Chapter 21: Of Confessions and Dreams
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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of it's characters…T_T
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Kagome grinned happily as they walked through the cheery little mixed village. It was a youkai and human village, one of the only of its' kind. Of course that didn't mean that the breeds mixed together marriage-wise quite as freely as they mixed socially. Such things were still done with the utmost care and deliberation. But still, it made Kagome happy to see the two races getting along peacefully.
She, Rin and Shippo were browsing the stalls, exploring for any new finds. So far all they'd picked out were some wagashi sweets to share with the others. Kagome began looking through a tabi and getta stand's wares when the children began to grow impatient. She needed new footwear, since hers were wearing out, so she ignored the wide, bored eyes of the children for a moment.
"Kagomeeeeeeee!" Shippo groaned. "Can we please go see those toys?"
She craned her neck to glance at a stall further up the street. It wasn't too far. She spread out her aura for a moment, searching for threats. None.
She sighed as she bent down to their level.
"Now, if I let you go look at the toys, you won't be coming back begging for them, will you? We only have so much money for spending."
"Are we running low again?" Shippo asked timidly, Rin looking between them both, confused.
"Yeah, we haven't run into anybody who needs help, not even to get rid of demons or spirits."
"What do you mean, Kagome-chan? What are we low on?"
Kagome smiled at her endearingly, smoothing her hair from her eyes.
"Money, darling. None of us actually work for a living. Usually we provide our own food from the woods or streams so it isn't a problem. But once in a while we need supplies that we can't get from the woods. For that you need money."
The little girl's face scrunched up as she thought hard, her hands playing with the hem of her sleeve. Finally her expression cleared and she smiled widely.
"But surely Sesshomaru-sama has plenty of money! He can buy us our things!"
Kagome giggled a little at how anxious she was.
"I'm sure he could, dear, but it wouldn't be polite to ask him to buy us things. He may be our alpha but that doesn't mean he should spoil us. He provides when he knows he should. And that's enough." She leaned forward and kissed them both on the forehead.
"Now go on, and don't let me catch you begging Sesshomaru-sama for things either!" she called as they scampered off, giggling.
She stood and began browsing through the tabi again, looking for something plain and simple. Nothing extravagant. But as she was browsing she found a pair of the smoothest fabric, of the loveliest blue. She smiled to herself as she ran her hand over them. They would be so cool and light on her poor, tired feet. She shook her head, grabbing a pair of plain white ones and handing the peddler the money. As she was waiting for the change she noticed a flash of silver in her peripheral. She turned, already smiling.
"Sesshomaru-sama! Is your business finished?"
"Hn."
"So you've decided to join the rest of us in civilization?" she teased as she took her change and smiled at the nice woman. The plump usagi youkai before her was staring at her incredulously, glancing back and forth between her and Sesshomaru. She looked a little panicked, so Kagome smiled a little wider to hint to her that it was alright. She smiled hesitantly before scampering off to help another customer.
Calmness reigned as the two stood in companionable silence. Eventually Kagome just grinned before slowly walking forward, in a casual stroll. He followed.
"Where are the children?" he asked. Kagome's grin blossomed when she realized that he was making small talk. He would obviously know where the children were. How could he not?
"They are looking at toys and trinkets. Unnecessary little things." She grew closer to him conspiratorially. "Be careful, they are beginning to consider begging. Even perhaps from one as magnanimous as you."
A slight grin quirked the corner of his lips.
"Hn. Unnecessary trinkets," he murmured. "But despite being unnecessary they are still appreciated."
"Of course. Gifts from loved ones are always appreciated, even if they are not what's expected." She placed her purchase in the sleeve of her yukata with the rest of her change.
He nodded solemnly.
"The gift I received from my father certainly was not what I had expected," he confided, referring to his katana. "But I now appreciate it for what it is."
"I suppose that was very frustrating for you, being the eldest. Rightfully you should have been given the most powerful of the two."
He said nothing to this, merely continued forward at a casual pace.
"But now Inuyasha needs it, to stay sane anyways. Not that he deserves it," she grumbled.
"Hn. The hanyou has always had a way of under-appreciating what he is given. In the end he tends to lose everything."
She frowned a little at that. Somehow she felt there was something else to that statement.
"What do you mean?"
He seemed to be contemplating on how to begin.
"Inuyasha, since he was a child, has always been undeniably stubborn. In every moment that he was offered aid or compensation he has refused."
A light came on for Kagome at that statement.
"Wait, when did he ever refuse something from you?"
He sighed.
"After Inuyasha's mother died, I was sent to retrieve him. Even as a child he refused to come near me. But it wasn't out of fear. It was out of distrust and anger. He'd seen the way that other adults treated him, as well as other youkai and saw that in me as well."
"Wait, so you didn't dislike him from the beginning? The way he'd always talked about it made it seem like you hated him."
"He would see it that way. I was anxious about meeting my half brother, and angry with my father, causing me to be distant. Inuyasha saw this as hostility towards him. I was not biased enough to immediately dislike a child."
"Hn," she murmured in a very Sesshomaru-ish way. "I can see him being like that. He's always refused any kind of help with anything. Even the simple things."
"I was told upon returning to the shiro that his mother was also the type of creature to deny aid. But where in her it was for a sense of independence as a woman and a hime, in him it was simply a willful stubbornness."
"Wow," Kagome exclaimed, her mind racing. "This is so insightful! I never would have thought of it that way but now it makes perfect sense!" She laughed a little, earning a grin from the Inu.
"Inuyasha is indeed a very confused boy. He doesn't know what he wants and what is right because he wouldn't let anyone near to teach him. Those he let near, he harmed, in some way or another."
"He doesn't know how to love." She understood now. He was confused, and hurt by everything around him, and so he confused and hurt those around him in return because he didn't know any other way. She was beginning to pity him. It was almost reassuring for her, because that meant that he was just like a child lashing out. She began to feel like she could let it go, let it ALL go. Since it had all happened she'd felt a little piece of her, a corner in the back of her mind, still glowing with hurt and pain. Now it dimmed down to a healthy pink. She understood. She understood it all. And it was all thanks to a little confession of an Inu.
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Kagome sighed as she lay down on the futon, smiling blissfully.
"Ohhhh how I missed this!" she crowed. A little giggle drew her attention to her side. Rin had cuddled up next to her, smiling widely.
"Rin missed this as well!"
Kagome frowned in mock discipline.
"Now Rin, we do not refer to ourselves by our own names, now do we?"
Her eyes widened when she realized her mistake. She grinned sheepishly as a little blush rose to her cheeks.
"No Kagome-chan. I forgot." She buried herself in one of the blankets. "I missed this," she corrected.
"That's my girl." Kagome wrapped an arm around her before going in for the kill, tickling her sides mercilessly. Giggles joined the sound of rain hitting the rooftops.
"You two, always so rambunctious," laughed Sango as she set out her futon.
Kagome sighed as she released the girl, sprawling out on her back.
"Oh, but it's so fun Sango-chan, you should try loosening up a little!"
"Hmm. Perhaps. My brother and I played frequently, mostly games of chase or mock fighting. But it has been a while." A sad smile adorned her pretty face.
"I wish Sesshomaru-sama was here," complained Rin quietly. "It will be hard to sleep without him and Shippo-chan here like always."
Kagome smiled as she smoothed the little girls hair.
"Of course, but we will be fine. If you want, we can share my pelt, and I will tell you a story to help you sleep."
"I would like that," she grinned. "But no stories of spirits! Miroku-sama was telling me one as we came into the building and I don't think I like those stories."
"I won't tell a scary story, I promise. It's just that Miroku-sama got us into this large home because he told the man who lives here that he would cleanse it of evil spirits."
"Did he lie?" Her eyes were wide with the realization.
"Not exactly," Kagome explained. "If there are any evil spirits he will dispel them, like he always does, but I suppose it wouldn't be honest to say that there were always spirits in the places we stayed in the past." All three giggled at the thought.
"Well as long as it's a happy story, and it ends happy!"
"Of course, Rin-chan, whatever you like."
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Kagome woke with a start, sweat dripping down her face. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end slowly, and she looked about the room frantically. Confusion knit her brows together.
"What…?"
She was lying on the ground in a cave, from what it looked like, but a hellish red glow encompassed the room. She stood warily, feeling not a single aura around her. That empty feeling sat in her gut, twisting and gnawing away at her nerves. What was going on?
A quiet moan rang in her ears, quiet enough that she wasn't even sure that she heard it. Her ears perked, listening in fear for any other sound. Soon enough it came again, but louder. It was coming closer, whatever it was. She spun around, trying to figure out which direction it was coming from. There were many tunnels, some lit up in red, others pitch black. She couldn't decided which was worse.
Forced to rely on only her hearing and sight, denied her spiritual abilities, she picked a dark tunnel and ran in the opposite direction of where she thought it was coming from.
A strange plopping sound was coming up behind her, almost like a wet waddling. She froze in her path and tried to hide in a dark crevice. Her heartbeat quickened and her hands automatically went up to the fur around her neck, as she listened. The feeling of the soft fur calmed her, if only minutely.
"Sesshomaru-samaaaaaaaaaaaa!" called a familiar nasally voice.
She breathed out in relief and reached out as the short figure raced by her.
"Jaken-sama!" Her arms wrapped around him, effectively stopping him as well as drawing him into her little safe spot.
"Sesshomaru-sama! I cannot die yet! I have little ones to look after! You must rescue your poor loyal retainer!" He thrashed for a moment till he realized who had him.
"Jaken! Stop it!"
He glowered at her from his prison in her arms.
"Let me go ningen!" He screeched shrilly. "Put me down this instant!"
She did as he asked, though it was more like dropping.
"Calm down Jaken," she grumbled, covering her ears. "You'll attract whatever that is back there." A moan drifted towards them as if to emphasize the point.
They both stared at one another.
"We should go." Kagome began back up the path, now feeling a little better about her predicament now that she had someone with her.
He followed silently.
"Now where do you think we are, Jaken-sama? And how do you think we got here?"
"The last that I remember is being at that paltry excuse for a home. I was polishing Sesshomaru-sama's armor when I seem to have been put under a sleeping spell."
Kagome snorted to herself, knowing that it was more than likely that he just fell asleep on the job. And it was probably a self-appointed job at that.
"Yeah, we were all sleeping in our room…" she thought quietly for a moment. After a moment she put two and two together. "We're dreaming."
They both stopped walking.
"What did you say ningen?"
"We're dreaming. As in, still asleep. This is an illusion." The walls around them flickered momentarily, but the moaning grew louder.
"Hah! That explains it! I can't feel anything, as if I didn't have my miko powers, but of course I wouldn't in a dream!" She grinned as the walls disintegrated slowly around them and everything grew hazy.
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Kagome opened her eyes and sat up, completely aware of her surroundings. She could hear Rin next to her, crying a little in fear. She grabbed her shoulder, shaking her gently.
"Rin-chan wake up!"
The poor girl woke with a start, her eyes welling up with fear.
"Kagome-san!" She wrapped her arms around the older girl.
"It's alright Rin-chan. It was just a dream." She glanced over, seeing Sango sitting up in her futon.
"I think we'd better go see what's going on though."
They all three got up and grabbed what weapons they had before hesitantly leaving the room. They crept slowly in single file with Rin between them, looking around corners first and listening for any possible sounds. They made their way to the men's rooms, and when they got to the door Kagome put her ear to it, while Sango kept an eye out. Everything was eerily silent but unlike in the dream she could feel the auras around her. Everyone inside was calm.
Kagome knocked quickly and quietly.
"Enter," came the low reply.
"Sesshomaru-sama? Miroku-san?"
The three girls went into the room hurriedly, closing the screen behind them.
"You are distraught."
Sesshomaru was sitting on some cushions near the window, leaning on the sill. The soft moonlight highlighted his elfin features delicately.
"And you guys are strangely calm. Didn't you have the dream?"
"Dream, Kagome-sama?" asked Miroku from his spot at a low table. He appeared to be writing out some more sutras.
"Wait, did either of you fall asleep yet?"
"I need very little sleep, Miko, if you remember. And the Houshi has been pre-occupied with restocking his wares. What is this dream you speak of?"
Rin practically ran to him and cuddled into his lap, despite his slightly abashed expression. He said nothing as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to hold her close.
"It was scary, Sesshomaru-sama…"
"Yeah it was really freaky," Kagome agreed as she sat next to him on a cushion, wrapping her arms around herself to ward off the chill. Sango went to sit next to Miroku and laid her head on the tabletop.
"I was in a cave, with glowing red light. And there was something chasing me through the tunnels," she shivered subconsciously at the memory of the sound. "Oh!" She looked up at the Inu. "And Jaken was there!" She looked around the room, searching for the green toad. Sesshomaru's brow rose at that.
"Jaken has taken it upon himself to polish this one's armor. I believe he went to the stables with Ah Un."
"Oh, yeah he mentioned something about your armor. But he fell asleep. And I ran into him in my dream. Vision. Or whatever it was. Any ideas Miroku?" She turned to the Houshi.
"Hmmm, it could be a spirit. I have heard of them haunting dreams when they cannot appear in the live realm. But it should be harmless, it IS merely a dream after all."
"It's harmless? But it's not good either! Don't you think we should try to expel it or something?"
She leaned over on Sesshomaru's shoulder, absently petting the fur of his Moko-Moko as she thought.
"Well, Kagome-sama," murmured Miroku as he finished the characters on his sutra, "It probably has some purpose, simply dispelling it could be harmful to whatever soul is trapped in that in-between. I think we should simply leave it be. I'm sure it will eventually find it's peace."
"What? Really? That's all? No 'evil spirit begone'?"
He shook his head with a smile.
"In this matter perhaps the Houshi is correct. Meddling in affairs that we do not understand will not help. It may simply make matters worse. I think it best that we simply move on in the morning."
Kagome frowned as she thought about it. Was that really the best solution? I mean sure, they meddled quite a lot in the past when it wasn't their business, but didn't they help out a lot too? She sighed as she leaned even more heavily on the taiyoukai's shoulder.
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Sesshomaru glanced down at the child sleeping against his chest and then over to the miko who leaned against his shoulder. How strange these times were. Never in his wildest machinations would he have expected to become so close to ningen females. He was not exactly the most social of Inu. He knew that that made him strange to other Inu, who were naturally pack animals, but now he would seem like any other. He had his own pack which was becoming more closely knit by the minute. Secretly he had always longed for a pack again, but he had steeled himself to a life of loneliness for the rest of eternity. And now he could honestly say that if any of his pack were missing he would feel it dearly. He sighed internally. What was he to do? Was he becoming soft?
Kagome sighed from beside him as she practically curled into him. He could feel her frustration and confusion, and could not help but wish to alleviate it. But how to do so?
He lifted his Moko-Moko from between them, much to her confusion, and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"If it will calm you I will speak with the master of this house in the morn."
He could see, as she wrapped the fur closer around herself, how the corners of her mouth tilted up in a small smile. She cuddled in closer to him.
"Thank you."
"Hn."