Despite the fact that he knew better, Dean searched the entire house for South when he came home from the garage. He knew that she must have done something to calm him because his afternoon had been several hours of intense focus on his work. As soon as he could call it quits for the day, however, all he could think about was getting home to his wife.

He looked in the tent room last, hoping that by some miracle she had been able to shelter herself there. She was nowhere.

Ignoring Sam and Bobby as they talked in the living room, Dean made way for the Impala. His destination was unclear when he left the house, but it didn't take long for him to end up in that field by the airport. He took the two envelopes South had given him, took a seat on the hood of the car, and opened the first one.

Dean –

I can't believe eleven years have passed since we've seen each other face-to-face.

Actually, that's not entirely true. About five years ago, you found me in Tucson. I was so relieved to see you, but I think we both still had our hang-ups about being together. We had our one night, and that was the first time you gave me your mother's ring. I couldn't stand the thought of you being without it, or the possibility of never seeing you again. So, even though we agreed it was the end, I made you forget. I was selfish then, and maybe I'm being selfish now, sending this letter through Bobby instead of seeing you, after I made sure that the option to still see you was still there.

I'll never forget the day you and your dad and Sammy showed up at our house. Even then I was already seeing things and beginning to understand that I was different. You were my first big revelation – don't think I ever told you that. I knew that we were always going to be in each other's lives, though I'll admit, at five years old, I don't think I understood the full capacity of that involvement.

And now I've had another big revelation. After I made you forget everything that happened in Tucson, I promised myself I wouldn't let the angel side come out again. I wouldn't use my abilities unless absolutely necessary. For the most part, I've stuck to that, with the rare occasion that they've come forward on their own. This one, I couldn't hold back from.

I have every reason to believe that something dark is coming my way. I sit and try to go more in depth on what I've already seen, and there is so much black. So much evil and nothingness. And then, just nothing.

It's the first and only time since I was five years old that I've been glad we aren't in each other's lives. You won't be here to experience that darkness, or get hurt in the process. I haven't even decided yet if I'll call Bobby. Maybe it's easier and better for everyone if I just let this all happen.

Assuming this is the end of my life, then there are things I want you to know. First of all, I never stopped loving you, and I never loved anyone else like I love you. There has been a guy the last couple of years, but he doesn't measure up to you. How could he? I've never told him about my life beyond the superficial. I've never told him that my name is Lulabelle. Probably because hearing anyone besides you call me that is just more than I take.

I never hated you. I never wanted you gone. Even when you left Lawrence like you did, I always just wanted you to come back, Dean. I was angry and hurt, but all of that went away at the very thought of seeing you again. That's why, in Tucson, all I felt when I saw you was relief. Maybe next time I'll see you and act on the anger I should have.

In another life, I would have wanted things to be different. I would have wanted us to find each other again, to figure out what went wrong last time, and live a life together – to put everything else behind us. Whether we would have found each other or not, I suppose that would have been the hard part. Neither of us can escape who we are, can we?

I remember reading something once, that fear allows the darkness to come into your life, but when you have no fear, you become the thing the darkness fears. I've been afraid for so long of what my very existence would mean for my life … I can only assume that fear has brought this ultimate end to me.

I want to say one last thing to you – not even in my own words. My friend Marie showed me this the other day, something she found online. I want you to remember this quote, Dean, and live by it. Don't let your life turn you into the closed-off man that John is. 'Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.' I know there are so few of us in this life who have seen your sweet side, but don't hide it away. Find a woman who can appreciate you for who you are, and who knows to appreciate those sweet moments when they come.

My only prayer now is that when this is all over, maybe I'll get to be somewhere that I can watch over you and Sammy, and Bobby.

All my love,

South

Dean folded up the letter and set it to the side. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to go back and change so many things. What if they had made this baby sooner? If he had stayed in Lawrence, maybe at least John would have been alive to see this all happen, Colby and Rebeca would have been around, they could have told them what to do. Could have gotten South out of this.

Going to the kitchen for a beer, Dean knew that he couldn't blame anyone or anything. South had told him, after all, that this is the way things were supposed to be. No matter what they would have or could have done differently, it was always going to be this way.

"I hate not knowing what do right now," Sam mentioned as he walked into the kitchen, fetching a beer for himself. "Isn't there something?"

Dean shook his head. "No. If there was, she would have told us."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Not making this any easier for you."

Dean headed back for the bedroom to read her second letter. "There is no making it easier, Sammy. For any of us."

.&.

Dean –

What can I say? Everything over the last seven and a half months has happened so quickly it seems, and we got such a small taste of a happy life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, you know. For the short time that I got to be your wife – Mrs. Dean Winchester – well, I have to believe that's what my Heaven will be like. The baby will be there, too, and we'll be a family. Maybe that's what we got to see in Kure Beach. My Heaven.

Isn't it ironic, that the surging of my powers to protect the baby, have made it harder for me to know how this will all happen? I wish I knew more, so that we could hold on to the happiness that we had. I read back over that first letter, and I can see how much I was holding back from you. I said I wanted it all in another life, but from the time I was five years old, there is nothing in this life I have wanted more than to live my life with you.

I'm not afraid anymore. Not for myself. I am afraid what my death will bring for Bobby, Sam, Marie, and, of course, you. I still pray that I will end up somewhere I can watch over all of you. I know it's too late to as promises of you, but I want you to promise yourself, for me, that you'll try and lead a happy life. Hold on to that quote from my first letter, and don't let this make your heart hard, Dean. Stay the man that I know and love, with all of my heart.

I do worry for the baby, too. In the instance that I'm at least able to get her out of this, you have to make sure the doctors take care of her. If it's before she is born, you make them do whatever they can to save her, and not me. I've lived the life I'm supposed to, but she hasn't even gotten to start yet. Take care of her. Don't let the darkness take her.

If I could go back to any time in my life, it would be the first night you and me and Sammy spent in the tent room.

I guess that's all there is. Don't give up on me, on the baby, or on us. I love you.

Lulabelle

Dean frowned. Her letter had been very touching, but it was part of the last line that caught his attention. Don't give up on me, on the baby, or on us. How could she could through those pages of preparing him for the worst and then tell him not to give up?

He threw the letter on the bed with the other one, and went back out to the main room. Marie was there, with her angel friend.

"Where's Bobby and Sam?"

"They went for Chinese, why?" Marie asked.

"South said something in one of her letters – I don't think we're just supposed to sit and wait."

"Did she say if she left anything behind?" Castiel commented.

Dean shook his head. "Not except for the letters. I mean, her will and estate papers, but that's it."

"It's not it," Marie said quietly. "She gave me something to give to you, but I'm not supposed to give it to you until tomorrow."

"Sonofabitch!" Dean cursed. "I'm sorry, Marie, that wasn't towards you. But there's the possibility that I could do something, and you've got the information I need."

Marie pursed her lips. "She'll hate me for this, but I don't want to wait. If this will help you save her –"

"There may be a reason she wanted you to wait," Castiel cautioned.

"Do you know that reason?" Marie countered. The angel shook his head. "Then shush. I'll be right back."

She disappeared into the basement and came back with the photo album Dean had given South when they returned from Kure Beach. He thanked her and quickly flipped through it; there was nothing new. The pictures from the beach, the picture of them when they were younger, and the baby's first ultrasound picture.

Dean sighed, feeling defeated. "It was a good thought. I guess I was wrong."

He took another bottle of beer and the photo album back to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

.&.

It hit him the moment he woke up the next morning. There was a sharp throbbing at this temple from the hours of drinking he had done the night before, but now that he was sober and somewhat conscious, he knew.

If I could go back to any time in my life, it would be the first night you and me and Sammy spent in the tent room.

Dean scrambled for the photo album where he had thrown it against the far wall in a fit of anger the night before. Beer bottles clattered to the floor as he crawled over to it. Sitting back on the bed with the thing in his hands, Dean flipped to the very first picture the three of them had taken together, all those years ago. He pulled it from its sleeve and flipped it over.

A list of numbers.

Coordinates.

A date.

A time.

Dean actually smiled. "She lied!"

He nearly ran out of the bedroom; the others were gathered in the kitchen, somber looks on their faces. Even Castiel was still there, staying close to Marie.

"South lied!" he exclaimed.

Sam lifted an eyebrow. "And you're happy about that?"

"When it means that she knows what's coming and knows enough to tell me when to be somewhere to help her, you're damn right I'm happy about it." He threw the picture on the table. "Look. Coordinates, a date – tomorrow – and a time."

"Dean, I'm just as happy about this as you are, but we don't even know what we'd be stepping into," Marie cautioned.

"You're not going," Castiel piped up. "You'll need to be ready for the after."

Dean saw them exchange a strange look; he dismissed it for the time being. "Then Sam, Bobby, and me. We'll go."

"Marie's right," Bobby spoke up. "We don't know exactly what we're getting into."

"But we can find out," Sam said confidently, standing next to his brother. "I've been researching this for a long time. I have some leads … No reason why I couldn't hit the books and figure out what we're up against by the time we get there."

They rallied after that. Marie told them she would clean up the kitchen, after shooting a mean scowl in Castiel's direction. Dean and Bobby made a trip to the garage to gather extra weapons hidden underneath a couple of the car lifts, and Sam got to studying.

Twenty-four hours after South had been gone from their lives, they had a plan to get her back.