a submission dedicated to our favorite chief. You can run a Google search for Strictly Charlie or search in FFn for Strictly Charlie as the author.