As they swerved past another abandoned car on the road, Daryl sat completely still on the middle seat in the back with Beth across his lap and the guy Aaron on his other side.
His skin crawled with how much he felt surrounded and trapped by these strangers and while trying to give the appearance of staring straight ahead, he took the time to take them in out of the corners of his eyes.
The biggest thing that was making him uneasy was how suddenly comfortable they seemed around him and Beth. They had their guns lowered and seemed to be staring out the windows or chatting absently about food stock. While some people - stupid people - would think that made them less threatening, it made Daryl feel even more uneasy. This level of confidence could only come from being such a threat yourself, that you don't need to feel worried. Daryl wondered whether they had numbers, soldiers perhaps, back wherever they were taking them which made them feel so confident that if Daryl tried anything he'd be captured.
He looked down at Beth again, her blonde hair pooling over his lap, and he prayed for the millionth time since they got in the car that this was the right decision. He needed more than anything for them to be telling the truth, that there would genuinely be help for her, because however many times he asked himself whether or not this was the right move, he knew she wouldn't have made it out there for much longer.
"So what happened to your group?" Rosita asked, eyeing him in the mirror as she drove. He noticed there was still a hint of suspicion in her eyes and it gave him some comfort to know that at least she still saw him as at least partly a threat.
"Had a safe place. Someone took it. We all got split up. Haven't seen 'em since." He answered. "Doubt they're still alive." He muttered the last bit more to himself, looking down at Beth as if wanting her to contradict him with her beliefs.
"Yup. Been there." Rosita said, with a clench of her jaw before looking back at the road. Before he had a chance to wonder what her experience had been, the road turned and without the woods now obstructing the view, they were on a single long road right up to what he could only describe as a fortress.
In front of them were huge metal walls that seemed to go on as far as the eye could see, with a huge gate directly in front of them. His eyes were immediately drawn the the guards standing on top of the walls holding large machine guns and he felt his eyes narrow involuntarily.
This was it. If he had any plans to try to take these three people out, he was now too late. He suddenly felt backed into a corner, like a caged animal, or worse, like a lamb being taken to slaughter. He pulled Beth closer to him and felt his jaw clench as they closed the distance to the gate.
Aaron, the man sitting in the back with him seemed to notice. "It's OK Daryl." He said calmly, raising his hand as if to touch his arm, before thinking the better of it. "We're going to get Beth help." His eyes narrowed on the man and he started to feel all his muscles tense as the reassuring voice only made him more suspicious of the impending trap.
The gates slid open as soon as they approached and Daryl felt the sweat trickle down the side of his face as they drove right in and pulled up just inside. He suddenly felt like he needed to get him and Beth out of the car before the gates shut. Once they did, they were well and truly trapped and there really was no hope.
Ignoring everything about the surroundings, he began climbing out the car, Beth in his arms, while looking up at the guard on the gate. He was huge, with a red oversized moustache that matched his hair pulled up into a grin.
"Dang my girl's made it back home! And I don't mean you Eric!" He called to them before bursting into loud, booming laughter.
He took in the roll of Rosita's eyes as his eyes began darting around trying to work out their best escape route. His senses were going into overdrive and he could hear distant chatting and a strange, familiar smell of food not cooked over fire.
"And you brought back some newcomers! Well welcome to Alexandria! Bossman'll be pleased to meet you!" He called down to them.
That was what did it for Daryl. 'Bossman' sounded much too like 'The Governor' and he made his decision then and there that he needed to get out. No fucking way is he walking into some kind of fake town run by a fucking psychopath.
He noticed that Aaron had left as soon as they arrived, presumably to get 'Bossman' so Daryl realised with a clench of his stomach that he had only a short amount of time.
Clinging Beth to him, he began stepping back silently, mentally noting that the gate was still open and Rosita had got out of the car leaving the keys in the ignition. If he could step back enough without them noticing, he could get Beth into the back seat and possibly take out the guard with his bow, before getting in the driving seat and reversing the car out of there.
His eyes darted about, acknowledging the lowered guns in both Eric and Rosita's hands as they called up to the guard about their trip. He could do this. It'll be tight, but his skin crawled with how wrong it all felt: the large metal walls, the cleanliness of even the guard, the sounds of voices and chatter that didn't belong in the world he had seen since the turn.
With just one more silent step back to take before he'd be in a position to put Beth in the car, he realised he was too late.
"Here he is!" Called the guard gesturing further into the enclosure...town whatever you want to call it.
Daryl stopped moving, gave Beth one last look, before standing up straighter, trying to make himself look as threatening as possible as he prepared to face this new Governor. His heart hammered in his chest and once again, he felt overcome with how much he hated everything.
Feeling trapped and defenceless, rage was written all over his face as the man, obscured by the Autumn sun, finally came into view.
Daryl's ears trained on his footsteps heard him take a few more steps before he stopped suddenly.
"Daryl?"
Daryl felt like he had lost his fucking mind. He had played Rick's voice in his head millions of times since the fall of the prison, sometimes without even meaning to, like when he was trying to work out what to do or make a decision and a memory of Rick's advice floated into his conscious. But this was different, it was clear and sharp, unlike the memories that had recently started to sound clouded or like someone else's.
As if to confirm what Daryl's mind was telling him couldn't be true, Rick came into view and Daryl ignored his neat beard, clean skin and clothes and just stared at his face feeling like all the air had left him. As Rick's eyes seemed to fill with tears, Daryl held his gaze, his expression blank before answering with a ducked nod, as he couldn't trust his own voice to speak.
The strangers looked on as Rick walked right up to Daryl and placed a strong and comforting hand on his shoulder. It felt so strange to have someone else touching him that wasn't Beth, but it was achingly familiar and he felt all the warmth and reassurance pouring through Rick's hand. Rick didn't say any more, instead nodding in response as his eyes searched Daryl's face.
It was as if he suddenly noticed Beth, looking down at her in Daryl's arms as he continued to hold his hand firmly on his shoulder. Seeing her he huffed out a short sob before stepping away as if trying to compose himself.
The reaction made Daryl suddenly shake out of his dreamlike feeling and the whole reason he was even standing there overwhelmed him and he felt urgency overcome him.
"Beth needs help." Daryl said to Rick, looking him seriously in the eye. "It's a wound, infected, not by walkers." His voice came out surprisingly steady and serious and it suddenly felt like he'd never been without Rick at all.
Rick seemed to physically pull himself together and his own serious expression mirrored Daryl.
"We'll help her." He said, staring Daryl in the eye before calling, "Aaron we need Denise! Now!"
"Already got her." Aaron's voice came from behind Rick and Daryl eyed what he assumed was Denise suspiciously as she gave an unsure smile and a slight wave before beckoning and walking towards a pristine, white house. As Daryl walked quickly towards her with Beth in his arms, he took in the curious expressions of the now silent guard and Rosita as they seemed to try and work out his connection with Rick.
Rick. This was really him. And this was Rick's doctor. Daryl's stomach did a flip as he suddenly felt a rush of confidence fill him that Beth might be OK. This was someone Rick trusted. Whatever fucking hell they'd been through, however many animals they met along the way, if this was someone Rick trusted, Daryl trusted them too.
He rushed into the makeshift surgery room set up in a pristine and well decorated lounge, before gently placing Beth on the counter. He stared at her pale and sallow face suddenly feeling useless and empty without her in his arms.
"I promise I'll try my best, but you gotta get outta here so I got the space to work." The Denise woman said it gently, trying to catch his eye as he looked down at Beth.
Looking up at Denise, he stared at her, suddenly feeling horribly uneasy about being away from Beth. He promised her he wouldn't leave her and now, when she was most vulnerable, this woman was asking him to.
"She'll be OK. Denise'll look after her, brother." He felt Rick's strong, comforting hand on his shoulder again as he came into view.
Hesitating for another second longer, Daryl nodded, before stepping outside the room, feeling too enclosed in the hallway and then right out the front door and onto the porch that he hadn't noticed in his rush to get in.
He felt strange being apart from her right away and to calm his nerves he made his mind visualise exactly where she was in the room, just a wall away from him.
Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last few hours and the exhaustion of carrying Beth, he lowered himself onto the porch floor with his back against the wall beside the door, all the while with Rick's eyes following his every move.
Standing a few steps down, leaning against a post, Rick seemed to continue to stare at Daryl.
Feeling anxious and restless about Beth, Daryl took a bolt out and started fiddling with it in his hands.
"How'd she hurt herself?" Rick broke the silence, as if finally deciding what question he wanted to ask.
"Weren't her. Was someone else." Daryl answered, not looking up at Rick but he could see him out of the corner of his eye seem to suddenly take in Daryl's cuts and bruises on his face. Daryl didn't want to say more. He didn't want to start having to recount the horrors they'd been through. He just wanted to know that Beth was OK and that was all his mind had room for right now.
There seemed to be a long silence before Rick asked another question.
"When d'you find her?" He asked.
It took a second for Daryl to understand what he meant. When he did, he stopped fiddling with the bolt and looked up at Rick.
"Din't find her. Been with her since we lost the prison."
Rick's eyes seem to widen slightly at that and it suddenly occurred to Daryl that while he had Beth, Rick must have been alone before finding these people or forming this community.
"You been out there this whole time?" Rick asked. Holding his gaze Daryl nodded.
"Kept try'na find some place… but it never worked out for long." Daryl chewed the inside of his cheek and looked back down at his bolt as he thought back to that desperate winter, where he wished and prayed for a goddamn place.
"Shit." Rick said suddenly, running his hands over his face. "The others. I gotta tell the others . Maggie. Shit Maggie."
He seemed to almost forget Daryl was there and turned abruptly and started jogging up the street.
'The others'? Daryl felt like he could hear his blood rushing in his ears as he played that sentence in his mind again and again.
The others? Maggie?
Holy shit. Beth was right.
They made it. Her sister made it. They were safe. They weren't dead.
The searching after the prison fell. Constantly sticking close to the prison, while avoiding the walkers. Leaving signs in the small towns nearby. Telling Beth it was stupid even though inside he hoped and hoped others were still out there. Then the day they gave up. Feeling his heart turn heavy, seeing the sadness in her face as they decided to prioritise living over the searching. Accepting at that point that they wouldn't see them again. Rick, Judith, Carol. They were gone. He didn't grieve, Beth didn't grieve. They had to turn their backs on them and survive. Then the hours they'd spend talking in the flickering firelight about whether they were still out there. Whether they'd have gotten a break, somewhere warm, somewhere safe. Hearing the hope in Beth's voice while feeling the doubt in his heart.
And here they are. He didn't know who, but Maggie and Rick at least. In a place with walls, houses, guards, people. She was right all along. He let out a calming breath and closed his eyes, again, letting his mind visualise where he had left her next door to reassure himself she was close. As he did, his ears picked up footsteps running.
Looking down the street in the direction Rick had left, he saw Maggie running, tears streaming down her face, followed closely behind by Rick and Glenn. It felt like a punch in the stomach as he saw them and he felt lightheaded, like he was high or something.
He stood quickly, feeling like his hands were hanging uselessly at his sides as he followed them with his eyes as they ran up to the porch. Before he even had a chance to realise what was happening, Maggie tore up the steps and throwing the front door open, ran straight into the house. He went to follow her, suddenly tense at what Denise had said about needing the space to work on Beth before Rick put a hand on his chest.
"I got it man." He said, before turning and walking into the house, leaving Daryl and Glenn on the porch.
Before Daryl realised what was happening, Glenn pulled him into a hug and again, he felt overwhelmed by how strange it was to feel someone who wasn't Beth.
Daryl stepped away abruptly, leaving Glenn grinning in front of him.
"So I definitely thought one day you'd just rock up at the gates. Knew you'd be out there living like Georgia's version of Rambo. But yeah, definitely thought you'd be alone, not carrying an unconscious Beth. Anyway I've had this stored away for when the time came. Grabbed them just as we were running out the door."
Glenn grinned and presented Daryl with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Daryl huffed a laugh and took one gently. He lit one up, feeling the burn in his chest and despite feeling overwhelmed by how he missed that feeling, his expression quickly turned serious again, thinking about Beth on the other side of the wall.
He heard a commotion, Maggie's strained voice, Denise and Rick's calming tones before the front door opened suddenly and Maggie came out.
She turned to him quickly, tears still streaming down her face and an urgency to her expression.
"Rick said someone did this to her, who did it?" She asked urgently looking at him, but as if she wasn't really seeing him.
Daryl stared at her thinking about how Beth is going feel when she sees her.
"Don't matter. They're dead." Daryl answered plainly, as he blew out a cloud of smoke.
Maggie stared at him and he felt strangely like he was suddenly coming into focus in her eyes. Her expression softened and she stood in front of him, gently touching his shoulder.
"Thank you. Thank you for keeping her safe all this time." She said with tears streaming down her face.
Daryl felt his blank expression fall into a frown as he turned away from her as the shame overtook him.
"I didn't." He answered quietly looking shamefully at the floor. "She had to do it herself. Din't have a choice." He finished, suddenly realising how none of them had any idea what Beth had been through.
"She's gonna to be OK Daryl." Maggie said softly looking at Daryl. "Denise said she's gonna be OK."
Daryl nodded slightly, feeling a creeping and ominous unease at how much Maggie misunderstood.
Beth had changed. She had no choice but to. And if Maggie thought that patching her up would bring her old Beth back again she was wrong.