Shout outs at the bottom now since we are getting to around twenty reviews each chapter :D LET'S AIM FOR 1000 AND EVEN IF WE DON'T MAKE IT, WE'LL DIE DYING AND DRINKING TEA!
Reviewer/s Quotes
'Lots and lots of Squalo/Lussuria! That's my OTP, haha' –LeoInuyuka
'Don't worry miss, my tablet turns Hibari into hilarious. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.' –Muah hahaha (Guest user)
Chapter 21 (Old enough to be alcohol in England!): One question: The hell is that chick?
"Oh my goodness, this is so exciting! I feel just like a spy!"
"VOOOOOOIII! Give me back the fucking binoculars you gay bastard!"
"SQU-CHAN! DON'T BE SO RUDE TO YOUR WIFE AND GIVE ME THE BONOCULARS!"
"Ushi shi shi~ Do as the peasant says. The prince had to buy them for her after all."
"Are you implying I am POOR?"
"…You have money?"
"NOPE~!"
"THAT MEANS YOU ARE FUCKING POOR THEN! AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE BINOCULARS!"
Mammon watched as Squalo, Elizabeth, Bel and Lussuria all fought over the binoculars, Xanxus sat in his expensive chair, eyes fixated on some unknown thing in the distance he could see from the top of the building they were situated on. How did they get the chair there? Gola Moska carried it like the slave Xanxus treated him as. THEY HAVE RIGHTS AS A WORKER DAMN IT! RIGHTS AND PAY! But did Gola Moska get any money? No, Xanxus just spent it on booze that would be wasted by throwing it at Squalo. The robot was going to go on a strike next month if this continued!
"Muu, what does it matter anyway whether you can see or not?" the arcobaleno wondered out loud. "It's only Levi."
The four fighting Varia members all paused, Elizabeth stroking her chin. "That is true but you never know when Levi will die! AND I MUST BE ABLE TO WITNESS SUCH A THING!"
"Ushi shi shi~! The peasant makes a good point," Bel agreed.
"VOOOOIIII! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SEEING LEVI DIE OR NOT!" Squalo roared making Elizabeth gasp.
"H-how could you NOT care about that?! IT WOULD BE THE BEST THING THAT HAD EVER HAPPENED IN HUMAN HISTORY! Apart from the invention of tea."
The longhaired man glowered at her. "Those fucking brats that block the way to our shitty boss becoming Vongola Decimo are there! WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE ABOUT LEVI DYING INSTEAD OF CARING ABOUT SCOUTING OUT OUR OPPONENTS' STRENGTH?"
"Squ-chan, shush!" Lussuria hushed him, somehow now holding the binoculars in his hands. "Levi is finally about to do something useful and I want to see it happen before his imminent demise!"
"VOOOIII! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE ABOUT HIS DEATH SO MUCH TOO?"
"Why don't YOU?" the tea-loving girl of the group then gasped. "No…Squ-chan…you don't…"
"I don't know what the fuck you are on about so shut up before I do."
"The reason why you have been rejecting Luss-nee for so long is not because of your love for the ninth!"
Bel, who had now caught on to what she was saying, began to laugh insanely, Lussuria cupping a hand over his mouth. "No…it can't be…!"
"VOII! What the hell are you on about?!"
"YOU ARE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH LEVI!" Elizabeth shrieked before turning to Bel and falling to her knees dramatically. "SHIELD ME FROM THE HORRORS!" she cried, attaching herself to his leg.
"SHIELD ME TOO!" Lussuria attached himself to his other leg, tears comically falling down his face.
Mammon folded his arms. "Commander, that is truly disgusting."
Xanxus's eyes narrowed and he glared at Squalo. "Get the fuck out of my sight trash."
Gola Moska puffed out smoke in what seemed to be agreement.
"I AM NOT FUCKING IN LOVE WITH THAT…THAT…IMBECILE!" Squalo howled, face twisted into a horrified expression. Bel, who had kicked Lussuria off his left leg but left Elizabeth alone much to her delight (what was still there after seeing such horrors of course) as she continued to use his as a shield from the other man, grinned.
"Nice word commander~!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Elizabeth was now holding the binoculars for whatever reason and, managing to still hold onto Bel's leg as she did so, peered through the tea shaped lenses. Why else do you think she made Bel by them despite their high price? After all, Elizabeth was no cheap girl. She was Varia quality, no TEA QUALITY! "Wow, Levi really does look gay no matter how badass the job he is given…" she then turned to Squalo and shook her head. "To think you fell for him…"
"VOOOOIIII! I DIDN'T FUCKING FALL FOR HIM!"
"You say that but we know all know the truth…"
"VOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!"
Lussuria sniffed dramatically. "To think I prepared myself for you tonight! LOOK!" he ripped off his Varia coat to reveal a sparkly blue bikini. Elizabeth slapped a hand over Mammon's eyes even though his hood was already covering them. "IT'S IN YOUR FAVORITE COLOUR TOO!"
"Oi," Mammon twitched. "I'm not a baby and you have to pay to touch me so get off."
"YOU AREN'T A BABY?"
"…I'm an arcobaleno."
"YOU ARE A RAINBOW?"
"…Just get off me."
"'Kay…"
Squalo, averting his eyes, shook with anger. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO INTO COMBAT?!" he roared, pointing in Lussuria's general direction.
"To celebrate later! BUT NOW I SEE YOU DON'T WANT ME IN A BIKINI! YOU WANT LEVI!"
All the Varia members-apart from Xanxus and Gola Moska-visibly paled. "I can honestly say I don't," Squalo managed to choke out, Elizabeth crying into Bel's leg once more as the blonde laughed in an attempt to rid himself of the mental image. Mammon on the other hand was calculating how much money he would need to even try and rid himself of such a disturbing vision.
The sad truth was he would never have enough. Never.
Lussuria then fell to his knees, hands covering his face as he sobbed. "You've broken my heart again Squ-chan…you monster…I hate you…" he sniffed. Something soft then touched his head and he looked up to see Squalo without a Varia coat, it now on his head.
"VOI! Cover up already!" he ordered, eyes still averted. Of course, he had only done this as so to save himself from such a disturbing image, Lussuria definitely not interpreting this action in another way though…
"Squ-chan, you are jealous of the fact everyone else can see something only you should see?!"
"VOOOIIII! WHO ARE YOU CALLING JEALOUS?!"
"Happy endings," Elizabeth wiped away a tear, now standing up beside Bel and watching as Lussuria chased the so-called 'tsundere' Squalo with a spring in his step, the Varia coat covering his…seductive outfit. "And with Levi not here, it's even happier!"
"Ushi shi shi~ the peasant talks some sense!" Bel grinned as Lussuria finally stopped chasing Squalo, the latter now wearing a Varia coat again making Elizabeth gasp.
"HEY! I WANT A VARIA COAT TOO!"
Squalo scowled. "You aren't a member of the fucking Varia you idiot!"
"YES I AM!"
"…What?"
"I MEAN…NO I'M NOT…DAMN IT…" she sipped some tea before having it magically disappear and her pump a fist in the air. "IN CONCLUSION, YOU SHOULD GIVE ME A VARIA COAT!"
"IN CONCLUSION OF WHAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT?"
"Ushi shi shi~ The prince thinks that the peasant should get one," the blonde made his voice known. "And that she should join the Varia and be my underling~!"
The brunette looked at him in honest surprise. "You think so?"
"You have made the prince pay for several things for you. You WILL pay the prince back through paperwork."
"…What about credit?"
"No."
"Debit?"
"No."
"Cheque?"
"No."
"…Tea?" she looked hopeful at that one. "JUST PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THE PAPERWORK!"
"The prince bought you tea," he reminded her.
"Oh yeah…YOU MAY DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE!"
"Ushi shi shi~!"
"VOOOIII! DON'T JUST DECIDE THINGS ON YOUR OWN!" Squalo roared. "OUR SHITTY BOSS HAS TO APPROVE OF HER FIRST ANYWAY!"
"NEVER FEAR," Elizabeth grinned, taking out a piece of paper. "I came prepared."
Mammon looked skeptically at her. "With a CV."
"YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN AN ASSASSINATION GROUP!" skipping towards Xanxus, she showed the CV proudly to him. "I have a degree in tea psychology!" she informed him smugly. "If your tea is a happy tea or your tea is a sad tea, I WILL KNOW IT!"
Squalo snatched the piece of paper off her and scanned through it. "'I know how to kill a man using cardboard, some glue and a paperclip'. The fuck is this shit?"
"And remember kids, when making explosives, always have a responsible adult nearby," Elizabeth spoke seriously. "Shame there aren't any around here…"
The longhaired man glared at her. "I AM a responsible adult," he hissed.
"An adult woman maybe. But not a responsible one."
"VOOOOOIIIIIII!"
Lussuria peered into the distance. "Levi really is taking his time isn't he?"
"Hopefully he's died," Bel grinned at the thought.
"Hopefully not, he's being paid to take on this mission after all," Mammon huffed.
"So, am I getting hired or what?" Elizabeth asked excitedly, Squalo scowling.
"NO."
Xanxus rested his cheek on his hand. "Give her a fucking Varia coat trash."
Everyone stared at him. "What?"
"Uh, HELL YEAH!" Elizabeth pumped her fists into the air. "I bet you it's the tea psychology that cinched it!"
"VOOOIII! You can't let her into the Varia!" Squalo shouted. "She's a fucking idiot! And we still don't know who the fuck she is and how she got such dangerous information!"
The girl in question pouted. "I told you, the tea god!"
"That's not a legitimate answer!"
"FUCK YES IT IS!"
Mammon walked over to his boss before hopping onto Gola Moska's outstretched hand. "Boss, this is a terrible idea," he told him in his squeaky voice. "She's an idiot. She won't be any help at all."
The black haired man's eyes turned on his, an angry glint visible in them. "Did I ask for your fucking opinion?"
The arcobaleno mumbled an apology as Elizabeth was given one of Bel's spare Varia coats. If she had blonde hair and covered her eyes with it, they would practically be twins except one of them would be older and a woman. And she didn't have blonde hair and covered her eyes with it so they weren't really twins at all. Just their clothing was the same.
And if they were like twins we would have incest to deal with…
"Trash," Xanxus breathed, Elizabeth turning to face him. "Will you obey all of my orders?"
Making a noise of recognition, she then smirked with confidence and knelt to him. "Of course."
"Starting from today then you are a member of the Varia," he then seemed bored by it all and went back to staring at that thing which no one could see in the distance.
Damn it, I want to know what it is!
Elizabeth stood up and skipped back to Bel who was looking very pleased. His paperwork would be done by him no longer! Not that he did it anyway. But, it's the thought that counts! Probably!
Also, you may be wondering how the Varia has so many coats at hand. Well, apparently, there is a rule that all Varia members must have at least two changes of clothing on hand at any moment being exactly the same as their other outfits. This was so that if they got injured in a battle before meeting their target they could change and HEY PRESTO, they looked unscathed! And that is the secret to looking invincible.
Also, blood can stain so it's handy to have a change of clothes on you just in case…
The Varia: PREPARED FOR ANYTHING.
Lussuria then gasped. "Levi's finally making a move!"
Squalo 'tched'. "VOOII! Don't just stand there then! Get fucking moving!"
"Yes darling~!"
"VOOOOOOIIIIIIII!"
Elizabeth hummed to herself as the group began to move. "Now, how to react to the future Vongola Decimo…?"
Later
The underlings of the Varia attempting to get Lambo despite their easy defeat had already terrified Tsuna, so much so he was ready to shit himself. So, when that Leviathan character appeared, suicide felt like the only answer. "…So, you are the ones who did that," the Varia member stated, his eyes running over them all before fixating themselves upon Lambo and narrowing. "My opponent who also wields the thunder ring is the kid with the perm."
Lambo let out a squeal of terror, Tsuna holding his breath as the man drew his parabolas.
"If you interrupt me…" he began, directing his words towards Gokudera, Yamamoto and Ryohei who had readied themselves to fight. "I'll eliminate you all."
Terrified, Tsuna clenched his fists only to have a shout erupt into the air. "Hold it Levi!" shadows of five figures suddenly appeared and they all landed on the ledge above them, a hideous monster like thing that seemed to be wearing a gas mask, a blonde boy wearing a tiara, a flamboyant man with sunglasses, an infant with covered eyes and…and…
A brown haired woman holding some tea?
"Don't hunt them all on your own~!" Lussuria cooed, Mammon gazing coolly at Reborn from underneath his hood.
"It looks like other wielders of the rings are gathered here too," he stated. And then a scream pierced through the air.
"VOOOOOOIIIIII!"
Tsuna had one thought: Oh shit.
"HOW DARE YOU TRICK ME YOU FUCKING TRASH!" Squalo roared, Tsuna squealing in terror. "Which one of you idiots wields the rain ring?!"
Yamamoto answered calmly. "Me."
"Oh…it's you," the man looked disappointed. "Three seconds. I'll cut you up in three seconds."
"One two three~!" Elizabeth counted before gasping. "He's still alive! DO SOMETHING SQU-CHAN!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH!"
Suddenly Squalo was pushed out of the way, a gruff voice demanding him to 'move'. Levi saw this and pushed Squalo out of the way as well. "Move."
"VOOOOIIII! DON'T TELL ME TO FUCKING MOVE YOU BASTARD!"
"YEAH!" Elizabeth nodded furiously. "When a woman wants to move, she'll move! You can't tell her to, only she can decide! WE WOMEN HAVE RIGHTS GOD DAMN IT!"
"I'M NOT A FUCKING WOMAN!" Squalo howled as Levi looked at Elizabeth and his eyes widened.
"You…you are wearing a Varia coat?" he uttered in complete horror, expecting the worst.
And he got it.
"I'm a member of the Varia now! SUCK ON THAT BITCH!" instead of moving to high five someone, she kicked Levi onto the ground, Bel laughing in amusement. Tsuna gawked at her.
"She's a member of the Varia but she doesn't care about that guy? And that guy is surprised she's part of the Varia? Who the hell is she?" he thought before beginning to shake, eyes now filled with fear as he saw one man. Reborn lowered his fedora.
"I never thought the day would come when I would see this man…Xanxus."
"Sawada Tsunayoshi…" Xanxus's hand began to burn a bright light, the Varia members all seeming to show some element of fear…
"HA, SHOW THEM THE POWER OF THE TEA-ISTS! SHOW THEM!"
…Except one.
"This is bad! Run!" Reborn abruptly shouted, Xanxus still staring at Tsuna and Tsuna alone.
ISENSEYAOI.
Ahem.
"DIE!"
And then a pickaxe flew straight towards Xanxus.
"WOAH! THE MINERS ARE FIGHTING BACK!" Elizabeth shouted before erupting into a fit of giggles for no reason other than she could because apparently fear did not affect her.
Apparently.
Iemitsu, after having made his presence known, stared long and hard at the brunette, deep in thought. He was aware of the names of those other Varia members before him but her?
No idea.
Not even the faintest clue.
Even as he talked with great authority to everyone surrounding him, he remained perplexed by her. Bel noticed his confusion and his eyes drifted over to his new subordinate's figure, Elizabeth currently in awe at how big the pockets of the jacket were and in search of what they called the bottom of them.
She was unsure of whether she would ever return.
If Iemitsu didn't even know who she was then there was no way they would all be able to figure out who she really was. Sure, they knew her name but despite the slight resemblance, the Elizabeth Julietançe they had seen the photo of was a sixteen year old, not in her twenties! So it was most likely a fake name just plucked out randomly by the woman, which made their search reach a dead end.
"She's…interesting," he thought with a grin. "A mystery that could even kill a prince's boredom~!"
"So," Iemitsu began the end basic translation of the letter the ninth had sent him. "Let us start the traditional Vongola Battle in order to satisfy everyone." Seeing his son's confusion, he closed his eyes. "In other words, those who wield the same ring shall fight in a one on one battle."
Silence enveloped everyone for a few moments as they all sized their opponents up with silent promises to win. And, of course, it was at that moment of complete silence Elizabeth finally reached the fabled bottom of the pocket, cut her hand on something sharp and screamed.
"SHIT, THAT FUCKING HURT!" then seeing everyone staring at her, she showed them the knife she had cut herself on. "Remember kids, always hold knives point down!" and, after doing that, she dropped the knife on Levi's foot. Causing the man to howl in pain.
"YOU BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!"
"See, only the best things happen when you hold a knife point down~!"
Everyone sweat dropped sweat dropped as Levi began to chase Elizabeth who laughed mockingly, Lussuria crying out for his 'children' to stop fighting, Bel laughing insanely, Squalo roaring at them to shut up, Mammon muttering something about money, Gola Moska waving a flag that said 'XANXUS FOR BOSS' and Xanxus just acting like he couldn't see or hear anything his subordinates were doing. Eventually Iemitsu cleared his throat.
"Xanxus…are you aware that your…subordinates are..."
His deadly gaze pierced through his. "Are what?"
Tsuna continued to gawk. "HE'S ACTING LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING!"
"If you have something to say Iemitsu, I suggest you do before the chance is gone," the Varia boss said in a dark tone.
"Well…they are…" the blonde man struggled to find words, even more so as Elizabeth began to try and kill Levi with his own parabola (coughUMBRELLAcough), Bel even more amused, Lussuria shrieking about how he was a bad parent, Mammon trying to count up to infinity in euros, Gola Moska now trying to resume it's task to kill Squalo and Squalo running for his dear life.
"They are what?"
"It's difficult to…word…"
Xanxus's gaze intensified. "Word it."
"T-that's the problem though…"
"You think they are weak don't you?"
Iemitsu crossed his arms. "I never said that Xanxus."
"They aren't weak."
"Like I said, I didn't…" cue staring at Elizabeth who was now claiming to be Mary Poppins and jumping about with the parabola, using Levi as trampoline, Bel almost rolling about in hysterics, Lussuria sobbing loudly, Squalo 'Voi'ing , Gola Moska still chasing him and Mammon only up to fifty euros.
"You do think they are weak," Xanxus stated, Iemitsu frowning.
"They aren't weak. They are...unusual."
"Meaning weak."
"No, not meaning weak…"
The Varia boss folded his arms. "They are stronger than those pieces of shit," he sneered, jerking his head in Tsuna's direction.
"Xanxus, I…"
Xanxus looked away with a 'tch', clearly not listening
"HE'S JUST LIKE A KID ARGUING WITH THEIR PARENT!" Tsuna thought in disbelief.
"OUTTA THE FUCKING WAY! MARY TEAPINS COMING THROUGH!"
"I-I must endure this for boss!"
"Ushi shi shi shi shi shi shi shi~!"
"AM I THAT BAD A PARENT? AM I?"
"Ninety eight euros, ninety nine euros, one hundred euros, one hundred and one euros…."
"Permission to use rockets to kill target: granted."
"VOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII!"
BOOM!
Tsuna's mouth dropped open. "THEY ARE EVEN MORE LIKE KIDS! NO, KIDS WITH DANGEROUS EXPLOSIVES AND WEAPONS!"
And so, when the Cervello finally arrived in order to announce that they would be the judges of these said ring battles, not only was Levi strung from a tree, Elizabeth singing 'I believe I can fly like the Tea God…', Bel rolling around the floor out of laughter, Lussuria on the verge of suicide, Squalo with a new afro from the explosion, Gola Moska still flying, Mammon no where near infinity and Xanxus still ignoring Iemitsu who was insisting that he wasn't calling the Varia weak, but everyone was so happy to see them they almost cried.
"FINALLY PEOPLE WHO CAN MAKE THIS MADNESS STOP!"
Oh ignorant people, didn't you know that no matter what you do, insanity will always be there with the Varia around?
Later
A man peering though his binoculars was silent even whilst writing, a grim expression of determination on his face. Staring long and hard at the person he could see asleep, he wrote down everything he could deduce about them: what nationality they were, any past injuries they had obtained ect. Suddenly, he heard his door creak open and he turned stiffly before relaxing. "Maddy."
The beautiful brown haired girl who couldn't have been more than thirteen smiled easily at him. "The food's ready."
Returning the smile albeit in a tired manner, he stood up, walked over to her and ruffled her hair. "Thanks. Sorry for being such a killjoy by only doing work this whole time."
She waved of his worries. "It's fine. Let's just eat already. I am STARVED!"
Laughing, he allowed himself to be pulled away by the girl, not forgetting to switch off the light and close the door, locking it behind him. In his profession after all, you could never be too careful.
From across his window around one hundred meter's away, Elizabeth opened her eyes, hopped out of bed and shut the curtains to her window before clambering back into her bed, her katana laid by her side.
Extra: Sleeping Beau-tea
Once upon a time (Elizabeth: So, can that mean- Squalo: NO. WE ARE NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROUTE EVER AGAIN. Elizabeth: Awwwwww…) there lived a king (Xanxus: They aren't fucking weaklings. Iemitsu: Of course they aren't…your highness…) and a queen (Squalo: WHY? JUST WHY? Elizabeth: Ah, but the real question is, why not? :D Squalo: …Just go an die.) who would've been the happiest people alive (Squalo: Yeah, happy NOT BEING MY TRUE GENDER! Xanxus: THEY AREN'T FUCKING WEAK! Iemitsu: I know you highness! They are just unusual!) if only they had children. (Xanxus: Children are fucking annoying pieces of shit. Squalo: Agreed. Lussuria: Don't deny it, let your maternal feelings out Squ-chan! Squalo: VOOOOOOIIIII!) They had consulted every doctor (Shamal: Yoohoo~! Squalo & Xanxus: …*slams door in his face*) in the land and dreamed each night of a child of their own, who would fill the palace with joy and love but still, the door to the palace nursery remained closed. (Fran: The Varia HQ has a nursery you know. Everyone: WHAT?)
One day, the Queen, so weary with despair (Squalo: I'm…not…a…fucking…woman…) sat on the riverbank and spoke to her reflection in the water. (Elizabeth: Oh noes, Squ-chan's gone mad! Fran: She always was Cute-sempai. Squalo: VOOOOIIII!) "VOOOOIII! If only we had a baby," she said miserably. "I would do nothing but gaze at the cradle and rejoice at my good fortune." (Elizabeth: BUT THEN YOU WOULD STARVE! D: Squalo: VOOOIII! DON'T BE A FUCKING IDIOT!) Suddenly, dragonflies (Natsu: …Gao? Fran: Wrong Natsu author-san. Me: Awwwww….) flashed around her head, leaves seeming to whisper to her and a humming that seemed to say to her: Go back to the palace and when the roses are in bloom, your baby will be born. (Squalo: What. The. Fuck.)
Doubtful of herself, she returned back to the palace, wondering whether those words were in fact true or just a figment of her imagination. That evening, the king looked at his wife with worry. "What is troubling you my dear? You are quite silent tonight." (Squalo: BECAUSE YOU THROW BOOZE AT ME IF I DO TALK! Xanxus: *throws wine* Shut up. Squalo: VOOOOOIIII!)
The queen wondered whether she should mention the humming in her head (Squalo: I can hear fucking voices inside my head saying I'm going to have a baby. Xanxus: …) and decided not to. (Squalo: Smartest thing someone's ever done in these shitty parodies!) "I was walking by the river for a long time today and am very tired," she said instead. "I think I will go to bed after dinner."
"I wish you a pleasant sleep," said the king. "And the sweetest of dreams." (Xanxus: …The fuck? Fran: Author-san must be on drugs… Me; The sweetest of dreeeeeaaaaammmmsssss~!)
Nine months later, just as the roses were blooming in their full splendor, the queen gave birth to a girl who they named Aurora. (Elizabeth: YO! Squalo: Why does she always have to be my child? Why? Lussuria: Silly Squ-chan, she IS your child, remember? Squalo: …) Her parents were filled with such joy (Xanxus: That piece of shit can die for all I care. Squalo: I'm going to end it all… Elizabeth: NO! SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER UNLESS YOU ARE LEVI AND YOU AREN'T SO STOOOOPPP!) they decided she should have the most magnificent christening party the world had ever seen! (Elizabeth: With tea everywhere! :D) Seven fairies were also invited and some days after the invitations were sent out, seven letters of acceptance returned (Enma: …Why are we fairies? Adelheid: This is ridiculous! Koyo: I will definitely hunt down this author in the end. Rauji: I don't get this either… Shitt. P: Gokudera isn't here…boring! Karou: Uh…yeah…Julie: Come on guys, relax a little! Elizabeth: YEAH! LISTEN TO THE SMART GUY! Enma: But we are…fairies. Elizabeth: WELL TSUNA WAS A MOUSE AND DID HE CARE? Actually, he did… Enma: …?), each fairy letting it be known how delighted she would be to attend such a grand celebration. (Enma, Rauji, Karou, Koyo & Julie: …She? Squalo: Welcome to my fucking world…)
"What luck!" cried the queen to her husband. "Seven fairies have accepted and we have exactly seven gold plates, seven matching sets of knives, forks and spoons and seven crystal goblets too!" (Squalo: …That's going to be a bad thing isn't it?)
However, the king and queen had both forgotten someone however. (Squalo: …Dare I ask? Me: :D) In a high tower built in a clearing in the dark and distant heart of the forest, there was one window in which a dim light was burning. (Elizabeth: BURN BABY BURN~! Fran: Cute-sempai, do you have some sort of urge to sing all of the time? Badly? Elizabeth: Tch, RUDE!) This was where the oldest fairy in the kingdom lived alone with her grey cat (Gokudera: I AM NOT A CAT. Fran: Catssaywhat. Gokudera: What? Uri: Nyah~! Squalo: VOOOIII! DON'T HAVE CHARACTERS APPEAR SO RANDOMLY!): Skura. (Levi: I WAS FORGOTTEN BY BOSS? Bel: Ushi shi shi~ perfectly plausible!)
"I am insulted," she told the cat. (Levi: It's that Squalo! He made sure boss wouldn't invite me! Gokudera: No, he just fucking forgot you.) "My bats (Raisel: Ushe she she~ *disappears* Elizabeth: CAPTAIN! Bel: What? Elizabeth: But…I…what… Bel: …?) and black-winged ravens (Hibari: … Me: Go on. Say it. SAY IT FOR YOUR FANS! Hibari: …I'll peck you to death.) have brought me news of a christening at the palace. All the other fairies besides me have been invited. But I shall go uninvited, you may be sure." She smiled (Levi: *smiles* Elizabeth: OH MY GAWD! MY EYES! SOMEBODY KILL ME!) and then stroked the cat (Gokudera: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!) that blinked it's bright green eyes.
The christening was beautiful with food everywhere (Elizabeth: AND TEA! Xanxus: And booze. Elizabeth: BUT MOSTLY TEA!), Skura feeling even more angry as she swept in with her wolves (Lupo: Woof! Elizabeth: LUPO! Lussuria: Awww, such a cute little doogie! Squalo: You blind idiots…) and black cloak. When the queen caught sight of her, she gasped. "It's you! (Squalo: The fuck do you want? Levi: You made sure I didn't get an invite! Squalo: …What?) How dreadfully careless of us to forget you! (Levi: DON'T PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME YOU BASTARD! Squalo: I'm not.) Please accept our sincere apologies and forgive us for our discourtesy." (Levi: NEVER.)
"Perhaps you thought I was dead," (Squalo: *muttering* Oh, we knew you were alive you un-killable bastard…) Skura began. "And it is true I have not travelled for a very long time. If I may have a golden plate and a golden knife and fork and drink a toast to the new princess from a crystal goblet, everything shall be forgiven." (Levi: Boss…just tell me you haven't forgotten me and I'll be okay!)
"Alas," the king began anxiously. "There are only seven of each item you have said and not even my wife and I can use such things." (Xanxus: …Who the fuck are you? Levi: BOOOOOSSSSS!O^O)
Skura set her mouth in a grim line. "It cannot be helped then but this insult will have consequences, I'm sorry to say," she spoke harshly, body stiff with rage. (Levi: I…I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A MISERY! *points at Squalo* Squalo: VOOII! YOU ALREADY AE BY JUST EXISTING! Fran: Ouch.)
The queen turned pale before addressing the crowd. "Let us continue the celebration, friends. This is a happy occasion after all." (Squalo: We can murder this bitch before she grows up to become this monstrosity. Elizabeth: Excuse me? Squalo: N-nothing…)
The fairy of the mist-wreathed mountains stepped closer to the cradle. "We were just about to give the princess our gifts. I say that she will be as beautiful as a wild, climbing rose." (Rauji: Uh…okay.)
"And I," said the fairy of the roaring rivers. "Say that her voice will be as lovely as a singing stream." (Shitt. P: Hmph, I don't particularly care anyway…)
"She will have the grace of a swan," added the fairy of the blue oceans. (Karou: …What?)
"She will be strong," said he fairy of the icy plains of the North. (Adelheid: Something logical for once.)
"And intelligent," said the fairy of the shifting sands of the desert. (Julie: Well, she'll have to be intelligent to get the good boys like me! Elizabeth: Captain, what is he on about? Bel: Who knows… *glares at Julie* Julie: ;) )
"And kind," said the fairy of the tropical jungles of the South. (Enma: But I'm earth- Me: I don't care. Enma: But- Me: No. Enma: =_= Me: :D)
Skura then pushed through the crowd and raised a hand to silence them all. (Levi: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!) "What I shall give little Aurora will not be quite what you wish for," she spat. "All your gifts will be of little use to her because my offering…is a life cut short." (Elizabeth: LE GASP!) The queen swooned, the king steadying her. (Elizabeth: SQU-CHAN! NOOOOOOOOO! Levi: MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fran: Everyone's characters are going to hell…) "She may enjoy her gifts for sixteen years but then she shall prick her finger on a spindle and fall down dead!" (Levi: NO! I CHANGE MY MIND! WHEN SHE IS SIXTEEN SHE SHALL DRINK SOME TEA AND IT SHALL KILL HER! Elizabeth: Y-you MONSTER!) Skura then left, a howl of wind accompanying her leave.
There was complete silence until the final fairy, the woodland fairy, stepped forwards. (Koyo: …Why me?) "Although I cannot undo all the magic cast by and older fairy I can ensure your child does not die. (Elizabeth: Phew, that is a relief! I mean, if tea was capable of KILLING someone… Squalo: It did. Elizabeth: What? Squalo: YOUR FUCKING SANITY.) Your Majesties, instead of dying, she shall fall into a sleep that will last a hundred years."
"A hundred years!" the queen burst into sobs. (Squalo: Why couldn't she DIE instead?!)
"She will wake," the fairy reassured her. (Koyo: Why do I have to have this role?) "And it is her destiny to be happy."
Thanking her, the once happy celebration ended, the king made a law in order to make sure his Aurora was safe: all spindles in the kingdom must be destroyed. (Xanxus: All tea must be burnt. Elizabeth: NOOOOOOOOOO!) Having done all he could do, the king then began his long wait.
Princess Aurora grew up to be just like the fairies had said she would: beautiful, intelligent and kind amongst other things and, on her sixteenth birthday, her parents threw a ball for her. (Squalo: We'll finally be rid of her…) In her silken dress embroidered with little roses that shone whenever the light caught them, Aurora danced with every nobleman in the kingdom (Fran: Ah. Fake prince-sempai is jealous. Bel: Shut. Up.) and accepted her many extravagant gifts. At the end of the party, she excused herself and began to walk around the palace gardens. It was then she spied a beautiful cat. (Gokudera: I'M NOT A CAT! I mean…nyah…) Deciding to follow them (Gokudera: I will bring you to tea nyah. Elizabeth: I WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER!) she ended up in a deserted guard tower. Reaching the top, she discovered a door and entered to find a servant woman before a spindle. (Levi: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU! Elizabeth: ? Levi: I mean…hello?)
Intrigued by the contraption she had never seen before (Elizabeth: Is that…a teapot?) she asked the servant woman whether she would teach her to use it, the woman agreeing instantly. (Elizabeth: CAN YOU LET ME MAKE TEA? Levi: Of course…) "You hold it like this child," she told Aurora, moving her hand towards the spindle. (Elizabeth: I know how to make fucking tea! NOW LET ME MAKE AND DRINK IT IN PEACE!)
"Oh, yes, I see now," Aurora had no sooner spoke these words when the spindle seemed to twist and twist, pricking the tip of her ring finger. (Elizabeth: *drinks tea she has made* Huh. This tastes strange…*falls unconscious* Levi: THE POWER OF THE DECAF! NOTHING SHALL STAND IN MY WAY! NOTHING!) She had no time to cry out and it took only the time a drop of blood took to drop onto her skirt for her to faint clean away. Skura, pleased with herself, made her way down the stairs. At the bottom it was a smoky-grey cat with green eyes that slipped away into the darkness. (Gokudera: …I'm this bastard? *points at Levi* Levi: OI!)
The king and queen realized she was gone quickly (Squalo: VOOOOIII! SHE'S GOT MY FUCKING SHAMPOO! Xanxus: She's got my fucking steak.) and, upon finding her, the latter burst into tears. (Squalo: WHY ISN'T SHE FUCKING DEAD?) Carrying her to her room, the laid Aurora down on her bed before the woodland fairy arrived. "It would be too cruel for her to sleep whilst the rest of you live on so you will sleep with Aurora as well." (Koyo: …That sounded so wrong.) And so the powerful fairy cast a spell on the entire palace, every servant, animal, noblewoman and nobleman falling into a deep, deep sleep. Pleased with her work, she then made all of the plants grow so the palace became hidden and safely left to itself.
A hundred years past and now the palace and it's princess became just a mere story (Elizabeth: ME? IN A STORY? Fran: Ludicrous isn't it Cute-sempai?), only dreamers and children believing in such a tale. And, despite not knowing it, on exactly one hundred years after Aurora had fallen into her deep slumber, Prince Florian went riding in the woods. (Bel: Ushi shi shi~ the prince has finally arrived!) The woodland fairy disguised herself as an old woman carrying sticks (Ninth: …I'm not a woman.) and revealed herself to Florian and his party of friends. "Good afternoon Madam," he called out to her cheerfully. (Ninth: ..I'm not a woman.) "Are the stories of this forest I have heard so much of indeed true?"
The woodland fairy adjusted the sticks on her back. "It depends on what you have been told."
"They say that there is a palace in the heart of this wood with a hideous monster guarding all those who dare to enter."
"That is partly true however there is no monster. Instead there is the greatest treasure in the world there: what you heart desires. Only someone brave enough can enter though." (Koyo: I hate this role… Ninth: This role is disagreeable... Me: Enemies bonding over stupid things :D)
"I am brave enough!" Florian cried excitedly. "How can I get there Madam?"
"Make your way to the heart of this forest. From there on, your heart will guide you."
"Thank you, I am eternally grateful. Here, take my cloak to keep you warm," he passed her the garment with great joy (Bel: Ushi shi shi~ The prince's heart desired no more paperwork~! Fran: Huh, I feel like this was discussed earlier and a solution was found…) before bidding farewell to his companions and making his way through the forest. He had to hack away at vines for hours on end until it grew dark, only then reaching the palace itself. Florian found himself entranced by the 'statues' he saw, so realistic they could have simply been people sleeping! (Fran: Ironic, just like how you keep making those comments about Cute-sempai… Bel: Hah? Fran: Don't worry, the readers know full well what I am talking about…) Eventually he came across a door and his heart beat faster. "I know this is it!" he thought to himself. "This is where my fate lies, where what my heart desires is!" (Bel: No more paperwork~!)
Creaking open the door, her stepped inside and up to what he discerned to be a bed. Lifting up on of the curtains, he felt his heart stop. There before him was (Bel: A get out of paperwork free card?) the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! (Bel: …That isn't a get out of free paperwork card.) For a moment he could not speak (Bel: ..This author is going to die. By my hand.) and stood there, simply gazing at her. His heart thundered in his ears and, leaning down with one hand cupping her face (Fran: …You molester. Bel: You shall die too.), he kissed her softly on the lips. At once her eyes opened (Elizabeth: CAPTAIN YOU MOLESTER! Bel: Shut up. Fran: Doesn't say he's going to kill you. Proof of his undying love. Bel: DIE YOU UN-CUTE KOHAI! Fran: See?) and she smiled at him.
"I've been dreaming about you, I think," she told him. (Bel: W-what? Elizabeth: I'm talking to the tea behind you. OH MY LOOOOOVVVEEEE! Bel: …)
"And I've been dreaming of you," Florian told her. "Even though I did not know it until this moment." (Bel: I'm talking to the coffee behind you. Fran: Nice try but…it was a fail. Bel: You have three seconds to run.)
Everyone in the palace at this moment awoke and were so filled with happiness that the princess was alright they felt that they would burst! The king and queen thanked both Florian and the woodland fairy (Squalo: FINALLY I CAN KILL HER! Bel: Ushi shi shi~ she's the prince's now. Elizabeth: Huh? What's going on? Fran: Cute-sempai, does the word oblivious mean anything to you?), the prince surprised that the fairy was the old woman he had given his cloak to. (Koyo & Ninth: We aren't women!) Soon, Aurora and Florian were married in blissful happiness (Bel: Ushi shi shi~ I will give you the most beautiful tea in the world. Elizabeth: I LOVE YOU! *kisses cheek* Bel: …*faints* Elizabeth: Huh? WhatdidIdo? Everyone: …*shakes heads*) whilst the fairy Skura felt her powers growing weaker and weaker (Levi: THE DECAF WORKS NO LONGER!) before she slipped out of her tower. A thin grey cat with green eyes then appeared and slinked into the darkness, never seen again… (Gokudera: Wait, WHAT?)
And they all lives happily ever after~! (Gokudera: I DIDN'T! I DIED! DISCOABC, YOU BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!)
IMPORTANT: I need you guys to send in questions for like everyone in the Varia or KHR or stuff with Elizabeth included since I might do another long fairy tale extra and need time for that so this will be the extra next week: Destroying Questions And Answers From The Inside! (I know, my naming is so imaginative :3)
Ugh, I'm so sorry for not updating but shit went down a couple of weeks back: my house got burgled so computers at my dad's house got stolen and even though they wouldn't work for the burglars anyway, it pissed me off since I couldn't update! Help me hunt them down and kill those bastards :C And then I went off camping with school so I couldn't update during that of course. Then sports day went down and although my form won (I have three medals now for each sports day in this school :D) I managed to hurt my leg so people got scared during the final relay when I was meant to run. Also the summer arts festival is coming up in my school so I've had to be doing stuff for that too. Bleh. Tired now *slams head into computer* Shout outs~!
Painxsmile: Yama-sama always amuses me especially when Squalo is involved :3 And yes, that sounded wrong on so many levels…not that it did not amuse me…XD
LeoInuyuka: Oh my god, you cracked me up in the middle of the night XD Squalo/Lussuria is cannon I SWEAR… 'You really love tea don't you?' …I feel offended *looks away dramatically* HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF ASKING SUCH A THING? HOW? Although I do like coffee…dear lawd, I HAVE FAILED THE TEA GOD *sobs* Okay, I'm done :D Thank you for letting me use the reviewer thingy and inadvertently making me discover a new author to stalk. I mean follow…I mean…DAMN IT FANFICTION, YOU AREN'T MAKING THIS SITUATION ANY BETTER. Elizabeth's gonna be like…psycho bitch ten in Tsuna's life when she starts messing around in this Varia arc. OH THE PLANS~! Psh, like Gokudera hasn't been scarred for life by Bianchi already…..you know the moment you get when you look at what you've just written and go 'da hell'? …Yeah. *sips tea* Join the ElizaBel team sista! *high fives* or the Belizabeth team. Or TeaCoffee team. I personally like the last :D Don't worry, I'm not ill anymore! Just injured! AND SOMEHOW THAT IS BETTER! When I first started saying DVFTI so I didn't have to say the whole thing I got confused with which letters came first. True story 8| IF I ever get married, Ryohei needs to be the priest. I will accept NO ONE else. Also, what could be more legit than Hibari playing the violin? XD
FreezinWinter: Food and drink are very important to me. And somehow, I am still not fat. But when I am I SHALL BE FAT 'N HAPPY! :D
Viper'sgirl: I get the feeling Elizabeth is necessary in order to make a favourite moment for you…XD I love Elizabeth and Bel moments too and would write complete fluff every five seconds but then where would SqualoxLussuria moments be D: Oh, I will have much fun writing the next chapter about the wedding, much fun indeed…
Mistress of Madness: NEVER FEAR, FRAN SHALL NEVER HAVE ELIZABETH. NEVER. Elizabeth: Biggest troll to Bel EVER. And I can't train under Hibari-sama? O^O NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *cry*
Balabalenceh: Aww, thank you! Hope you continue to like it!
Skyla15699: I love Tsuna. He's like an adorable Tuna Yoshi :3 That last extra has made me unable to watch the apprentice ONCE without shouting 'LORD XANXUS SUGAR'. Coolest name ever. Full stop. I agree, the Varia will never be able to escape insanity! NEVER! MUWHAHAHAHA (apparently neither shall I…AH WELL!)
Soul Vrazy: PLEASE DO :D
Namimori-Skylark-18: SqualoxLussuria is a cannon pairing I SWEAR. NUUUUU! YOU HAVE NOT FAILED ME! COME BACK! COME BAAACCCCCKKKK! The voice actors should actually make PPPP a real group. I of course having a part in the profit they make for suggesting it :D And yes, that is a perfectly legitimate reason. Well, at least it is too me. I dunno about the other English fangirls…THEYSCAREMESOMUCH *shot* OMYGOD, TEA RAIN! I'm singing in the tea rain~ Just singing in the tea rain~! I will love you forever now *huggles* You are still watching me? Now I'm scared to do anything…*looks around JUST incase…*
Realecielshieru: Awww, thank you!
The Ice Sorceress: Haha, that was fun to write :D PPPP FTW!
Cloudiedays27: That is officially one of my favourite name for ElizabethxBel along with TeaCoffee :D
Guest: I'm glad you love it! And Lussuria and Squalo is a cannon pairing. I'M TELLING THE TRUTH GOD DAMN IT!
Nobody-Knows76: Indeed my friend. Indeed B)
KayleeXD: Yes, Oc's are necessary. Like tea. And tea. AND TEA. I am and shall continue to live by the fact that everything is Levi's fault :D Fran is awesome, even more so since he IS a drink frog ninja who can jump into other anime dimensions! GO FROGGIE! I know, I know! I wish DVFTI AND VARIA DID stand for those things! And it can…in our hearts…LE GASP! THE CONSPIRACY! I ALMOST FORGOT! *joins in with eyeing your dad suspiciously…again…* Squalo and Lussuria's children should have silver Mohicans. Yep, that's completely legit. And I didn't think of that for last chapter…damn it! I HAVE FAILED YOU ALL! Oh, I can't wait for that scene to take place because when it does happen everyone will be like…what? Well, many things Bel does are actually disturbing but we all just push them aside cause…he's hawt…oh, I was labeled mentally disturbed even by random strangers a LONG time ago :D Yeah, Xanxus inspected that liquor…like a boss…we overwork Byakuran don't we? …Meh, he gets free Marshmallows so WHATEVER! Gokudera isn't an abusive coworker to EVERYONE though…he's a harassing one to Tsuna ;) I just have this image of thirty Hibari's in my head all wearing suits and playing in an orchestra with the same expression…even the one with the triangle…IMAGINATION FOR THE WIN! Both Elizabeth's can be there at once since this is what I think of the laws of physics *pours tea all over it* I think that covers everything. I know, poor Bel :( JUST WAIT FOR HER! WAIT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS AWESOME! AND TEA…EY….PPPP ROCK! See? Tea brings about good things! THE LOGIC! I DUN CARE IF IT TAKES YOU FOREVER TO DO FANART MY LOYAL READER! I SHALL WAIT! :D
Helloiminsane: GREEN! HER EYES ARE GREEN! *shot* Thank you for agreeing to do some fanart! I almost cried of happiness! \(^-^)/ Also, your penname. Me likes. :D
MeWubFranxx: *puts on shades with you* YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! Xanxus as a priest…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You my friend are a genius *wipes tear away* I need Fran's portable radio and just play it at random moments. Oh the lawls XD If Levi did that to me I wouldn't say/shout/SCREAM anything. I would just be like Xanxus and shoot him being the boss he is :D But the China plan is good too…Lord Xanxus Sugar: If you can't be the boss of a mafia you become the boss of the corporate world and fire people like HELL XD Okay, you go have your tea now :D
Pineapple Fairy King: When we she be a princess? Soon. No, like seriously, I actually have a plan for when she will. I know, me having a plan. BLASPHEMY! *shot* BUUUUT before that happens we need like in EVERY good romance, a love triangle :D Don't worry, that's figured out too. God, how have I managed to organize this stuff and then be unable to find an A3 piece of paper in my desk? Although, your decaf scene may be stolen…by me…fantasies can come true after all so why should I question yours? :D AWEOMESAUCE SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY LIKE HUGGLES. Ahem. LeoInuyuka-san is a genius. I die every time I remember she likes this fic…thank god for Byakuran to help us all! Readers: The best stalkers someone could ask for XD
YamamotoFan: Awww, thank you! I'm so glad you like this story and my OC :) The Tea God is awesome! And welcome to the club of budding tea-ists and fight to have huggles recognized as a word BECAUSE IT SO TOTALLY IS! NOOOOOO! DON'T DIE! BYAKURAN, HELP THEM! I'LL GIVE YOU MARSHMALLOWS! I'll try and keep up the good work as best as I can!
Muah hahaha: I'm not alone? THANK DA LAWD! I'm glad you like Elizabeth too! And I will probably never own a car my friend. Well, I hope we are friends. WE ARE AREN'T WE? O^O
Rebi-chan: Oh my god, I just got your review after I posted this for the first time so hopefully it'll be there before you read it! . HIGH FIVE ME VETRAN! And readers are the best stalkers anyone could ever wish for :3 My favourite pocket monster is a secret ;) the sky is blue because of the way the earth's atmosphere scatters light from the sun. The 314th digit of pi is 1! Discoabc: proud to be insane and answer insane questions :D