Had this story floating round my computer for months.

What if Dr Cockroach accidentally made Susan bigger?

PART 1 of 3

"They called me crazy! But I'll show them! I'll show them all! MWAH HAH HAH!" Dr Cockroach roared with maniacal laughter.

The mad scientist fine tuned his strange device consisting of a pizza box, a toaster and an iron. It had several cables running from it and connected to Susan's head, she had a nervous expression on her face.

"Doctor," Susan said, "I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh whilst I'm hooked up to this machine."

Insectosaurus screeched loudly, Link nodded in agreement with his friend, "You're right Insecto," he turned to Susan, "You've been letting that quack experiment on you for nearly a month!"

"I am not a quack," Dr Cockroach protested, "I'm a mad scientist! There is a difference!"

"Guys, what choice do I have?" Susan replied. "If he can make me normal- or even six foot eight- I can get out of here. Get back to the life I'm supposed to have. I mean, I should be in…"

"Let me guess…" Link cut in, "Fresno?"

"Well, Fresno's just a stepping stone," said Susan, "Next stop Milwaukee, and then New York and then some day hopefully…"

"Yeah, we know…" Link interrupted again, "Paris!"

"Throw the switch, doctor," sighed Susan, "But don't do the laugh."

"Now, you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain, Ha Ha…sorry!" said Dr Cockroach.

He threw several switches and his machine sparked to life, bolts of energy sizzled around Susan and arced back into the machine, which exploded in a shower of sparks. Black smoke billowed everywhere, followed by a scream from Susan and then a very loud crash.

Dr Cockroach, Link and B.O.B. coughed as they got off the floor, swatting away the plumes of smoke, it was like being swallowed in a black fog. Dr Cockroach found his machine and checked, it was completely burnt out, he looked at the circuitry and discovered something, "Oh, boy!" he gulped.

"Gentleman, stay where you are!" he warned the others.

Link didn't hear him and walked into something large and soft, he fell to the floor thinking he'd bumped into Insecto, getting up again he called out, "Hey buddy, watch where you're placing your feet!"

The giant grub screeched in response, "You haven't moved?" said Link, "Then what did I walk into?"

The smoke gradually lifted, revealing the obstacle in Link's path, it was a giant wall that appeared to be made out of a black material, he stepped back in shock. The large item was Susan's leg, but it was several times bigger than it was previously. A few moments later Susan came too, she lifted her head above the smoke, something didn't feel right.

"Am I small again?" she asked. Dr Cockroach's voice called out from the smoke but it sounded distant.

"I'm afraid not, my dear," he said with a worried tone in his voice, "In fact…you may have actually grown a couple of feet."

"That's an understatement!" said Link.

Susan stood up and looked around, the room was smaller, she then looked ahead and saw Insectosaurus staring at her, the bug was now eye level with her. So either everything had shrunk or she had grown…again. She brought her hands to her mouth as she looked down, Dr Cockroach and the others now looked like ants to her, they craned their necks to look up at her. She couldn't believe this was happening, instead of returning to normal she had become even more of a monster, she was now 350 feet tall.

Her clothes this time had grown with her so she didn't feel so exposed like she did on her wedding day. She felt something stuck to her behind, she reached and pulled it off, it was the chair she was sitting on, her rapid growth meant she had crushed it in the process and it had become stuck to her buttocks. In a brief moment of da ja vue, she looked back down at her friends who walked up to her feet which were now bigger then trucks.

"Oh my god!" said Susan, her voice more booming than before, "doctor, what happened?"

Dr Cockroach was sheepish as he spoke, "Well, in order to make the whole thing work I used Insectosaurus' height as a reference to your own so the machine knew how tall you were, unfortunately…" he tugged at his turtle neck jumper, "I got the transmitters round the wrong way, so instead of shrinking you, I…"

"…you did the opposite?" Link finished.

"Well can you reverse it?" said Susan. Dr Cockroach looked at his device, it was nothing but cinders and ashes mixed with wires now.

"I'm afraid not, Susan!" he called up to her.

"But this isn't fair," she cried, "I don't want to be even bigger; I just wanna…I just…I…aah…aah…"

The monsters looked up at their friend and panic struck their faces. The black smoke had drifted into the air and gone up Susan's nose, the 350 foot tall woman was about to sneeze! Dr Cockroach and Link ran behind Insectosaurus, bracing themselves by grabbing the bug's fur. B.O.B. just stayed still, looking at Susan as she leaned back, her nose twitching.

"IT'S GOING TO BLOW!" called B.O.B.

Susan couldn't help it, her voice got louder and deeper until, "aah…aah…AAH-CHOOOOO!"

Insectosaurus felt as if it had been hit by a force ten gail, Link and Dr Cockroach were lifted off their feet as they held onto their friends furry foot, B.O.B. just flew past them and splattered all over the opposite wall. Insectosaurus couldn't withstand the force anymore and fell onto its back, Link and Dr Cockroach flying off and hitting the B.O.B. stained wall.

At last the wind died down and Susan blew her nose on her handkerchief. Looking up, she saw she had completely destroyed the room with just her sneeze, tables and chairs had been blown to pieces, Insectosaurus was on its back and the others were lined up on the opposite wall.

"Gesundheit!" mumbled Link.

"Look at me," called B.O.B, "I'm a booger!"

"Geez, I'm so sorry guys!" Susan apologised. She walked over and picked Insectosaurus up and placed it back on its feet, the bug looked dazed. She then walked over to the others; B.O.B. had just reformed himself as she knelt down to get a better look at them. "Doctor, is there anything you can do?"

"I was fortunate enough to just create devices that could shrink you from 50 feet. At 350 feet, it's impossible." Dr Cockroach called up to her.

Susan hung her head, now she was the joint biggest living thing on the planet and had no way of becoming small, ordinary Susan Murphy again. She slammed her fist into the wall, creating a huge dent and several cracks in the wall, "Oops, sorry!"

A door opened and General Monger thundered inside in his jeep, he slammed the brakes on when he saw the even taller Susan. "By the well of Ross! What the hell's going on here?"

After explaining Dr Cockroach's cock up, Monger led the small monsters into a jet where he explained his situation to them, he then came back and led Susan and Insectosaurus down a giant tunnel with his jet pack, Susan was finding it hard to walk fast, her increased weight was slowing her down. She turned to the general who was now half the size of her index finger, "General, what's going on?"

Monger told her about the deal he had made with the President, in order to gain their freedom they must destroy an alien robot, Susan was thrilled, she clapped her hands together and the shock wave sent the general flying out of control, Susan quickly held out her hands and caught him, "Sorry, this is all completely strange to me!"

"Of course you two behemoths are too big to be taken in the jet so you'll have to make your own way to San Francisco," Monger said.

"That's not far from my home!" Susan realised.

"In your case it's about 5 steps away!" joked Monger.

Susan looked hurt, "That's not funny,"

"Neither is trying to blow me out of the sky," Monger shot back, "now you two get to San Francisco before your friends get squished!"

The cave reached an exit in a cliff face, Insectosaurus was led by a helicopter carrying lights, Susan followed behind, she may be the biggest human alive now but she finally felt her luck starting to change.