Title: Peerless
Author: sllebswap
Characters/Pairing: Kobayashi Rindou and Tsukasa Eishi
Type: OneShot/Drabble Collection (InComplete)
Genre: Romance/General/Humor
Word Count: 7033
Rating: T (Contains content not suitable for children)
Disclaimer: Shokugeki no Souma belongs to Tsukuda-san.
Summary: To be peerless is to be unrivalled. Standing at the highest peak, unchallenged and without equal. To be peerless is to endure; the pressure of the world clamoring at your feet, the stark bite of loneliness clawing at your back. …Or is it always?
Loosely interconnected one-shots/drabbles exploring the curious relationship between Tsukasa Eishi and Kobayashi Rindou. Updates may not be in chronological order.
Verse: Canon Divergent AU
Chapter Last Revised on: 20/08/17
Omne trium perfectum
Primus: you spin me right round baby right round
Tsukasa Eishi was not having a good day.
To be more precise, he probably also hadn't been having a good last few days, or entire weeks actually, even more harried and frazzled than he usually was.
It was the evening where the annual gala that was thrown for all the board members, alumnus and affiliates of Tootsuki was being held, and as usual, the young man was running about making sure that all the last minute preparations were in place and that nothing was going sideways under his watch, not even the smallest, minutest detail. This yearly, posh social event saw the most exquisite foods from all over the world being prepared and served to the most famous and important people in Japan's gastronomic scene, and was always traditionally arranged and executed by the incumbent generation of Tootsuki's Elite Ten members. Attendance was also mandatory for the latter group of individuals, though that was not a bad thing at all, since it gave the students a very good stage to mingle and make their presences known to all the big names in the culinary world. Forming connections with all the right people were always important regardless of industry, and all this schmoozing would be invaluable to the advancement of their careers after they graduated from Tootsuki.
As the First Seat of the current generation, the White Knight had also been required to make an opening, pre-dinner speech before all the honored guests in attendance to officially sound off the festivities...as if he wasn't already stressed out enough from the planning and running around to make sure that the entire event would be successful. But he was obliged, and so he dutifully prepared his speech weeks in advance and memorized all the points that he needed to cover front and back, even though he had hated every minute of it. When it was finally time for him to get up on the podium to give his address, he had marched up there more like a general grimly prepared to die in battle and less like someone about to kick off a night of fun and merriments, but thankfully everything had gone more or less according to the many stimulations that he had ran in his head. He had been fueled on nothing but nerves and caffeine for the last day or so and it had been something of a miracle that he had pulled off the speech successfully without stuttering or going completely out of point. …Then again, he was probably too tired to properly react to his usual jitteriness and stage fright, already more or less running on autopilot.
If he had been a bit twitchier than usual, nobody was saying a thing about it.
The problem, however, started once he got off the pedestal and was promptly surrounded by a few of the sponsors, everyone wanting to have their say on what they thought of the gala so far. Eishi was promptly overwhelmed by congratulations and praises, and it was all he could do, stammering and deflecting the enthusiastic greetings, demurring and reminding the guests that he wasn't the only one who had worked hard for this entire event, and that all the other members of the Elite Ten had pulled their weight too to make this dinner an irrevocable success. Unfortunately for him, all the others had intelligently made themselves scarce for now (likely something that they had planned in advance to leave him holding the bag, so as to speak), and thus it was only him who had to deal with all the post-speech socializing. Those guys.
"U-Uhm…"
"It's fine! Why are you so shy and nervous for? You've done a great job, First Seat! Be more proud of yourself!"
It was stressful having to put up with the compliments and having all this attention heaped on him, but there was also no way he could gracefully bow out of the conversation, and so one thing led to another, and he wasn't really too clear who had been the one to hand him the flute of champagne in the first place, probably in some misguided attempt to get him to loosen up more and be less jumpy, only that he was flustered and distracted and so he had ended up gulping the whole thing down just to get a moment's peace and gather his frazzled thoughts, without even paying much attention to what he was drinking in the first place…
Twenty minutes, another flute of champagne and a glass of Moscato later, the world was significantly less overbearing…and actually quite tolerable, really. Eishi was also feeling pretty…okay. The thoughts constantly buzzing in his head and demanding his attention also seemed less pressing and he was able to ignore them…which made his near constant state of nervousness and anxiety recede somewhat. He was also actually able to focus one hundred percent on all the conversations going on around him…and in fact, was it him, or were these people speaking really slowly…?
His responses were steady and lucid as he politely contributed to the ongoing discussions, gradually growing slower and increasingly measured as he took the time to contemplate and form his replies. He was polite and attentive though his color appeared subtly heightened, and there was nothing about him that seemed out of the ordinary. Then again, these guests didn't know Tsukasa Eishi very well either, beyond what they understood of him in the role of Tootsuki's White Knight of the Table. He was handed another glass of wine amongst this merry, jovial circle of semi-inebriated happy-go-lucky Tootsuki affiliates who were also apparently the drivers, conductors and service personnel of this one way train ride straight to Drunksville.
One moment, Eishi was about to lift the glass to his lips; he felt faintly warm and thirsty and the selection of chilled wine was actually really nice-
The next instant, his glass was gone, deftly stolen from his hand by quick fingers…and he could only turn his head and stare, surprised, at the redhead who had just materialized beside him, holding his drink in her hand…which she proceeded to chug down like a champ without even a moment's pause. Then she exhaled, handed over the empty glass to a server passing by, and she beamed.
"Phew! I was really thirsty and needed that!" Her gold slit gaze cut over to the group of adults surrounding them, some familiar faces, others not so much, but she waved merrily at all of them all the same, not even a flicker or change of expression on her face as she grinned exuberantly at the guests. There was something about her friendly, casually engaging demeanor that drew attention and coaxed compliance. "G'evenin' everyone! Pardon the interruption, but the main hall's open so please do feel free to head on over to find your tables~ We've worked reaaallllly hard to prepare all the yummy hors d'oeuvres and drinks waitin' for all of you there, so please sample them and let us know what you think, 'kay? Dinner will be starting shortly, too! Thanks for turnin' up and supportin' Tootsuki as always!"
The group, already in a good mood from the company and the liberally flowing alcohol, was happy to let themselves be herded towards where the main event would be held. They were some of the last ones, since most of the crowd were already vacating the reception hall.
Eishi was standing there, looking vaguely lost. Was he supposed to follow them in as well, or…? In the back of his mind, there was a niggling feeling like he was forgetting something, but try as he might, he could not quite seem to remember-
Then, there was a hand waving right before his face, and his lavender eyes refocused, looking at the young woman who was still standing patiently before him.
Rindou took her hand back and placed it on her hips instead, faintly exasperated.
"You okay, Tsukasa? You're kinda spacing out a lot, and what's with the thousand yard stare?"
And then he was just looking at her. Nothing else. No words. Blank expression. He looked at her for the longest time, just staring in a very focused, intent way that would have made anyone else sputter and blush, but his friend just appeared vaguely amused by his owlish expression…or at least she was until she took a closer look at his faintly flushed features...and put two and two together.
"…Are you drunk?"
He blinked at her. A long, slow blink that served to emphasize how ridiculously long and lush those pale eyelashes of his were…and then he just looked so confused. Rindou snapped her mouth shut. However, instead of dismay, she just started to look even more amused. Drunk Tsukasa was not something she had ever encountered before…though mainly because they were still underage and it was technically illegal for them to have alcohol...
Well. Not that anyone really cared about that rule in a culinary school, though.
"I cannot believe you-"
"Rindou-senpai, Tsukasa-senpai, is everything okay?" Nene's voice interjected, the presence of the Sixth Seat accompanied by that of the Ninth as they wandered over from the main entrance of the ballroom. The grand foyer in Tootsuki's largest convention hall was already devoid of people, except for a handful of school personnel swiftly and efficiently dismantling the stage and cleaning up now that this section of the building would not be used anymore for the rest of the evening.
Rindou nodded at her fellow Elites.
"Kinda, only I think this fella here got himself a bit tipsy~" Her gaze centered on Terunori, sharpening a bit in rebuke. "Kuga, what the heck – you were s'posed to watch Tsukasa and make sure that this sorta thing doesn't happen!"
The second year huffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "Oyy, gimme a break here! I had my own duties to take care of also! 'Sides, I only took my eyes off'a him for an instant! He was gone from the stage the next moment I turned around!"
"Isn't that just 'coz you're too short and couldn't see over the crowd? You need to drink more milk, chibi!"
"…I WILL kneecap you, senpai or no senpai!"
The Ninth Seat's threat did not come to fulfillment, mainly because Kinokuni had calmly reached out and grasped the other teen by the back of his jacket, effectively restraining him before he could stomp over. Efficient as always, the Sixth Seat proceeded to placidly tackle the current issue head on.
"…I see. Should we have Tsukasa-senpai rest for a bit to recuperate, in that case?"
Rindou eyed her companion. The slightly taller male seemed a bit out of it. He actually did not look obviously intoxicated…but she also had no idea just how much he had imbibed, actually. Maybe it wasn't too bad…
"How d'ya even know that he's drunk? He looks perfectly normal to me," Kuga pointed out, though not before shaking free from Nene's firm grasp, scowling a little at the other second year as he did so.
Rindou huffed. "Whaddya mean 'he looks normal?' Look at him closely; he's perfectly calm and not panicking and/or stressed out – that's not a state of normal at all for this guy!" the redhead retorted. She poked Eishi in the side, and once again, only received a rather bland stare. Yep, Tsukasa's broken, alright. "I think maybe he's just good for sitting around quietly and lookin' pretty for the rest of the night…"
The three (lucid) Elite Ten members stood around for a brief moment just silently contemplating this circumstance.
Eishi sighed, then. "I need to use the restroom," he announced, polite as ever. "Excuse me."
The three watched as he turned and walked rather normally to the end of the hallway. He was in control of all of his faculties, Rindou observed. He marched stoically towards the nearest door-
But wait, where's he going?
"…AHHH! Tsukasa, stop! That's the Ladies! Kuga, stop him!"
A few minutes later, an irritated looking Terunori was coming out of the Men's with his First Seat senpai in tow. He had been made to tag along by the other two girls, just to make sure that the other male would not have an accident or suddenly lose consciousness and hit his head.
"He's fine," Kuga muttered crossly. "He made it to the little boys' room all on his own. I dunno why you're all fussin' over the guy so much just 'coz he had a bit too much to drink. You're overreacting, seriously."
Rindou tapped her feet restlessly. "We obviously can't risk Tsukasa doin' something funny during the dinner in front of all these people – that'd be hard to explain," she glanced at her friend. "…He's kinda weirdly unpredictable right now…" Her frank commentary was almost harsh, but the young man whom she was openly referring to in question was indeed quite out of it, since he made no move to protest her observation. It also helped that she was petting his hair halfheartedly, and he seemed placidly docile. It was almost kind of endearing, how dazed he looked.
Nene inclined her head in agreement. "I'll let the others know – we'll cover for Tsukasa-senpai; that's not a problem at all since all the preparations had already been completed, anyway." The First Seat was extremely thorough like that. The bespectacled Sixth Seat glanced between Rindou and Kuga. "Perhaps it might be best for someone to remain with Tsukasa-senpai as well."
"Hell no. I ain't babysittin' for the rest of the night! What am I, a nanny?" Kuga was quick to bow out of the picture. Rindou rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, obviously you did such a great job the first time around, nanny-san."
"How is it my fault again that Tsukassan's a lightweight when it comes to alcohol?"
Rindou huffed.
"This lightweight totally owned your ass, or d'ya need another reminder?" The fiery Second Seat retorted, reaching over to give the younger male a noogie as she did so. Usually, she'd be the first to laugh at Tsukasa while the others dogpiled him, but since he was kind of incapacitated at the moment, she turned his champion instead.
Kuga batted the taller redhead away, all fluffed up with indignation. It took him a lot of effort every morning just to get his hair perfect!
"What are you, his mom?" he complained loudly, nudging her aside and smacking her hands away from his bicolored mane. Then Eishi interfered, reeling her back in and frowning at Kuga in a protective fashion.
"Don't bully her," he told the shorter boy pointblank, inserting himself between the squabbling duo. Everyone stared at him, momentarily surprised by his unusually assertive nature, but he seemed strangely unfazed, though he did flinch when Rindou poked one sharp elbow into his side. She raised a brow at him.
"Worry 'bout yourself first, dummy," she rebuked faintly.
"I'm bullyin' her? More like she's bullyin' me!" Kuga was still grumbling indignantly. "You two are something else altogether, ya know that?"
"Rindou-senpai, maybe you should just stay with Tsukasa-senpai until he feels better," Nene suggested. "Kuga and I will rejoin the rest and make sure that the dinner runs smoothly."
"Huh?" Rindou did not look very thrilled by the suggestion. "But I was lookin' forward to the dinner…!"
Kuga just pointed at the white haired First Seat. "Dinner or this guy? Which is more important?"
"EH!" Rindou just looked really indignant. "Why must I choose one or the other?" She stamped her feet in pique, but clearly she also possessed some shred of conscience for she turned to Eishi ultimately. "…Geeze, fine, fine! I s'pose it can't be helped. 'Kay, you two go ahead before I change my mind. I'll just stick around and take responsibility for this guy here…"
Eishi blinked languidly at her again, and the two watched as their underclassmen excused themselves and disappeared into the banquet hall. Then, Rindou eventually realized that Eishi was still holding onto her. To be more precise, his hand was gripping her elbow firmly, and she glanced at their adjoined appendages briefly before lifting her gaze to meet his.
"How are you feeling?" she asked plainly, not the least bothered by the contact. "You're not going to faint or puke on me, are you?"
Again, he was pokerfaced as before, though his coloring still seemed flushed as ever. She clicked her tongue and raised her fingers to touch his hot cheek. "You're seriously warm-"
He reached up and grabbed her hand before she could pull away, instead pressing her open palm into the side of his face more.
"You feel nice."
She gave him a long look. His remark would have been easily misconstrued if not for the fact that he had deadpanned it as casually as one would speak of the weather. It was actually kind of hilarious, actually. "…You're acting funny yet I can't tease you 'coz you've got no concept of awareness right now, which practically takes all the fun outta it," Rindou announced, vaguely put out by this missed opportunity. "You're lucky I'm such a good, amazing, caring friend!"
Rather than being grateful, the white haired male just looked like he was getting increasingly…droopy. Now that she thought of it, it really had been a long, exhausting couple of days for him, and it was a wonder that he was still standing. What a dork. Rindou sighed and ruffled his hair, giving in. "You worked very hard today. Good job."
…Sides, he was kind of cute like this, all lost and sleepy and dependent on her.
"C'mon; let's get ya home before you really pass out on me."
Secundus: what's in a name
To say that Rindou had been quite put out when the culinary world finally noticed her enough to give her a moniker of her own would be something of an understatement.
"Eh? What's the meaning of this?!"
Hidden (somewhat) safely behind his desk, Eishi sighed and refrained from the urge to rub his temple.
"Rindou…while I don't mind you coming in here all the time and making yourself at home, can you maybe please be a little quiet? Some of us are actually trying to get some studying done, you know."
But the redhead was too…spirited to pay his protest any attention. He was always muttering in discomfort about one thing or another, anyway. What else was new? The seventeen year old vaulted agilely over the office couch with catlike grace, marched right up to him and shoved the publication that she had been holding right in his face.
"Look! Look at this!"
Eishi did not think that he could afford to not look. She was so adamant that he sputtered and took the magazine out of her grasp before she could quite literally shove it down his throat.
"What exactly am I supposed to be looking at…?" he trailed off as the page which she had turned to caught his attention. His gaze flickered over the article printed on there…or to be more precise, it was a gastronomy review. Critiquing her cooking.
Huh.
"Okay…?" he uttered, still confused even as he started to read the editorial. This was hardly the first time she had appeared on a publication; most of them on the Elite 10 usually found themselves put under the public spotlight of the culinary world in some form or another every few weeks or so, whether they wanted it or not. Besides, according to what he was reading so far, the critic was happily singing her praises and quite satisfied with her cooking prowess, so what was she so upset about…? "Congratulations…?"
Rindou was not looking for compliments, though.
"No! Read faster, Tsukasa! Towards the end! Look at the nickname!" the young woman insisted, puffing her cheeks out in pique, not the least impressed. "They gave me one too!"
Eh?
Eishi obligingly skimmed through the bulk of the article, mentally resolving to go over it more thoroughly later, but for now all that practice speed reading through paperwork sure was coming in handy.
He read as the well-known reviewer exclaimed over his friend's uncanny ability to identify and extract the best cuts of game meat and exotic ingredients with her clean, precisely impeccable knife skills. The writer also admired the way she was able to expertly draw out the full, robust nature of her ingredients in a flashy, astounding manner that did not compromise on the superior taste and quality of her bold, vivid creations. The journalist gushed over how the explosive and dynamic flavors did not clash and overwhelm each other at the same time, how this masterful young chef had managed to find ingenious, unorthodox ways to accentuate and further marry the dish so incredibly well despite her fiery and deceptively tempestuous, rough-and-tumble seeming methods of preparation.
The overall experience had resulted in a lush, deliciously earthy and unforgettably rich meal made by the hands of the one and only Second Seat of this generation's Tootsuki's Elites-
Uh.
"…Wild…Woman…Rindou….?"
Rindou scowled at his hesitant question. The white haired male looked faintly bewildered…and she took his reaction for agreement.
"Right?! What sorta name is that? Mou, so sexist! This had better not be something permanent that they're trying to stick me with," she huffed and puffed. "What's 'Wild Woman Rindou' even s'posed to mean, anyway?!"
He blinked at her raging up and down before his desk.
"You know, technically, he isn't wrong…" Eishi felt compelled to comment honestly, though he withered a bit when her golden eyes snapped to his, indignant and fired up. Oh, why did he had to go and open his mouth? "I mean, you're a woman and you're also kind of…"
Wild-ish…?
'Kind of' was an understatement here, and they both knew it. Rindou was not too appreciative of her friend pointing out the obvious, though. Her basilisk stare intensified, and he sputtered.
"I'm aware of what I am, but what does being female gotta do with the food I make?" she demanded to know. He had no answers for her, of course. "And 'sides, just 'cuz I specialize in exotic ingredients does not make me a wild thing! I'm offended! I'm an explorer! Bravely exploring and constantly pushing and expanding the limits of our world! Like- Like Christopher Columbus! Or Alexander the Great!"
She crossed her arms before her chest and pouted some more. She was really sulking something fierce, and he watched her bemusedly. "…S'not fair that you got such a cool moniker like 'Der Weiße Ritter der Tafel' and I get stuck with something so dumb." At this point, she had somehow already stopped butchering the fancy sounding German words that he had been titled with and could pronounce the foreign terms with reasonable accuracy. For some reason, she had been more proud of his moniker than even himself…
Ah. So the real reason for her displeasure was coming out, now…
"What sort of names were you actually hoping to get?" he asked instead, trying to coax her out of her funk. She shrugged, her frenetic pacing slowing as she mulled his question.
"I'unno. Somethin' better that this, for sure." Then her eyes lit up with an IDEA™, and he could quite literally see the gears in her head turning. Oh dear.
The beginnings of a mild alarm started to stir in Eishi's pale eyes. Whenever Rindou had that look on her face, nothing good ever came out of it. "Uh, maybe you should take some time to reflect before-"
"No need," she cut him off, her gold slit eyes glinting with determination, fighting spirit all fired up now. "I just thought up a great idea!"
"I was afraid of that," he muttered under his breath, but he was completely ignored…not that he expected otherwise.
"I'll convince the guy to reconsider his review!"
Eishi just looked even more concerned.
"Er…Rindou, you do know that we're not supposed to harass the critics, right…?"
"Psssht. You worry too much, Tsukasa! S'not like I'm going to do anything illegal or bad! I'm just gonna make some really yummy food, and if by some unexpected and unforeseen coincidence, reviewer-san decides that he has mislabeled me and I'm clearly deserving of a much cooler alias, then there's nothing wrong with that at all!"
Her logic was not entirely wrong, per se…though it was also a bit dodgy at some parts.
"…"
Most importantly…
"So here ya go! I'll leave all these to ya! Help me deal with all the forms while you man the fort! Sankyu!"
The stacks of paperwork that she seemed to have magically produced from out of nowhere to plop on his desk were heavy enough to make the sturdy piece of furniture shudder beneath the added weight. Eishi's eyes widened with horror as he gazed upon all the extra work that he had to do now. This woman…!
"Hey! W-Wait a minute-!" He started to stand up hurriedly, protesting the entire way, but the redhead was already quickly hauling ass out of the room.
"Okay, gotta go now! Wish me luck, Tsukasa! Buh-bye!"
Rindou beamed confidently at her friend on her way out, her expression alight with the boundless faith in his capabilities. In the face of her aggressive optimism, Eishi felt like a…soggy cardboard being pitted against a sunny, unstoppable force of nature. This battle was already called before it could even properly begin. In hindsight, he really should have known better than to let his guard down too much around her – she was always pulling wool over his eyes with embarrassing ease.
Eishi wanted to groan. Why was he always so weak-willed against her? Some knight he was, which just went to show that monikers really weren't everything they seemed to be in the first place.
That critic really knew what he was talking about though, when he went ahead and named the Second Seat 'wild woman…'
One month later, Eishi once again heard a very familiar yell of displeasure coming from the other office across his own… scant minutes before the source of all that bristling discontentment came sweeping right into his domain. He looked up just in time to see his friend sail into the room and straight towards him, her golden eyes flashing with pique, once more waving a familiar looking piece of publication around.
It was like déjà vu all over again.
"Tsukasa, look at this!"
This time, Eishi wisely plucked the latest subscription of the magazine off of her hands before she could push it in his face.
"Do I even want to know what you've done?" he asked rhetorically as she was all but vibrating with pent up energy, noisily pulling up a chair to sit beside him. He was a bit distracted by her proximity, the way she leaned automatically into his space to look at the page she had turned to as well, (im)patiently waiting for him to give his opinion of the piece. For some reason she always seemed to value his input, or at least she certainly did not mind listening to his perspective, though whether she actually agreed with it or was even convinced to act according to his sensible suggestions was a different matter altogether…
"Tsukasa, stop spacing out! Read and tell me what you think!"
He flushed a bit at her hassling and turned his attention to the editorial, studiously tuning out her fussing as he glanced over the passage before him. It did not take him long to grasp the gist of the article, not with the headlines already spelling out what the write up was about. Lunchtime with Kobayashi Rindou (Redux), printed the title, and so Eishi started to read, interested to know about the dish that his friend had whipped up to entice the food journalist into redoing his review of her cooking.
"…You actually managed to pull it off…" he trailed off, his lavender gaze focusing as he skimmed through what was written. He started to read aloud from the page.
"…Once more, the contrasts between the Second Seat of the previous 89th Generation Kikuchi Sonoka-san and her current 90th Generation counterpart Kobayashi Rindou-san cannot be any more obvious. In terms of cooking style as well as temperament and personality, the two might as well be day and night."
Rindou furrowed her brow and pressed even closer, puzzling over the words. "…S'that s'posed to be an insult or what?"
"I don't think so…?" Eishi replied slowly. "He's just pointing out that your style and that of Kikuchi-san are very dissimilar."
"Well, duh." Rindou uttered after brief thought. "Kikuchi-senpai and I are two completely different people and all that. Her western food is really yummy too, and she's super nice and pretty and her boobs are very soft and pillowy!"
Eishi really had no idea what the last few facts had anything to do with cooking or the culinary review that they were looking at. His ears turned red in embarrassment. "…U-Uh, okay. If you say so."
Unfortunately, the redhead started to draw some mistaken conclusions, as her golden gaze landed on his vaguely flustered expression. She started to look slyly amused, putting one and one together and coming up with four. A vulpine grin stretching across her impish features. "Heh. D'ya have a crush on senpai? I knew it!"
Eishi sputtered. "I do not!" he denied vehemently. The fact that the faint red was creeping onto his face in mortification was not helping his disavowal any. She snickered and nudged him in the shoulder.
"Don't worry~! I won't say a thing! Too bad Kikuchi-senpai already graduated – you should've confessed before she left! All those times the two of you were together planning events and dealing with the paperwork! You should have made a move! What a waste!"
Rindou was completely veering off topic. In fact, this metaphorical train that they were on was getting so off track that Eishi could only stare at the other third year in gaping disbelief.
"W-Wait a minute! I don't have that sort of interest in Kikuchi-san! You're mistaking something here!" the white haired male was determined to clear the air before it could get any worse. Rindou was like a wild animal – once she seized hold of a (perceived) weakness, she wouldn't be letting go anytime soon.
"Eh? Why not? Don't ya think that Kikuchi-senpai is really cute? Even an OCD perfectionist like you will be hard pressed to find any flaws to nitpick at," Rindou pointed out bluntly. Eishi grew more flushed.
"Kikuchi-san is a nice person…but it doesn't mean that I have that kind of interest in her…" he muttered, a faint note of disgruntlement slipping into his tone as something else occurred to him. He stared at his companion, frazzled. What was it with her and this mistaken impression that she seemed to have of him, that she kept thinking that the only kind of person he would want would be some 'perfect' paragon of virtue?
Rindou crossed her arms before her chest and appeared a bit disgruntled herself. This guy was just impossible to please – so picky! "Your standards are way too high, lover boy," she tch-ed disdainfully, and he just looked nonplussed. Just what was this ridiculous conversation that they were having?
"In the first place, I already told you that I don't like Kikuchi-san that way…!" he muttered back aggrievedly at her, and before she could reply to that, he quickly turned their attention back to the publication at hand. "Anyway. What dish did you make…?"
She finally got his pointed hint to drop the subject and shrugged. "I actually wanted to use flying fox meat but it was impossible to get a fresh supply," she mumbled, disappointed at the recollection. "So I ended up substituting with wild boar instead since we've got plenty of those here."
"…with one bite, the juicy, tender accents of masterfully roasted loin meat spread across my palate and flooded my mouth. I had been firmly determined to remain unmoved by this deceptively plain and simple offering, but it only took but one reluctant sampling to completely blow my expectations out of the water," Eishi started to read from the passage all over again.
"…The thick cut of precisely carved meat melted divinely on my tongue, and the exotic spice marinate further accentuated and complimented the wild, gamey taste of the wild boar. An incredible smorgasbord of flavors exploded across my senses in a loud, triumphant symphony of victory and the celebration of life. I was overwhelmed with breathless, fluttering pleasure. How is it possible that something cooked over open fire and seemingly so haphazardly could taste so amazingly good? And so, completely against my will, I experienced the feelings of a shy and sheltered vestal virgin whose body and soul had just been forcefully claimed by a fierce, charismatic…warrior. Exciting. Bold. Wild. So this is the true color of Kobayashi Rindou, the brave barbarian."
…
Uh…
Eishi wasn't quite sure what to say in the aftermath of the passionate review...which had read like the back cover of a paperback romance novel for some reason. "…Exactly what did you do again to convince the critic to reevaluate your cooking…?"
Rindou, once more, did not look very pleased with her new moniker. She was very close to yelling again, actually. "I didn't do anything!" she insisted, eyes large and looking at him like she was the most innocent lamb in the whole wide world.
He stared at her. He didn't even have to say anything. She huffed and crossed her arms before her chest, shameless and unrepentant.
"…Oh, alright! Don't look at me like that! I might have strongly convinced him to reconsider that 'wild woman' name he coined for me…!"
Eishi grew even more nonplussed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I might have kind of maybe hijackedhiscarandtrickedhimintosittingdownforanothermealthatImadeonlythathekindafoundoutandsoIhadtotakesomedrasticmeasurestohavehimeatmyfood!"
"Huh?"
She looked at him, starting to get grumpily irritated. She opened her mouth to speak again, but apparently he had finally deciphered her ramblings, for he cut her off incredulously before she could start.
"You kidnapped him?"
"I did not kidnap the guy!" the redhead refuted hotly, though her cheeks were turning a bit pink with chagrin. "I just borrowed a bit of his time and then I fed him!"
…Something did not sound quite right here, though before Eishi could ask more, she hurriedly barreled forward.
"Geeze! I worked very hard to be impressive! What's 'brave barbarian' even s'posed to mean?"
Eishi sighed. "…I've got no idea. Still, you must have done something that got you notably elevated from 'wild woman' to 'brave barbarian.'"
"Ooh, I resent that! I didn't even cook anything very weird! And there's nothing barbaric about me…at all! Being given this sort of name is very cruel on the glass heart of a young maiden like me, you know!"
…glass heart-
The First Seat had no idea how his Second was able to say those kinds of things with a completely straight face.
"I'm an explorer! An explorer!" Rindou was still earnestly trying to get her point across to her bemused friend.
"…So is Genghis Khan," the white haired First Seat uttered automatically in reply, and his fired up companion whipped around and squinted at him.
"Are you making fun of me?" she demanded.
He quickly shook his head. Any other answer would be detrimental to his health at this point. "No…?"
She gazed at him suspiciously for a bit before she grumbled, slumping. "What do I do now, sheesh?"
"Just let it be," he advised, his tone growing a bit gentler than usual in sympathy. Being gloomy did not suit her…
"What? And be known as a barbarian for the rest of my high school career?!"
"…Do you want to get stuck with worse?"
"What can be even worse than barbarian?" She was getting comically indignant again as she looked at him for an answer, and he was suddenly struck by the most random thought that she was amusingly adorable like this. His subsequent response to her question was almost teasing in nature, were he to be anybody else.
"…You may end up becoming 'Rindou the troublesome troglodyte,' or something like that, you know?"
"Who are you calling a troglodyte?!"
Tertium: addicted to curry
The…curry lemonade sweet tasted very…strange.
The hard candy fizzled on his tongue with loud citric hints, but the accents of turmeric, cumin and ginger were also strongly prevalent. Everything combined resulted in a chaotic havoc rioting in his mouth, and he could not help but wither a bit, his refined palate protesting this unwarranted abuse.
Rindou took one look at his greying face and almost burst into laughter.
Her shoulders shook with her mirth, and it was only out of consideration for the sensitive feelings of their young companion that she wasn't guffawing like a hyena right there and then. Instead, the redhead flashed a huge grin at the young boy who had presented the candy to the nice onii-san who had made the yummy plate of French toast, earnestly trying to express his gratitude for the delicious breakfast. Rindou rewarded the kid with an approving thumbs up sign, since the young child was still shyly waiting for a reaction for his gift.
"Yep! Looks like this onii-san absolutely loves your candy!"
They both cut their attention over to the trembling First Seat. Rindou bit back a muffled snicker. Were Tsukasa's eyes watering?
But the young man gamely kept the horrible creation in his mouth even when every bit of instinct in him was telling him to spit it out now, and he weakly nodded in agreement with Rindou's cheery comment, trying his best not to look green and to muster a wobbly smile instead.
The grade schooler brightened and started to smile back happily as well, thrilled to share the candy that he had randomly won off some weird gachapon machine, and that the older boy had seemed to enjoy his offering.
"R-Really?"
Rindou nodded again, unofficially speaking on behalf of her fellow Elite 10 member. She crouched down before the boy and beamed like a fox.
"Of course! How did ya know that lemonade and curry are this guy's favorite things to eat...together! At the same time! You're a genius, little kid! Look! Tsukasa's so happy he's 'bout to start crying-pfffft."
Eishi was trying not to twitch, what with the way Rindou was hamming it up so much that even she was having trouble containing her laughter.
"M-Maybe you should give him m-more of your candy-" the impish redhead chortled when she saw Eishi's panicked expression over the boy's head, and then he was silently giving her a very unamused look. Problem was he was about as intimidating as a floppy dishrag to her, and so Rindou paid him no mind. She was too busy turning away and snerking.
"E-Eh…! But I don't have any more left…!" the boy fretted.
"It's alright. Thank you for your candy. Your sentiments are more than enough," Eishi was quick to demur, only for the young boy to look at him in marvel.
"No, onii-san! Thank you! Next time, please make even more yummy French toast for Koji! Koji will bring all the curry lemonade candy that he can find to trade!"
Eishi looked like he really might cry if the boy were to do that. His expression turned an interesting shade of ashen blue. Rindou's was bright red from suppressed mirth.
"U-Uh, you r-really don't have to-" Much to his consternation, his stammering denial was accompanied by Rindou cackling like a witch in the background.
The boy's mother called for him then, and Koji hurriedly bowed and waved his goodbyes before scampering off.
"Ahahaha!" Rindou exploded into gales of laughter. Her golden eyes were all but streaming with tears as she pointed at her friend's comically sallow expression. Now that the boy was gone, Eishi was wilting like a piece of soggy lettuce…and the accursed candy was still sitting in his mouth. He quivered piteously, not even having the energy to properly resent the other Elite for openly delighting in his misery. It was hardly the manliest or inspiring sight, but the sensitive teen was already at his limit.
"I think I'm going to be sick," he mumbled in distress around the candy rolling around over his tongue, mainly because it was the height of bad manners to waste food and he had been raised better than to spit out perfectly edible (in theory) food, regardless of taste or flavor. Eishi was resigned to suffering through the next few minutes in a curry lemonade-induced haze of misery…or at least that had been what he had dreadfully anticipated, only Rindou had other ideas.
"It can't be that bad-"
Catlike eyes still glinting with mischievous humor, the redhead straightened and leaned over. He watched her blankly, not realizing her intention until it was too late-
She reached for his collar and reeled him in. He sucked in a deep breath in startlement, pale lavender eyes widening-
And then her lips were planted on his.
He stilled, turning rigid. Her mouth was soft against his, but he did not have long to wonder over it. Her tongue deftly slipped between his parted lips and nimbly fished out the piece of candy from his mouth, and her mission completed, she pulled away with quicksilver ease, rolling the candy around in her mouth and sucking at it. She hummed in thought.
"…Sweet and spicy, huh. I've had worse~" she gave her verdict, licking her lips. The same pair of lips that had been directly connected to his own mere moments ago.
…He just gawked at her, too stumped to speak.
And slowly started to turn a dull shade of red.
"R-Rindou!"
"What?" she drawled shamelessly, loudly crunching the candy between her teeth. Unlike him, it did not take her long to make short work of the unusual tasting sweet. She was almost sorry that it was gone so quick. She thought that it had quite an interesting flavor...
"I'm doing you a favor here! Why are you so flustered?"
"…"
::owari::
Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:
I'm alive! And also quite apologetic for briefly going MIA, sorry about that! Work has been kicking my butt pretty hard so I found myself lacking in both time to write as well as inspiration to do so, gah. Thankfully, the worst of it seems to be over, at least for now…! How are all of you? Hope that everyone is doing great and yelling about the latest update of SnS! :)
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Omne trium perfectum is a Latin phrase that means 'everything that comes in threes is perfect' or 'every set of three is complete.' I chose the title in reference to the three separate vignettes that made up this chapter. Do note that these vignettes are not exactly sequential per se, but the events occur in the same Peerless!verse so make of them as you will!
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Themes and notes for the three vignettes are as follows:
Primus: Feat. drunk!Eishi! This is a personal headcanon – I see Eishi as more the lightweight out of the two when it comes to alcohol tolerance. On the other hand, Rindou can drink like a fish. She probably can drink the entire Elite 10 under the table, heh!
Anyway. Drunk!Eishi is very deadpan; has no filter, calmly and blankly processes everything that goes through his mind and then flatly blurts them all out (as he gets progressively intoxicated). He is also quite docile and actually looks and behaves very normally (inadvertently lulling the people around him into a false state of assurance)…at least until he starts doing some randomly questionable things in seemingly perfectly logical, matter-of-fact fashion, lol.
Tl;dr: this can be one really troublesome guy to take care of when drunk, haha.
Side note: I should also do a drunk!Rindou vignette one of these days, just to complete this set…!
Secundo: This was partially inspired by a conversation that I had some time back with owo. I remembered that we were discussing the SnS volume extras, especially that one doodle where Rindou first discovered Eishi's 'White Knight of the Table' title from a magazine (which I still thought was really funny and adorable how she ran around so amused and proud of his moniker at the same time). That got me to thinking; what if the other way around was also true? Because I'm pretty sure that Eishi would likely be the first person Rindou would go to when it comes to sharing news like this…!
…This was also written in (half-hearted) protest of Rindou's canon moniker, the Brave Barbarian. I'm still trying to understand exactly what that's supposed to mean in reference to Rindou's cooking style. Yes, Rindou works with exotic ingredients and she is also really adventurous when it comes to trying out all sorts of food…but what's so barbaric about that again? In light of what we know of her, she seems more like a 'Brave Explorer' than a 'Brave Barbarian…?'
I also wonder if Rindou actually liked this title that she had been given. You don't really see her bringing it up at all in canon – in fact, she seemed more interested in talking about the others, hence the conjecture I made that she might not be very impressed with her professional alias, ahaha.
Besides, think about it; what girl (or chef) would voluntarily want to be called a barbarian…? 'You cook like a barbarian' isn't exactly a compliment either…? I'm very puzzled. XD
Tertium: I was filled with the urge to write silly/fluffy shojo-ish scenarios after reading a shojo series, and this was the result. Rindou, don't stick your tongue in people's mouth just to get at their candy!
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Main leads' ages in this chapter: 18 y.o.
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Your reviews make me update faster; so please leave a comment if you like this fic!
-sllebswap